#risk runner

“Back in the early days, before the City was as you know it now - before the Old Tower was even finished bein’ built - I used to make runs in this area.  I’d trade with the people still campin’ on the outskirts, be a gun for hire, bounty hunter, you name it.  Whatever paid good.”  He gestured with his chin out into the vast chasm of scattered metal platforms and piping, illuminated from beams of dusty sunlight seeping through cracks in the walls and old lighting still somehow generating from industrial lights above.  “This is where I lived.”

I looked out in front of us, hearing the lonely echoing groans of the structure.  “You lived here?”

He nodded.  “Well, not here, but yeah.  Come on, I’ll take ya in further.  It’s … gonna require a bit of jumping and careful footwork.  I’ll go first, you follow, okay?”

I nodded and let Cayde lead me over large gaps to rickety and and squeaking platforms I was sure were going to give out under us from our weight.  He was nimble and quick - a true Hunter, of course - and it took me a bit longer to make the jumps, Cayde patiently waiting for me on the platforms ahead, idly twirling a flaming knife as he did, looking around, no doubt reminiscing.  

Once I caught up to him, he gave me a little smile over his shoulder and hopped off to another platform.  I continued to follow along, almost losing my footing on the last one, Cayde quickly grabbing my wrist and pulling me up beside him.  “Gotchya, beautiful,” he murmured, smiling.  I smiled back, then looked past him to see a set of stairs ahead of us, leading into what looked like a room.

“Okay, now, I wantchya to remember, this is a secret place, okay?  No one knows about it.  Not even Zavala and Ikora.”“I thought you said Zavala knows we’re here?”

“He knows we’re in the Cosmodrome,” Cayde corrected.  “Just not exactly where in the Cosmodrome.”

I nodded.  “Your secret’s safe,” I promised.

He gave a curt nod in satisfaction.  “Good.  Cause that spot up there?  That’s … that’s not just secret, it’s special.”

Again, I nodded, then followed him up the stairs, pulling my helmet off as we went, immediately noticing a picture of Colonel, framed by the Ace of Spades card design, and hanging on the wall.  “You’ve been here since the Red War,” I observed.  “I take it Zavala doesn’t know that?”

“Zavala doesn’t know a lot of things,” Cayde replied, a lighthearted and slightly mischievous tone about his voice as he looked at the picture of Colonel.  He sighed and I suddenly sensed a slight melancholy feeling about him.  “Wish I had one-a Sundance,” he murmured, and I settled my hand on his back, giving it a little rub.  Cayde cleared his throat and stood up a bit straighter then looked down at the top of the bench in front of him.  “I, uh, I swear I did not make this mess," he said of all the ramen coupons littered about.

I smirked.  “I thought this was your secret place?  Who else would’ve done it?”

Cayde threw up his hands, trying to look innocent, then started looking around the area, moving boxes and peeking behind various items scattered around the bench.“What are you looking for?” I asked as I watched him.

“What are you looking for?” I asked as I watched him.

“Little glowy Arc rifle magazines about yay big,” he answered, holding his hands up to show me the size of them as he kept looking around the bench.

“Are they in there?” I asked, pointing to a metal, army green colored box with white spades stenciled on it.

“That?” Cayde asked.  “No, no.  That’s …”  He pointed to it.  “That’s somethin’ … Don’t worry about it.  Just remember that’s there and … If … if somethin’ ever happens to me … Just remember it’s there, okay?”I frowned.  “Cayde …”

“Just promise me, alright?”

I frowned.  “Cayde …”

“Just promise me, alright?”

I stepped in front of him and settled my hands on his arms, giving them a gentle squeeze.  “Nothing’s going to happen to you,” I said, shaking my head a little as I looked at him with worry.  Something bad already had and there was no way I was going to let anything happen to him again.  

“I know,” he softly told me.  “It’s a just incase.  So, promise me, okay?”

“What’s in it?” I asked.

He lifted his hands to my face, lovingly cupping my cheeks, looking at me with pleading eyes.  “Ais, please?”

I let go of his arms and lifted my hands to the backs of his, caressing them and nodded.  “Okay.  I promise.”

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine.  “It’s nothing bad,” he whispered.  “But it’s complicated.  And there’s no one else I trust more than you.”

