#responsibledad

The next time the rest of the group went out on another mission, it was Steve who stayed behind to watch you.

While Wanda and Pietro both offered immediately to stay behind and help with anything you needed, Steve said it wouldn’t be fair since they’ve already missed a lot while helping you. You felt bad for making him stay behind, but when they left, he assured you that it was okay, saying he was still a little sore from training earlier that day with Natasha.

“Did she pull out the nunchucks again?”

“Yeah” he muttered with a laugh while rubbing a sore spot on his neck. “I can avoid knives, bullets, even arrows, but for some reason the nunchucks always get me.”

“Oh well. Who even uses nunchucks anyways?” You replied, handing him the crust from the pizza you were eating. At first, he raised an eyebrow as if to say you’re kidding, right?, but he took it without another word and munched on it quietly.

When you first joined the Avengers, you immediately took to everyone but Steve. He hated how you lived on a whimsy and you disliked his soldier-like adherence to rules, and no matter how hard the two of you tried, it was difficult to work together in the field. You defied his orders constantly and while most of the time it worked out in your favor, he wasn’t too keen on someone who willingly ignored him all the time in dangerous situations.

It took the destruction of SHIELD for him to finally see things from your perspective.

During the collapse of his previous employer, he found himself weaving through a web of lies and deception, and while he wasn’t always keen on breaking the rules, he found himself practically throwing them in the dumpster in order to save the lives of billions. As soon as he returned, he started warming up to you and your courage to break away from the norm, and you too found yourself growing closer to the Capsicle over time.

While you hadn’t understood his rules before when it came to battles, you learned to respect him more and follow along with what he said more often, which worked out better than you ever expected. He appreciated you more for it, and not before long, he was one of your best friends. You hated to call him a father figure, but since your own father was pretty shitty and one of the reasons you ran away from home, you figured Steve was the closest to the label that you had ever had.

“Did you know that I suggested Wanda stay behind so you two could try to be friends again?” Steve asked, looking up from his book.

You didn’t even look up from your own before you giggled and replied. “I had a hunch, but I didn’t want to say anything.”

He smiled, returning to the page he was on. “Well, I’m just glad things worked out for the better.”

You nodded and muttered a small “mhm” before returning to your book as well.

After a few moments of silence, he paused and looked up at you with a serious face. “Hey, ____. Have you used your powers in a while?”

“No, why?”

He sat silently, his jaw suddenly locking a bit. “Steve, why?” you asked again.

“Where exactly is that bump again?”

Your eyes widened as you realized what he was trying to say. You looked down at the wound and muttered a small “shit” before looking back up at him.

You stood up quickly, using his arm to steady yourself, and tried to teleport. Sweat was dripping down your forehead and you were feeling dizzy, but that nervous part of you needed to know, and fast.

“Hold on, let’s not rush to conclusions here.”

“No Steve, it was right THERE. I got shot right where it should be. I NEED TO KNOW.” You shouted, almost falling over again. You tried again to teleport or move something from one spot in the room to another, but nothing clicked.

“Listen, it probably won’t be working since you’re still recovering. I’m sure things will be fine, let’s not jump to conclusions”

“Steve, I can’t feel anything there. Please, I need to know.” Now you were sobbing, leaning on your friend for support. He set you down and looked you in the eyes before speaking to the ceiling.

“FRIDAY, call Helen Cho.”

----

“I’m sorry, _____, I can’t feel anything.”

“Try harder, Helen.”

“If I push any further I risk hurting the wound again. I can do some scans if that will help?”

“Yes please” You reply feebly. Your face was a pale white and you couldn’t really breathe right.

She returned to where you were with a bioscanner Bruce had developed, and five, then then, then twenty, then sixty minutes passed until the results came up.

“There’s a sliver of something, but it’s very small. The majority of it was right in the line of fire. I’m sorry, ___. It’s gone.”

It didn’t take Steve too long to come into the room and hold you while you cried.

----

When you were born, you were born into one of the most religious towns in the United States. Your father was a pastor, your mother was a more liberal believer who stayed quiet because of abuse, and you were a sin.

Why were you a sin? You were born with an abnormal bump on your right side.

It was small at first, barely noticeable unless you really spent your time looking for it. But as you grew, so did the bump. While your father’s religion did have some healthy beliefs and practices, it also obsessed over the idea of “godly perfection”, and thus eliminated anyone in the city who did not fit these qualifications.

