lizzie the lobotomized

It’s only muscle memory to follow his instruction, gasping when you push it inside your tight walls.

“Good baby, work that finger in you, take your time.”

You give your home such lazy pumped with your fingers, thighs squeezing together as you keen, “Toji.”

Your older boyfriend’s hands grip the steering wheel, Adam’s Apple bobbing, “Now put another finger in, slow, yer’not rammin it in there.”

Tojis deep voice swirls I’m your mind, easing another finger into your tight heat. Fluttering while you imagine his thick digits opening you up- more— the way he’s have his shaft filling you up to the brim, hold your legs open while he bottoms out. You start to thrust your fingers inside you faster, eyes low and hiccuping on your own moans. But it’s not enough, not wide enough, fast enough. “Mmph- fuck!” You groan out.

“There’s your second issue kid,” Toji drawls out, eyes focused on the road, almost crashing once from the way your pretty moans fills his ears, “‘S never gonna be enough, think about what’s I’d do for ya, huh? How I’d make you take it, legs over my shoulders while I got my cock through alll those tight little ridges ‘f yours, till you’re shaking and crying. Nipples all hard beggin f’me to suck on ‘em— shit, bet they’re all perked up for me right now, want my tongue around em, lapping you up don’t you baby?”

“Uugh- Yeah,” You mewl, hips bucking into your hand, more slick water falling out of you.

“Course ya do angel,” his voice so so hypnotic, makes your insides tingle, “get em all wet, biting and kissing up your neck to your plump lips, squeeze on you— fuck, wont you spank it for me? Lemme hear it.” He groans.

You’re trembling, fingers coming down on your chubby clit, hard, just like Toji would. The wet plap, plap, plap of your sobbing pussy filling Tojis ears, your sticky string of juices down your pruned fingers. You’re chanting his name between curses, eyes squeezing together. The pace of your fingers sloppy as you grind into your hand.

“God she’s messy, all f’me yeah?” He shifts in his seat, pulsing cock throbbing as your moans only get louder, trying to relieve some of the tension but you’re only making it harder.

Your lips purse out, head burred in the pillows, you can practically feel his large hands on you, guiding you, filling you, pressing right against that spongy slot that makes your cream, you’re babbling. “aaah- bastard, asshole-“

“Looove the way you talk t’me puddin, keep goin.”

The older man can imagine how disheveled you’d look around him, sobbing and your skin all clammy in the moonlight, nails going down his back as he drills deep into you, hands gripping your hips so hard Thry bruise. His jaw clenches, “Needed your old man t’talk you through it didn’t you? Wanted me more than 7 inches deep inside you while fucked you all mean ‘nd rough—”

“Fuck, mmm- yes!” Your toes curl, that deep feeling in your stomach snapping apart when you cum all of your digits. You’re still dazed as you come down from the high, rolling over to the side Toji usually sleeps on.

“Come home soon Toj.” You speak softly, still panting, your tired eyes finally closing, and he hums. Something about only being ten minutes away. “I’ll ‘pologize proper… so bring somethin good for breakfast.”

“F’Course puddin.”

And there’s a comfortable beat of silence before Toji speaks, “Love you kid.”

And your voice is so sweet, melodic in his ears, you purr, “Love you too Toji.”

and you stay an extra hour, frustrated but willing to prove you were there to stay. A good nurse who knows how to do her job, man the fucked up ship you all call ‘the pitt.’ Letting your best friend know that she can just come, you’ll handle everything else later.

But it’s in real time that maybe you weren’t fit for this— when you see that small, oh-so familiar body being rushed in a gurney and into Truama two. A bloodied frog dropping to the floor as EMT are calling out orders to the nurses and doctors on stand by. Your body is buzzing, quickly picking up the item that belonged to your toddler, Nadia.

But it’s just coincidence maybe. That little baby, gushing out blood, that couldnt have been your kid, right? Not your one and only. Your precious little girl.

And you can only step back, arm shooting out to make sure the patients in the few chairs who are trying to see this- this spectacle of the aftermath of a car accident, letting the rest of the EMT come through without any issues. But then your bestfriend, Jamie, gets rolled through on a gurney, tears streaming her cheeks holding her bloodied arm, a few scrapes on her face. Her eyes lock onto yours widening when she sees you, crying even harder.

“I’m sorry [+], I’m sorry, it all happened so fast!” She chokes out, and you hand over the clipboard that was in your hand to one of the other nurses, quickly getting by her side as they take her to one of the won’t triage rooms.

