#rob johnson

Originally uploaded: [January 13th, 2006]

Content type: Video transcription > intro note: This footage was recovered from a defunct video channel with no confirmed origin. The content appears initially staged as entertainment or exploration media. However, inconsistencies begin to appear almost immediately within early recordings. Viewer discretion is advised.

- - - [the image of a young, blonde girl fades into view as static sounds buzz softly. the static softens and dissappears as the audio and picture clears] > LISA: Is this thing on? How do I-

> AARON [off screen]: Yeah, we're rolling.

> LISA: Oh- shoot, you didn't tell me? It's fine- edit that out, edit that out.

[LISA clears her throat, adjusting her jacket slightly, before making direct eye contact with the camera]

> LISA: Hello!! My name is Lisa Fields, and I'm with my friends Rob Johnson, Alex Roney, and my brother Aar-

[Camera turns backwards suddenly, now facing the cameraman- a black-haired man with tired eyes and a mischievous grin.]

> ALEX: What's up, it's Alex, the coolest guy in the ca-

> LISA: Um- this is MY intro-

[LISA grabs the camera away from him, sprinting off]

> ALEX: Hey!!

[ALEX chases her, trying to steal back the camera. LISA laughs, running faster.]

> LISA: Aaron!! Aaron, help-

[AARON takes the camera, looking annoyed.]

> AARON: Guys- stop screwing around, we're trying to ghost hunt. 

> LISA: Nobody's gonna watch it anyway, come on! 

> AARON: Ignoring them. So- we are at Freddy Fazbear's pizzeria right now, which, if you don't know, has a lot of intense history.

> LISA: Oh my God, don't start the documentary voice again.

> AARON [ignoring her]: This is the sister building to another resturant of the same name where 7 children went missing at a birthday party. We're not at that one yet, this is going to be a series- hey!!

[LISA steals the camera back, looking very excited.]

> LISA: Leave it to the one who ACTUALLY did the research, Aaron! Anyway, yep, we are indeed at Freddy's. But this is the original- the one that started it all. Earlier versions of the animatronics are all here, and we're gonna see if any of 'em still work. So, stick around, and hopefully we'll find something cool to show you.

[The camera cuts to ROB and LISA inspecting a poster of the different animatronics. ROB points at the different animatronics- one rabbit, one bear, one fox, one chicken, and one that appears to be humanoid.]

> ROB: So, these are all the animatronics they used to have in here.

> LISA: Yeah. These are actually called the 'Toy' animatronics. So, this is Bonnie, this one's Chica, here's Foxy, the girl right here is Spark. And here is the star of the show, Freddy Fazbear.

> ALEX [pointing at Spark]: I like how- I like how all of them are animals except that one.

> LISA: Yeah, they- They got sick of the animal designs, I guess.

> ALEX: Like all the different animals, and then some girl.

> LISA [laughing]: Just some girl. Okay but she's pretty though-

> ROB [off screen]: Yo, come check this out!

> LISA: Ooh- where? 

> ROB [off screen]: The party room!

> LISA [walking]: Come on, we're going on an adventure.

[Camera cuts to AARON, in the party room, looking annoyed. LISA is giggling in the background, and the voices of ROB and ALEX are muffled a bit.]

> AARON: Oh my God, these idiots.

[Camera flips to ALEX climbing on top of an arcade machine, trying to reach a high-up swing]

> AARON [off screen]: These idiots think it's a good idea to-

> ALEX: I'm climbing the swing!!

> AARON [off screen]: -to climb… on a 30 year old swing-

> LISA: That's where Spark used to sit during parties, she was made of metal. I'm sure he'll be fine. [pauses] Maybe?

> AARON: That was 30 years ago though-

[A pair of matching, bright yellow dots appear suddenly in the background. Aaron stops speaking abruptly, noticing them.]

> AARON [turning around]: What the- …did you see that?

> LISA: Wh- see what?

> AARON: …Did I just hallucinate that? Hold on-

> LISA: We haven't even been to the haunted part and he's already so scared he's hallucinating, someone help him-

> AARON: I'm not scared- I'm annoyed at you guys because you're gonna get-

[ALEX yells off screen, causing both AARON and LISA to flinch. The camera pans to him immediately as he gets off the swing.]

> AARON: What'd I tell you? It-

> ALEX: Nah- something just pushed me, man-

> LISA: What? What pushed you? Where's Rob?

