The Journey

(I realize it has been nearly a fortnight since the concert. Life’s been wild, y’all. I try to get reviews out within a day or two of a show, because I tend to forget a lot after that, but luckily I had enough of this concert to jog my memory with: everything below is recollected from my photos, videos, and good memories of the night.)

The usual litany for non-UK residents: I don’t live in London, need to commute there, London can be tricky to navigate. But much like my trip to the Ed Banger House Party earlier in the year, I had no trouble finding my way around.

O2 Islington is one Tube stop away from King’s Cross St. Pancras. Get on the Northern Line, get off at Angel, leave station and turn left. It’s the smallest O2 venue in the UK (correct me if I’m wrong) with ground floor capacity of 800, and like, it’s in a mall. I’d booked a hotel five minutes from King’s Cross; I arrived around 3:30pm, with plenty of time to get ready. I didn’t think I would be in that much of a hurry to get there early. Doors open at seven. If I got going at five, I’d be able to start queuing from five thirty or so. Easy front row, right?

Wrong. In my years spent adrift from industrial metal, I’d forgotten how dedicated metalheads are. When I got there, a queue had already started.

An explanation of the queues at O2 venues. There are two queues, priority and normal. I was in the latter, and there were about seven people ahead of me, who had apparently been there since about three o’clock. The priority queues are reserved for people who are on the mobile O2 network, and if a performance supports VIPs, holders of said tickets go in the priority queue too. They enter the venue first. Oomph! had VIP tickets for priority entry and tiered rewards (signaled by pink, yellow, and golden wristbands), as well as plenty of people using O2; because of this, the priority line added up to almost a hundred people, all of whom who got in before I did. It is sometimes possible to jump to priority at an O2, even if you don’t meet the criteria, if you are one of the first few in the normal queue. O2 Brixton jumped me ahead for Justice two years ago because I was the first to arrive. No such luck this time; I made it to third row, promoted to second, in the end.

There’s a lesson to be learnt here, except I’ve known this lesson from the very beginning. I just forgot, somehow. I queued over eight hours to manage front row at Rammstein seven years ago, and I didn’t even know what I should expect of a metal concert queue back then. If I have to praise 2012 magistralucis for anything, it would be that.

But back to the point. Another thing which astounded me was just how many people there were. I was never aware of many Oomph! fans around me as long as I’ve been in the UK. Compared to their fans in Germany or Russia, we’re a silent lot, at least I thought so until I was queuing up. So many VIP fans. Hundreds more in the normal queue. By the end of the opener act, the venue was packed - sold out, or something close to it. I could not believe my eyes. There’s the kind of mutual acknowledgement you share with a fellow dancer when you’re at an EDM show, and there’s the instant, powerful, and affectionate camaraderie you share with fellow metal fans you never even imagined existed. People much older than I was, milling around at the VIP queue; people much younger than me, at least one at her first gig; people who’ve been listening to Oomph! for ten years or more, like the beautiful girl I was queuing with. Oomph! might not have played here until now, but in the thirty years in between they built up a lot of dedicated fans here.

I was in love. And that’s before we even went inside. Bag checks complete, we were granted entry, and I made for the bar.

Opener: Heldmaschine [8PM - 8:30PM]

Before I start talking about the music, let me tell you about the one beef I have with O2 Islington. Just the one.

They will not give you a lid with your bottled water. London clubs are full of shit when it comes to drinks, God knows it’s the first thing I talk about in my show reviews. I can still handle the price, but why on earth does this place have to remove the lid in addition to charging me £3.50/500ml?! The bottles came with lids! The bartender literally screwed them off in front of me like ‘oh sorry, we can’t give you those, it’s policy’. What policy? Don’t give me the ‘you could throw this at others’ or ‘people might step on a closed bottle and slip’ bullshit! Isn’t it more of a slip hazard to have water spilling everywhere from a lidless bottle, anyway? You know, when you’re rocking out, like you do at a concert? I’ve been to London venues bigger than this that straight up gave you your drinks in solid pub glasses, or just gave you the bottle, and nobody suffered for it! Give me the fucking lid!

God I’m still mad about this. Eventually I McGyvered a lid out of two layers of tissue and a hair tie, once I’d drunk half of the bottle to prevent it sloshing through the tissue. It worked, and my bag stayed dry. So suck on that, O2 Islington. Or all O2s, if this is company policy. Moving on.

