#rougescribe

His gaze swerved over the full display of food bowls and the... Wait.

“You prepared all of this yourself?”

Loke froze in his movement for a second and Gray almost missed the hesitation. Almost. When his friend turned around with a glass in each of his hands, he shot a lopsided grin towards Gray. “Weeeell..... Not all of it.”

Gray knew exactly where this was going. “What did you prepare yourself?”

With a roll of his shoulders Loke smoothly turned his back on him to pour them both a glass of wine. “This and that... I toasted the bread and cooked the eggs and-”

“You ordered the rest of the meal.”

“Got me there.”

Even so, starting off the evening with a meal and wine was a very good idea. It was pretty decent wine, too. Before Gray knew it he had already emptied two glasses. They hadn't planned on getting drunk but then again, they hadn't planned out anything really so this night could go anywhere.

Or, almost anywhere.

After they cleaned up they decided to move over to Loke's couch and watch some shitty night tv channel. This channel seriously never disappointed them – there was always something dumb to comment on and make fun about and Gray caught himself laughing at more of Loke's stupid jokes than he wanted to admit. It had always been this way.

The night progressed very fast and it was an absolutely good time. Everything was so easy when he was around Loke. Silly and chill. Gray felt relaxed.

And perhaps it was the bottle of wine that they had killed together (though Gray felt a very tiny buzz at most), but there was something so warm and good about Loke and him just chilling on his bed together and talking about random stuff before sleep would get to them. There was nothing weird about them sharing this bed, nothing weird about two half-naked guys right next to each other and sharing their thoughts.

Until Loke thought that it was a good idea to bring that topic into focus.

“Why again are we talking about this?” Gray averted his eyes and stared at the ceiling instead. He made an effort to sound annoyed but something told him that it wouldn't be so easy to distract Loke from his intention. Ugh... He really didn't like talking about this kinda stuff. And perhaps one of the reasons for this circumstance was right beside him...

“Because you're one of my best friends. And because I'm very curious.” Loke rolled onto his side. “I know all about Cana's love life and-”

“It's not like she has ever tried to make a secret out of it. She's a very blunt person. She loves telling us juicy new information involving her newest crush and so on,” Gray tried to counter.

Without much success.

“I want to know more about your love life, though. We've been buddies for so long and I know that you're not much of a talker, but c'mon. There's got to be somebody, right?”

Something about Loke's tone of voice had changed, but he wasn't able to pinpoint what exactly it was. Maybe there was a tad bit less amusement in it, or perhaps he just sounded more serious.

Gray frowned. He still didn't really feel like talking about this. Yea, he'd much rather change the subject. Besides, there wasn't much to tell anyway...

“Okay.” Loke tried again after a moment of silence. Did he realize that he wasn't gonna say much, even if he begged him to? “If you don't want to tell me any stories yourself, how about I ask what I'm curious about and you answer?” A short pause. “Or not-,” Loke added quickly. “If you don't want to.”

So he still wanted to hold onto this topic. And Gray really wondered why. Perhaps it was the wine that they both had consumed and the fact that they were chilling on Loke's bed, comfortable with blanket and pillows and a crappy reality tv series playing in the background still.

With a sigh, Gray decided that he would agree. For as long as he could bear it. “Alright, fine.”

How could he mentally prepare himself for the questions that might come for him? He probably couldn't.

“Okaaay...,” Loke shifted to lie on his back as well and focused on the ceiling, just like Gray. “I know that your relationship with Juvia didn't work out. But I never actually asked if it was you breaking up with her or the other way round. So what was up with that? She's a sweet woman.”

Gray frowned at that. He should have expected Juvia to be the first person to be brought up but he still felt unprepared. On the other hand, it wasn't too hard talking about her, because... “We kinda both did it? It was weird. I think we both just got carried away and didn't realize from the start that we had different feelings for each other that weren't romantic love, you know? We care for each other a lot, just not... in that kinda way. And we're fine with that.” He couldn't believe that the words were just spouting from his mouth like that and that, actually, it wasn't too difficult to talk about it either.

For so long he had always just lived with the perception that he had to hide away his true feelings from anybody. As time went by and he made his true friends, he learned to let go of this perception step by step, but romantic love was a topic that he had barely ever approached up until now. At least when he himself was involved.

