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how the fffyuck do ye make a page on tumblr! im so inept .

but this actually isn't too personal... I don't know. It's both personal and universal, ya know? Anyway here it goes:

Background: A friend of mine from college just called. Mind you we're not "close" in the way that I define closeness; we don't share super deep or dark secrets, we don't hang out a lot, etc. Really we just had to work on some stuff together for a class and then we hung out together like one other time. 

But he texted me saying he was in a dark place and thought I would be a good person to talk to, and I do really like this guy (as a friend, just being clear), so of course I obliged. 

His argument: He started talking about how he got into this fight with his mom about Obama, and how that eventually lead to a fight about Israel. Now, I'm not the most knowledgeable when it comes to Israel, but he-- being Jewish-- was always pro-Israel. But now, he was starting to question that because Israel has done a lot of shit to the Palestinians. And maybe the Palestinians have done more shit, but that doesn't make what Israel is doing okay, and he was sick of his mom being so pro-Israel and not even trying to acknowledge any counter-argument, and how ignorance is the root of all evil (specifically chosen ignorance), and there's no hope for humankind. 

There will always be evil, there will always be murder, there will always be people benefitting at the expense of others (like us), and we can't do anything about it. We, as in he and I, are powerless to help those people.

And therefore, what's the point of life? Is there a point in living? He assured me that he's not suicidal, because he thinks suicide is selfish, but he just didn't see a point in living. 

What I tried to say: So I tried to come up with reasons to live, things to be happy for, why it sucks that there is ignorance and hate but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to alleviate it. 

I talked about hearing a little girl sing the other day and how it literally brought tears to my eyes. Isn't that worth living for? How I've formed relationships with these kids I work with and feel this connection to them that isn't powerful in an overwhelming sense, but still powerful and important. And I don't really even know what these relationships are built on or why I'm kind of in love with these kids... but I think feeling that is pretty darn cool and a good reason to live. 

I talked about how I don't think it's possible to ever fully get rid of evil or ignorance-- there will always be bad shit like murder in the world-- but you don't have to change the whole world in order for change to happen. And big change does happen; that's how slavery was abolished, how women got the right to vote, how interracial marriage was made legal, and how gay marriage will hopefully be made legal. You're not changing everyone's opinion. I'm not even sure you're changing the majority's opinion. But by voicing your opinion and doing what you can you're contributing to change on a massive scale. 

What's the point of life? Who knows? But I do know that I sometimes feel incredibly powerful emotions when I recognize beauty in the world, or even when I recognize terrible things in the world. And I guess I just trust in those emotions, and believe that life has so many layers to it that I'm not sure there is one thing you can just do to be fulfilled.

People talk about finding a passion, and trying to do so has nearly driven me mad. There's more to life than just this passion. There's family, friends, romantic love, nature. And all those things matter. 

Right?