I take my drink and my place. One by one people gather around me, then behind me. Some linger on the upstairs balcony. One hour after entry, the venue is decently full, and the opener starts up at last. At this point I have no idea who Oomph!’s opening act is for the UK (Oomph!’s tour page lists different opening acts for different countries/regions), and have even less idea what I should expect, when the stage falls dark and out slides-

I-industrial metal Daft Punk...?

Oh my God. Oh my God oh god oh god o H G O D

Let’s get one thing out of the way first. When I go to a show, I’m usually wearing related merch, and if I don’t have any I show up in something unmarked. Talking only about metalheads, I’ve seen quite a lot of fans who come decked out in badges/merch from dozens of different bands, which is fine too. I’m trying to not look like I’m taking sides, is all, or inviting rivalry where I don’t need any. So, basically, the ethics of comparing Oomph! and Rammstein is always a sticky topic for me. I have heard that Dero and the guys find overt comparison irritating, and honestly, I don’t blame them. Oomph! made NDH. I saw a lot of fans during this show who came in exclusively R+ merch, and I still don’t know what to feel about that, to be honest. I’ve plenty of R+ merch myself but I didn’t even slightly want to risk, like, being awkward. All I can comment on is that Oomph! appear to have their own ideas on their relationship with R+, as they chose an opening act who were absolutely stellar, blew the crowd away, and... very Rammstein-y. I mean, look at the singer (René Anlauff). He looks like Ti-

I mean you gotta-

Look at the sim-

Later on, I’ll discover Heldmaschine actually started out as a Rammstein tribute band (Völkerball), so none of this is surprising in hindsight. But I’m not talking about later. I’m talking about what it was like, in the moment. And what it was like was fantastic. Just. Look at this. Just listen to what they have to offer.

‘Radioaktiv’ was an instant favourite. If anybody wasn’t sure about them until this point, they sure were once René began shooting out fucking lasers from his outfit. Here’s a recent live performance of it from the band themselves, to show how it went. I’d include my own video, but faithful to their electro base, Heldmaschine has extremely flashy lighting on par with EDM shows. O2 Islington has an elevated stage, so it was never that the band was literally not visible, but the lighting still added a good helping of the I Can’t See For Shit Syndrome. It wasn’t like that all night, so I can’t complain.

My first thought was that Heldmaschine’s sound immediately resembles Rammstein’s, but not in the vein of R+’s more recent work. Heldmaschine are far closer to electro-metal; similar to Rammstein’s Sehnsucht era, which was many years ago. Heldmaschine have refused to stall there and have made the sound their own. If there had to be a successor to R+, I’d say they qualify at the top end. Rene is a top notch singer with the gravel of Till’s voice and the nudging humour that comes with knowing what we expect out of that voice. They have an entire song about the trilled R. An unavoidable aspect of German music, as well as Till’s trademark.

I do so love metafiction.

Oh yeah they’re very faithful to the ‘machine’ aspect of their image. I’d love a water canister like that myself. Does this count as dieselpunk?

Towards the end of the set René crowdsurfs. He's really polite about it, asking if he can ‘swim above’ us; like yes holy fuck yes René do whatever you want??? omf???? He jumps from center and is surfed towards the right hand side. I help him past me for the first few seconds and take advantage of the crowd distribution to edge my way ahead a bit, settling myself into the group that I’ll be seeing Oomph! next to. Also that bundle of blue bills I posted up at the start? Heldmaschine loot. Rene hurls them into the crowd at random intervals. I suck at catching anything airborne, so I thought I had no chance getting any, but then a whole bundle bounces off my hat and drops to the ground. No one challenges me going for it, because it looks like a single bill and dozens more are raining down; upon picking it up, however, I see it’s multiple bills stuck together. Moisture, friction, van der Waals forces, I don’t know. It wasn’t until after the show I realized I was 900 Heldmaschinemarks richer - I thought it was at most four bills or five! And that is the end of my loot story.

       René: Thank you, London!

As is the end of my Heldmaschine story. Drumsticks are hurled into the crowd and the opener is over. We cheer them as they exit and attempt to coax them back onto the stage, but no go. God damn can they play their own full length concert after Oomph! plays theirs. After the concert, I started following their YT and their website and making notes of when I might see them next.

Main Act: Oomph! [9PM - 11PM] 

There is an half-hour interval. A little more detail about the group I edged into.

