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Part of the greater story of For Cayde that I started years ago. Yes, I am still working on it. Made more changes, been polishing stuff, rearranging stuff, changing a few things here and there to help better tell their story as well as update it with new tings learned.
With tomorrow being the last update, it reminded me of a part I wrote that takes place in the Beyond Light part of the story that just seemed to fit right now. So I figured I'd post it here for all of you who have missed the story and are silently cursing me out for not updating in ... almost two years now? *cringe* Sorry. But at least you know I am still at it!
Rest well, Guardians. Tomorrow is a big day. And, while it might be a sunset of sorts, remember, the sun will return. πβ οΈπ
The final night of their leave, Aislin sat out on the porch watching the last of the sunlight begin to dip behind the mountains beyond the lake.Β
She had a hot cup of lightly sweetened matcha, another cup on the table beside her, waiting for Cayde, who, a few minutes ago, had finished up the last of the tending in the garden and was inside washing his hands.Β
After a few minutes, she heard the familiar creek of the floorboards by the door before he came out and sat in the chair next to hers, sighing contentedly as he leaned back and propped his feet up on the railing β as he always did β crossing one ankle over the other. Β Rasha and Ghost followed, the small War Beast settling on the nearby blanket bed theyβd made for her, Ghost hovering near the hanging plants, looking out at the lake.Β
It was a beautiful evening.Β Quiet and peaceful.
Aislin glanced over at Cayde.
βCan I ask you something?β she murmured.
βCourse you can, darlinβ.Β Shoot,β he said as he picked up his mug, blowing on the hot drink before sipping it.
βWhat would you do if we woke up tomorrow and were no longer Guardians?β
He paused before he even got the mug all the way to his lips and glanced over at her, arching a sharp metal eyebrow.
Even Ghost turned around and looked at her.Β βI hope this question doesnβt mean anything happened to me,β he stated.
She shook her head.Β βNo, of course not.Β Youβre still with us.βΒ She looked back at Cayde.Β βI just meant β¦ if the Light was gone.Β From everyone.β
Cayde frowned.Β βWhat made ya wonder that?β
βHumor me?β she gently asked.
βWell, I think itβs pretty obvious, darlinβ,β Cayde told her.Β βLive.Β With you.β
Aislin softly smiled.Β βFor a man who loves living on the edge, I think youβre secretly someone content to grow old on a porch, just like you are now,β she said, leaning her head back, lazily gazing back out at the sunset.
βWhoa.Β Hey now,β Cayde told her.Β βDonβt go throwinβ the βO-Wordβ around like that.βΒ His tone was light.Β Held a bit of humor in it.Β
Again, she smiled.
She heard him set his mug back down on the table and shift in his chair, feet coming off the railing as he sat up, leaning forward, elbows on his knees.Β βSeriously,β he said, looking over at her.Β βWhat made ya ask that?β
She looked over at him.Β βGoing back into it all tomorrow.Β Knowing Eramis is aiming to destroy the Traveler. Β Just β¦βΒ She glanced back out toward the lake.Β βRemembering being without the Light for a few weeks after the start of the Red War. Β Thinking about how life would be if that became permanent.β
Cayde thoughtfully frowned and followed her gaze out toward the lake, watching the rippling golden shimmer on the waterβs surface as the last of the light faded away, the irony of what she was saying and the timing of the sunset not lost on him.
Cayde was quiet for a long moment.
Not the easy quiet, either. Not the kind where he was waiting for a joke to finish loading or letting the moment breathe because the sunset deserved it.
This one had weight.
Aislin watched the side of his face in the fading light, the copper-gold of the sky catching along the blue plating of his cheek, the sharp line of his jaw, the little orange flicker in his throat when he swallowed around something he hadnβt said yet.
Rashaβs ears twitched from her blanket, sensing the shift. Ghost said nothing, but he drifted a little lower between the hanging plants, his shell turning in slow, thoughtful increments.
Cayde finally reached for his mug again, but he didnβt drink. He just wrapped both hands around it, letting the heat sit there between his palms.
βPermanent,β he echoed quietly.
Aislinβs fingers tightened around her own cup. βYeah.β
He nodded once, staring out over the lake.
βWell,β he said after a while, βfirst thing Iβd do is probably say somethinβ real brave and inspirational. Somethinβ like, βAh, hell.ββ
Despite herself, Aislin huffed a soft laugh through her nose.
