wild & free

“Man you’re awkward. I mean, ridiculously beautiful but damn, grow into yourself.”

“What the ever-loving heckin’ heck are you eating now?”

“Excuse me sir, you can’t read.”

“You really have that ‘I don’t know how I fit into the world’ vibe about you.”

“That’s not polite.”

“You don’t even rise until you’re addressed. I’m digging your obedience.”

“Sit like a gentleman.”

“That’s not yours, friend.”

“That’s right. Listen to me and pretend to have an idea of what I’m talking about. I get that a lot.”

“I didn’t pay all this money for you not to be a cuddler.”

“Wanna go for a ride?”

“Show me your cop face.”

“I’m not a fan of you licking my teeth. Please don’t.”

“Okay; we’re done here.”

“Oh no, the postman! How ever will we survive now?!”

“You’re gonna be rude? Okay, you’ve lost the pleasure of my presence.”

“The piano isn’t evil, it’s just unpleasant to hear when I’m touching it.”

“Hey neighborhood watch, what’s going on with the town today?”

“We really don’t need to—oh we’re peeing in the garden now, that’s a thing.”

“I draw the line at shredding things.”

“What the heck is going on with your teeth?”

“No, you’re not helping.”

“We’ve all pooped. It’s your turn.”

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you, I’m just saying I don’t see anything.”

“I know you’re a blanket snatcher but you can’t snatch this blanket.”

“Oh, you want to help?”

“Leave him alone, he’s just trying to take a walk.”

“Right, right, defend your castle.”

“I wish I looked that beautiful having no idea what’s going on.”

“How do you get one?”

adult  themes / language tw.    customize  as  you  need / wish !

[ text ] I’m TIRED of waking up with gas station video quality vision !

[ text ] No offense to myself but… what the fuck am I actually doing ?

[ text ] Beware the 7 deadly sins: cringe, horny, earnest, random, entrepreneur, in love, pissed.

[ text ] I think you should get it. You really grew into it. 

[ text ] OMG ! I was having so much fun and laughing my ass off !

[ text ] (S)he has a weird voice. I don’t need to tell you that. 

[ text ] Good to know, _________.  Don’t tell me more. I beg of you.

[ text ] Today I choose violence as a treat.

[ text ] I think perhaps that I would like this month to be over.

[ text ] I think I’m stuck to the chair. Help ! 

[ text ] Fall in love ? I can’t even fall asleep !

[ text ] Maybe I should give them a 12th… no, 13th chance. 

[ text ] Why did you let me drink when I said alcohol would fix all my problems ?

[ text ] Stop trying to figure me out. I don’t know either. 

[ text ] I just want to watch movies and cuddle. Is that too much to ask for ?

[ text ] If you want to get drunk and order take out, I’m free on February 14th, just saying…

[ text ] Never mind. It was a moment of weakness.

[ text ] You can’t spell menu without me ‘n u, so… what’s up, baby ?

[ text ] My nightly routine is simple, I think until I get sad.

[ text ] In conclusion… I regret everything.

[ text ] Why is being alive so expensive ? I’m not even having fun.

[ text ] Did you ask me if I’m okay ? Next question.

[ text ] Feel free to get drunk at my funeral.  It’s what I would have wanted.

[ text ] I feel like a tattoo would bring peace to my life right now, should I get it ?

[ text ] I’m not single.  I’m taken… as a joke.

[ text ] You’re still mad. I can feel it through the phone.

[ text ] Want to hang ? We could sit in the car listening to music and talking for hours.

[ text ] Sometimes I pretend to be boring so people leave me alone. 

[ text ] Please don’t refer to yourself as our daddy/mommy. It’s creepy.

[ text ] –– there is plenty of cause for alarm, many reasons to panic.

[ text ] –– don’t let the teeth thieves strike.

[ text ] –– geography is a lie, maps are propaganda. oceans and continents are just tools to divide us.

[ text ] –– would you rather grow five fingers from your forehead or have no fingers at all?

[ text ] –– the illuminati issued a public apology today. they declined to say for what.

[ text ] –– ask your doctor if you’re even real.

[ text ] –– can’t sleep? don’t know how? don’t believe in sleep? never heard of it? doesn’t matter, not anymore. not ever again.

[ text ] –– help control the pet population by having your dog or cat digitized and transcoded as an ai twitterbot.

[ text ] –– it’s a good thing we’re unconscious when we sleep.

[ text ] –– follow your heart. you’ll need it.

[ text ] –– look, don’t blame the moon. blame those that put it there.

[ text ] –– let the stars remind you how small you are.

[ text ] –– the average person befriends 8 insects a year.

[ text ] –– paint a picture. it’ll take longer.

[ text ] –– haha wtf is water?? all wet and clear but also blue lol crazy stuff man.

[ text ] –– your existence is not impossible, but it’s also not very likely.

[ text ] –– fight crime with pistols and/or telekinesis and/or fire.