I mentioned I made it to third row. At first, I was nervous as to what this might mean. This was the first time I missed out on front row for a show I’ve been to, and I've experienced some crowds I know would have absolutely fucked me up if there hadn’t been barriers to cling onto. But the audience for this night were probably the politest lot I’ve ever encountered, save for the one at the 2012 Ansan Valley Festival in Korea. I’m 99% sure this was cultural in nature: Korean festival etiquette (at least back then) was for a crowd to gather when a band is playing, then disperse between sets, allowing whoever’s playing next to set up and for the crowd to make use of the entertainment/food facilities in the area. Sticking to the front row for hours just to see the headliner isn’t common. Nine Inch Nails headlined in Ansan Valley that year, and it wasn’t until two hours before they came on that a crowd began to wait on standby. Can you imagine the crowd at Download / Reading / Glastonbury etc. collectively fucking around until two hours before the headliner? I’m getting off topic. There was a group of four girls and one guy ahead and beside me; one girl and the guy was front row, two girls (one with long dark hair, low voice, very beautiful, carrying a plush) behind them, and me and another girl behind them. They are going wild over Heldmaschine ("who are those guys?!") as well, and I am invited into their conversation when plush girl notices me and says hello. "They are so good! What the fuck!" She hollers over the crowd, reaching out to touch the back of my hand. "The last time I saw Oomph! their opener was kind of shit, it was a different band then. I didn't expect them to be so good!"

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"Like a week ago!" (i.e. while they were in Germany.)

This girl is also the one to confirm to me that this is Oomph!'s first show in the UK. "They've been here for holidays but this is their first time performing here ever. No one expected this I think, I wasn't expecting so many people, (to the surrounding girls) and they all told me they never knew any other Oomph! fans around." She holds up her arm. A gold wristband gleams on it, which was the highest possible tier of the VIP tickets. "The last time I saw them we took the Eurostar up and got back on it as soon as the show was done, right. (Upon me asking if she went to the meet and greet.) Yeah I did, they couldn't believe we came all that way, they asked if we were kidding when we told them where we were from and we were like, no! We came to see you! Because we love you!"

I look back behind us. I can't see where the crowd ends. The fact that I am not a tall woman has little bearing on this fact. "The place is packed. Oh my God. Were they expecting this many people?"

"Not at all! They're going to be so fucking happy when they see how full it is!"

Yet despite being well and thoroughly packed into this small venue, the crowd was well behaved without being dead. No one did elbow shoves, people helped others in distress, and everyone knew what lines and gestures were being demanded of us with each song. In retrospect, I think the girl was right in that there was a tangible sense we had to impress Oomph! every minute they were onstage. We had to charm them into coming back soon! We can’t wait another thirty years, y’all! As I'm about to say something else the stage falls into darkness. There is a second's silence, then a thunderous roar and applause. Stage crew are in place; Flux and Crap enter one after the other; Dero himself makes an appearance in all his leather-clad glory.

It has begun.

01. TRRR-FCKN-HTLR (Ritual)

Hoo boy this is the most awkward start for non-Oomph! fans.

In recent years I’ve mostly had followers who aren’t familiar with Oomph! or Neue Deutsche Härte. If you're acquainted with the genre you already know the deal, but for the people who aren’t and happen to be reading this: this is not a white supremacist song and Oomph! are not a white supremacist band. It’d have been super fucking dangerous for me to exist in this crowd if they were, because I am visibly not a white person. The song itself is a mockery of Nazism and white supremacy, as the lyrics will show. But I digress.

Literally the first thing I note after the music begins is how Dero doesn’t, like. Seem to need to breathe. At all. He begins the set jumping and leaping all over the place, and is not even slightly out of breath. The only artist I’ve seen pulling off higher leaps and bounds is probably The Bloody Beetroots, and Sir Bob was on screamo mode 70% of the time and completely instrumental for the rest. He remains extremely impressive, but his stamina is expressed in a different way to singing multiple genres for two hours, with banter in between, with frequent bilingual switches. Dero’s English is excellent. As is his eyeliner. When I saw the most recent promo image of the band I wasn’t sure about his hair (I’m big on the spiky hairstyle and very particular facial hair of the olden days) but then I saw him in person and such shallow doubts disappeared. Forgive me for ever doubting you, Dero. I cannot believe you are here.

02. We Will Rock You -> Labyrinth (Monster)

Yes, the Queen song. Same BPM. If you’re not an Oomph! fan you might not know how ‘Labyrinth’ goes, but everyone knows the beat to ‘We Will Rock You’; I hope I can put words to it in a way you can hear what happened.

       Dero: We - will - we - will - rock you!

     Dero: Sing it!

     Audience: We - will - we - will - rock you!

