#roller rescue

I don't even know where this game materialised from - it's been lying around my dad's house for years and I rediscovered it when I went back for a visit last week, so I brought it back to the flat

I'm not gonna lie, I didn't exactly have high expectations - it seems pretty generic and low budget and I don't think I've even heard of these so called Xplosiv chaps who apparently published the game but oh how my expectations were about to be FLIPPED

So Roller Rescue consists of Hello Kitty nyooming round various adventure stages such as food courts and theme parks and shopping centres and large freezer unit places, booping generic evil cylinders on the head with a magic wand and saving various members and friends of the White family who have been locked away in cages within each stage for no obvious reason. Yay!

You get to choose a little companion to help you boop the evil cylinders, and the first level opens with Kitty accompanied by a charming penguin called Badtz-Maru who aids your crime-fighting adventures equipped with a frying pan and I think by this point I'd already been won over cause literally what is better than a cute little penguin waddling about attacking things with a frying pan. NOTHING THATS WHAT

He then mysteriously disappears without explanation and you dont get to companion with him again which initially set off my suspicions that Badtz-Maru may in fact be an evil criminal mastermind but hey

Instead we get to pick from an exciting kawaii range of other companions including Keroppi the frog and My Melody

All characters come equipped with their own unique little stats and abilities, but I think my favourite was definitely Monkichi I mean look at this little silly monkey face

And his special ability thing was chucking bananas and it was too much for me to handle and I spent most of this game making high pitched noises of distress at how cute this game was 

There's also lots of outfits and weapons to unlock - I managed to get most but not all because I think the criteria was to get an S rank in every level which I did not :c

As well as this there's also character profiles to unlock and buy which gives a bit of background info to each character - again, there were some I didn't manage to unlock including Badtz-Maru who remained as an ominous question mark which just further contributed to this theory he may be at the source of evil behind the events of this game

But all in all, I was genuinely enjoying this game so much. It's the literal definition of kawaii, everything is so cute and pink and bouncy and sparkley that it hurts. Even the cut scenes were quite impressive for a low budget PS2 game and although it's ridiculously easy to complete as would be expected from a game rated for ages 3+, I did get stuck at the first boss and died 3 times, much to the amusement of my flatmates. That 3+ rating is nonsense, this game is brutal I tell you.

But I did make it to the last stage, THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

and I was greeted by the final big boss which turned out to be giant transformer type robot monstrosity, pieced together from all the other boss carcasses I'd beaten to a bloody pulp with my magic wand (or rather my mambo maraca stick thing that I'd unlocked by that point which seemed more sassy than a magic wand)

So while he stomped about throwing buildings about and eating villagers and whatnot, my job was to stall him long enough while Keroppi + co constructed a big super mega cannon to blast him into space and save the world WOO (video to follow)