> ROB: Over here-

> AARON [off screen]: He's screwing with us.

> ALEX: No I'm not, man-

> LISA [excited]: Maybe the place really is haunted.

> AARON: Can you not look so happy about that?

> LISA [ignoring him]: Dude, we are so going viral if it's actually haunted.

> AARON [looking at the camera]: Do you see. Do you see who I live with. [gets smacked on the arm by LISA] Ow-!

> LISA: That's what you get. Come on, I wanna find the animatronics!

[Camera cuts to AARON. The camera pans towards the wall as he shows off the drawings taped to it.]

> AARON: Look at all the drawings the kids did while it was still open. There's so many of 'em. Look- this one's dated.

[He zooms the camera in towards a drawing of a yellow rabbit on a hill with a rainbow in the background.]

> AARON: Says… 1982. And most of these are probably around that timeline, maybe a year or two apart. These just about cover the hallways all throughout the building. Years and years of happy kids making memories, still stuck to the walls.

> LISA: Guys!! Look on stage!!

[AARON walks towards the stage, stopping when he climbs on. He gasps at the sight of a dark red stain on the floor.]

> AARON: That's horrifying, oh my God.

> LISA: This must be where Charlie died. Yeah- it is, look, you can see the crack in the floor.

> ROB: Who?

> ALEX: Charlotte Emily.

> ROB: Oh, right.

> LISA: For those of you who don't know, Charlotte Emily was a little girl who died here right before it closed down. They say that she was stabbed trying to help another kid. She died right here over this crack. If the story's right, one of the animatronics named the Marionette just happened to be coming to stage at the same time, so the floor opened up. The Marionette caught her in its arms and held up her body as if displaying it as she died right in the middle of the stage.

> ALEX: That's so bad, actually, that poor kid.

> LISA: Yeah. It's horrifying. People say she's a vengeful spirit now, and that she haunts the Marionette doll that held her. It's one of the cases that got me into paranormal studies, actually.

> ROB: Guys! Guys, I found one!

[LISA instantly runs over, excited to see what he found. AARON, who is holding the camera, and ALEX follow her.]

[An animatronic is revealed. She's sitting behind the curtain, haphazardly thrown in the corner. It's SPARK, the humanoid girl in the poster.]

> LISA: Oh my God. Guys!! It's Spark!

> AARON: That- is extremely well made. Look at that-

>ROB: It doesn't even look old.

[LISA kneels down to get a better look at the animatronic, smiling brightly.]

> LISA: She's so cute, oh my God- look at the little top hat, awww-

> ROB: Why are you fawning over it-

> LISA: Look at how well-made she is! The little pink ringmaster suit-

> ALEX: That is the most aggressive blonde hair I have ever seen.

> LISA: Her hair's not blonde, it's yellow. That is like- lemon yellow.

> ALEX: Yeah, that's spicy blonde.

> LISA [grabbing SPARK'S face softly to inspect it]: Spicy blonde-???

> AARON: She's kinda creeping me out to be honest with y-

[SPARK'S eyes snap open abruptly, startling everyone. No further movements are made. There is a long tense silence.]

> LISA: …Maybe that's… an automatic thing. Because I just touched her face.

> AARON: …Nope, I'm out.

[AARON turns to walk away. ALEX grabs his arm, not letting him leave.]

> AARON: Nope, I am not doing this, that is creepy. That's weird. That's really freaking weird-

> LISA: Come on, it's, uh- it's nothing, Aaron, don't be lame.

> AARON: Wh- you're gonna stay here with it?!

> LISA: We're ghost hunters! That's what we do!

> AARON: Fine.

> LISA: Thank you. …It hasn't moved since, it's probably fine. …Just in case, get the talkie bag.

> ALEX: …Yeah, Rob. Get the talkie bag.

> ROB: I don't have the talkie bag. Aaron does.

> AARON: No I do not, I'm the camera man. Alex is supposed to have it.

> LISA: Just- okay, where is the talkie bag?

> ALEX: I was just supposed to put it in the car. And I did do that. 

> LISA: So it's in the car.

> ALEX: Yes.

> LISA: Okay. You guys go get it, please. I'll stay here with the robot.

[ROB, ALEX, and AARON go off to get the bag. LISA moves to turn the camera off. Seemingly believe the camera to be turned off, the robot suddenly speaks in a mechanical, quiet voice.]