     Dero: Louder!

     Audience: We - will - we - will - rock you!

     Dero: More! [Sweeps arms forwards.]

      Audience: We - will - we - will - rock you!

     Dero: [Looks pleased.]

     Dero: Links, rechts, geradeaus-

     Audience: [Goes nuts.]

Realizing that this is a Best of Oomph! concert, the crowd explodes. The girls around me are screaming. I am screaming. Dero hands us the reins before the first chorus and we sing the lines perfectly. And speaking of lines, Dero pulls off the transitions between falsetto (verses) and his usual voice (chorus) with ease; his vocals are extremely versatile. I really wonder where he was trained, or at least, what he did in a past life to be gifted with such a voice.

I’ve never seen Andreas smile in motion before. He’s such a stoic creature, or so I thought. Now I’ve seen him, I think I can count the minutes where he wasn’t smiling on my fingers!

Marry me.

03. Träumst Du? (GlaubeLiebeTod)

An already good concert starts to get extremely good.

‘Träumst Du?’ is one of my absolute favourite songs from this band. I prefer the version with Marta Jandová, but Dero-only is excellent too. I filmed this part and uploaded it on Tumblr a few days ago; a video is worth a thousand words, so I’ll make do with the link. What my iPhone SE does not do justice to in that video is how fucking smooth Dero’s vocals are live. The audio’s not the best, but as I said above, Dero’s voice never falters even between his jumping about or doing strange things. He maintains this through the entire concert. If I do as much as a load of laundry I get tired. I’d kill for a tenth of his stamina.

       Dero: Make some fucking noise!

Oomph! are big on audience participation, as well as banter in-between songs. From other reviews I’ve read, this is partly rehearsed, but it’d have to differ between countries and the history the band has with each city they play in. With London, it’s an absolute first. The band seemed very surprised at how many British fans knew all the lyrics.

       Dero: Oh komm doch-

     Audience: - Bitte, bitte, bitte, noch ein bisschen näher!

     Dero + Audience: Oh, komm doch, bitte, bitte, bitte, noch ein bisschen näher!

It’s the least we can do.

04. Jetzt Oder Nie (XXV)

I think this is the second song Dero introduced by name. I don’t have a video of the intro, I just remember the raw feels of him announcing it and me absofuckinglutely losing my shit because this is my favourite song from XXV. Really giving us the Greatest Hits treatment, Dero. We love it. We love you.

He also calls the sign of the horn ‘devil’s fists’, as pointed out by @dolldirector, which I think he mentioned here first. “Your fists!” Dero cried during the chorus, and indeed, we gave him the 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘.

05. Der Neue Gott (Oomph!)

This was a very interesting one. This song was on their first album and I wasn’t so big on it before, for reasons I never quite understood until after the concert. Flux and Crap move back to the keyboards, in a reflection of Oomph!’s old electronic-based roots, and Dero moves to the drums.

Dero has a really long tongue.

As expected of their earliest songs, the audience is a little quieter and slower to join in, but by the end we are fully rocking out. As the song goes on I understand why I wasn’t so big on it before: it’s one of those songs that age like fine wine. ‘Der Neue Gott’ on Oomph! was sung when Dero was about twenty-two years old, and imo he has a much lighter voice in the track which doesn’t quite suit the gravitas of the song. (Link here for comparison purposes.) Fast forward to 2019, Dero’s voice has matured significantly and now possesses the depth and curious devilishness ‘Der Neue Gott’ requires. I’ve just looked up recent live versions of this song and the more recent they are, the better they seem to be. I’ve been listening to my video of this on loop while writing this review so far because it’s just so damn good, but this is definitely not an experience I could have had unless I attended the live.

It’s one of the reasons why I’m so grateful they came here at last.

06. Mein Herz (Oomph!)

After ‘Der Neue Gott’ is over Dero soaks up the applause. He does an abrupt drum solo for about ten seconds before taking up the mic again:

       Dero: And it goes even older.

     Dero: This is our very first song that we’ve ever written. For Oomph!, it was 1989.

     Dero: [Pause, then starts chuckling.]

     Dero: That means... we’re old. We’re... old as fuck.

Much laughter. This is one of the few speeches I remember him making off by heart; the rest are transcriptions from my videos, but this was significant. I knew to anticipate what was coming, because someone on here saw them before I did and wrote about this moment.

       Dero: Who here was born in 1989?

     Audience: [Cheers from certain parts, including plush girl.]