[ text ] –– you’ve been gone for so long you think this is your real life.

[ text ] –– the ghosts aren’t going away until you give them what they want.

[ text ] –– when a person dies and no one will miss them, the mourning is assigned to a random human. this is why you sometimes just feel sad.

[ text ] –– please calm down. to be clear, there’s absolutely no reason why you should calm down, but please do it anyway.

[ text ] –– if you’re afraid of flying, consider this: you’re currently flying on a big melty rock with no exits and its safety record isn’t great.

[ text ] –– it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and let the spiders escape.

[ text ] –– the future is what you make it, just know your supplies are limited.

[ text ] –– cooking tip: blood.

[ text ] –– did you fall from heaven? ‘cause you’re still buzzing, you smell like rust and potatoes, and radiation levels are spiking.

[ text ] –– medical breakthrough allows surgeons to remove organs without blades, anesthesia, patient consent, or reason.

[ text ] –– confused? not sure what life means? irrational undirected hate can help.

[ text ] –– insomnia? try a glass of warm milk, deep breaths, and leaving your life to join the religiously-unaffiliated zealots out behind the big lots.

[ text ] –– ouija boards are twitter for ghosts.

[ text ] –– they created mathematics to keep us from knowing what the numbers really mean.

[ text ] –– pain is just pain entering the body.

[ text ] –– stop letting physics and immutable laws of nature hold you back. you can do whatever you set your mind to.

[ text ] –– wolves were invented when artists learned how to draw them.

[ text ] –– tip: lower your expectations.

[ text ] –– happy kill your doppelgänger day!

[ text ] –– ‘go big or go home’ so I chose the former and never left.

[ text ] –– structurally speaking, laughing and crying are nearly identical, which makes it difficult to know which one to do in certain moments.

[ text ] –– all the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players, being watched by a silent, faceless audience, and we can’t leave the stage.

[ text ] –– some things are real, some are unreal, some are overly real.

[ text ] –– I scream, you scream, we all scream. we just keep screaming. no reason to stop screaming.

[ text ] –– tonight you will be visited by three ghosts. they’re all from the civil war era and want to know how iPads work. I gave them your name.

[ text ] –– shoutout to all the spiders hiding in dresser drawers.

[ text ] –– be the change purse full of blood and teeth that you want to see in the world.

[ text ] –– before you go gloating that the world didn’t end, just ask yourself: are you sure?

[ text ] –– ask your doctor if living decomposition is right for you.

[ text ] –– am I even me or am I just the sum of the microbes that live in me?

[ text ] –– ask your doctor if unlocking the memory of your death is right for you.

[ text ] –– it’s a dog eat dog world. it’s a cat eat map world. it’s a tarantula eat doritos world. it’s a goose eat staples world.

[ text ] –– no farm no howl.

[ text ] –– soon it will be 2013, after that 2014. after that the eternal wallowing, and then 2053.

[ text ] –– ask your doctor if the moon is causing all this.

[ text ] –– hail satan, rain demon.

Feel free to change any names/pronouns!

“I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be.”

“Give us more to see.”

“What did I give you?”

“I want to move on, I want to explore the light.”

“I want to know how to get through, through to something new. Something of my own.”

“You’re a good person, Peter. It’s such a weakness.”

“Is he- is this real?”

“However you live there’s a part of you always standing by, mapping out a sky.”

“How do we feel in that photograph and how can we feel it again?”

“Maybe I’ve done enough.”

“Your golden child grew up.”

“For the first time, I see an image of my brokenness, utterly worthy of love.”

“I finally see myself through the eyes of no one else.”

“You’ve got a second chance. You could go home.”

“You’ve got a warm heart, you’ve got a beautiful brain, but it’s disintegrating.”

“I was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up, and suddenly it fit.”

“I was little, I was weak, I was perfectly nieve, and I grew up too quick.”

“I won’t let you in, I swore never again.”

“I can’t afford, no, I refuse to be rejected.”

“But I can’t let you see all that I have to lose.”

“Here I am, pry me open. What do you want to know?”

“Everything was fine until you came around.”

“Man, you really brought me back down.”

“After all you put me through, don’t say it wasn’t true, that you were not the monster that I knew.”

“Another summer day is come and gone away in Paris and Rome, but, I want to go home.”

“I can’t call you a stranger, but I can’t call you.”

“You may hate me, but I can’t hate you.”

“I won’t replace you.”

“The way she tells me I’m hers and she is mine, open hand or closed fist would be fine.”

“If you’re still breathing, you’re the lucky ones.”

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.”

“I have never known anyone who actually believed that I was enough.”

“Smile, my boy, it’s sunrise.”

“I wish I knew how to quit you.”

“You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But, it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

“S’that motive enough for ya?”

‘Isn’t it lovely how artists can capture us?’

‘You would have liked her. Honey, I’m wrong- you would have LOVED her.’

“You can’t trick me anymore.”

