#retailanonymous

    Something we have all dealt with at some part of our time working in retail is a here or there. Here is a list of the top ten crazy returns that I have dealt with while working in retail over the years.

10. A Three Year Old Pair of Shoes.

    A customer once wanted to return a three year old pair of shoes while I was working at Walmart. He had kept the receipt the entire time, and said that there were falling apart. Worst thing about it was that my manager at the time actually wanted me to return them. I refused.

9. Half Bag of Used Adult Diapers.

    Another incident of my time while I was working for Walmart. Because they were a store brand we were allowed to return them, but she did not understand that she did NOT need to bring in the used ones to “show” us that they leaked. Nor did she need to place the trash bag containing them directly on my counter.

8. Stolen Beer.

    This has happened both at Walmart as well as CVS. We often get teenagers come in and run out with a case of beer. I would say that this happens about every month or so. Well not just once, but twice now I have had the teenagers come back into the store to return the beer, because they bought the wrong ones. Not only can neither store return beer without a receipt, but we remember you and we do call the police.

7. Used Condoms

   Happens at CVS at least once a month, but sometimes we may even have it happen twice in the same week. Sometimes people will bring in a used condom with a receipt and ask for their money back. On more than one occasion I have had someone bring it in and then leave it on the counter. I have had to kick people out. While on one occasion I even told a customer to buy a smaller size, so it didn’t slip off. Talk about a way to make someone compensate.

6. Used Pregnancy Test

    I have actually had a woman try to return a used positive pregnancy test, because she claimed that she could not be pregnant because her boyfriends, yes as in plural always use condoms. I actually congratulated her and told her that I could not return the item, but would be glad to show her our CVS brand prenatal vitamins.

5. Cigarettes

    I love it when a customer has the audacity to lie right in my face. This happened at CVS awhile back. This is also long after CVS stopped selling tobacco, and I had a customer come into my store with a carton of cigarettes wanting a refund. Of course there was no receipt and he proclaimed that he had purchased them the day before. I had the privilege to tell him that he was wrong as CVS had stopped selling tobacco more than a year ago. He then asked me if he could get store credit…

4. A Competitors Brand Vitamin

    Here is another return from my time working for CVS. I once had a customer try to return a Walgreens brand bottle of vitamins to our store. She even had a receipt and everything. I told her that she was at CVS and she did not care, she demanded a refund. I ended up having to call the Walgreens manager across the street to talk some sense into her. She seriously thought we were the same company, and that she could return a Walgreens product at CVS. She also ended up calling corporate on me, and was given a $20 CVS gift card. I wonder if she tried to use it at Walgreens.

3. A Bottle of Laundry Soap Replaced with Water

    There is a reason we have to open item when doing returns, and this is a great example. Surprisingly it is also very common. Come customers will buy expensive shampoos or laundry detergents and either water it down or empty the container completely and refill it with water. This happened at least once a week when I worked at Walmart, and more often than not if the customer claimed that they “bought it that way” we were forced to issue a full refund.

2. Coupons

    Another reason why I despise extreme couponer who does not have it all together is because sometimes they will claim that they forgot to give us a coupon. Most companies would simply say oh well to the customer, but depending on the day and the district manager’s attitude that week. We may be asked to do a refund to the customer for not using a coupon that they themselves forgot to give us. What a world we live in.

1. A live Puppy.

  Understandable CVS and Walgreens are often mixed up. They are both pharmacy stores with a front end riddled with sales. I work at CVS and our sales are often opposite of what Walgreens sales are. For instance if Walgreens has Coke on sale, we often have Pepsi on sale. Despite what many believe this is actually very beneficial to both companies, and is often the reason why they are built across from each other. What drives me crazy is when customers come into the store; you know the one with the giant neon “CVS” sign on the front, as well as the dozens of signs throughout the store and still think they are at Walgreens. This is about one of those customers.