“Huh, alright. Totally get that. I mean, you guys are still good friends, right? I haven't seen her in a while.”

“Yea. She's got a new job and it's pretty busy. Didn't Cana meet her last week?” Gray mused loudly.

“No idea,” Loke shrugged before a small grin appeared on his face. “Talking about Cana... Did you ever have the hots for her?”

Now, that was a question Gray had to grimace it. It wasn't because Cana wasn't an amazing woman or didn't look great, but... Their relationship had really turned out to be one between a brother and a sister. They had fun together, she was game for anything and sometimes they annoyed each other just to hang out again not long after.

Of course he knew why Loke was asking. All three of them were pretty close after all. Loke had even been Cana's boyfriend for a short while before they cut it off again, all without any hard feelings. Gray had always admired this casualty a bit.

And Cana and himself? She had been his first kiss... Ah, yea.

“No, not really, I guess...,” he ended up muttering and scratched his nose in a sense of awkwardness. “She's really been more like a sister all this time and I don't think that's gonna change.”

“And that kiss?”

Yea, yea, yea... “That was... just curiosity. We were kids, kids are curious.” Gray still couldn't say it without feeling even more awkward.

Luckily, Loke seemed content enough with this answer and when Gray dared to turn his head so he could catch a glimpse of Loke's face, he spotted the small smile. Was it amusement? Was it happiness? He was unable to figure it out. Maybe it wasn't important.

“Fact is, she's amazing. And we'd definitely miss her in our squad, right?”

Now that was something Gray could agree with without hesitating a single second. “For sure.”

“Okay, so what about Natsu?”

Loke was facing him again now and he actually had to laugh out loud at the face Gray pulled once the question had slipped past his lips. The sound of it made Gray's heart jump but the absurdity of the suggestion was in the forefront of his mind. Natsu? Never in a million years! “Do you still need an answer?” He asked, mumbling and still with a grimace. “Besides, he's with Lucy. Lucy can deal with his hot-tempered ass. Sometimes I feel really sorry for her.”

His best friend had a hard time suppressing his chuckles. “I mean, you two act like an old married couple sometimes. It would be cute as well – if it wasn't for you wanting to bash each other's head in on a regular basis.”

“Go fuck yourself!”

“Oh, kinky Fullbuster is here.”

“Shut up!”

It was over, Loke was laughing and rolled around on the bed until he almost pushed Gray off the edge. He could be worked up about Loke asking if he had a thing for Natsu, or he could let himself get infected by his friend's laughter, ignoring the soft warmth in his cheeks. He didn't hate Natsu and Natsu didn't hate him. Honestly, they'd probably help each other out of the biggest problems and be there for each other but the bond they had was still more like a... love-hate thing? It was hard to imagine a life without Natsu in it but sometimes he just wanted to throw him into the nearest trash can.

Oh well... The second option won out anyway. At this point it was impossible not to give a laughter of his own and with a quiet, playful curse on his lips he pushed Loke away again so he wouldn't end up falling off the bed after all.

“Calm down man, it wasn't that funny,” he argued and huffed, a not so secret smile on his face, though.

It took another moment for Loke to calm down but eventually he just wiped a single tear off his face and then he was ready to proceed.

Gray had hoped that he was done.

“Okay, okay, okay...” The ginger placed a finger on his lips, looking as though he was thinking hard. Gray didn't trust any of it. How was he still not done? “What about Erza?”

“She's just a good friend.” Although, and that was something he had never told anybody really, he's had a small crush on her years ago. Years ago, really.

“Fine. She's a very impressive woman, though, damn. If she wasn't part of our friendship group I'd be so intimidated.”

“Yea.”

Gray knew that they still were pretty intimidated by her sometimes, though. They just didn't like to admit it.

“Mirajane?”

“Dude, she's a lesbian.”

“The women of this world are very lucky.” Loke sighed and placed the hands behind his head, looking at the ceiling again. “Levy? No wait, she's taken, too. No surprise, she's cute and smart.”

“So don't ask me about Gajeel.” He was almost getting used to these casual suggestions now.

“Right, right. Freed?”

“He's engaged with Laxus, remember?”

“Sure, sure. Two more attractive dudes off the market.” Loke waved him off, but the grin had returned. “Maybe I'm just trying to be nosy and find out what kinda guys you like... And girls. But I'm more curious about the guys.”