     Dero: Welcome, you dirty old scumbags!*

     Audience: [Same cheers, but louder.]

     Dero: Who is younger?

     Audience: [Cheers, this time including tumblr user magistralucis.]**

     Dero: That’s nice***, because that means we unite the generations.

     Dero: Celebrate yourselves!

     Audience: 💖😭😭✨😭😭✨😭😭✨💖

     Dero: [With the sign of the horns] I said! Cele! Brate! Your! Selves!

     Audience: 😍😍✨💖😍😍✨💖😍😍✨💖

     Dero: Thanks a lot! Here’s ‘Mein Herz’.

(* I wish I could share with you how he pronounced ‘scumbags’. It was beautiful. ** The cheers were louder here. Definitely for front row and those close to it. Maybe YMMV if you were elsewhere. *** Literally pronounced ‘noice’, full on Northern style.)

I love him. I. I just. I love him. Can you tell.

‘Mein Herz’ is not a complicated song. The audience participation is very high, perhaps because there’s no word salad and it has a good beat. Everyone is in sync. Dero goes nuts on the drums again. Lots of very interesting faces from Dero that I wish I could have saved, except I was too busy rocking out. Did I mention Dero has a really long tongue? We’re about a third of the way into the main show and I am loving it, the girl in front of me is loving it, her plushie is loving it, we’re all going buck wild. It’ll only get wilder from here. I haven’t been in the metalhead scene for some time and I never thought this would be how I returned (never mind Oomph! ever playing in the UK HOLY FUCKING HELL) but I’m sure taki-

       Duolingo: Your 177-day streak is in danger!

... What the shit?

07. Das Weiße Licht (Plastik)

I missed half of this song because I got distracted by the above. Duo for the love of God get a spouse. I did my lessons! I did them before the concert to prevent this happening! I have Streak Freeze enabled to stop you nagging me about this precise thing!

Anyway. It was a sync problem, corrected itself when I left the concert. But for the time being I decide there’s nothing I can do and return to the song, although not very well, because I only remember Dero doing a full-body wave for like two measures during the chorus. This isn’t the liveliest track Oomph! have produced. If I had to take a break, it was just as well it was here. Still kind of a let down not to have anything for this song, especially after ‘Mein Herz’.

That fucking owl.

09. Tausend Mann und Ein Befehl (Ritual)

       Dero: I’ll ask you to help me out a bit during the next, uh, chorus of this song.

Andreas changes guitars. A nice red number.

       Dero: It’s pretty easy. It’s three German words which mean ‘no more war’-

     Audience: YeeeeAAAHHHH

You can tell who has been paying attention to Ritual. A good way of announcing a next song without saying what the next song is.

       Dero: And it goes like this:

     Dero: [Metal scream] Nie! Wie-der! Krieg!

Oh its heavenly.

‘Tausend Mann und Ein Befehl’ is the opening song of Ritual. I remember feeling a lot of feelings when I first began listening to it, and I distinctly remember neither of them being certainty or even amazement. Oomph!’s appeal for me has always been their willingness to experiment - the difference between Monster and Des Wahnsinns Fette Beute is staggering - so Ritual felt like... I guess, a return to what was familiar? If that makes any sense? I didn’t really know what I should expect, except maybe something like the harder tracks of GlaubeLiebeTod, and I’m not big on those. Then within a minute the ‘denk nicht! nach! reih dich! ein! du musst ge! hor! sam! sein! vor! wärts! im gleich! schritt! marsch!’ bit kicked in and past magistralucis was proved a fool yet again. Out of all the songs I hoped Oomph! would play live from Ritual, this was the third. I was not disappointed. And being involved in it, being part of a mass-chanted ‘nie wieder Krieg’ only made me sink harder in love with this song.

       Dero: You speak perfect German!

10. Niemand (Single)

I’m not familiar with this one. I’m very poor with Oomph! single-only releases, which ‘Niemand’ was one of. The only thing I can say about it after attending this show is that I will forever associate it with Dero crowdsurfing. No photos or videos because I had to put my phone away. You know. To let him surf on us.

Like René earlier, Dero leaps into the center and is ultimately carried back towards stage right. Unlike René, Dero doesn’t actually announce that he’s going to jump until his posture gives it away. He passes right over me and it’s... not a smooth start, but that’s most of my experiences with crowdsurfing. I always crouch down out of instinct and try to hold on with arm strength alone and that’s not how you pass on surfers fuck shit

The crowd mills behind me and shoves me about as Dero passes over. My hat is scrunched, but the girl behind is actually knocked flat off her feet - the worst of my fears generally in a crowded place. Before she can fall down, everyone behind her helps her back up, and she regains her balance as Dero finishes his ride. “Are you okay?” I ask.