Cayde glanced over at her, the smallest curve tugging at his mouth. βThen Iβd probably check on you. Then Ghost. Then Rasha, even though Iβm pretty sure sheβd be less concerned about the cosmic state of the universe and more concerned about whether breakfast was still happeninβ.β
Rasha lifted her head at the word breakfast, tail giving a hopeful thump against the porch boards.
βSee?β Cayde murmured, pointing at her with the mug. βPriorities.β
Aislin smiled, but it faded gently as Cayde looked back out toward the water.
βAfter thatβ¦β His voice lowered. βI dunno, darlinβ. Depends what kind of world we woke up in.β
βThe same one,β she said softly. βJust without resurrection. Without Light. No Ghosts healing us. No abilities. No coming back.β
Ghostβs eye dimmed faintly, not with fear exactly, but with the solemn understanding of a thing he had been made to defy.
Caydeβs thumb moved along the side of his mug.
βThen Iβd be scared,β he admitted.
Aislin looked at him.
He didnβt look ashamed of it. Didnβt try to dodge it with a grin, not right away.
βI mean, Iβd dress it up real pretty. Make it sound heroic. Probably toss in a joke or three. But yeah.β He glanced at her, expression softer now. βIβd be scared. For you. For Ikora. Zavala. The kids in the Tower who still look at us like weβre carved outta mountain and myth. For every little farm and settlement out there that only sleeps at night because somebody like us is standing between them and the teeth in the dark.β
Aislin looked down at her matcha.
Cayde continued, quieter.
βAnd Iβd be scared for me, too. Not βcause I canβt handle dyinβ. Been there. Got the punch card. But because this timeβ¦β His mouth twitched, humorless. βThis time Iβd have something I really, really donβt wanna leave.β
Her throat tightened.
The lake reflected the last smear of sunlight, turning the water into a long ribbon of dying gold.
βI remember the Red War,β Aislin murmured. βI remember what it felt like when Ghost couldnβt heal me. When every injury stayed. Every bruise, every cut.Β Every broken bone.Β I remember still trying to fight like I was immortal and realizing halfway through that I wasnβt.β
Caydeβs gaze settled on her.
βI remember watching people panic,β she said. βGuardians. Civilians. Everyone looking up at the cage around the Traveler likeβ¦ like the sky itself had betrayed us.β
Ghost drifted closer, his voice gentle. βI remember that too.β
Aislin looked toward him, her expression softening.
Ghostβs shell rotated once, subdued. βI remember trying. Over and over. I remember thinking there had to be something I was missing. Some frequency, some spark, some door I hadnβt found yet.β His eye lowered. βThere wasnβt.β
Cayde reached out, and Ghost floated near enough for Cayde to touch two fingers lightly against the edge of his shell.
βWasnβt your fault, buddy.β
βI know,β Ghost said, though the way he said it made clear he had only learned to know that with effort.
Aislin watched them, heart aching in that warm, familiar way that came from loving both of them.
Caydeβs hand lowered back to his mug.
βThing is,β he said, βI donβt think the Light makes us Guardians.β
Aislin tilted her head slightly.
He shrugged one shoulder. βMakes us harder to kill. Makes us shinier. Gives us the big dramatic entrance and the occasional lightning tantrum.β He gave her a pointed look. βSome of us more than others.β
Her mouth curved despite the heaviness.
βBut it ainβt the Light that makes you step in front of somebody else,β he continued. βIt ainβt the Light that made you break into an impossible Bray freezer-box on Enceladus because you refused to let a stubborn idiot die in a Tower infirmary.β
Aislin looked away, but her expression softened.
βIt ainβt the Light that made Zavala stand on the Wall when everything was falling apart,β Cayde said. βOr Ikora tear herself bloody trying to get people out. Or Amanda fly rescue routes under fire with no Ghost, no armor, no magic, and more guts than all the Guardians I ever knew over my lifetime.β
Ghost bobbed faintly in agreement.
Cayde looked back at the sunset.
βSo if we woke up tomorrow and the Light was gone?β He exhaled slowly. βI think thereβd be a lot of fear. A lot of grief. A lot of people realizing the universe wasnβt gonna let us cheat anymore.β
His hand shifted, reaching across the small space between their chairs.
Aislin met him halfway, sliding her fingers into his.
His grip closed around hers, warm from the mug.