“I had Nadia strapped in [+], I swear, but the car came out of no where, I tried to stop it but-“

You shake your head, “It’s okay, alright? You did the best you could, it’s not your fault.” You squeeze her hand hard so she knows, but your face can’t even contort into a fake smile, you can only feel your heart pounding, letting her go as you manage to take your heavy feet to triage 4.

It’s frantic in the room as you look through the glass, Abbot giving out orders to day shift who’s just coming in. Robby coming through the doors and slipping on a sterile gown and gloves. All you can hear is that frantic beeping from the cardiac monitor. Abbot gives you a glance, sucking in a weary breathe, he wouldn’t even know how to properly face you if he tried. Robby speaks, “Is there a reason [+], is watching from outside and not in here?”

Jack opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

Doctor Mohan shrugs her shoulders, eyes flicking to you and back to him, “I’m not sure-“

“Just- we had a talk earlier. Was a too harsh on her.” Jack cuts himself short, giving out a an order to one of the doctors then to Perlah who’s passing by him, “Perlah, if you could tell Nurse [+] she can go home?”

“Sure.”

It should be through after that, but your feet don’t move, they can’t move. A mumble of ‘no’ as you try to get another glimpse of your child, Perlah’s hand is trying to guide you away but something in you snaps, squeeze the frog in your hand, voice booming through the glass enough that they can hear you, “My fucking daughter is in there! I’m not fucking leaving her!”

You can feel it, the wave of eyes glancing to you to your child that’s oh so similar, curls in two braids with red and yellow bows, from the roundness of her cheeks, her lashes, and little doll face that screams, you, you, you. Only prompting everyone in the room to work faster, harder, to save your child’s life.

But who knows if it’ll be enough.

Your ears a shot, you can see them getting the defibrillator ready, Perlah finally getting you to move, letting you sit in one of the waiting rooms. Such stillness, you don’t know how much time has passed till you see multiple people from the PEDS running down the hall to the elevator. You don’t have the will to stand, back pressing to the chair behind you as you feel your shoulders tremble, heart still pounding so hard you can’t feel it in the depths of you.

Hesitant foot steps stop just before you, only closing your eyes.

What’s the point of asking ‘how is she’ when you know the answer.

Robby starts, “So she’s stable, got pierced through the abdomen with not only glass but ruptured by the impact of the car.”

“Everyone is PEDs is taking care of her, “Jack nods, “She’s in good hands, hopefully-“

“—Don’t give me that.” You hiss, bottom lip wobbling. You lick your lips, words coming out as soft as a whisper “It’s either they save or they don’t.”

It’s heavy, almost too heavy. Suffocating. All of it happening too fast. How do you go from singing your daughter to bed last night over the phone in the break room to— this. Contemplating if she’ll be able to survive all this or not. If you’ll be able to see her take breath one more time. You could almost hear her laughter as your thumbs brushed the stomach of the dirtied stuffed frog in your hands, that sweet smile she gave you one too many times you just couldn’t get enough of.

Had you not cared for her enough, prayed to whatever god enough, held her hand a little tighter, hugged her a little longer, put your eyes on her for a little longer instead of glancing away. Let your finger take through her curles as you detangled it for just a second more—

Jack sees you running circles in your mind, ryrs softening, “You have to try ‘nd stay positive-“

Your eyes squint, finally turning your head to look at him, “What for!?” You almost snarl. It’s all exploding inside you, “If- if you-“

And all you can think about is, if Jack Abbot had let you go, take your child at 6:30 from your best friends house like you always do after getting off at 6 o’clock- would your baby be fighting for her life right now?

It all hits you at once, a rush of your love for your daughter running through you that consumes every fiber inside you, a fear of that love having no place to go if your daughter, a fear of blaming Jack, of all people. The one you so deeply cared for and wanted to make proud despite what happened at work— the only things keeping you in tact- and if that were to- if Nadia were to—

Harsh sobs escaping your throat as you clutch your own scrubs for dear life. Shaking your head as your feet hit the tile floor running as far away from the situation as you can, tears dampening your face.

Your daughter’s froggy left slouched in the chair.

Toji knows he’s not fitting it all in tonight, maybe if he really wanted you fucked out and stupid. But it’s really a lesson this time, ‘how to use a man to make yourself feel good.’

Maybe that’s what’s really getting him off tonight, how pretty you look in the bathrooms warm hue, water droplets dripping down your skin, down your pretty nipples that’s brushing against his face, hips gyrating to fit his thick cock in your tight hole. Breaking through every ring of resistance of your cunt as you slowly bounce on him, gripping his broad shoulders so tight little moons are forming into his skin.

“Jiii, please-” you whine out, only managed to get half of him inside, but you know that feeling. Know what it feels like to have his strawberry cockhead knocking against every perfect spot inside you— no you needed it. You roll your hips once more, hiccuping as you gush around him more.