“Yeah.” She says. “His boot caught my shoulder!”

11. Kein Liebeslied (Ritual)

Let me talk about Flux for a bit.

As I said before, I’m standing slightly right of center. I have the best view of Dero and Crap. I’m ashamed to say it wasn’t until halfway through the show I tried to lean over to focus on Flux specifically. I love Andreas and his smiles but holy shit Flux’s stage manners are something else entirely.

He’s so... adoring. The way he focuses upon and sings to individual people reminds me of how Paul Landers treats the audience in front of him, if you will permit the comparison. If you’re an R+ fan, you may or may not already know that Paul said he tends to ‘choose’ a person to sing to in any given concert. It was like that. If you were at the show and you were on the side Flux was taking care of, I envy you greatly. He seemed incredible, absolutely overflowing with joy and raw presence.

As the title gives away, ‘Kein Liebeslied’ is not a love song. It’s not even technically a song about a thing, more the misery stemming from the lack of things. Dero, for his part, is very careful to reassure us beforehand that he does love us very, very much, so no hurt feelings there. Not to mention...

12. Auf Kurs (Monster)

... that there is an actual love song to follow the one that’s not a love song. Again, the video of this says it better than I can. I’ll be uploading it and linking it here later; you’ll also find it in the ‘my videos’ tag. As of posting this review I have been caught by the Tumblr video limit, so it’ll be up soon.

This is the first ‘raised concert lighter’ moment I’ve ever seen. Serial front row and all; I never got to see anyone ahead or adjacent to me with a lighter until this point. I will treasure it.

13. Fieber (Plastik) -> Das Letzte Streicholz (GlaubeLiebeTod)

@simbelmynetea tells me that back in 2008 Dero took the fingers of those in front row into his mouth when he played ‘Fieber’. That did NOT happen here unfortunately holy fuckles I would have died. The ‘Fieber’ of 19th March 2019 was an acoustic rendition, seguing into ‘Das Letzte Streicholz’. I never knew I could love the latter more than I already did (tickles a very personal aspect of my background), but Dero belting out ‘ich hoffe, dass wir uns - nie! wie! der! sehen!’ convinced me otherwise. A song infinitely better live than on the album.

Also Dero’s moments of personal bizzarity reached a climax in ‘Fieber’. In accordance to the lyrics, he did stick his fingers down his own throat, and he did mime his throat being slit with the drumstick. I wish I’d videoed it but a photo will have to do.

14. Gott ist ein Popstar (GlaubeLiebeTod)

Nothing like evil laughter during prechorus to spice up your blasphemy.

There was a girl behind me who, over the concert, was singing the German lyrics to everything perfectly. She prays during this number, during the recital of the Lord’s Prayer and its bastardization in the verses. I cannot think of a better way to react to this song, or rather, how Dero treats it: ‘Gott ist ein Popstar’ requires Dero to make about three to four different changes in vocal tone, ranging from low chanting to screamo, and he pulls them all off perfectly. What can you say to that, if not an amen?

15. Gekreuzigt (Unrein + Single)

What else could follow up on the Christian theme better.

Another song infinitely better live than recorded. Every time I’ve listened to ‘Gekreuzigt’ it’s been for a live version, so I’m probably biased. I’ve mentioned Dero has a really long tongue, yes? Dero does a mixed version of this live with the smooth vocal technique of ‘Gekreuzigt 2006′, rather than the screamed vocals of the original, but he does retain the ‘Kyrie Eleison’ after the chorus whereas in the 2006 version he has not. It’s the best of both worlds and I was very much hoping they would play this rendition in London. I was not let down.

(I could have sworn ‘Gekreuzigt’ was a single, plus a 2006 remake. I just had to look this up, and it was released as multiple singles in multiple versions - but came first in Unrein. hohmygod I’m not as up to date as I thought have Oomph! played anything else from Unrein recently anyway???)

16. Alles Aus Liebe (XXV)

I lost my video of this because the man on the left bumped into me two minutes in lahsjhssjhahdhshhhvhfh fuck my life. Ashamed to say I remember very little of ‘Alles Aus Liebe’ except for Dero thumping on the drums during the climax. Nobody seems to have filmed this part of the London performance, so I can’t even look up a video for reference!

