"I'm a what-?"

A remake of my classic post from my main blog

Harry: AA AAA AÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀ!!!!!!!

Ron: i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets

Hermione: that is not correct. Because according to the encyclopaedia of pl-pl-pl-pl-pl-

Neville: iridocyclitis

Luna: He needs some milk

Ginny: Go back to sleep, and starve.

Draco: [gets 3rd degree burns from Harry] i’M seNsitIVe aUbreY!

Dean: Hey my names [dean] and I have a basketball game tomorrowww. I play point guard, i got shoe game-

Seamus: I’m John Cena!

Dumbledore: tEn bILliOn pOinTs tO gRyffiNPuff! fUcK yOu sNapE gRYFFINPUFF wins!!!

Snape: *lemons spilling out of his frosty flakes cereal box with ‘life’ written on it* well! when life gives you lemons 🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂

Lily: oh my god why can’t you just take the freaking compliMEEEENTT

James: People constantly ask me what’s it like to be a sexy-

Sirius: All I wanna tell you is school’s not important… Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog…RUFF. You know?

Remus: [dad, look! it’s the good kush…] This is the dollar store how good can it be?

Peter: I brought you Myrrh [thank you] Mur-dur! [huh…Judas..no]

McGonagall: Smack that bitch

Flitwick: I said whoever threw that paper, your moms a hoe!

Hagrid: Look at all those chickens

Arthur: road work ahead? Yeah I sure hope it does

Molly: every time you don’t yell at your kids, put a quarter in your sock and soon you’ll have a weapon to beat-

Bill: wOw

Charlie: So no head?

Percy: Hey everybody, today my brother pushed me, so I’m starting a kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be: I would get pushed way less.

Fred: can I get a waffle?

George: Can I please get a waffle?

Tonks: This bitch empty, YEET!

Moody: I wanna be a cowboy baby

Colin: That was legitness

Cho: Chris is that a weed?

Cedric: Oh my god they were roommates

Fleur: hi, I’m Renata Bliss and I’m your freestyle dance teacher

Victor: *slides in* Good evening

Filch: [theres only one thing worse than a rapist...boom] A child

Umbridge: Not to be racist, but Asian people..SSSUUUUUGHHHHHH

Lockhart: I am shooketh. No we can’t come here anymore I’m too famous.

Fudge: no off topic questions. Because I said so. I don’t want to. Permission denied. No. You have been stopped.

Dudley: Whaddup my name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never fucking learned how to read

Petunia: I saw you hanging out with caitlin yesterday!! [r-rebecca, it’s not what you think!] i won’t hesitate, bitch! * pew pew *

Vernon: the cheese of truth *puts cheese on newspaper* immigrants cause cancer

Dobby: Hi welcome to chilli’s

Hedwig: Bitch I hope the fuck you do! You’ll be a dead son of a bitch I tell you

Narcissa: two shots of vodka *pours in half a bottle of vodka*

Bellatrix: I love you bitch. I ain’t never gonna stop loving you….bitch.

We shot him in ze legs because his shield is ze size of a dinner plate and he's an idiot" 

Peter, an internet intellectual:

//I DIDN’T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y’ALL

When you’re working on your cover album but your friends are a little over-supportive.