βBut I also think,β he said, βthat after the first panic burned out, people would still get up. Zavala would still organize evacuations. Ikora would still know too much and scare everybody with it. Shaxx would still yell morale into existence. Saint would still punch something he absolutely should not punch. And youβ¦β
His gaze turned to her fully.
βYouβd still stand up.Β Still walk on out there into danger, bold as ever.β
Aislinβs eyes stung.
Cayde squeezed her hand.
βMight not be with Arc light crawling over your shoulders,β he said softly. βMight not be with a Ward big enough to make the world feel safe for ten seconds or a fire hot enough to rival the sun. But youβd stand up anyway. Because thatβs who you are.β
She swallowed.
βAnd you?β she whispered.
His brow lifted faintly. βMe?β
βYes, you.β
He looked as if the answer should have been obvious. Then, maybe realizing this was not a moment for flippancy alone, he let the joke sit untouched.
βIβd stand next to you,β he said.
The simplicity of it hit her harder than anything grand would have.
Cayde looked down at their joined hands.
βMaybe I wouldnβt be Cayde-6, Hunter Vanguard, beloved menace, hero of questionable decision-making.β
βBeloved menace is still on the table,β Aislin murmured.
βOkay. Yeah.Β That oneβs load-bearing.Β Weβll keep it.β His smile flickered, then softened again. βBut maybe Iβd just be Cayde. Your husband. Guy who fixes the crooked fence, grows tomatoes like heβs personally offended by market-bought ones, teaches Rasha tricks she absolutely should not know, and makes sure your ramen and coffeeβs made right.β
Aislinβs thumb brushed over his knuckles.
βThat would be enough for you?β she asked.
Cayde went still.
Then he turned in his chair, facing her more fully.
βDarlinβ,β he said, voice low and certain, βafter everything it took to get here? After Sundance, the Prison, Enceladus, Io, every miserable miracle between then and now?β His eyes held hers, bright and steady in the dusk. βA quiet life with you wouldnβt be some consolation prize. Itβd be the damn treasure.β
Aislinβs breath caught.
For a moment, she couldnβt answer.
The porch creaked faintly beneath them. Somewhere down by the lake, something small moved through the reeds. The air smelled of pine, cooling earth, matcha, and the faint clean traces of Caydeβs cologne lingering beneath the scent of the garden.
Ghost turned away toward the water, giving them the privacy of pretending he wasnβt listening.
Rasha, less subtle, sighed dramatically and rested her chin back on her paws.
Aislin blinked hard, then gave Cayde a small, fragile smile.
βYou always do that.β
βDo what?β
βSay something ridiculous and then follow it with something that makes me want to cry.β
βYeah, well.β He leaned back slightly, trying for casual and not quite making it. βIβm multifaceted.β
βYouβre impossible.β
βAlso true.β
She looked down at their hands again.
βI think Iβd miss it,β she admitted. βThe Light. Not the fighting. Not the wars. But the feeling of it. The warmth. The certainty that, even in the dark, something answered.β
Ghost drifted back toward her and gently pressed against her shoulder.
Aislin lifted her free hand to touch his shell.
βI would miss being able to protect people that way,β she said.
Caydeβs expression gentled. βYeah.β
βIβd miss being able to protect you that way.β
His fingers tightened around hers.
βAisβ¦β
βI know,β she whispered. βI know you donβt want me thinking of you as fragile.β
βI was gonna say mortal,β he murmured. βBut fragileβs got a worse mouthfeel.β
She gave him a look.
He gave one back, softer than his smirk wanted to be.
βI know,β she said again. βBut I almost lost you when you were Lightless. I watched what it did to you. I watched your body fail and your mind try to outrun it. I know we survived that. I know you survived that. But sometimesβ¦β
The words snagged.
Cayde waited.
Aislin looked out at the last edge of the sun vanishing behind the mountains.
βSometimes I remember how close it was,β she said. βAnd I wonder what happens if the universe asks us to be that lucky again.β
Cayde was quiet.
Then he set his mug aside, stood, and crossed the short distance between them.
He didnβt pull her up. Didnβt make a joke. Didnβt tell her not to think about it.
He just crouched in front of her chair, both hands coming around hers, holding them carefully between his own.
βThen we donβt count on luck,β he said.
Aislin looked at him.