But I did capture an excellent décalcomanie of Dero and Crap.

17. Im Namen des Vaters (Ritual)

       Dero: If it would be possible, I would clone all of you!

To my understanding, ‘if I was able to [x], I would do [y] to [audience present]’ is a classic Dero formula during shows, e.g. ‘If I would have ten tons of Viagra I would fuck you all’. The above quote has the bonus of being entirely relevant to what comes after, which is a song superficially about the militarization of clones.

I’ll be honest. I have no idea what to make of the music video to this. Oomph! music videos are all puzzling to me (save for that brief period during GlaubeLiebeTod and Monster where a few helpfully made sense) and the Ritual videos are no exception. Maybe in line with the album, it’s a loose satire about the rise in alt-right ideological indoctrination. It’s just that Dero in a lab outfit is strictly an aesthetic reserved for the video of ‘Brennende Liebe’ for me.

I do know, however, that Flux was feeling it. Note him dancing around. I am so jealous of all you Flux havers.

18. Jede Reise Hat Ein Ende (XXV)

Oomph! we love you and you can do whatever you want with us but this is a hell of a song to put in this place in the concert. Because we are not close to the end. At all. I am beginning to give up hope that I’ll hear ‘Trümmerkinder’ or ‘Europa’ from Ritual, but I’m still far from protesting. I am thoroughly wedged in second row now, beside the girl with long dark hair and the plush, and we are sharing bleary smiles every time our eyes meet. Crap moves to the keyboards while Flux stays in place. Dero gives us another extra spicy drum solo.

19. Kleinstadtboy (Des Wahnsinns Fette Beute)

HOLD THE FUCK UP THIS WAS THE ONLY FUCKING SONG FROM DES WAHNSINNS FETTE BEUTE ALL NIGHT AND I DIDN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE IT UNTIL HALFWAY INTO THE FIRST CHORUS HOW

Other than the lack of certain songs in Ritual I wanted to see live, this is the only other lack I thought was significant. Not enough songs from Des Wahnsinns! I love that album! That album is incredible! A girl in front of me throughout the show was wearing a shirt with lyrics from ‘Seemannsrose’ on it, which only made me miss it more. I’d have died for that one or ‘Zwei Schritte Vor’ live but I imagine Oomph! spent all their Des Wahnsinns playing tokens in Germany and Russia years ago, not that I’m wistful or anything but that wasn’t to be, so ‘Kleinstadtboy’ it is. The older I get, the more relevant this song becomes every year, or so it seems.

'Wein ruhig, harter Mann... Schrei ruhig, harter Mann... Wein ruhig, harter Mann - schrei ruhig...'

Dero’s voice is absolutely killer in that last part. Also he keeps spin-jumping (?) mid-stage during this for some reason. The lighting is a most delectable pink. Excellent lighting to hump his bandmates in. Unfortunately I have no video, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

20. Sandmann (Monster)

I knew this song was coming because, again, someone who saw Oomph! before me wrote about it. Knowing that it’d come wasn’t the same as hearing the heartbreaking way Dero sang the chorus (from the ‘la-le-lu / nur der Mann im Mond schaut zu‘ part, to be specific), or... how Flux would spend most of this song hopping in place.

He’s... he’s so cute, god damn it. Andreas for the love of God I would kill to see you bop more.

21. Augen Auf! (Wahrheit Oder Pflicht)

       Audience + Dero: ECKSTEIN ECKSTEIN ALLES MUSS VERSTECKT SEIN

I have no words worthy to describe this.

Not to sound overly nostalgic, but I have been watching my video of this several times a day since the concert happened. At this point in the review - we are nearing the end - I reiterate once again that words really do not do justice for most of what happened in this show, despite my best attempts. I've uploaded videos for the highlights to support my point. But 'Augen Auf!', the final song of their main set and the showstopper moment, really takes the cake. Only a video will do it justice, and so I link it here.

You see that Dero has pulled out all ear protection. He wants to hear us loud and clear. He wants to see us off in the height of glory. You can also see during the main verses that he's doing his Strange Dero Things, but directed towards people in the front row; his panting after the word 'Atem' was directed to the girl wearing the 'Seemannsrose' shirt in front of me. By the end of the show she was weeping with joy. Have I ever mentioned Dero has a really long tongue? (1.46min~ for the record.) We get to see it the most during 'Augen Auf!' than in any other song, to my recollection. We don't want it to end. The song, I mean, but also kind of the tongue thing. Probably.

