she sang a song about being selfish

if she really was the selfish person she sang about, she wouldn't of given up the chance to come back to life.

she was an egotistical brat, no doubt, but she wasn't the heartless jerk she sang about herself being like everyone thinks.

i fail to understand how to explain this to people in a more understandable manor.

- An exhausted Jane Doe Kin

Jane Doe from Ride the Cyclone kin here (spoilers for the musical)

i still don't know how the fuck a fortune telling machine was able to make us have that purgatory-music battle area & then bring one of us back to life.

did he know what was going to happen the whole time and just wanted us to feel like we had a choice?

which- no duh, my head got chopped off in cannon, no wonder it feels weird.

also neck pain & migraines.

I just need to sort of get some stuff off my chest, so... be forewarned that this is a vent.

[And a really long post]

First... I understand that I'll probably never meet or talk to sourcemates... I'm basically from such an obscure AU, I may as well not exist... I might as well be non-canon... it hurts, but I want to talk about it.

You don't know me, nobody really did. But I remember I was trans, I had to hide myself from my father. I had to lie. I had to pretend I wasn't who I was.

Of course, he found out anyways...

I still remember what he said to me when I came home that day...

I ran away that night.

I stayed with Ricky...

Three days later, I died.

I died on the same ride that claimed the life of my boyfriend, my best friend, and all the others... I only went with him on that trip because I needed to take my mind off of the fact that I didn't have a home anymore... Mom lived several states away... and I couldn't leave Ricky, and I couldn't afford to travel...

I don't regret going... I don't regret dying.

Even before I was outed, I was his last priority. I worked to pay for my own clothes, my food... I was expected to just... be able to do that and still be a perfect student...

I couldn't... I was never "good enough" for him...

But I was somehow good enough for Ricky.

I guess he was the reason I was actually able to live as long as I did...

He saved me from myself more times than I'd like to admit... I would've been dead long before then... at MY own hands if it weren't for him.

All Ricky's out there? Thank you, I love you.

All Noel's out there? Thank you, I love you. /p

(In my canon I wouldn't have met Ricky without you.)

I miss being able to see, and hear, and hold, and kiss, and speak to, and just EXIST with you all... I miss everyone so much. I'm never going to find you again.

Although... on the bright side, my skin isn't covered in belt and bruise marks anymore... and I'm finally free.

– A Jane Doe [Ride The Cyclone] kin 🚺🎢

"I see the world with all its backwards upside down/there's nothing wrong with the nicest girl in town!/Everything's clear on my sugar cloud!"

^ THAT ALWAYS GETS ME. There is nothing wrong with nicest girl in town.

- Talia (Ride The Cyclone)

Talia (Ride the Cyclone (RTC))

in my source life, i always wondered how mischas choir friends were like. he would mention them sometimes and i told him i wanted to meet them one day and he had told me that i could meet him when i go to visit him in america one day. that day never came, hearing about his and his choirs passing hit me like a truck, i was unsure of what to do for a long time. but now in this life, i love him just as much as i did before, but now i have time. time to love him, time to tell him how proud i am, time to tell him the things i never got to.

mischa i love you so much, i hope you get everything you ever want in this life, i'll always support you and love you. p.s, your song *is* awesome

- talia (ride the cyclone)