Your mother kept you safe by hiding this fact from your father for your entire life. If she had told him, he probably would murder you himself, so she didn’t want to take any risks. However, it didn’t stop her from praying for your sin to go away.

You didn’t think of yourself as a sin; your bump wasn’t hurting anyone, and you didn’t mind having it around. As a kid, you would even draw a smiley face on it time to time as a joke. What you didn’t realize, however, was that bump was the reason you had the ability to teleport.

It happened by accident; you were ten, and you were locked inside your room for saying something along the lines of “who cares what god thinks?” to your father when he said god wouldn’t think highly of you if you kept failing your classes.

Just as you were opening up the bible and reading through the passages your father forced into your face, you closed your eyes and thought about running away. You thought back to a pond by your house, and before you could comprehend what was going on, you were there, your feet at the edge of the water. With a gasp, you held your chest and tried to control your breaths before realizing what you had done. Tears welled in your eyes as you wished to be at home in the safety of your room, but before they could fall into the water below, you were back in your house, sitting in your desk chair again.

With another heavy breath, you pushed the book closed and rushed into bed, still trying to comprehend what was happening. Was it a dream? Your feet were still wet from the water and you smelled faintly of the outdoors, but you had a hard time comprehending that you moved yourself from one place to another in the blink of an eye. You didn’t quite know it at the time, but what you did was anything but your imagination, and it was all thanks to the bump in your side.

----

The group came back a few hours later, but when Wanda and Pietro stopped by your room to say hi, they were stopped by Steve. He was walking down the hallway just as they arrived, and he put a hand over Pietro’s as he went to open the door. “I wouldn’t stop in guys, she isn’t feeling well.”

“Is everything ok?” Pietro asked, concern now building on his face.

“She’s fine, just got a little sick is all. She’ll probably be fine after she gets some rest.” He laid a hand on the silver-haired man’s shoulder, an unsaid gesture meant to scare him away. He didn’t have to stand over him much more for him to get the message; without a word, Wanda pushed her brother down to his room just a few doors away. When the door shut, he looked at his sister with determination in his eyes.

“No, Pietro, I’m not reading her mind. Leave her be-you heard Steven.” She muttered, crossing her arms as she did so.

“Something’s not right about all of this, Wanda. I have a feeling something bad has happened.”

“Well, whatever it is, we’ll find out when we need to.” She held his shoulders and looked him in the eyes once again before trying to reach him. “Leave ____ alone, you understand?”

He nodded, hugging her to his chest. “I just hope she’s ok.”

“She will be, brother. She always is.” She whispered.

----

It took you sixteen hours to leave your room and face the group.

You slept for a solid eight hours, and did almost nothing during the other eight. You could barely stop yourself from crying at first, still in pain from the wound in your side and in your heart. The one thing that got you to be an Avenger was gone, and you couldn’t seem to breathe.

However, once you did start crying, you had to force yourself to stop, as you worried one of the others would hear and defy Steve’s orders to see what was wrong. It took a few pain pills and some self-consoling to finally get to sleep once you managed to stop sobbing

When you fell asleep, you had a dream where you relived getting shot all over again. But this time, you were conscious after you had been shot, hurrying to save what was left of the small bump in your side. “nonononononononono” you whispered to yourself, sticking fingers through blood and screaming as you pulled out what was left of it.

You woke up to Steve at your beside shouting your name and shaking you awake. He was holding your hands and trying to calm you down, but his presence only made you even more stressed out. “Steve! Why are you here?”

“You were screaming, ___. And look at what you did.” He gestured with a free hand to your side, which was now bleeding profusely. You had ripped through the gauze in your sleep and through a few stitches only to reopen your wound again. “Sorry Steve, I-“ He cut you off with a hug and you sobbed into his shoulder, allowing the tears to fall once again.

“We’ll get through this, just take your time.” He said to you before rubbing an encouraging hand down your back.

So when sixteen hours hit and the others were becoming extremely concerned, Steve knew you had to make your appearance. “Just five minutes or so, then you can go back and sleep, ok?” He asked.

