Like, yeah, Ilya gave up his spot on a successful team and his chances of winning any trophies and his city to be closer to Shane, but he also gets to be part of Shane's family the way he dreamed of when they first come clean with Yuna and David, his new coach prioritises good relationships over discipline, and the Centaurs may suck at hockey but they're also genuinely friendly and they treat Harris as one of them despite his visible queerness. Over the course of that season, it becomes increasingly clear to Ilya that not only is hiding his bisexuality and his relationship with Shane not sustainable, it's not necessary. Two years ago, they couldn't imagine a reality in which making their relationship public wouldn't be catastrophic, but for Ilya, that has changed. He is surrounded by people who love him and who would have his back, and he's watching other people (especially Troy and Harris) have what he wants so desperately, and the idea of waiting for retirement becomes more and more of a prison to him.

Shane, meanwhile, spends the entire book slowly breaking under the pressure he's facing from all sides. Once the season starts, the first thing we learn about Shane's team is that they won the Cup last season, and that their coach casually slings homophobic language around in the locker room, and that Shane realises he barely even registers the background homophobia anymore because he's so used to it. Shane has led the Voyageurs to 3 Cup wins and they keep pushing him harder. He has friends on the team, sure, but he already didn't fit in because he's quiet, boring, doesn't really drink, and being out just added another layer to that. The Voyageurs only value him as one of the best players in the league and it's fine that he's gay only as long as he keeps scoring. He's rapidly developing an eating disorder because he is terrified of not performing at peak capacity, because he is trying to exert control over everything he possibly can to protect himself and his partner. He can't imagine a life where he isn't playing hockey, and he can't imagine a life where he gets to be in a public relationship with Ilya Rozanov and also gets to play hockey. In his mind, this is the best they can have until at the very least Ilya's citizenship is secure and that is the status quo he trying to protect, because in his eyes, the status quo is constantly under threat. From his perspective, the question isn't this or more, it's this or less.

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