ummm dispatch angst thatās highkey inspired by @kilgarraara and their art
something something about flambae watching robert go for blonde blazer and invisigal over and over againā
even when visi doesnāt know the word ānoā, when she pushes herself onto him and robert ends up rattled in front of flambae. he has to be the one to comfort this stupid fucking bitchā
flambae thinks to himself.. and yet he tries to make the man laugh anyways.
even when blonde blazer gives robert that pitiful and sorry smileā flambae knows damn well that she knew what she was doing to robert.
and yet, here he was, watching robert talk to everyone who made themselves comfortable at his stupid flat.
seeing visi approach robert, flambae turned the fuck around. for someone who prided themselves on self redemption, he sure felt like shit watching the guy he liked dance with the same girl who gave him so much shit.
god. he felt fucking stupid.
he simply thought he had no chance. who fucking thought. he set himself up for this, flambae knew treating robert like shit wouldā
āhey, dr. donāt do shit.ā a playful voice cut through flambaeās thoughts as he looked up. messy hair, chipped ear, rumpled button up. biggest grin on his face.
āmecha bitch,ā flambae mirrored robertās smile. āsurprised you let me stay this long.ā he leaned against the counter, eying the man.
ācanāt a man relish in the company of his friends?ā and yāknow, that hurt flambae more than he wanted. instead of saying that, the man rolled his eyes.
āwhatever, whatād you want?ā flambae turned to robert, seeing the man put a hand on his hip with a sickly sweet grin.
āwell, looked lonely, think youāre up to dance?ā robert was blunt, straight to the point and god, as if flambae wasnāt running hot enoughā
his cheeks were on fire.
the ponytailed superhero barked out a laugh, trying to mask is anxiety with some form of humor before pointing at him.
āyou want me to dance with you?ā flambae cackled a little before reaching for his wrist. āsure mechabitch, if you can handle my moves.ā
calloused fingers wrapped around flambaeās wrist.
āwhatever, just fuckinā dance with me.ā
and how can flambae say no when he was finally a choice in robertāsā eyes?
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Sharp loud sound piercing through the fog of the unconsciousness.
Robert couldn't tell where exactly he was, he felt absent like his body wasn't completely his. He felt like he was slowly drowning, everything was kinda muted as he got thrown around between conscious and unconscious state.
"HhhaA-"
He gasped when reality suddenly hit him with wave of pain and overwhelming sensations. He forced his eyes open and tried to stand but found that he couldn't move an inch but the thing he was in could. The back of his head slammed into already broken panel behind him making his vision go black for a few long moments, he could feel piercing sound of alarm bouncing inside his skull.
Robert tried taking a few long breaths but they came up like a quick deep gasps for air. His vision cleared but he had to narrow his eyes to see as red was only thing filling his vision.
Mechaman could feel his heart thumping, it felt like muscle was beating in his head instead of the chest, all breathes came out raspy and desperate. His body felt restricted, wet and sticky but Robert didn't bother to check what exactly it was, his pupils jumped between the still working screens trying to find out what was happening..
SLAM- CRACK crack... CRUSH
Metal cage around him shifted again before something heavy landed on top of it. Man held his breath seeing metal bend under the weight. After a few moments hero managed a shaky exhale, trying to stay silent as if smallest sound would turn his cage into a coffin.
But was that really a cage?
Robert took slow shaky breath through his (most likely broken) nose as he tried to make sense of the situation. Where he was? Why couldn't he move? Why he was thrown around like a ball on soccer field? And where's the Z team. Wait. Z team? Since when do YOU have a team? Failure. You should be able to handle it on your own.
Alone. Yes. He's a Mechaman. He's a hero. And he calls himself a HERO?! He will find a way out. He will. There's people in danger and he couldn't just lay here and do nothing- You can't do anything? What kind of hero are you if you can't even save yourself???
Robert tried moving his hands under the belts that held him in the seat(maybe the only mostly intact thing in the suit). He glanced down seeing his digits press against the bind even though he couldn't feel his fingers. He took a shaky breath trying to find an opening between the belts.
At some point of time few clicks and cracks sounded before the cockpit he was in was filled with faint crisp metallic scent. Oxygen... Well at least he won't suffocate although it would've been more merciful than death of starvation or being crashed by whatever Mechasuit was trapped under.
It felt like he was here for days... After some struggle or remaining energy drained as well as adrenaline, leaving him bound in his suit unable to do anything but breathe and think, all while trying to ignore immense pain. All attempts to dissociate were shattered by sparks from the tech, creaks of metal or the sound of his own heart hammering against his ribcage.
