#robross

don’t think about ross waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, nightmares about the time he almost lost everything, images of robert falling to the ground - the sound of the gun ringing in his ears. don’t think about ross struggling with the guilt and trauma of having done something so horrible to someone so special - and hiding his turmoil from robert because how dare he put this on him? how dare ross burden him with this on top of everything else? 

don’t think about ross and robert, sneaking onto butler’s, making out in empty barns or strolling hand in hand at the southern boundary of the lower field. remembering this resented piece of their separate histories that they somehow now share. feeling close to their fathers - equal parts bitter and wistful about the things they’d lost and the things they’d never had.

don’t think about robross having long talks about their sexuality. working through it together. getting into awful fights - all raw feelings and exposed nerves and excruciating vulnerability. don’t think about ross guiding robert through periods of massive insecurity about being with men, about being bi, about liking both.