#replacement stims

The first thing that comes to mind is to put something soft between your head and the surface so at least the impact is softened a bit, but that might also affect how you experience the stim.

Maybe something like headbanging in the way metal/rock fans often do could be a good replacement?

Do our followers have any ideas?

We’ve got a few tags that might be useful to you, anon: BFRB, replacement stims, moving hands and picking and peeling. I’m going to work on the assumption that you’re after something that replicates (as much as possible) the feel of picking, pinching and pulling or keeps your hands busy.

For items that keep hands busy, anything on our manipulative fidgets tag page will do this job. Standard toys like Tangles, Fidget Cubes, spinners and fidget jewellery are well worth checking out–most of these are standard toys for a reason. I will swear by the Tangle as my favourite manipulative fidget!

Previous posts that focus on toy options include:

A list of textured, handheld toys (also by an asker with dermatillomania). This post has a fair bit of description on what these toys are like to use, so I recommend reading through if you’re unsure as to which toys might appeal to you.

A list of toys that can be rolled in the hand. This has more options than the first post but not as much detail on what they’re like to use.

A post on a flocked Tangle Jr Fuzzy as a replacement picking stim. This is my personal favourite, anon, and one of the closest stims I’ve found that replicates my pick and peel approach to my fingers and lips, as the Tangle is covered in flocking you can pick and peel away. This is a more expensive replacement stim: the Tangle Jr underneath can be used like a standard Tangle Jr once picked clean, but you’ll need to replace the Tangle Jr every so often to keep on picking.

(The benefit of this one is that you’re picking something that isn’t your skin, so you’re getting the feel of the picking while training yourself to direct it away from your body. For those of us who pick glue off our hands but then start picking the skin afterward, the Tangle Jr Fuzzy is a much safer redirect option.)

A post on coating plastic toys with PVA glue. I do this to cheap plastic toys like snake puzzles or foam squishies. It works similarly to the Tangle Jr Fuzzy, although the layer of glue doesn’t behave as much like skin as the flocking. I’d do this to squishies you’re prepared to damage, as the foam sometimes tears away with the glue, but this just gives you more to pick at! They’re easy to recoat with glue whenever needed–I usually do a few at once, so I can then work my way through the set.

(You can even pick at a squishy without coating it with glue first, although the glue provides something to pick under and then peel off, which I prefer over just the foam.)

A post on corks as a replacement picking stim. These are pretty easy to source–most dollar shops with a craft section have them, and there’s plenty on eBay. I find these less enjoyable than the Tangle Jr Fuzzy because they’re harder for me to pick at, putting more stress on my hands and fingertips.

A post with a lot of different comments made on picking redirection stims. It lists toys like dryer balls, hedge balls, peeling tape and feathery/frondy toys like Koosh Balls, puffer creatures and the Tangle Hairy. The Tangle Hairy is an often-recommended toy as a picking/pulling redirection stim, as it’s a Tangle covered with stretchy silicone-like fronds that can be twisted or even pulled off.

A post on mermaid sequins as a hand-moving redirection stim toy. If you’re after something that provides a lot of texture and keeps your hands moving while being reasonably subtle (especially if you have a pillow at home or a pencil case/bag at school or work), this is ideal. There’s many items made from mermaid sequins now, so please check out our mermaid sequins tag!

Previous posts that focus on redirection stims include:

A video on making peel-off nail polish from non-toxic PVA glue. If you’re after something that replaces the peeling, this is one of the safer ways to go about it. You can also paint PVA glue directly onto your skin.

Another post with picking redirection stims that includes picking the paper wrapping off crayons or covering hands in non-toxic glue (PVA or Clag) for peeling.

And yet another post that includes painting liquid latex onto the skin and peeling that off!

I know there’s a lot of text here and a lot of links to read through, so I’m going to stop here, anon, before this gets too overwhelming.

[image description: a lighter-skinned right hand wearing glossy nail polish, each nail a different colour: yellow, fuschia, pink, blue, green. A picture of a bottle of Elmer’s school glue, with an orange and blue Elmer’s label, is placed so the orange screw cap is resting over the top of the blue nail. A white-with-black-handdrawn-outline arrow points towards the tip of the glue bottle. The photo takes place on a background of a wire-spine ruled notebook, the lines and spine highlighted with yellow.]