Without complaining, you made your way out to the living room, where your friends waited patiently for you. They shouted upon your arrival, making you feel ok if just for a second. “Hi guys” you whispered, your throat still scratchy from all the silent crying and screaming. You took a seat by Pietro, who grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently. “I thought you had died, I was so worried. Especially when I heard screaming.”

“I can’t die yet, I still haven’t pulled all the pranks on you that I have saved.” You muttered, kicking his foot with your own. You felt sad for making your friend worry, but you tried not to focus on it as he enveloped you in a small but gentle side hug. Wanda came behind you and hugged you from the other side, and you were thankful to have the twins so close to you.

“We’re playing poker, wanna join dollface?” Tony asked. Even Pepper and Maria Hill had joined them for a game, and you gladly moved closer to the circle and took a hand of cards. You played for what felt like hours, and Steve watched as you seemed to be doing well despite the news. It wasn’t until Wanda used her powers and brought up an argument with Thor that he saw your look of distress build up again. You stayed quiet but tried not to make a big deal of yourself, but Steve noticed you picking absentmindedly at your shirt.

“Hey, don’t touch.” He chided you, to which you snapped out of your phase and stuck your tongue at his direction. Things carried on as normal until Thor and the twins started arguing about powers again, which is when you started feeling sick to your stomach.

“Lightning, are you kidding me?” Pietro remarked. “Who needs it when you can control your opponents like Wanda?” She didn’t like him putting her powers in those words, but she played along anyways. You, on the other hand, were getting sick to your stomach.

“Should we see who has the better powers, zeu mic?” Wanda replied, looking at the others, then at Thor. You panicked, not wanting to watch this dispute go on any time soon. They were all a teensy bit drunk, and it certainly wouldn’t go down well for anyone in the room.

“Alas, but I am outnumbered. I’ll need a partner as skilled as I am.” Thor commented, a smile on his face. “____! Care to join me against the twins?”

You couldn’t respond before you were running for the nearest trash can so you could throw up everything inside you. The sound you made was inhuman; even Natasha, who was rarely ever surprised, jumped at the sound you made as you wretched in the trash can.

“I’ll take that as a no?” Thor said to himself.

You looked up only to find everyone staring at you with wide eyes. “I’m gonna-“ you began, but threw up again. Your eyes were turning salty and you couldn’t focus on what was going on. Steve was getting up to help you, along with Pietro, but you ran to your room faster than they knew what you were doing. Your door slammed shut with a bang and before Pietro could speed by to help, Steve stopped him with an arm. “Just give her a minute; let’s see how she’s feeling later.”

Damn Tony for suggesting the team take the back way out of the villain’s secret lair. Damn Tony for forgetting over half the team has just about no sense of direction. But most of all, damn Tony for being fucking Tony.

You rubbed your face over with your dirty palms, taking in the stupidity of all this. You had just finished a successful mission with the team, but needing to keep things quiet, Tony suggested you all sneak through the forest behind the lair and regroup at the end. The original plan intended all of you together in one group, but when things started getting hairy towards the end of the mission, that fell through immediately. It was everyone for themselves, and now half the team was stuck in a forest, unsure of where to go.

It was a good thing at least some of the group knew their sense of direction. Clint and Natasha could point out East and West without even flinching due to training, along with Steve, who used his military background to the best of his ability. You weren’t sure how Pietro and Wanda would get along, but you figured they would make it out pretty easily. For Thor, Tony, and Bruce, however, it was a little more difficult. On Asgard, the directions were a little different than they were on Earth, so Thor had absolutely no clue how to find his way via skewed directions from Stark. And Tony and Bruce spent so much time either inside a lab or running through obstacles with their abilities/weapons that they didn’t need to rely on common knowledge to make it home. But now that Tony’s suit had malfunctioned and Bruce couldn’t re-Hulk, it was up to the others to find them.

You knew your directions pretty well, the only issue for you was that you had a few bullet wounds in your leg that made every step painful and on top of that, you were never that good at scaling mountains. You loved Colorado, but you’d be damned if you ever went hiking here again unless your life depended on it.

On top of everything else, the com system was out due to malfunctions at the end of the mission, so you couldn’t contact anyone for help. They were simply going to have to find you on their own, and that could take a few hours at least. You had put a tourniquet on your leg for the time being, but with all the blood you had lost, you needed to put a new one on in order to keep the wound clean. Quickly, you washed the wound off in the river and took a break by the side of the bank. The slow trickle of water rushed through your wound and while it stung like no other, you also enjoyed the clean feeling of rinsing the dried blood from your skin. After that was done, you rewrapped it and set up a small camp for the time being.