He shakes his head, hand gripping on your waist, jaw locked as he tries his best to contain himself, “Can take a little more, be a good girl f’me.”

You let out a groan of frustration, hips trembling as you bounce down faster, water slashing out of the tub and onto the tile floor. But it’s good, so fucking good the way the burn of his cock stretching you out with every inch your glistening pussy is taking. Filling your cunt like you’ve been dying for. How your ass smacks against Tojis thick thighs everytime you bunny hop on him.

“Look at you kid,” he drawls out, grunting hoarsely, “look pretty fuckin- shit Princess- fuckin your old man, aren’t you doll. All you had to do was come get me.”

Your teeth grinding against each other, pushing his back into the wall of the bath as tide him harder, “Mmm- shut up Toji, s-shut the fuck- nnngh!”

The fat weeping tip brushes against your g-spot, making you squeal out, hips going to leap up but Toji sits you back down on it. Rough and deep, your back arching, swiveling your hips to try to feel it again. Use him just the way he likes but you let out a pretty whine, salvating for more, Toji to take the lead.

You so adorably pout, “Toji- come on!”

“Nooo,” he chides, “you say it, tell me what you need.” His hands trail up and down your torso, dancing across your skin that’s got you all hot. Needy, wanting—

Your head tilts in defeat, hands going up his beefy biceps, “I- aaangh- need your help- Toj-“

“Need your help what?” His ears perk up, titling your head towards him.

You keen out, so melodically it almost turns the man to mush, “Daddy, please.”

It makes him all the more harder, hand wrapped behind the back of your neck, the other gripping your waists as he uses your hip to plow up into you. He’s relentless, making sure his cock is pressing against your sweet spot over and over with every brutal thrust. You moan into his mouth, letting the older man entangle his tongue with yours. Sinister smirk and biting your lip, “Course Dad’ll help you out.”

It’s sloppy and nasty, your sopping pussy sucking him up, the water you can feel inside you with every thrust, skin slapping against each other everytime he jackhammers inside you. The way the water shakes and waves everytime he grinds you down against him. Only letting out mewls and moans as he drills into your warm heat.

“This greedy fuckin pussy, grippin on me like this, heh- can your boyfriend handle all this sweetheart?” He teases, nibbling at your chest and down to your hardened areolas, “don’t think he can babydoll,” your walls clench around him, “you pooooor thing.”

Your fingers rake through his wet jet black hair, toes curling as Tojis mouth wrapping around your nipple to suck it. You’re feverish, eyes rolling into your skull, body bursting into ecstasy as your climax hits you. Toji groaning out your name as he manages to slip out in the knick of time, his cum spurting into ghr bath water.

Heavy panting fills the echoing bathroom, water dripping from the faucet.

Then you feel the tip of his cock, brush against your buzzing clit that makes you squirm, warning, “Toji!”

The older man runs his tip all over it, smearing his cum with yours, “Not gonna get soft on its own baby.”

He bends you forward just enough, your arms instinctively wrapping around his shoulders, chest to chest. Toji whispers in your ear, “Juust to your ma gets home, promise.”

One more round wouldn’t hurt anybody, least— not till the front door to the house opened 30 minutes later.

a/n: this giving me the buzzy feeling of the moans on Keep it Cool by Kelela.

You’d had your fair share of lovers and experienced more than a good deal of fun. With everyone in the past, climax came the same way, every single time: clitoral stimulation, and clitoral stimulation alone.

By this point in your life, you suspected your g-spot was probably just a figment of your imagination, no more real than Atlantis, Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.

That was, until, you met your boyfriend, Simon.

And things had only been official for a week.

You and him had fooled around a handful of times—made love, as he called it, and kissed and cuddled and occasionally dry-humped until the two of you were both panting, groaning messes—but all of this was new. Simon was still learning you, as you were him.

He finished between your tits. You came on his tongue. He fingered you to the point of tears, and you learned how to touch his sac just right to get him to blow his load in seconds. On this night in particular, you were fucking missionary, and holding hands while you did.

Lovesick puppies, Price would say. Neither one of you seemed able to unglue your lips or unlace your fingers or keep your hips from colliding again and again and again in frantic search of the other’s furthest depths. You were perfectly wrapped up, with no desire to move

Except, you needed to reach down between your bodies to actually get off. That was a minor detail.

You didn’t think the man above you would mind if you moved your touch from his, but then that grip tightened the second you tried pulling away.

“Keep it there, lovie. Like holding you like this,” he said.

You enjoyed it, too. It was intimate, and sweet, and with your hands pinned on either side of you, locked securely in his, you felt safe. You just couldn’t finish.