DIYs / Life Hacks Video - Karina Garcia

I’m posting this for the first DIY - instructions on tinting white PVA/school glue with food colouring to make safe, peel-off nail polish.

I know we’ve discussed peel-off nail polish before, for people wishing a safe picking-and-peeling replacement stim, but the professional polish is very expensive, far too expensive for most stimmers. This alternative probably isn’t as durable, but it looks like a lot of fun and should be safe and affordable for most of us. The DIY approach should give more colour options than is available in children’s peel off polish ranges, too.

I did note that some colour remained on her nails when the glue peeled away, and I don’t know how long that staining lasts for. It won’t be permanent because it’s food colouring, but it’s something to keep in mind.

Advisory: as said in the video, because this tutorial uses PVA, it isn’t waterproof. I’d also be sure to use non-toxic glue; many craft glues are not safe for applying directly to skin.

Anon, I’ve had something like twelve hours of sleep over four nights. My brain is not functioning. So, to be honest, I don’t know if you mean spinning an earbud, as in twirling an ear section from a headphone set, or spinning an earbud, as in twirling a cotton bud in your ear. (I have a feeling I should know, but I don’t.) If it’s the former, I can make suggestions; if it’s the latter … I don’t know. If you’re after the feel of something to spin in your hands, it’s less difficult, but if you’re after the feel of the bud turning in your ear, I have absolutely no idea as how to replace that. I might have to come back to that one when my body decides it’s willing to sleep again!

(To make it worse, it’s not really recommended that people use cotton buds in ears anyway, so anything that replaces it runs into the same problem of not being great in your ears.)

So, to cut down on blank staring at the computer screen and attempt some measure of usefulness, I’ll discuss the things I can figure out.

The problem is, I think, that if you’re spinning the earbud from a headphone set in your hands, and that’s annoying, most other replacement stims that you can spin and twirl are also like to annoy people. I’ve got a list of things you can spin or make to spin here, but I really don’t see how spinning your earphones is any different from twirling a Tangle or the end of a roller bead lanyard over your fingers and through the air. Unless it’s a small thing like a spinner, that can be held low in your hands and kept more unobtrusive, these things are potentially extremely annoying to others.

(This said: anon, if this is a stim you really like, give yourself some private time in which to do it. Five minutes spinning the earbud before you go to sleep, for example. We’ve all got stims that annoy or impact others, but that doesn’t mean we can’t and shouldn’t enjoy them when there’s nobody else around to irritate. I think you’re that much more likely to be willing to replace the stim around others when you know that you’re not being denied the stim entirely. And, assuming this is a headphone, if you’ve got space and are careful of not hitting objects - just be a little mindful about how you do it - this really isn’t a harmful stim. We can acknowledge that some stims are annoying for those around us while still acknowledging the truth that they aren’t dangerous or problematic! Give yourself private space to do this stim and enjoy it, please.)

So. In all honesty, I don’t think we can replace the spinning. I think our best bet is to give you something to do with your hands, which means looking at more standard, unobtrusive fidget toys. In particular, I’m thinking toys that have greater movement of your hands and fingers are more like to be successful for you - just stroking a soft toy, for example, isn’t like to occupy you as a replacement and is like to just leave you unconsciously reaching for the earbud.

The toys I’m thinking are:

(Note: all links go to tags collecting posts about where to find that particular item.)

- Spinners. They’re everywhere at the moment, so finding one to try shouldn’t be a problem. You can hold these close to your body, so it should be less distracting, and since you need to hold it in one hand and spin it with the other, it should keep both hands occupied.

- Tangles. Now that there’s a flood of knock-offs on eBay, it’s pretty easy for most people to get their hands on a Tangle. (The differences are ones of texture, noise and weight, not function.) Note that I need two hands to work a Tangle Jr, but most people find it only occupies one hand, so if you want to engage both hands, try looking for the larger Tangles (Therapy, Jumbo, etc). There’s a post here on how to use a Tangle, if you need some inspiration.