βWe count on preparation. On friends. On backup plans. On Ghost being the smartest little starburst in the system.β
Ghost made a small sound that might have been touched yet offended or touched and proud.Β It was hard to tell.
βWe count on Rasha biting anything that comes too close.β
Rashaβs tail thumped once, approving.
βAnd we count on us,β Cayde said. βSame as always.β
Aislinβs eyes searched his face.
He leaned closer.
βI canβt promise the Travelerβs gonna be okay,β he said. βCanβt promise Eramis wonβt take a swing big enough to shake the whole damn sky. Canβt promise we wonβt wake up someday and find out the rules changed again.β
His voice softened.
βBut I can promise you this. Light or no Light, Guardians or not, Vanguard or not, whatever tomorrow looks likeβ¦β He touched his forehead gently to hers. βIβm gonna spend it tryinβ to come home to you.β
Aislin closed her eyes.
The words settled into her, not as a cure for the fear, but as an anchor dropped into deep water.
Her hand slid up to the side of his face, thumb brushing along cool metal warmed by the evening air.
βAnd Iβll be trying to come home to you,β she whispered.
βI know.β
βEvery time.β
βI know, darlinβ.β
The last of the sun slipped away.
For a few minutes, neither of them moved. The world held itself in twilight around them, the lake darkening from gold to blue-black, the first stars appearing overhead one by one.
Finally, Cayde drew back just enough to look at her.
βSo,β he said softly, βin this no-Light retirement scenarioβ¦ do I still get a hat?β
Aislin stared at him then frowned.Β βA β¦ hat?β
He lifted one finger. βYeah.Β A homestead hat. Maybe with a little embroidered chicken on it.β
βIn honor of Colonel?β she smiled.
βWell, yeah.Β But also, figure, if Iβm gonna raise some chickens, might as well have the hat to match.β
βYou want to raise chickens?Β Not just have one as a pet?β
βColonel wasnβt a pet.Β She was a soldier,β Cayde adamantly corrected, but was smiling.Β βBesides, Rasha would love chickens.β
βRasha would terrorize chickens,β Aislin pointed out, already seeing that scenario play out.
Rasha lifted her head again, hearing her name and looking deeply innocent.
Cayde gestured toward her. βLook at that face. That is the face of a responsible livestock guardian.β
βThat is the face of someone who ate a gardening glove yesterday.β
βOne of the gloves I risked life and limb to save from the wasps in the shed?β Cayde asked her.
Aislin nodded.
Rashaβs tail stopped moving.
Cayde slowly turned to her. βYou ate the glove?β
Rasha looked away toward the lake.
Ghostβs shell clicked once. βShe did.β
Cayde gasped. βBetrayal. In my own home.β
Aislin laughed then, really laughed, the sound loosening something tight in her chest.
Cayde looked back at her, and there it wasβthe little spark of relief in him, the quiet satisfaction of having pulled her back from the edge of a thought that had begun to swallow her.
But he didnβt make light of the fear. Not completely.
He rose and sat on the arm of her chair instead of returning to his own, one arm sliding around her shoulders as naturally as breathing.
Aislin leaned into him.
After a moment, he reached for her mug, handing it to her, then picked up his own.
He took a sip, made a thoughtful face, and said, βYou know, if the Light goes out, weβre gonna need more tea.β
She rested her head against his side.
βI can grow tea.β
βOf course you can.β
βAnd vegetables.β
βAlready do.β
βAnd medicinal herbs.β
βHot.β
She elbowed him lightly.
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair.
βQuiet life with you,β he murmured again, softer this time. βYeah. I could do that.β
Aislin looked out at the darkening lake, at Ghost hovering nearby, at Rasha curled on her blanket, at the cabin windows glowing warm behind them.
Tomorrow, they would go back.
Back to Europa. Back to Eramis. Back to Bray secrets and Darkness and whatever waited beneath the ice.
But tonight, Caydeβs arm was around her, the porch was steady beneath them, and the last of the light had not felt like an ending.
Not really.
Only a reminder.
The sun could disappear behind the mountains and still return.
Aislin closed her eyes and let herself believe, just for the length of one quiet breath, that they could too.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Two years ago, I never thought these words and this scene would have such a different meaning than it did the day we first saw it.
Whatever comes after tomorrow, thank you Bungie. To the whole team who created the stories, the art, the characters, the music, the voices, the entire world ... from the bottom of my heart, thank you for changing my life. π
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming