Long post about Repetitive Restrictive Behaviors, OCD, and Stress
I’ve been struggling a lot with Repetitive and Restrictive Behaviors
More specifically tactile stims and tics. Some of these things i can recognize as more voluntary tactile stims that ive done for a long time. But i often get locked into a restrictive and stressful loop of doing these stimulatory actions.
This has brought to mind some questions about the overlap and differences between Autism and OCD, with comorbity in mind.
since a kid i’ve had a few long with standing tactile stims/tics:
Hard, repetitive, excessive blinking.
Snorting
Excessive toe curling and interlocking of toes
Hard, repetitive, excessive scrunching and stretching of nose and philtrum
Clenching teeth
Picking and peeling skin
Uncontrollable nail biting
Rolling eyes back with eyes closed
Pattern walking by way of trying to step on cracks with consistent foot coverage and pressure
Some of these are a lot more visible than others but the visible ones gave me enough trouble in the past that i involuntarily developed more covert habits that stimulate the same area
which brings me to a tic that has been plaguing me for over a year now:
Excessively and roughly pressing my tongue against my soft palate
This is something that started as a self regulatory behavior triggered by emotional and environmental stimuli. Now i get into these loops where i can’t stop doing it and it stresses me out and hurts lol.
The same is true for the list of tactile stims above. I think i start doing them to self soothe then once i make the specific sort of contact i get fixated on how the pressure, contact, or motion should feel and then can’t stop repeating it.
This makes me wonder about the possibility of certain things manifesting as autism symptoms, ocd symptoms, or both.
To give some more context, I’m not diagnosed or self diagnosed as OCD. I am diagnosed ASD and ADHD. However, at the start of my mental health treatment journey the psychiatrist i was seeing identified and notated disruptive OCD symptoms that they expected my previously prescribed Prozac to help with. It did help but it also made me manic so they banned me from Prozac. (long story for another time or another blog lol)
In more recent psychiatric visits my intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors were outlined noted and proclaimed to possibly be elevated by my newly prescribed Abilify which i haven’t taken yet as i struggle with change and especially change in self care routine.
All that is to say that there does seem to be some overlap between ASD and OCD in my experience. This was corroborated in conversation with my friend who is diagnosed OCD we related when i mentioned these compulsive behaviors
Accidentally touching something in passing only to have to return and touch it properly with the “correct amount of pressure”
Intrusive thoughts of harm scenarios involving self and others
Intrusive thoughts surrounding health anxiety
drinking things in intervals of eleven
applying a correct numbered increment to actions and avoiding certain numbers
having to flip a switch or hold an object in just the right way
constant redoing of motions until they feel right
Something that initially made me unsure regarding classifying these behaviors as OCD is the fact that there doesn’t seem to be an anxious “what if i dont do this, something bad may happen” feeling triggering these things. That perspective may be naive or ignorant on my part tho which is why i’m diving deeper to learn more.
One thing positive i can say is that writing this post helped me redirect my nervous system while i was suffering due to these repetitive restrictive behaviors right before writing this. i’ve regulated a little