“But I…I need to come,” you whispered against him. You rolled your hips and felt his cock twitch inside you.

Simon grunted, then swallowed. Nodded slowly.

“Yeah. I’ll get you there. Feel this?”

He slid deeper for emphasis.

You didn’t.

You rarely did, or at least not in the way you figured you were supposed to get when something pressed there.

“I think…sort of, yeah,” you hedged your answer.

Don’t bruise his ego, don’t hurt his feelings.

This is all on me, Si, I promise it’s not you.

Cutting in over your thoughts, Simon moved swiftly. Took your hips in his big, strong hands, lifted up, and plunged his cock to the hilt. The girth of him was enough to knock the air out of your lungs, and you felt your walls stretch, sting, and weep sweet liquid warmth around that intrusion. You moaned.

“Better?” The man’s question was simple.

Before you could answer it, he was sliding a pillow underneath your backside. Sawing his long, thick, leaking cock in and out of you, he reached a new spot.

You made a face, feeling good from that but…strange.

Simon snatched your hands up again and planted them beside your head on the mattress. He thrusted steadily. He peppered kisses all over your face and your neck while the bed frame squeaked in time, and you had to dig your heels into his ass to ground yourself.

“Talk to me, baby. Can’t make it better if you don’t.”

“I—I know, I just can’t—”

At the same time, Simon tilted your hips slightly once more, and the tip of his cock kissed something soft and wet and dizzyingly pleasurable inside your body. A loud, embarrassing cry slipped out between your lips.

You wanted to clap a hand over your mouth, hating the way you’d just sounded, but your fingers were stuck to his. Simon grinned down at you, toothy and approving.

“Can’t do what, now, darlin’?”

The warm, bulbous head of his cock had found its mark, and he just kept prodding that spot, like it entertained him to do it. The fingers laced between your own constricted their grip even more, and Simon leaned down to kiss you while his cock carved a mind-numbing path. In between kisses, he praised you.

“That’s my girl. She’s likin’ it now, isn’t she?”

“Feel good when my cock hits that spot?”

“Your pussy’s fuckin’ soakin’ me, baby.”

But still, somehow, it just wasn’t quite enough.

Maybe you’d never found that place after all.

This was where most men gave up—after a few good minutes of fucking when their balls had gotten to be as swollen as stones and their bodies were aching for release, more often than not, they’d go off chasing their own high. That was when you usually started rubbing your clit, or waited for your partner to finish so they could get you off with their tongue or something.

You hated to feel like a burden, and you really despised the thought of being the reason your sweet Simon couldn’t get to orgasm. So you squirmed again.

Straining to reach down, to try and touch yourself, you whimpered, “Si, please, it just—it takes me too long—”

“Good thing we’ve got all night,” Simon replied bluntly.

Then, once again, he twisted your bodies like you were as soft and malleable as putty in his hands, and this time, he hitched one of your legs around his hip, high.

With one slow-rolling thrust and an audibly squelching sound, Simon’s cock stretched your hole to maximum capacity, and then a little more. Your juices leaked down his shaft, aiding the slide, and he stabbed in a few shallow strokes. Probing. Testing the waters, as if he were trying to find something hidden inside you.

You sucked in a breath. Simon’s gaze slid to yours.

“Let’s find that precious spot, lovie. Easy, now.”

Gently coaxing your body open, he drove a slow, measured pace. He split your cunt like it was the easiest thing in the world, delving within your wet, velvety heat to tease every contour and crevice of your pussy. His tip leaked precome. His balls glistened in your arousal and landed with the gentlest plap, plap, plaps while he explored your insides with his member.

It really was as simple as that, nothing more and nothing less than poking around. Having patience.

“S-Si,” you stammered, nose wrinkling slightly.

“What’s’at, baby? Got something to tell me?”

Like a teacher, almost, he pressed for more.

Like his cock was showing you something new about your body but he needed your help to tell him just how and where to find it, Simon took care to be kind. He smoothed a hand over the crown of your head and then cradled the back of it, one massive set of fingers splayed out against your skull and engulfing it wholly.

He still held onto your other hand tight.

Your cunt pulsed. Ached. Fluttered around him.

Stuffed to the brim, you had only to feel, and murmur:

“Higher.”

“Higher?”

“Um, to the…to the left.”

Simon tilted his hips left.

Yes.

That was just it. So close.

Almost…

Or, maybe…

“Maybe it just…isn’t there,” you huffed out, deflating. “Know you’re trying so hard, baby, but I think I can’t—”

Then Simon hit the same spot as before, only higher.