And Gray hated how fast this false feeling of casualty disappeared again. It flew right out of the window. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw his friend grinning at him and he couldn't handle it right now. He just hoped that his reaction wasn't too obvious and that the warmth tingling in his body was to blame on the remains of the wine (even though they really hadn't drunken much). Harrumphing quietly, he decided to fake-stretch himself and then roll onto his side. “I don't have a type. Are you done, then? I'm kinda tired, seriously.”

Gray wanted to hit himself because of this obvious sounding lie. How more obvious could he be?! Still, the tiny, naive spark of hope that Loke would buy it and just leave it be was there and he felt tense when he awaited his friend's response. It was really late, so that was no lie at least. Late, early? It was starting to get light again outside anyway.

Wow, had they really been talking for so long?! The tv was still on, too, but he hadn't been paying attention to it anymore at all.

“No type?”

He felt Loke shifting and so he decided to fake a yawn. “No, I don't think I have one.”

“Huh, okay, I get it.” Loke was looking over Gray's shoulder, he could see it out of the corner of his eyes. Intently he averted his eyes and just stared at Loke's wardrobe, still lying on his side. For a second he thought that Loke was done, but then- “Except that I don't get it. I mean, you only have to take a look at this charming face of mine and you'll be sold.”

More heat seeped into Gray's cheeks immediately and he really, really wanted to blame it on the alcohol again. Was Loke trying to flirt? Was he just being Loke? He could never be too sure about it... There was no way that Loke was seriously having any interest in him like... that, right? Fuck.

He knew that he shouldn't turn his head and look, because that was exactly what his friend wanted him to do. He knew he would be doomed and his heart would make that kind of jump again and make him feel stupid, but...

Turning, with Loke half-hovering above him, he looked straight at him and Loke immediately intensified his stupidly charming grin.

“See? Hooked yet? Nobody can resist this beautiful face.”

There was so much Gray wanted to do, but would never dare to. There were so many thoughts in his head that he wasn't anywhere near ready to voice yet. Loke's illegally suave grin, the colored light of the sunrise beginning to stream through the window, their closeness, the flirty atmosphere...

But it was just them being bros. It had always been this way.

Or had it not?

When had his stupid heart begun to make such a ruckus about Loke? And was there the smallest chance of Loke feeling the same?

Fuck. He hated the conflict this man threw him into and yet, at the same time, he wouldn't want to miss these evenings. Not a single one of them.

And before he even took note of it, he was having a lopsided grin of his own, with the most stupid little hope somewhere in his heart. “Pfft, sure. Try again, man.”

“Oh you know I'm an enthusiastic pursuer of my goals,” Loke countered and adjusted his non-existent tie in a silly way.

“I don't mind', Gray thought to himself and when catching this thought of his he just waved his friend off again and huffed before turning his back on the ginger. With a smile sneaking its way onto his face, he muttered.

“Night, you idiot.”

“Hey, I wasn't done yet,” came the silly complaint from behind him and before Gray knew it, Loke had flopped on top of him. How could he have been so naive to think that a simple 'good night' would shut his friend up? It wasn't like he had a huge issue with Loke flopping onto him, but part of him had and... it wasn't exactly helping his case and all the thoughts he's had around it.

“You can't just turn your back on me like that. What point are you trying to prove? I'm irresistable. And if you're really going to try and escape this simple reality, you've got to try harder than that! Worshiping the beauty that is me is inevitable, Gray.”

Gray knew all too well that Loke could just go on like this forever. At least it hadn't reached the point of him becoming ridiculously poetic about himself yet, although the thought made him want to shake his head and roll his eyes in fondness. Still, he really wanted to sleep. Or perhaps calm down and shut off his brain for now.

So he just tried to shrug Loke off with a huff and grumbled. “I swear, I'll throw you off this bed if I have to.”

“You would yeet me off my own bed?!” A surprise gasp.

“Yea. Yea, I would.”

It was definitely worth it because he finally seemed to get through to his friend and, perhaps more importantly, he got more of Loke's warm laughter before he felt how said man retreated and made himself comfortable without sprawling across him.

“Fine, fine. I don't wanna get yeeted anywhere today, so sleep well, have sweet dreams and all that.”

The chuckle in Loke's voice faded away with his words and then it was quiet.