You waited patiently for a total of five hours in the hopes that someone would find you. In that time, you slept for an hour or two, caught a fish to eat by the fire, and even took some of the files from the building you just ransacked and turned them into paper origami. With a chuckle, you let small paper cranes float down the creek and into the pool below.

It was just as you were working on a small origami fish that Steve found you.

Despite knowing him as the sweet romantic of the group, his first instinct was anything but sweet or romantic. “What the hell did you do?” He was almost shouting as he leaned down next to you, his eyes roaming the tourniquet on your leg.

“Oh you know, I’m not lucky enough to have super speed like Pietro so I had to settle for a bullet wound to the calf.” You looked up at him, grateful for a familiar face. “Although, it could be worse.”

His face was just as dirty as yours, but through the ash and the dirt you could see his look of worry as you spoke. “I was wondering what happened when I didn’t see you on the other side.” He didn’t even ask if you wanted to be carried after you packed your belongings back into your bag; without another word, he lifted you up off the ground and onto his back, and started walking in the direction you were headed.

“Don’t blame that on me, blame that on Stark’s shitty directions.” You replied, leaning into the touch.

“Ironically enough, it was Stark that got there first.” He said. You opened your eyes and looked down at him.

“You’re kidding me, right?” “Nope. Everyone but you showed up, actually.” Your cheeks were burning with fury. Usually it was you that beat everyone to the chase; chases were your thing. You were extremely competitive and you were furious whenever you lost in competitions, especially to the other two most competitive people on the team, Tony and Thor.

“Ok, then we’ll blame it on the bullet wound.” You replied, trying to quell the competitive side of you. It relaxed as soon as you felt Steve’s chuckle reverberate from his chest to yours, and when you felt the sound hit your ears, you wanted nothing more than to hear it again.

“Were you worried?” You asked him quietly. He paused, taking a quick breath to collect his thoughts.

“No. I knew you would be ok. You’re ____, you always do.” He didn’t sound too confident, so you made him stop and set you down before continuing.

“I can tell when you’re lying, you get all quiet and nervous.” You whispered, waiting to see him crack. Then, you saw it; his eyes flickered down to your leg and back to your face before taking another deep breath.

“Alright, to tell you the truth I was worried sick. I figured you’d be alive but I didn’t know how alive and I didn’t have a single clue where you would be. I’m just glad I was the one who found you.” Even though he was standing over you and you were sitting all the way on the ground, it didn’t take him long to lean down and kiss you senseless. His lips first met yours and stayed there for a while, then moved to your ears, your neck, even your shoulder and collar bone. Your arms were around his neck and before you quite knew what was going on, he was lifting you off the ground and wrapping your legs around his hips, still kissing you crazy in a fit of anxiety. He let go only for one second to lean into your ear and whisper “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, good thing she’s alive, Cap. Thanks for letting us know.” Steve just about dropped you as Natasha and Clint made their way into the clearing where you two were having a long-awaited reunion. Natasha seemed the most furious, as she looked scraped up and dirty beyond belief. Clint, on the other hand, was snickering himself senseless.

Steve couldn’t make out the word sorry without overcoming the scarlet blush on his cheeks that matched yours. You coughed, awkwardly trying to give Steve the hint to let you down on the ground. Without another word, he gently set you down on a nearby rock and turned to face his comrades. “Is the jet nearby?”

“Yeah Cap, we just need to send up a flare and Bruce will do a flyover.” Natasha muttered, a smirk finally appearing on her lips. “But I’m sure the whole team could see that from miles away.”

Clint snickered even more at the poor captain, who was now rubbing a shy hand through his dirty hair. You felt so bad for your boyfriend that the least you could do is save his ass after his embarrassing fumble. After he lit the flare, you smirked to your colleagues before speaking up.

“Well, at least if that doesn’t work, maybe they’ll see this.” Before Steve could even react, you pulled on his suit with both hands and pulled him down to you, touching lips once again for the whole world to see. Natasha and Clint were just as surprised as Steve was, but when you were done, Steve was the only other one smiling.