> SPARK: You don't need it.

[LISA stops moving dead in her tracks. camera appears to have been placed beneath LISA'S leg. audio remains clear, but the image is frequently obscured by movement and fabric]

> LISA: …No?

> SPARK: No. I can talk just fine.

> LISA [scared and intrigued]: …Oh.

> SPARK: Are you… new night guards?

> LISA: What? No, I'm… a YouTuber.

> SPARK: What?

> LISA: I- I make videos with my friends. Well- I do now. We're just starting, we wanted to look around and see everything that there was. 

> SPARK: You like ghost stories?

> LISA: Yeah, we do.

[image briefly distorts]

> SPARK: [static] -hear about the- [static] -kids?

> LISA: Yeah. 

> SPARK: They're not here.

> LISA: I know. It's- [static] -why I came here.

> SPARK: Who sent you?

> LISA: Who… what?

> SPARK: [static] -of the Night Guard? Did he tell you to say hi?

> LISA: Who's the night guard? I haven't seen any guards. Is he asleep on the job?

> SPARK: No- [static] -probably would be.

> LISA: Oh. What… are you?

> SPARK: I'm a ghost. Trapped in here. You like ghosts?

> LISA: This is- [static] -I've… never actually met one. 

> SPARK: Well, you have now. I can help you make your vide-

> AARON [off screen]: Got it!!

[Instantly, SPARK stops all communications]

> LISA: I got her to talk!! She was talking! There's a ghost in there! Dang it, and now she won't do it anymore- Spark? Spark, it's okay, they're cool-

> AARON: Lisa, quit, okay?

> LISA: I'm serious!! I'll show you the footage-

[The camera cuts off mid-sentence.]

[The camera turns back on to see AARON, LISA, ROB, and ALEX sitting in the car. AARON looks scared, LISA looks excited, ROB and ALEX are both shocked.

> AARON: …Oh… my God.

> LISA: We're SO going back.

> AARON: No way that was real.

> LISA: It was so real. I can get her to talk again.

> AARON: No. No way.

> LISA: Well you don't have to come- okay! Hi guys! So… in the car. After that. …Hooooly- I- we just- …I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out- I swear to you that was real. I- okay- we're totally going back. Umm, that was a FANTASTIC first experience.

> AARON: No! It wasn't! Lisa this is serious-

> LISA: You're just jealous she likes me more than you!! Okay, so, basically… we couldn't get her to talk anymore after they walked in. She's shy I guess. Butttttt… we're gonna go back tommorow.

> AARON: No we're not. We're calling the police like normal people, Lisa.

> LISA: Don't listen to him. He's weird. Alright! So… we'll see you guys tommorow! Bye internet!

Thank you so much for the compliment! And I'm very sorry I'm only getting around to your message now, I hope my answer is not too late to be useful.

Though I'm afraid it might not turn out terribly useful in general, since I can't give a precise answer to the first part of your question - and I'm not entirely sure what you mean with the second part 😅

But let's start with the first: It's really difficult to say what the cargo capacity of La Sirena might be, given that we've never seen her cargo bay. Nor even a proper sketch of what her cargo bay might have been intended to look like. The closest we get is this cutaway from the "Set Me Up" featurette:

On the left-hand side of the cutaway, you can see what is likely supposed to be a cargo bay at the bottom, leading to the big cargo doors. But technically, the space above that is the engine room, and given all the slightly arbitrary geometry in there, I'm not sure any of these spaces in the model were fully thought out by the production team or should be used to draw conclusions about the in-universe ship.

And even taking this model at face-value, it's still really difficult to evaluate the size of the cargo bay. The set of the front part of Sirena, as it was designed and built, is too large to fit into this model. You'd have to make a bunch of adjustments to either the size of the ship or the size of the interiors, and that would have more or less drastic impacts on how large the cargo bay would turn out to be in comparison.

Also, it's very much a question of how the ship is loaded. In an early design phase, all the open spaces along both decks of the ship were supposed to hold modular cargo containers.

Quoting from the Eaglemoss Official Starships Collection Special Issue on La Sirena:

[Art Director Rob] Johnson gave the interior an exposed framework that modular rooms were designed to fit into. The cargo would have done the same job, with different-shaped containers made to fit in the voids in the bulkheads. The cargo was never added and Johnson says what you see is “a skeleton without the organs.”

