#poetrait

My heart still constricts at the thought of you. I know it’s been weeks, or months, but I still cannot let my feelings go. You were still the one I think of in the mornings, and also my late thoughts at night. You still remain to be my muse even after a long period of time. And you know what, I do not want to think about you anymore. I want you out of my mind, out of heart, and out of my life. By this time, you don’t remember me much, maybe I was just another friend to you, the one that mattered only for a few moments, and then gone. This hurts so bad, I miss you so bad, and yet I can’t do anything, for you don’t want to be with me anymore. I’m out of ideas. I’m almost out of life, and yet I still fucking love you, damn it.

Here I am, still missing you. I know I tried not to make you matter to me this much, and I know I tried to defy these feelings from overcoming me, but I can’t. In your arms, I felt home. In your presence, I felt comfortable. You told me bad things about yourself and yet I saw them as beautiful. I know that I’m not the one you think about at 2 am, nor the one that makes you up all night. It’s crazy, how I keep my feelings for you, even though I know that I’m only tearing myself apart. I don’t want this to go on. I don’t want to wake up crying because you don’t love me back. But what can I do, if the only thing that I could do is love you?

It’s 4 am and I’m thinking about your name. I’m thinking about what would it feel if it slipped from my lips when you asked who was the one I love. I’m thinking about what could have happened when you called me at a late time and you asked me what was my favorite word is, what if I told you that it was your name? I’m thinking of the times that I almost called you in a way that you would distinguish the love I tried to keep from you. It’s 4 am and I’m wondering what could have happened if I told you that your name is my favorite word and I am in love with you.

Oh God, please tell me. How can I something that you would miss?Something that you would crave for?Something that you would love?Please, please tell me. For I am going insane.