“But, for what it’s worth, Peter, I really am sorry.”

“You didn’t see that coming?”

“It’s been a long, long time.”

“What if all the things I’ve done we’re just attempts at earning love?”

“George misses Marie. George misses a lot. George is alone.”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“I love you 3000.”

“So, you better run for cover when the pup grows-” *gunshot*

“I could look at him forever.”

“What if who I hoped to be was always me?”

“Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what’s on the other side?”

“Is a better home awaiting in the sky?”

“My love, are you sitting down?”

“It felt like my life, but a better version.”

“I held onto my life and who I was with you.”

“We could just kiss like real people do.”

“Leave me to dream.”

“George would have liked to seen people out strolling on Sunday.”

“Move on.”

“Chimerical. C-H-I-M-E-R-I-C-A-L. Highly unrealistic, widely fanciful.”

“I love you.”

“I think dad is angry, ma, and I do not know what to do.”

“I think he takes out on me what he wants to take out on you.”

“How I wish you were home.”

“Nothing can make sense of all these things I’ve done.”

“No, I’d rather pretend I’m something better than these broken parts. Pretend I’m something better than this mess that I am.”

“Cause what if everyone saw? What if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they hate it too?”

“I think I’m made of stone.”

“I should be feeling more.”

“You can still be what you want to.”

“It’s just medicine.”

“Seeing all the parts but none of the whole.”

“And it burns inside his eyes.”

“And you catch him now and then.”

“So you want him even more.”

“But he’s never really there.”

“We do not belong together.”

“We do not belong together, and we should have belonged together.”

“I care about many things.”

“Things, not people.”

“Who am I to say what any of this means?”

“I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen.”

“I have been half myself for more than half my life.”

“Fall in love again, and again, and again.”

“Are you going to age with grace?”

“You taught me the courage of stars before you left.”

“Who cares what you are listening to, it’s who you’re listening with.”

“It’s sad but true how much I miss you. I miss you, Cecily Smith.”

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ Let’s change the subject! ❞

❝ This is a weird conversation and I want to talk about a book I read about World War II.❞

❝ Whoever did kill her only did it to protect her from this world. ❞

❝ Ah, none of us really know their fathers. ❞

❝ I was sitting over on the bench. ❞

❝ You saw what happened and did nothing! ❞

❝ Sometimes, he was gay. ❞

❝ When he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work. ❞

❝ I never talked to my dad about that but I figured I’d tell you. ❞

❝ Freebasing is the greatest orgasm known to man. ❞

❝ I’ve been sober now two weeks. Well, weekdays, not weekends. ❞

❝ What was so funny? I wanna know. ❞

❝ None of that matters but it’s important to me that you know that.  ❞

❝ Phonebooks don’t leave bruises. ❞

❝ Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money! ❞

❝ I thought I’d be dead in a trunk by now. ❞

❝ You spent it already?! ❞

❝ Where’s the money? ❞

❝ I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and adderall. ❞

❝ Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep? ❞

❝ That’s illegal! They tricked me! ❞

❝ I paid 120,000 dollars for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t!❞

❝ If it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep-shirt. ❞

❝ Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? ❞

❝ Jokes don’t do well in court. ❞

❝ I’m in the phase right before Old. ❞

❝ I am damp all the time. ❞

❝ I am gross. ❞

❝ UGHHHHH – you know, life. ❞

❝ I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room. ❞

❝ I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason. ❞

❝ Let’s just not see each other for eight months and it doesn’t matter at all. ❞

❝ I was raised to be nice to everyone in every situation because you never know their story. ❞

❝ A lot of people don’t seem that nice and they seem to be doing fine in the world. ❞

❝ Not everyone thinks the same things are nice. ❞

❝ Famous people are weird as shit. ❞

❝ Your suspicions are correct. ❞

❝ I say ‘knock-knock’ out loud.❞

❝ The world is run by robots and we spend most of our time telling them we’re not a robot. ❞

❝ Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.❞

❝ It seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time. ❞

❝ I try to stay optimistic even though things seem to be getting a little sticky. ❞

❝ I don’t remember that in Hamilton. ❞

❝ I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. ❞

❝ What do you think they’re celebrating? ❞

❝ I wasn’t raised catholic and I’m fucking glad I wasn’t because it’s a fucked up organization. ❞

❝ That should be the slogan of the catholic church: It’s an hour! ❞

❝ God can’t hear you. ❞

❝ First of all, get out of here with your facts. Just ‘cause you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting. ❞

❝ A charming anecdote that was fake and never happened. ❞

❝ These meaningless politeness rules! ❞

❝ I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. ❞

❝ My wife is a bitch and I like her so much. ❞ 

❝ I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change. ❞

❝ I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff. ❞

❝ Brush your teeth! Now boom, orange juice! That’s life. ❞

❝ College is a $120,000 hooker and you’re the idiot who fell in love with her.❞

❝ STREET SMARTS! ❞