This is an early design of what this modular cargo might have looked like, also from the booklet.

When we meet Rios and La Sirena in season 1, the only cargo we see are a number of crates strewn around the upper and lower decks.

It stands to reason he wouldn't have too much freight on board, since he has just been hired to ferry Picard to destinations unknown, which doesn't really combine well with any scheduled cargo run. But whether there are these sort of modular containers somewhere in-universe that might be fitted in between the ribs of the ship is never answered.

Apart from storage space inside the ship, though, there is also the fact that Sirena was conceptualized as a tug. Some of the assembly at her back serves as a tether for cargo modules that can be strung together like the cars of a freight train.

At that point, the cargo tonnage of the ship expands dramatically and becomes a question of engine power and warp mechanics that nobody can answer in any meaningful way.

So, the answer to "how much cargo can Sirena transport?" is "almost impossible to answer"it's pretty much impossible to say". Depending on how much you want to bring production design intentions into it, the available space varies between "as many of the sorts of crates we see used in the show stacked along the two decks we know exist for certain" and "that plus some unseen cargo bay" and "densely stacked modular cargo containers designed to slot into all parts of the ship alongside the living quarters and holodeck, plus the same in cargo bay, and a train of freight modules hitched to the back of the ship."

As for the "price": I'm afraid I'm not entirely sure what you're asking here. How much this sort of ship would cost to acquire? How much you would be charged to have your cargo hauled by one of these freighters? What we think Picard might have paid Rios to take him on his little adventure? Something else entirely?

Money is always tricky in Star Trek, but the core of the United Federation of Planets is supposed to be a moneyless, post-scarcity society. If we go by the strictest interpretation, if Rios found Sirena on Earth, he wouldn't have had to pay anything for her. Same goes for shipping costs. If a Kaplan F-17 freighter were operated legally anywhere within or near the core of the Federation, I assume you wouldn't have to pay to acquire their services.

Now, once we move into the further reaches of Federation space, where people do still use money for the exchange of goods and services, things get even more complicated.

According to the designers' original intent, the Kaplan F-17 is fairly old. It was suggested that Sirena was built anywhere between 50 and 100 years before the start of season 1 (which is set in 2399). Acquiring such an old-fashioned ship might not have incurred a huge cost. Then again, she has souped-up engines and weapons, which either Rios or some previous owner added (same with the modular cabins, holodeck, transporter, etc. inside), and which might all affect the price.

And if we're talking about shipping costs, Rios, of course, is operating outside the typical post-capitalism norms of the Federation (and outside Federation space often enough to know e.g. the political situation in and around Vashti fairly well). But it's unclear whether he'd be paid in gold-pressed latinum or some other currency, and the value of any of those are pretty much impossible to know, anyway.

I think in beta canon, i.e. Rogue Elements by John Jackson Miller, we also don't get an exact number for what Rios pays for Sirena, though the down-payment is made in gold-pressed Latinum, and it takes him months to work off the rest of the price. But it's been a while since I've read the book, so I can't give you any more details on that off the top of my head.

Perhaps I might be able to give you some better suggestions about price and cargo if you let me know in a bit more detail what you want to know and what you need it for? (i.e. just out of general curiosity, or for story-writing purposes, or to size a 3D model properly, or....)

I hope I understood your question correctly, and I'm sorry if this answer isn't particularly satisfying 😅 If you're looking for info for a specific reason or project (just out of curiosity, for story-writing purposes, to size a 3D model of the ship more accurately, ...), maybe I might be able to offer more insights or at least point you to some other places that might be able to help?

“So it was unreasonable for me to ask that people look up and give me their attention?” the man asked. It was met with a reminder from Juarez that that he only had a minute and 30 seconds left.

The man then folded his prepared statement. He paused briefly before delivering a cogent and brutal takedown of this current council. He pointed to the underlying elitism. When Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-Seattle) spoke last week, he said she was given several minutes and garnered the attention of the council. Everyone else? They were limited to one minute presentations.

“It reminded me of George Orwell’s famous scene from ‘Animal Farm’ about how all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others and that’s how I feel like I’m being treated now, just because I was kind of asking for your attention, like I noticed you all very attentive to Ms. Jaypal last week. And I immediately got a hostile response back from you. I don’t understand that.”

The council stayed silent. That prompted him to ask if they ever responded to constituents and again Juarez reminded him of his time limit.