Then it's over. Dero sinks down, then straightens up again with a grin, soaking in all the applause for a while.

       Dero: Let's hear the cheers from the ladies!

     Dero: Let's hear the cheers from the gentlemen!

     Dero: The girls!

     Dero: The boys!

     Dero: And everyone who identifies as another!

And that was the most important moment of all: DERO GOI SAID NON-BINARY RIGHTS. He walks over to stage right. Peels off the plastic from the water bottles that had been readied for them all evening. Before they exit the stage, he and Flux and Crap hurl water bottles into the crowd, one by one. They are full 500ml bottles with the fucking lid on, which just speaks volumes about their generosity and their desire to see us hydrated. (This was also one of those shows with security passing out plastic cups of water throughout.) I didn't reach for one because I would 99% have fucked up the catch and I was kind of afraid of being hit with the full force of a bottle. Being able to see Andreas's golden smile up close was prize enough.

Encore: Mein Schatz (GlaubeLiebeTod)

They have left. Stage darkens. The audience is far from satisfied, but we collectively possess the canny air of those who know more is coming. I defer to the plush girl on my instincts: "Yes, there's an encore," she confirms, in time for Oomph! to return to the stage amidst more cheers.

       Dero: Do you want one more?

     Audience: YEEESSSSSS 😰😰😰😰😰

     Dero: Do you want two more!

     Audience: YEEEESSSSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭

     Dero: ... Thank God.

Then, uh...

       Dero: M e e e e ii i nn n n Sch a a a  t  z zzzzz

... I... admittedly wasn't big on Dero's LOTR fanfiction before, but maybe I should reconsider.

Encore: Als Wars Das Letzte Mal (XXV)

This is it. The very absolutely final song of the concert. Unlike 'Jede Reise Hat Ein Ende', it's obvious this song is their final bow; reflecting upon the lyrics, it almost feels written exactly for that purpose.

Küss mich, als wär's das letzte Mal Als wär's für immer...

Dero pulls out his ear protection again. "Let me hear you sing!" He cries before the final chorus, and makes as if to blow us a kiss.

Except he does, well. That. Oh, Dero. Dero, Dero, Dero. Never change.

They go out with an extended ending and applause, as well as an impromptu drum sequence from Dero and their session drummer. When the music halts, the first thing he does is to pick up two spare bottles of water from the stage, and carefully toss them into the audience. The musicians gather, and link arms across shoulders.

Take a bow, beloved ones. You were amazing.

And then, it's all over, this time for real. Their exit is a slow and poignant one, and as I look upon them I wonder where they're off to next, where they're going to take the VIPs for a drink (the highest tier reward) after all this, and when they might come back to this country. I wonder how changed the world will be when they next come. Forget thirty years. In a few months, the UK is either going to undergo a massive and fairly useless change, or cancel said change and sink back with their importance deflated. (The show took place 10 days before the original Brexit date. As of now that deadline is past and the new one is the 12th of April. This is going to be such a shitshow.)

The plush girl draws me into a hug and gives me a kiss on the cheek as the lights brighten. "One day I'll see you again," she promises, "probably the next time they come, hopefully soon." She has to be off now. She has places to be, and so are other VIPs, depending on what level they are. I hug and bid goodbye to every member of the group I was with, and head out of the venue. The night is cold and faintly drizzling, but plenty of people are going the same way as I am and the Northern Line is still running. I am in good hands. The trip back to King's Cross St. Pancras is uneventful. You have to keep an eye out when you wander London in the dark, of course, but I've located myself in an well-lit area with much traffic and I encounter nothing of significance. It's around half eleven when I get back to the hotel, and I am too pumped to sleep. I finally get to bed around one o'clock, after making an excited post about Dero Goi and non-binary rights, but before I close my eyes and dream I make sure to sink into my bed and play 120XP's worth of Duolingo just to make sure that damn owl won't kill me in my sleep I swear to fucking God.

What a night. What an experience. Thank you for reading this far, and if you were also there at the London concert, I hope your night was as wonderful as mine. Never has a venue of 800 people felt more like thousands, and yet so much like home. I will dwell pleasantly on the memories of this night for the next few months, I'm sure. My next major trip isn't until July, and that's also a return to my metalhead roots; I'll be seeing Rammstein at Milton Keynes, in Stadium MK. 30,000+ capacity, I heard.

I am so going to die.

But at least I got to see Oomph! in the flesh, this wonderful band created before I was even born, and I didn't have to wait out the full thirty years or even ten. Scratch that off my bucket list.