Emo Shit

Twenty One Pilots (Blurryface and earlier) has become something too personal to me. I rarely listen to them, because it makes me feel like I’m 16 again, crying alone in my room at my parents house. Sometimes it is almost triggering. The lore feels overwhelming, like I want to know more, but trying to learn it feels hard. My gut wrenches when I look at old videos of them performing to smaller audiences, I love and hate the raw emotion of Tyler’s screams, and him imitating sh. I remember being so exited for Trench after the hiatus. I don’t want to hear the songs (that I used to play from my speaker to everyone and explain the meanings), unless I’m alone. It feels too personal now. I’ve come so far from that place, but I might be slipping back. I feel like I’m 16 desperately trying to hide my problems, but still wanting help. I should’ve asked for help then. Often I feel like I haven’t aged at all.