His mouth felt like a desert, his eyes burned from all the red lighting inside the suit, he kept hearing ringing even though alarms died down ages ago... The faint crisp smell of oxygen was overpowered by metallic scent of his blood and sweat.
After a while red emergency lights started blinking and slowly one after another they turned off leaving him in complete darkness. He couldn't see anything anymore, the only thing he felt was pressure on his body and pain....
He desperately darted between topics trying to distract himself from pain but it all eventually lead him back to the same questions and worries...
Why is it so quiet? What happened? Where's Z team help? Why nobody came to check and clean up whatever collapsed on top of him? How much time passed..?
Robert couldn't help but feel like he was laying in his coffin, going through torture to redeem himself before it'll all fade to nothing. Everything has been silent for days. Stimuli depravation was driving him insane...
He doesn't hide the fact that he's scared for the first time in years... What's the point of holding back if no one will see him break down?
Mechaman welcomes the feeling of futility as the hot tears slide down his face in his matted hair... He closes his eyes sensing the impending doom...
The body previously laying so peacefully in his bed sat up with sharp gasp, legs kicking the blanket off to the floor startling the small rotund chihuahua sleeping at his feet. The sound of barking seems to wake Robert out of his trans as he finally takes a breath and looks around the room.
Beef whines softly climbing into his lap and trying to lick Roberts face, man slowly puts his hand on the dog. After making sure dog was real Mechaman wraps his hands around the Beef, hugging him tightly as doggy barks and tries to lick his owner's face, small tail wagging uncontrollably.
Sounds. Finally the silence is over...
Robert couldn't help but sob hearing the commotion nearing the door..
He wasn't alone... Not in this universe.
_________________________________________________
I'm sorry for disappearing but I'm buried in preparations for upcoming exams and other troubles. I would post if i have inspiration and time (ā ā”ā Ā ā Ļā Ā ā ā”ā )
itās just a car park
(dedicated to lorna @capseycartwright because she is an angst queen and inspires me everyday to do and write better)
His chest felt cold. He couldnāt remember how long heās been standing in the empty car park for, maybe a few minutes? Eyes focused on the road where the blue car had long since driven down. He could still smell the exhaust. A noise was heard in his periphery but he couldnāt focus, all he felt was the whisper of lips that had caressed his cheek the night before. That couldnāt be it could it? Thereās no way even he, Robert Sugden, could mess his life up this badly. Yet sometimes he surprised even himself.Ā
āRob? Debbie said youād been here for hours, come inside.āĀ
Hours? He couldnāt remember. It had felt like seconds that Aaron got in that car and had driven away from him. It played in his mind on repeat. The man he loved, who he couldnāt imagine his life without anymore. Just gone. Had he really left him hours ago? Maybe heād thought if he stayed here Aaron would be back. Heād come back to him. Right? Wrong. He could feel a small tugging at his arm as he drew in a shaky breath. Everything felt slightly off balance until a sharp pain attacked his chest. Just like it had a couple of years ago. Only this time, no doctors could mend this one. This feeling of loneliness, heartache and fear. It scared him, being alone. Aaron wasnāt coming back. At least not anytime soon. Heād lost him. Heād finally done it. Heād ruined Aaron and himself in the process.Ā
āRob. Youāre scaring me now. Cāmon.āĀ
Robert exhaled. He could paste over the cracks, just for one more day. Then tomorrow he would call Nicola. Heād come down with an infectious bug or was taking holiday leave. Heād think of something. For once, he couldnāt even think about work. Heād just stay at home. Home? Where ever was home now? To think, 30 years old with nowhere to call home. No one. He could hear the pounding in his ears drowning out Vicās pleading whilst he shrugged off her persistent tugging. His heart was thumping as though it were going to beat right out of his chest. As if there was a leakage and it was working five times as hard to keep his tall body upright.Ā
āPlease. Letās get out of here Robert.āĀ
Then suddenly it all stopped. He felt nothing but that cold, ice spread through his chest as he shook his head slightly.Ā
Angsty, post break-up fic because Robert deserves some support in his life.
Robert/Diane
Inspired by my ultimate Robert angst song.
Dedicated to @wycombewanderer, who worries about Robert as much as I do!
-
Diane has barely reached the bar of the Woolpack before sheās accosted by a harassed looking Victoria.
āGreat, just the person I need, can you do me a favour?ā
āHi love, Iām great thanks. The cruise was lovely.ā Diane replies.
āIām sorry, itās just been one of them days.ā Vic sighs and rubs her temple like she always does when sheās stressed.
āWhat can I do then?ā Diane asks.