  I had just come back from lunch and therefore I was getting ready to start collecting registers when I got a call from my cashier at the front stating that he really needed some help up front. In my mind I am thinking that maybe he has a bit of a line, or maybe a couponer was up front and that he needed an override. Instead when I get up there I see a little old lady who is clearly upset. I make my way around the corner when this little silver haired warrior immediately let me have it. I did not even have the chance to ask what was wrong when she started yelling that I need to fire my cashier for not giving her the sale price. I let her scream at me for a few moments before I asked her what she bought that was supposed to be on sale. She being her snippy little self immediately pulled out a couple bottle of shampoo, as well as pointing to her diet coke. I had a feeling that they were our last week’s sale, and that they were now on sale at Walgreens, so I pulled out one of my sales ads and showed her that the items were not on sale, but in fact that they were on sale at Walgreens. This little old lady who could not have weighed more than 85 pounds screamed at me “DO YOU THINK I AM STUPID” to which I replied that I did not think she was stupid, but that she was at CVS not at Walgreens. She went on to tell me that they are the same, and that they are owned by the same company, which is not true.

  At this point my cashier was working hard on the line that had formed behind this lady, and although I wanted to just be done with this lady; I offered to return her items, so that she could go across the street and get her sale prices. She refused and demanded that I go ahead and give her the sale price. I had offered her a refund, she was blocking my line, so finally I told her that if she does not want a refund then there is nothing I can do for her and that she needed to step aside so I could cater to the other customers behind her. This set her off and she started yelling in front of customers and my cashier and I that we had no respect for the elderly, and that we should have just given her the price. At this time a middle aged man in the line screamed at her “YOU’RE AT THE WRONG DAMN STORE LADY!” “He offered you a refund and has been helpful so either take it or get out.” She turned to me and started telling me that I needed to have him removed from the building, at this point I am trying to hold back the flood of laughter that is about to burst, and I told her I am sorry mam but if you do not want the refund than I cannot help you, “Then looked to the line, and said “Next person please.”

  I tried to help this lady out, I went above and beyond, but I could not break company policy and give her a nonexistent sale price. Just goes to show that working in retail has those days worse than others.

     If you have ever worked as a cashier then you know what I mean when I say that election year can be memorable experience at the registers. Having a customer come to you line while you make small talk suddenly start talking about those damn liberal democrats, or those bible thumping republicans can be quite funny, and quite aggravating at the same time. The same goes when someone comes in and when checking out starts asking you about god. Next thing you know you have half a dozen business cards, flyers and suddenly have Sunday morning plans. I am working on a register; I do not have the time nor the interest to discuss my political views, or my relationship with god.

  The worst thing about this special breed of people is the complete lack of “no” in their vocabulary. For instance I never tell anyone who is asking me about politics my views nor do I agree with what they are saying. They immediately assume that you are the opposite of whatever view you have, then you have to explain that you are simply working, and do not discuss politics with customers. The same can be said with overly religious people. I can tell them that I already belong to a church, and instead of simply acknowledging and moving on far too often than not they wasn’t to argue as to why I should visit their church, or why my church is wrong.

 I have no problem with religion or politics, I vote, and I am a Christian. I do have a problem when you want to come into a public place and shove your views down some helpless employee’s throat. My CVS store often has Jehovah Witnesses that come in. They are polite, but always trying to convert the employees. They use the restrooms and place flyers on our mirrors and doors. If you are unlucky enough to have to check them out then you are guaranteed to receive either a flyer or a business card.  All of which end up in the trash shredded to a pulp the very second they leave the store.

  The same goes with politics. We often get people putting flyers on our front doors, or even signs in out lawn. I do not care if they are for Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, or The Rent is Too Damn High Party, that crap is immediately going into our high capacity trash compactor.

  Customers, look maybe I came off a bit harsh. I do not mean for it to be taken personally, I will debate politics or religion with you as soon as I leave the store. But when I am at work, when I cannot agree or disagree with you, please leave me the hell alone. Nothing against you, but you are not going to suddenly get my vote, or suddenly get me to convert by shoving big words or by screaming damnation to me why I am at work.

