Ever since he had starting seeing a therpist, Ilya realized that some days were better than others. There were many days where he felt functional. He could taunt other hockey players during a game and laugh with his teammates. He could smile and express his usual affections with Shane.
But then, there were other days where everything felt off. His throat felt tight, and he felt as if getting out of bed was like scaling a mountain with his bare hands. There were times where he felt like he wanted to scream from sheer frustration over keeping his relationship with Shane a secret. It felt isolating, but he didn't know how to bring it up to his partner just yet.
He loved the evenings whenever Shane would step over the threshold of his place but absolutely hated the mornings when his boyfriend had to leave.
On this particular morning, Ilya cooked them both poached eggs for breakfast. He made sure to adhere to Shane's strict diet but added a piece of toast for himself.
He hadn't even realized how abnormal he appeared as he prepared their meals. The mask that he tried his hardest to keep up was slipping. He was withdrawn and quiet ever since they woke up together. He felt himself blinking back tears as he made their coffee.
Shane was sure to notice that something was wrong.