#revalek

I'm not even really working on it right now but the protagonist Malak timeline has kinda burrowed itself in my brain again... I have no idea about like. The actual plot. Mostly Alak is just trying to ignore the Republic, avoid the Jedi, and also figure out what the fuck he and Revan were doing after the war that led them to invading the Republic and also why Revan just collapsed and nearly died back on the Star Forge. And meanwhile Revan themself is refusing to tell him anything. They're not actually resisting being dragged around or fighting him really, they're shockingly mellow honestly, but they are entirely unhelpful. Any attempt at asking them for information about what happened is met with silence. More generic stuff they may answer if explicitly asked but they will not volunteer it. They are consistently neglectful of themself to the point of self harm and it's driving Alak up the wall. He wants to help. He will. By the force he will not give up. But sometimes he just can't deal with it. Sometimes he just breaks, and then he has to leave or he will do something he will regret later. Jolee is usually the emergency net in those situations and he sticks around to have an eye on Revan (Alak does not trust Bastila (or Canderous but for wildly different reasons) with them alone, Carth doesn't want to, Zaalbaar doesn't exactly have the qualifications for this, and Revan would eat Mission and Juhani alive) and Canderous is a willing sparring partner. And during one of those breaks after Alak storms off, after some needling Revan admits to Jolee that they're doing it (or at least some of it) on purpose. "...the more I drag my feet now, the more difficult I make it... If he does find out, if he does get there anyway, he'll have earned it. And then maybe he'll survive." When Alak learns that it really, really does not help, and he's working so hard on himself, to keep himself under control and not break, not fall back onto bad habits, into the dark side, but in that moment he turns to Revan and very, very earnestly threatens Kreia's life. If he ever sees Revan's old Master again he will kill her. Because that is exactly her rhetoric. It was her who put that into their head. And he can't threaten Revan, not even now, he doesn't want to, but he is so damn angry and Kreia deserves it. Not that Revan doesn't. And he is angry at Revan. Livid at times. But the entire point of this is to keep Revan alive. To get Revan out of whatever they're stuck in. To save Revan from whatever nearly killed them and from themself. He knew it wouldn't be easy, he's known that from the moment he made that decision, long before they even met again, but really, really wishes they would stop actively trying to sabotage his efforts.

Btw on the topic of Revan, this is yet another queerplatonic Revalek theme song to me

Thinking about Queerplatonic Revalek again and about aroace Revan/allo Malak... About them being friends since they were children, and it was so easy then, to love each other when you're six years old and you can fill each other's world completely because you're small and they're small, and you just fit together. And then eventually puberty hits Alek like a truck but it sneaks up on Revan. It's not so difficult at first, it doesn't change that much, except Alek is growing like a fucking weed and he keeps tripping over his suddenly long legs, but it's not that different. Except when it suddenly is. Except when suddenly everyone else in their age group, and Alek, gets weird about each other, and talks about kissing and sex and about others being hot and Revan just does not understand. And they're still friends, they still belong together, they still have the bond, of course they do, but Alek keeps looking at girls, and he says these things and Revan can't help but be jealous, except they don't really understand of what even, because they don't want what Alek is talking about, they don't understand any of that talk about romance or sexual attraction that is floating about and the Masters keep trying to warn them about, and they know Alek won't just drop them, they're in each others heads, of course they know but... But. The longer it goes on the more there is that anxious buzz, that low fear that he will. That he will leave. That someone else will be more important. Because that is what everyone else is saying, that love is the strongest temptation, that it will draw you away from everything important, make you forget about everything else. And they never seem to mean what Revan is feeling, even though they do love him, more than anything else, more than they could imagine loving anyone or anything else, but it doesn't fit with what they're talking about. What Alek is talking about. And so they stew in it for years, shove that stupid illogical fear into the furthest corner of their mind where it stays, a constant low buzz of anxiety that they won't be enough one day, to come back to, while Alek goes out to explore, to learn about himself, to fuck around honestly, and they don't begrudge him that, they like it when he's happy, and he does come back. But what if one day he won't. What if he will be happier with someone else, with that other love people keep talking about.

do tou have any songs for revalek :3?