Until Wednesday, -Rex

  We all have those little plastic loyalty cards littered on our keychains and filling up our wallets. I admit that I still have some cards from places I have only ever visited once or twice. We all fall into the trap. We see what we think is a great deal only to find out that the price is much higher without a store loyalty card. More often than not, they are free provided you give up a little information such as a name and email. This is a story of a recent experience I had with a customer about the CVS ExtraCare program.

  I was having a bit of a slow March Wednesday. Everything was going great which is a rare treat when you work in retail. I was watching the registers while my cashier was on lunch, and a young woman maybe in her late twenties came to my register. She was your typical Starbucks, white IPhone, and Ugg boots kind of woman. She came up to me with a basket full of Shampoo that was on sale for only $1.99 which was normally $6.99. I would say that about 95% of the sales that CVS has at any given time require an ExtraCare card. I do my normal routine of saying hello, and asking her if she found everything okay. Then I move on to something I always ask, “Do you have an ExtraCare card?” to which she simply replies no, I than always ask, “would you like to sign up for one to receive any sale prices?’ Again she replies no while staring at her phone. I shrug it off and proceeded to start ringing everything up.

  I had not even scanned two bottles of the shampoo when she suddenly started yelling at me that I was overcharging her, and that the bottles were supposed to be only $1.99 Great I thought. So I stop scanning everything and explain to her that the sale requires the card, to which she loudly exclaims that I am wrong, and that I do not know how to do my job. She tells me that it does not say that in the sales ad, nor does it say that it requires a card on the sign we have under the item. I knew that was a lie, as all of the sales stickers and signs we receive from the company or print out are pre-made and state at the bottom “with card” By this point I already had two other people in line, and I was the only one working at the front. So I take her to the aisle and show her the sign that says “with card” This just angers her even more as she then starts telling me that this is false advertising and that she is entitled to the price even if she does not have a card.

  I am beyond frustrated at this point because she is holding up my line. I again asked her if she wanted to sign up for a card to which she finally agrees to. I grab a blank card, and get her name phone number then ask her for the email. I kid you not; while she is on her phone on Twitter feed she tells me that she does not have one. Customers in line at this point are visually aggravated so I apologize to them and tell them that my cashier is on lunch but I am sure my pharmacy could check them out. I was done taking crap from this entitled know it all and told her that she does in fact have an email, or she wouldn’t be able to look at her Twitter account right in front of me. The look on her face was priceless. She knew she was caught and simply told me that she gets enough span in her inbox.

  I told her that the first email she gets has an option to change email preferences and that it was required for the card, thus required for the sale price. So she starts spelling out her email to me which was obviously a fake email, I try to enter it into the computer and it is rejected telling me that the email needs to be a valid email address. I tell her this and she swears up and down that it was the right one. I am DONE at this point and tell her that if she wanted the sale price then she would need to enroll, I have other customers in line that I need to help and that if she was unwilling to sign up or pay the non-sale price then she would need to step aside so I could help what was about to be a rioting mob waiting behind her.

  She ended up signing up, and I was able to go about getting the line down. During which quite a few customers (all of whom had their cards ready to scan) made remarks about the woman. I politely explained to them it happens often, and was polite and quick.

  About a week later we receive our survey comments back and long and behold she not only got a survey emailed to her, she actually completed it. In the survey she gave me negative scores, and said that I should have just scanned my own card. This would have ended up with me being fired; not to mention the fact that the register prevents it. I showed my store manager the survey, as well as the security tapes to which she immediately started laughing. Then she gave me a certificate showing that I had 5 out of 5 on my average survey results from that month.

  Just goes to show that you cannot please everyone.

  Let me start off that working at Petsmart did one thing and one thing only for me. Working there really gave me the chance to define my morals. Since our store had no security cameras employee theft was rampant, and try and take a break at this place and suddenly you would have bathroom duty for weeks. Working for that location was one of the best opportunities in my life, yet also one of the worst decisions in my life.

