#ronald rust

"Practically every night of my life," said Vimes. "A man doesn't keep an eye on his armor round here, that man's got no armor in the morning."

"In prayer," said Rust sharply.

"That's me," said Vimes. "Not a night has gone by without me thinking, 'Ye gods, I hope I get through this alive.'"

"—and he must have proved himself on the field of combat. Against other trained men, Vimes. Not vermin and thugs."

Vimes started to undo the strap of his helmet.

"Well, this isn't the best of moments, my lord, but if someone'll hold your coat I can spare you five minutes..."

Vimes antagonising Rust at any given moment

[…]

“Lord Vetinari on his holidays, then?”

“Lord Vetinari stepped down this evening, Vimes,” said Lord Rust. “Pro tem, of course. Just for the duration of the emergency.”

“Really?” said Vimes.

“Yes. And I have to say that he anticipated a certain… cynicism on your part, commander, and therefore asked me to give you this letter. You will see that it is sealed with his seal.”

Vimes looked at the envelope. There was certainly the official seal in the wax, but-

He met Lord Rust’s gaze and at least that suspicion faded. Rust wouldn’t try a trick like that. Men like Rust had a moral code of sorts, and some things weren’t honorable. You could own a street of crowded houses where people lived like cockroaches and the cockroaches lived like kings and that was perfectly okay, but Rust would probably die before he’d descend to forgery.

“I see, sir,” said Vimes.

Vimes: This is not a war. This is an arrest.

Rust: We have five million soldiers! How many are you?

Vimes: Four.

Rust: You would arrest the armies of Ankh-Morpork with four Watchmen?

Vimes: We would arrest the armies of Ankh-Morpork with one Watchman.

Vimes: You are superior in only one respect.

Rust: What is that?

“This is a nonsense, he said. “And you, Vimes, certainly are no knight. Only a king can make-”

“There’s a good few lordships in this city created by the Patricians,” said Vimes. “Your friend Lord Downey, for one. You were saying?”

“Strange as it may seem, Sir Samuel, I am occasionally capable of governing this city for minutes at a time without seeking your advice and guidance.”

“I meant there’s a lot of anti-Klatchian feeling around-”

“A really greasy piece of work-” Lord Rust whispered to Mr. Boggis, in that special aristocratic whisper that carries to the rafters. “It’s an insult to send him here!”

“I am sure that you will see to it that the streets are safe to walk, Vimes,” said the Patrician sharply. “I know you pride yourself on that sort of thing. Officially he’s here because the wizards have invited him to their big award ceremony. An honorary doctorate, that sort of thing. And one of their lunches afterward. I do like negotiating with people after the faculty of Unseen University have entertained them to lunch. They tend not to move about much and they’ll agree to practically anything if they think there’s a chance of a stomach powder and a small glass of water. And now, gentlemen… if you will excuse me…”