#romance corner

Oh God, please tell me. How can I something that you would miss?Something that you would crave for?Something that you would love?Please, please tell me. For I am going insane.

Even if I try to paint myself according to the art you always loved, I knew it would just be another waste of time. For I know, that whatever I do, you won't be able to appreciate me, no matter what I do. And it sucks, for I appreciate you so much, I love you so much yet it's all just me. I would just be another painting in the shadows of your gallery of beautiful masterpieces.

I'm careless. I often break things that are valuable to everyone. I tend to break everything I touch, and I literally disappoint everyone. I'm a careless person, and you know, I'm going to break your heart. I'm going to accidentally slip it in on manholes and forget where it went. I'll just clumsily hold your heart and in a matter of time, it wouldn't be in my hands anymore. I would be your worst lover, I'd be forgetting everything and breaking almost every thing. You'd hate me for that. So please, don't love a careless girl like me. For I'd just misplace your love, and I'd just break your heart.

I think unrequited love is the worst. For it's like stabbing your chest, watching yourself bleed, and saying sorry for your mess.

Loving a person while you're broken is like letting a person pick up your broken pieces and trusting them not to shatter them more. It's like you give what was left of you to the person you love--thinking that that person would be able to love you wholly even though you're broken. And when the person cannot understand you anymore, you would try to let them see you, let them understand what kind of horrors you have been through, and let the person stay with you longer, even though it already hurts. But when they doubt your love, for you have a lot of inconsistencies and lapses from the parts that you have lost, you would try to prove yourself more, and break your already broken pieces, just to prove that what you felt was genuine, so when the person leaves, it would just result into total nothingness.

Unrequited love is the worst. For when you have someone who loves you back, you trust them that they won't stab you in your chest with the dagger in his hands, as he trusts you that you won't ever try to stab him back with the knife clasped in your hands. But in unrequited love, you have your hands clasped in a double-edged sword. You try to make him love you by trying to color your body with your blood and you try to make him fall with your bruised lips that you bit because you tried not to cry when you saw him with someone else. And what's the worst is when you try your best and you don't succeed, you stab yourself with the sword and as he looks at you, you say sorry for your mess as he takes your injured heart away.

He had the brightest smile in his group, and he also had the nicest personality among them. He smiles at the girls who smile at him, and he even says hi to those who greet him. I really thought he was gay.  Day after day, I see him in the corridors with this twinkling smile. I seriously think he’s just some other guy who gets girls with those tactics. I don’t believe he’s nice.  Months after, I was still looking at him, and now I realized his smile was genuine. He has a friend in my group, and our common friend said he was nice. And he had a girlfriend before, but she broke his heart. She said he was such an angel, but I never listened. She proved me wrong, and I felt so bad. A year after, he already caught my heart with a smile. All of the bullshit I thought about him became my favorite. And now, the one that I hate is how I perceived him to be. Now, I cannot talk to him because I feel so guilty and giddy at the same time, but I keep on wishing that I see a glimpse of his smile every morning.