  Sharon the store manager was informed of a product recall for a popular flea and tick preventative medications for dogs and cats. I found out when coming in that morning and checking my company email. I immediately took the items out of our inventory on our computer system that way if any customers attempted to purchase the item my cashiers would be unable to ring up the item and require assistance which would give me the chance to inform the customer of the recall. Afterwards I began my routine inspection of the store, then moved on to taking the product off the shelves. After about twenty minutes Sharon came up and asked why I was taking the product off the shelves, and when I informed her of the recall she stated that she knew, but since we had such a large inventory it would cost too much send it back. So Sharon told me that I was to put the product back on the shelves, reenter them in our electronic inventory system and go about my day as if I had never seen them.

  Needless to say I was shocked by her statements and tried to get her to change her mind. When she was unwilling to budge I reluctantly told her that I would add the items back to our inventory after my lunch break, all while knowing she was going to be leaving for the day well before. After Sharon left for the day I went about taking the product that I had already removed and proceeded to begin the return protocols for a recall item. I ended up staying three hours over my scheduled shift in order to make sure that I had the items properly packed and ready to be sent back that next morning before her arrival. If I had everything scanned out and reports printed then there was no way that she could simply re enter the items into our electronic inventory system. When she found out the next morning she threatened to have me fired for insubordination and staying past our payroll. At this point I did not care what she had to say. She had tried to get me to leave products that could have been dangerous to our pets out for sale, so I ended up telling her that if that is what she wanted to do then she should go ahead and do just that. I also told her that my morals are worth more than any job, and that if she did end up firing me then I was taking her down with me. I would be calling the district manager, the news stations and even our ethics line. I have always held the belief that your morals are always worth more than any job, and by doing what I did I was able to prove those beliefs to myself.

  Those of you who work in retail know when I say that bathroom duty (pun intended) can make or break a night. It can make a night when everything is clean already, and all you really end up doing is changing out the trash. On the other hand it can horribly ruin your day when that special class of people pays your restroom a visit.

  I am talking about the people who leave dirty diapers on the floor or the counter, as well as those that seem to know nothing about aiming both while urinating as well as um, other business.

  Today's story is about one of those days. I was 17 at the time, and I was a customer Service Manager for Wally-World. I was having quite the exceptional day, everything was going smoothly, and really the shift was going by fast. I should have known that a day like that doesn't exist when you're making $8.25 an hour working at Walmart.

  Everything started to happen around 7:00 PM when we had noticed that a customer had been in our private restroom, usually meant for mothers with young children and handicapped people for well over an hour. We were  for the most part used to this, as some people would use our restrooms to do more than just relieve themselves. We ignored it, and went about our day.

  I worked with other customer service manager named Terra (name changed of course) who was a godsend. She was the by far the only reason I stayed there for so long. She was like a second mother to me. Well Terra also was a bit older and tended to need to use the restroom often. She had just left to use the restroom when she came back less than a minute later, and told me to walk into the private restroom. I knew by her colorless express that is was going to be bad, but in my seventeen years, I had never seen anything as revolting.

  As soon as I approached the door, the smell hit me. I had already gone this far, so at this point I was "in it for the win" when i opened the door it had looked like a poop infused stick of TNT had gone off. There were thick globs of runny goop smeared all over the toilet seat, the walls surrounding the toilet, as well as the floor. Looking back on it I often think of it as that scene from Daddy Daycare. There was a pair of almost unrecognizable tighty whities, or tighty brownies lying on the floor next to the sink. There was crap on the sink, the mirror, even on the paper towel dispenser. I have never seen so much crap in my entire life! I can only imagine that the person must not have taken a dump in at least two weeks.

  I ran out of there almost losing my lunch in the process and said the hell with this I do not get paid ANYWHERE near enough to deal with this. I taped up the door, and went into my store manager’s office. I searched through his contact book until I found our emergency biohazard cleanup crew. Mind you I had the full backing of my other manager on duty, and we could not get ahold of the store manager, or assistant manager. Both of which would have told us to clean it ourselves, like hell we would!