#resisting change

Last week’s post was a three-point article showing the path to becoming an expert writer. It’s a simple three-step process, but simple doesn’t necessarily mean “easy”. Too often, we see a system that will likely work, but almost immediately most of us come up against resistance. That’s what happened to me just this past week. How I Overcame Writing Resistance Before we get into how I overcame…

The Pain of Change and Growth

Like growth, change in general can be hard and painful. Though oftentimes it only looks as such on the surface. Being part of the unknown, people tend to be afraid of change. So they fight it, resist it, and try to control it. This resistance is what usually causes suffering; for it creates sorrow and disappointments. Change, however, only becomes hard and painful when resisted. To flow through…

Sometimes the hardest call to make is taking one step away from where we are right now.

In any direction.

One step.

Because the devil you know...

Am I right?

Because even as we know for a fact that the square on which we’re standing will be captured in any number of ways —  not if but when — we are, each of us, biased toward clinging to our square no matter what.

No matter.

What.

Jobs... are what I’m thinking about right now. But the subject matter could be anything. Swap-in your own concerns for mine.

The square to which you cling.

There are, of course, any number of legitimate reasons to cling there, chief among them is the simple conclusion that other squares could be worse. Which is true. Which is absolutely true. Other squares could be worse. Other jobs could be worse. Other fill-in-the-blanks could be...

Worse.

I won’t deny that.

But give me this: once we recognize that where we are is unsustainable... there’s no other choice but to move. Otherwise go down with the ship. Otherwise compromise ourselves. Otherwise give up a call that’s ours. And ours alone.

So when the square we’re clinging to is an unsustainable place to be... and when we know it’s an unsustainable place to be, well...

Lemme put it this way:

For me, options are always worse when I keep them all in my head. And for whatever reason, when I lock them up like that, I respond to them emotionally. Like it’s a haunted mansion up there and scary ideas are randomly jumping out of the shadows to scare the living daylights outta me.

The solution, or at least the freeing step toward a solution, is to write down the pros and cons of the different squares we might occupy. The various options available to us. The different choices we can make.

Because we can’t be where we are anymore.

What are the pros and cons of where we might go next?

I don’t know what to tell you. It’s basically pulling stuff out of our brains, putting it on paper or screen... in order to put it all back in our brains.

It works, by the way. Much like the antidote to the hazards of doing algebra problems in your head, it absolutely helps to show ourselves the work. You see, it’s only when the information we’ve loosely collected in our heads is set down in front of our eyes that we can actively and confidently assess and engage and interpret that information. Otherwise, we freeze.

So a pros and cons list is where I start. Sometimes that’s enough. But if it’s not... then I’m on the hunt for answers to the questions that popped up out of my original pros and cons list.

Bottom line: on paper or on screen is where choices become obvious. Where the right choice stands out.

Which is a good thing... and here’s the other good thing about it:

This is an actual step.

It’s actively moving away from our square. Even in the face of uncertainty.

And it’s the one step that can make...

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