#rosca

I didn't end up having the time to make a Christmas comic, so I had to turn things around for New Year's Eve. My resolution this year is to get my projects off the ground for real this time, although I always say that. In turn, some characters from those future projects are here to give their new year's resolutions. I wanted to come up with more panels than this, but uhhh I didn't. Maybe next year!

so this happened on Friday. In hispanic culture, January 6th is Dia De Reyes. We were celebrating it late bc my stepfather couldn’t get the rosca bread on Thursday. I got called down to eat the rosca bread with them. I came downstairs and we started getting the table ready. My mom had sat down and I asked her if I could join a theater camp bc my friend was probably gonna be forced to do it.  My friend told me that he probably has depression so I know being forced to do things like clubs might be harder for them. When I asked my mom said “we’ll see, I wish you would do things because you want to and not just because (best friend name) is doing them. Develop your own interests, okay?😐”. I just nod. Does me being into all these fandoms my best friend doesn’t know NOT show that I’ve developed my own interests?

We sit down and start eating. I try to finish quick bc I just want to get out of there. I eat most things with a fork or a paper towel bc I don’t rlly like how food feels on   my fingers. I make sure that ppl know it’s bc I don’t like feeling, not because I think I’m “too good” to eat with my fingers. My mom them forces me to eat with my fingers and then says eating rosca with a fork looks “disrespectful” . 

I then ask if Cubans celebrate Dia De Reyes bc there’s a cuban character I headcanon has chipped their tooth / choked on the little baby figure inside the bread. I even ask my stepfather “Lance is Cuban right?”. When I ask my mom if cubans celebrate Dia De Reyes she says “is it because (best friend name) is Cuban and you wanna see if that’s what she does?” and then I say no and she says “well gee”.

She seems down the entire time we eat. I ask her if we eat rosca other times of the year. She says “no we don’t this is a tradition I’ve explained to you millions of times”. My mom then says “I don’t think we should do this again next year, we’re not enjoying this as much as we used to”. My stepfather disagrees. 

My mom leaves the table, my stepfather goes after her and I’m left at the table alone. I sit there for a few minutes before I go hide in the bathroom. From the bathroom I can hear my mom wailing and sobbing from upstairs.

I cry a teensy bit in the bathroom before I calm myself down by watching Voltron videos. 

When I come out of the bathroom my stepfather says “ I think you should apologize to mom. You’ve been disconnected and not engaged lately.” After a bit I go upstairs and try to think of what to say to my mom bc I’m forcing myself to apologize. My stepfather is just stroking my mom the entire time like a fucking teachers pet but with a partner  😐.

He then goes on about “it’s mom that makes christmas special” and “ we need to apologize to mom” like she’s some type of perfect little saint. I force myself to apologize and I start crying bc I feel emotional. MY STEPFATHER ASKS WHY I’M CRYING. I then , having had enough, lose control over my feelings and say “it’s because I got emotional!” and I go into the upstairs bathroom. He says “you know what? (deadname) come back here” and then he says “it’s not okay to snap at people like that” 

He then says “you’re in control of your emotions and what you do” even tho half the time I’m not.