Just like you’d told him: to the left, and then…

“Oh, fuck,” you cursed. “Oh, fuckfuckfuck.”

The grin above you stretched even wider.

“There, lovie?” Simon goaded you on.

“Right there.” You nodded furiously.

A wave of pleasure swept through your limbs, from your core down to the soles of your feet. Your toes curled, and you squeaked, feeling Simon’s cock graze that soft, spongy, sensitive place—except he’d pushed in deeper. The sensation made your eyes roll back.

“Little dove doesn’t mind my pokin’ after all, huh?” Simon’s words were a tease, but you heard a strain in them, too. The second you were caught in the throes of real pleasure, your cunt must’ve clamped like a vice.

“Keep…keep pokin’, Si,” you choked out. “I like it.”

Your lover kept at it—poking from the inside.

The routine almost felt like losing your virginity all over again, together. Simon cradled your head, told you how good you were doing, how sweet you were for him, and you whimpered under his hold. Squirmed and clung to him for dear life, then kissed him feverishly.

Simon’s mouth was hard and hungry, his thrusts deep. His cock throbbed within the wet, clenching confines of your pussy, and he seemed to be going wild at the feeling. With the idea that he was driving you wild, too.

You realized as much when he whispered it to you.

“Could lose my bloody mind when you’re like this—” Another sharp, labored breath. Another shudder passing through his body when your insides squeezed. “—so why didn’t you talk? Ask for what you needed?”

Your voice was small. “Didn’t wanna be a bother.”

Your eyes were locked with Simon’s, and in his irises, you caught a shade of concern. It flared, hot as anything, then mixed with disbelief. Disappointment.

“Don’t be angry, Si, I—” you started, hurried.

“‘M’not.” Simon blinked. But he gritted his teeth, and he withdrew his cock until the head was bumping and teasing between your folds, then he shook his head. “It’s those fuckin’ pricks who should be sorry, yeah?”

The ones that you’d been with before.

You wanted to protest, insist that you were at least partly to blame, but you never got the opportunity.

Simon was back inside you in a blink.

Hitting that same spot again, and again, and again.

He grinned, the tic of a muscle in his jaw telling you that he was less amused this time around, but proud.

Vindicated.

“Well. It’s not like they’re ever gettin’ a chance in between these pretty legs again, are they, lovie?”

You nodded in agreement.

You smiled back at him, only to have that gentle curve falter a little when you felt Simon’s thrusts accelerate.

“Only thing that’s gonna touch this spot other’n my cock is my seed, splatterin’ all over your walls, right?”

When he gave a playful nip to your lower lip and squeezed your hand tighter, you knew that he meant it. The man had plunged so deep inside you that his pubic bone was now grinding against your skin, and the rest of him was buried. His balls, all full and warm and heavy with his release, rested firmly in your cleft.

And the steady, measured strokes of his cock landed with near-surgical precision on the G-spot you’d convinced yourself up until tonight didn’t exist.

Simon beamed. You were overcome with ecstasy.

“This it, lovie? This spot right ‘ere?” he cooed.

His cock bobbed against that gummy and indescribably dizzying place, causing your last moan to morph into something more akin to a shriek.

You nodded your head: “Y-Yes. Yes.”

“Feel good when I hit it?”

“Fucking perfect, Si.”

You sighed when the man bottomed out for what felt like the millionth time, and the pleasure never waned. He felt just as good now as he did when he first got in.

“Yeah? Gonna come on my cock then, pretty girl?”

“Yeah. I’m— I’m so close.”

“Go on then, love.”

And, shortly, you did.

Maybe three, four, five more stabs of his cock to your most precious, intimate place and you were unraveling beneath him, stars bursting in your line of vision. It seemed dramatic to say, but that was really what it came to—your mouth hanging open, eyes wide, gaze peering into Simon’s while he fucked you through the most intense orgasm of your life. You clung to him, and your walls spasmed again and again and again, milking the man’s release in the next few seconds. Simon shuddered and grit his teeth as he unloaded a thick, gooey load inside, dousing that spongy, body-numbing spot and then some. The two of you moaned in unison.

Your body was boneless, your head a hazy mess.

It took several seconds for your conscious mind to come back online fully, and when it did, Simon was leaning in again and planting kisses along your face.

“That’s my girl,” he murmured, breath fanning hot across your skin. “My perfect girl. You did so good.”

You smiled and caught his mouth for a proper kiss.

“Thank you,” you murmured against him.

Then Simon squeezed your hand—the one he’d been holding this entire time. He lifted it gently, like he was afraid too rough of a movement might split you in two.

He turned your wrist and kissed the back of your hand, eyes locked on yours and expression soft while he did.