#return?

"Shadow where are u?" "Shadow you used to be so active" "what happened to Shadow?"

Life happened, I lost my cat who was my ESA, was forced to leave my childhood home, and had to stop taking my walks meant to keep my sanity in tact.

Not long after I moved I lost two of my childhood dogs one to cancer, & the other to my damn shitty landlords saying he was too loud so we had to find a new home for him. One of my cats is missing and has yet to be found, he's been missing for a month at this point his sister has been screaming her head off since

I'm trying to fix my sleep schedule as a huge depression spike had me going nights without proper sleep. Night terrors returned during this time as well and haven't calmed down so I wake up throughout the night in cold sweats or crying.

I've started to hate one of my ocs who I once loved because of all this, as I can't see or draw him without getting reminded that 'oh yea he was made during a time where I was disassociating constantly. Still am.

The whole reason went on hiatus was because of this, the whole reason I went inactive on any and all my socials. I left everything without saying anything and I apologize for that, I want to apologize to my friend @/jesterlovescookies especially as I left him without any sense of where I went or what happened to me I've since told him that I just went on hiatus due to my declining mental state and health but I still feel hella sorry.

On a lighter note, I am making a slow return. I am not gonna promise anything, but you may have noticed reposts here and there of Forsaken which is my current Hyperfixation as I just need a break from the toxic place the crk fandom has become.

I have a lot of art I've done of Forsaken especially Two-Time and my forsaken Oc winter, i'll share em eventually just not now. I hope you guys understand

I’ve been gone for a while. It sort of sucks that its come to this but lately I haven’t had the motivation or time to write. I really do want to come back because it was so much fun but with only two days to do this, I don’t know if it would feasible or fair to any partners I would write with. 

I’ve been tempted to come back due to a few people reaching out. I love that so much, that even though I’ve been gone for so long, you’re still willing to roleplay with me. The thing is, and this is through nobody’s fault, aside from some friends I could count on one hand, I don’t get many interactions. Most things I send fall on deft ears and I’m afraid that if I do come back, that I will be putting time and energy into something that, in the end, won’t matter because all of these muses will be as they are right now: sitting on a shelf and collecting dust. 

Believe me, I would love to come back but I am conflicted. I just don’t know if it would be worth it. I might need some convincing otherwise. 

If you’re a mutual, let me know if you want to see me come back.

If you follow me, show me that you are still interested in what I do.

If we’ve never interacted, now’s the time to do so.

Right now I feel like I need something that says that I’m still wanted in the RPC. Just a little something I can hold onto that will tell me its worth it. You and your muses are worth it.

You haven't seen my new stories in a very long time, so it's possible that some of you have forgotten I exist at all.

I sincerely apologize to those who were so eager to read my new stories. Unfortunately, studying at the University completely deprived me of inspiration.

But I've been isolated recently because of Covid-19, so maybe I'll write a couple of new stories. See you soon ;)

If actually thought about that a surprising amount. There was a suspicious ask a while ago and I won’t say it’s Shane because, well it feels kind of up myself to say that Shane’s seen this blog, but it could’ve been

This is the ask I’m most suspicious about

And then there’s this ask which connects to this suggestion from a different anon

(The things that are referenced in the last ask can be found here if you missed it, there was morse code added to the end of Believe Me Maizey on soundcloud)