#returned

Bumblebee glanced at you, quickly looking back at Optimus when you met his gaze. From there on out, his optics stayed firmly fixed on his leader, too afraid of what he might see in your eyes.

The two of you had been in love once. Then, Optimus ordered Bumblebee to fake his death and to leave Earth. At the time, Bumblebee had asked about you, his spark-mate, but Optimus forbade him from telling even you about his mission. At the time, it had seemed reasonable, but now seeing you again, older, sadder, different yet somewhat similar, Bumblebee wished he had fought harder to keep you in his life. Granted, he valued little over Optimus’ leadership, but even great leaders could be wrong every once in a while.

“Meeting adjourned,” Optimus finished, having re-acquainted the team with Bumblebee and provided him with his mission with the Maltos.

It was then that Bumblebee knew he had to say something to you, an apology, a request to talk, anything, but when he looked over, you were already walking away.

“(Y/N),” He called your name and you stopped at your car, waiting silently for him to say what he had to say.

Bumblebee hadn’t expected the silent treatment. That was somehow worse than if you began screaming at him.

“I- I’m glad to see you again,” Bumblebee started hopefully, but by the way your expression closed off, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. “Look, I-” He went quiet as a Megatron drove past, feelin suddenly paranoid that a GHOST Agent might have followed the ex-warlord.

“I don’t have long,” He sighed. “But I’ll meet you at your place and we can talk.”

“Oh, can we?” You said, clapping your hands together sarcastically. “The great and almighty Bumblebee has time to talk to me?”

“Uhh,” Bumblebee stepped back nervously, even though there was nothing you could do to hurt him; your sharp demeanour was enough to make him nervous. “(Y/N), I-”

“I thought you were dead!” You huffed, tears in your eyes as you glared up at him, wishing you could be happy that he was back, but pained by the fact he had chosen isolation over you. “There was a funeral for you and I had to stand by as Optimus read your final rites. Oh, but silly me. You were alive all along and he knew it. That must have been a good laugh for the two of you.”

Bumblebee was speechless as you wrapped your arms around yourself, a sign you were feeling vulnerable.

“I loved you Bumblebee, and I would have done anything for you… I would have waited for you or gone to that damned space station with you. But I guess that was just me being naïve. You just didn’t feel the same, did you? I guess I wasn’t worth fighting for.”

Bumblebee reached his hand towards you, “(Y/N)-”

“Leave me alone Bee. Just do your mission and whatever else Optimus tells you. You’re good at that.” With that, you got into your car and drove away, heading home where you would be able to cry over all you had learned.

Bumblebee found the following weeks almost unbearable. He worked with the Malto-Bots. You also visited the Malto’s homestead from time to time, teaching the young bots about life on Earth and culture from your perspective; it helped the younglings to have someone else around who they weren’t related to, to listen to their problems, offer guidance, and generally be there for them.

Yet, when you visited, you were quiet and shut off around Bumblebee, treating him with professional courtesy and nothing more. Sometimes, it seemed like you hated him, but then your mask would slip and you would say something kind, reminisce over a private moment with him or laugh at one of his jokes only to excuse yourself afterwards and go back to that cool professionalism which he hated.

He knew he had hurt you and he couldn’t expect things to go back exactly the way they were. He had changed, as had you, but by Primus, he wanted you back. Well, if that was going to happen, then he knew he had to go back to basics. Flowers and a moonlit walk were a good place to start. It wouldn’t solve all of your shared problems, but it would make his intentions clear and hopefully break the ice that had formed in the years you had been apart.

Bumblebee held the bouquet he had picked for you by his side, trying not to gesture too wildly while he practised his speech on the walk to the farmhouse GHOST had provided for you.

“I think you should try forgiving me-” He shook his helm, “No, that sounds like I’m blaming them. Okay, things have been hard the last few years but I think we should give it another shot and- That’s not it.”

Bumblebee vented air through his systems, taking a minute before trying again, all too aware he was running out of time to practice, “Look (Y/N), we still have to work together, and if we’re working together you can stand to be around me and-”

“And you think that’s a good enough reason to get back together?” You said incredulously, startling Bumblebee as you stepped out of your car.

“(Y/N)! Uh, no- I mean- I wanted to- That wasn’t the final speech- I thought you were inside,” He pointed accusingly at your house, stammering, “I-I mean, I was supposed to have more time and- and- These are for you!” He thrust his servo at you, showing off his bouquet.

You raised an eyebrow bemusedly, “That’s ragwort.”

“Yes?” Bumblebee agreed uncertainly, hoping you liked ragwort since you knew what it was.

“It’s poisonous.”

“ARGH!” Bumblebee threw the weeds to the ground, crushing them with his pede. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Obviously.”

“Are you mad?”

You allowed yourself a small mirthful smile, “At this? No.”

“And at me?”

Your smile faded, “Jury’s still out. It depends on what you’re going to say in the final draft of that speech you were practising.”

“Right…” Bumblebee deflated. He didn’t know what he was going to say. He expected that the right words would come out, just like they used to when he visited you in days long gone. He opened his mouth, trusting his spark to lead him to the right words, “I- I miss you.”

You looked sad at that. “I know, Bee. I miss you too, but it’s not enough. I’m sorry.”

You turned away from him, ready to retire inside for the night.

“Wait,” Bumblebee begged, “Please.”

You hesitated, giving him your full attention, despite the pain he was causing you.

“I miss you,” He said again. “I miss us. I wish I could turn back the clock and that I’d fought harder for you but… But I can’t. All I can do is try to make things right, now. I was an idiot back then. I’m still kind of an idiot, but I want us to be together and I want to fight for this. Please, just tell me there’s a chance and I’ll do anything. I love you. I always have.”

You stared up at Bumblebee warily, wanting to lower your defences but scared that if you did, he would leave you again or worse, that he might actually die this time. Yet, as you opened your mouth to reject him, the words wouldn’t come out.

However, you couldn’t readily accept him either. Your relationship with him was in an odd state of limbo. There was too much history to start anew, but you couldn’t simply pick up where you left off.

Looking into Bumblebee’s desperate optics, you knew you had to make a decision immediately.

You sighed, “Look, I’m not promising anything but let’s- Let’s go for a walk and see where the night takes us.”