“One of those things from long ago, huh?” I murmured back, also closing my eyes, slowly sliding my hands up and down his arms in a soothing caress.

“Yeah.”

We stood like that for a while before I leaned back and smiled at him.  He smiled back just as a flicker of light over his shoulder caught my eye.  I frowned and looked past him to see a heart shaped design on one of the large metal trusses behind him. I smirked and he looked over his shoulder to see what I was looking at.  “Oh, wow.  That’s still there.”

“It’s a heart,” I simply stated and he nodded.  

“Is it intentional or just a play of the light?” I asked.

“Play-a the light,” Cayde nodded, looking at it.

“It’s actually why I ended up settlin’ here,” he said, going over to it.  “Thought it was a sign.”  He climbed up on top of the large computer console and looked at the heart.  “Yup.  I used to, uh … Y-you remember me tellin’ you about how I’d sit with a pillow behind me and read my books, pretendin’ it was my Queen there with me?” He asked.

I nodded.  “Like you and I do now, when we sit on the couch?”

“Or our special place in the Hanger, yeah,” he nodded.  “This was it.  This is where I’d sit.  Right under that heart.  It was like … like she was there … lookin’ after me.  Made it not so lonely.”

He stared at the heart for a few more moments, then something seemed to strike him and I felt a wave of emotion hit him.  He hopped down and moved past me, heading for the door where we came in.

“Cayde?” I asked with concern, reaching out for him as he passed, but he held his hand out behind himself, shaking his head as he hurried down the steps then suddenly stopped with a hitching gasp.

I took a step toward the stairs but he shook his head, apparently hearing me move.  “No.  Do - I - I'm alright, I just need a minute,” he uttered, tilting his head forward into his hand, his shoulders softly shaking.

I watched him, frowning sadly, wanting nothing more than to hold him but he clearly didn’t want that.  At least, not at the moment.  Maybe later.  

I noticed that lately he’d been trying to get a better handle on his emotions.  Ever since Enceladus, he’d been having a hard time with them.  They’d been slightly erratic and we’d both determined it was from the repairs made to his body - that updates and improvements Clovis Bray had apparently been working on for Exo’s after Cayde was originally transferred from his human body were causing an initial imbalance that his body and mind were gradually working on balancing.  I wasn’t sure if whatever had triggered his feelings now was the imbalance or if the memories really were that emotional for him.  I gave him his space, though, not wanting to push.  Cayde knew I’d be right there if he needed me.

I decided to give him the time he needed and went back to the bench, looking around for the Arc magazines, poking through all the old Ramen boxes, thinking he might have stashed them in one, gradually working my way through the boxes stuffed under the bench with no luck, then moved on to the ones he had stacked in a corner of the room.

A few minutes later, I heard him come back up the stairs.  “I swear, I don’t remember having so many of these,” Cayde said, and I looked over my shoulder to see him looking at all the boxes on top of and under the bench, idly toeing at some of the coupons on the floor.

"You alright?" I asked.

He nodded.  "Yeah.  Thanks."  He took a breath and let it out, clearing his throat again.

“Why do you even have all these boxes?” I asked, as if nothing had happened.

He looked over at me and smiled a little.  “Uuuh … Long story short, I saved the founders of the Spicy Ramen from Fallen when they were making their way to the City.”

“Is that what the special connection is you have with that restaurant?” I smirked.  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Believe it or not, babe, I don’t gloat about everything,” he told me with another smile.  “AH!”  I jumped as he threw a hand up, snapping his gloved fingers.  “I remember where they are!”  He went over to the console he used to sit on and kicked at a small door near the bottom, popping it out.  As the door opened, the Arc magazines fell out onto the floor.  “Got ‘em!”

I chuckled and went over to him.  “So … Are you going tell me what they’re for now?”

He picked up the magazines and turned to face me.  “Nope.  I’m gonna show you.”  He knocked another door on the console behind him with his elbow then twisted back and pulled it open, taking out a teal rifle with three shiny, pointed metal prongs on the end of the muzzle.  He winked at me as he slapped the magazines into place, the gun crackling with Arc energy as it lit up.  “Have I ever told you about my days before the Ace, when I was an Arc Blade?”  He asked me and practically grinned as only an Exo could.

This was going to be interesting …