“ please , just hold me . ” [ I n o ]
the days after their sensei’s death are long and slow, everything covered by a haze of grief. two children ( as much as they pretend they are grown, they aren’t. they are children still, and shikamaru feels it now more than ever ) feeling lost, feeling angry, feeling everything and nothing, reach for each other in comfort. these are days of co-habitation, of tangled up limbs, of shared tears, of not knowing where shikamaru ends and ino begins. he’s been staying at her home, for both their sakes, passing days in a daze, half asleep, half painfully aware of the time passing. spending nights huddled together in bed, crying until the tears exhaust them.
choji’s presence is just as constant, fluttering in and out of the house, coping by busying himself with the funeral preparations ( it makes shikamaru sick. he doesn’t want to attend a funeral. he wants to share a cigarette with asuma. he wants to learn everything the man had yet to teach him ), while his teammates wallow. it seems neither himself nor ino can rouse themselves towards action, barely sustaining themselves if not for the meals and encouragement to eat up delivered by choji.
“i’m here.” when ino speaks, reaches out for comfort, shikamaru is there in an instant. and of course, he obliges. he shifts from where he lays beside her in bed, arms fitting around her and pulling her tight against his chest ( maybe if he holds her close, he can stop the aching, the sudden and overwhelming emptiness ). hands move unconsciously, rubbing circles into her back in slow, repetitive motions. he shushes her, muttering reassurances, just to say something at all. his aim isn’t to stop the flow of emotion- no, he knows it will pour out of her either way- but to provide comfort while they both weather the storm. it’s in holding ino, or being held by her in turn, that shikamaru has been able to feel any sort of stability at all since losing asuma. in her constant, gentle touch, in her hands intertwined with his own, in her soft words while he cries ( and he cries and cries and cries, but only in front of her ).
“i’m here. i’ve got you.” it’s all he can say, all he can promise is true in their lives that have recently been thrown out of balance. but he’ll repeat it, voice low and steady, if only to remind her. he’s here. he’s here. she won’t be losing him, too.