āI need you to go find Robert for me, heās stormed off in a stateā¦ I would go myself but Iām stuck behind the bar, and Iām pretty sure heād refuse to talk to me anyway.ā
āWhatās happened now? Has he heard from Aaron?ā
āNah. But he was in here earlier getting trollied. Again.ā Victoria says, before she leans further over the bar and lowers her voice. āHe got into an argument with Rebecca, then Ross got involved, and itās only because Pete was here that neither of them have black eyes right now.ā
Diane follows her gaze, and spots Rebecca sitting in a booth with Chrissie and Lawrence, heads together and talking quietly.
āWhereās he gone now then?ā Diane asks
āNo idea.ā Victoria rubs at her temple again. āI know heās prone to kicking off, but he really seemed a mess tonight, more so than usual. Iām worried about him Diane.ā
āDonāt worry, Iāll go look for him.ā Diane reassures her, hitches her handbag further up onto her shoulder and heads back out of the pub.
It takes her a while to find Robert. Heās not in any of the places she expected ā the Mill, the scrapyard, Vicās cottage ā she even sticks her head into the B&B in case Doug had seen him, with no luck.
Just as sheās about to give up looking, Diane realises there is one place she hasnāt checked. Itās not somewhere Robert goes often, but if he is in as much of a state as Victoria seems to think, then he might go there.
Diane spots him from the gate in the early evening dusk, his blond hair a stark contrast to the bleakness of the dry grass and the grey headstones. Heās sat cross-legged on the ground, apparently not caring about the dry dirt leaving marks on his jeans, and he has half a bottle of whiskey in his hand, which he swigs from with alarming regularity.
He either doesnāt notice her walking up behind him, or heās point blank ignoring her, either way itās left to Diane to break the silence.
āIām pretty sure your mam wouldnāt approve of you necking that booze like thereās no tomorrow.ā Diane tells Robert decisively, as she pulls off her jacket to lay it on the ground next to him, using it to kneel on.
Robert sighs, his tired, bloodshot eyes fixed on Sarahās engraved name, and he takes another swig from his bottle before speaking
āYeah? Well just add it to the long list of things about me that sheād be disappointed in.ā His voice sounds bitter and hollow.
āThatās not tr-ā
āYeah, it is. You even said it yourself, a few months back, remember?ā Robert cuts across her before she can argue with him.
āI already told you that I didnāt mean that, and anyway thatās not what this is about, is it?ā Diane says, realising that Robert is trying to deflect the attention away from himself. āThe is about Aaron.ā
She sees the way Robert winces, like that name alone is enough to cause him a whiplash of pain. He takes an even longer drink from the bottle, and Diane yearns to yank the disgusting stuff off him, but she knows that it would just wind him up more.
Itās quiet for a minute or two, before Robert speaks again.
āDo you think she would hate me?ā He asks, his voice small, fragile, and so unlike his usual self that Diane feels tears begin to prick behind her eyes.
āNo. Never.ā She tells him firmly. āLookā¦ā she pauses, treading carefully. Diane knows what she wants to say, but she also realises that sheās on risky ground and that this could easily either make things better, or make him close off and self-destruct completely.
āā¦I know Iām not your mam, and that I never will be, but right now Iām the closest thing youāve got, so start talking.ā
Diane doesnāt know what to expect from Robert in reply, whether heāll close off, or shout, or ignore her completely. But she certainly doesnāt expect Robert to turn to face her for the first time, look her in the eye for a few seconds, then promptly burst into tears.
Sheās slow to react, because sheās never seen Robert like this before. Heās never been the crying type, and she can probably count on one hand the amount of times heās shown any sign of upset at all.
But he is sure crying now, and not gently. Itās like a great dam has burst, his face is in his hands, his knees pulled up to his chest, and he is outright sobbing. Robertās normally large frame is curled in and heaving with short, sharp breaths.
Diane has no clue how to deal with this version of her stepson, so she just does what her mothersā instinct tells her. She pulls his shaking body into her arms, strokes the soft hair at the back of his head and murmurs soft reassurances in his ear.
āItās alrightā¦Iāve got you, just let it all out! Youāll feel better after, I promise. Youāll be ok sweetheartā¦ā
āsorryā¦ sorryā¦ Iām so sorry.ā Robert hiccups in between crying, and Diane doesnāt know whether heās talking to her, to Sarah, to Aaron, or to all of them. She doubts if he even knows, so she just kisses the top of his head and rocks him gently.
When Robertās sobs subside, sheāll help him to his feet and take him back to the B&B. Heāll try to weakly argue about going back to the Mill, but she wonāt let him. Instead she insists he stay with her, where she can keep an eye on him and ply him with hot, sweet tea until he falls asleep under a blanket on her sofa, utterly exhausted.