- Fidget Cubes. Likewise, these are also getting pretty easy to access, if you don’t mind a knock-off (which seem to vary widely in quality, ease of use and noise, so getting a good one is a little pot luck). If you like a lot of small, very repetitive movements, this is an ideal fidget for you and should keep your hands and fingers very occupied.

- Puzzles: wood puzzles, snake puzzles, serpent puzzles. These all give you some of the movement of a Tangle plus the challenge of trying to make particular arrangements and shapes. Again, very good for keeping the hands occupied and moving.

- Chain fidgets. Again, very good for constant hand movements, as you’re just constantly turning the fidget over and over. I’ve seen these available in a variety of sizes, and if you DIY these, you can make them as big and small as you like or need. These aren’t as accessible as some of the items here, but I’ve seen them on eBay and Etsy, and they’re available in many OT and stim toy shops.

- Bead Rings and Roller Bead Lanyards. Also easy to DIY! The rings can be noisy depending on the types of beads used (plastic pony beads are quieter; metal-lined glass beads are louder) but, like a spinner, require you to continually turn the beads around and around. The lanyards can be rolled across a knee or bench/table, but clicking the beads up and down the strand requires one hand to hold the end and the other hand to move the beads, giving you a lot of hand movement. Plus the lanyards are easy to attach to a bag or belt loop, if you don’t want to make a wearable lanyard.

- Twiddle. This is rather like a Tangle, just thinner, longer and with clips easier to pull apart. It’s designed to be either twisted like a Tangle, scrunched, or pulled apart and put back together in different shapes, making it like the fabulous child of a Tangle and a snake puzzle. This is more expensive a fidget than most things on this list, and mostly only available from stim toy and OT stores, but it’s great for occupying the hands. Here’s a post on how to clip the Twiddle pieces back together!

I’m not sure how good an answer this for you, anon, but I hope it helps. Feel free to ask again if I’ve approached this in the wrong direction for you; I’ll try to do better the second time around. If our followers have ideas, please feel free to comment!

Anon, it’s fine. Not a problem at all.

(By the way: no stim is horrible. We might need to replace some stims for healthier ones, which is a good thing to do if we can, but even less-healthy coping stims aren’t horrible. It’s just a stim. You absolutely do not need to feel bad about having a less-healthy coping stim. We all have them.)

As a doll collector, I see absolutely nothing wrong with yanking a head off a doll and pulling its hair. As a doll collector, I have absolutely done worse to my own dolls - everything from removing their hair to replace it to removing their heads to put a nice head on a more articulated body. I’m Sid from Toy Story! Admittedly, I’m used to having doll heads floating around on my desk (or doll heads covered in glue in the process of wig-making) so this doesn’t rate on the creepy scale for me. In fact, it seems quite a practical approach to me as the doll hair, while not identical, is a good substitute for our own.

You can even get a near never-ending supply of cheap Barbies from local op and second-hand shops, usually for only a few dollars a bag. Wash them with shampoo and conditioner like you would your own hair, and then either stick the doll head-first into a cup of boiling water or wrap the shoulders, neck and head of the doll in a wheat heat bag. Give the doll’s plastic time to heat (a minute for the hot water, a few for the heat bag) and then grab the doll’s head in a towel and pull it off the neck knob.

Seriously, I am all for unconventional stim toys, especially in the world of replacement stims.

But, if that really bothers you (and keeping in mind there’s spaces where it isn’t safe to pull out a doll head) there’s stim toys that have hair-like strands for pulling.

First: Koosh Balls and Bandy Balls (or similar knock offs). They’re balls made from strands of fine latex or rubber. The bigger ones (like this large knock-off) are almost large enough for combing fingers through, and there’s plenty of strands to grab hold of and pull. There’s also so many fronds it should keep you going for quite a while if you pull hard enough to break them off.

The brand-name version is on Amazon for $6.46 USD; a Toysmith knock-off version is available for $6.36 USD with a cheaper listing under the seller options. Fidget Club has the Ogosoft Stress Ball for $2.99 USD and the thicker-stranded Bandy Ball for $3.99 USD. Also worth checking out your local toystore, as that’s where I’ve found mine.

(Note that they do have a chemically-rubbery smell, especially the knock-offs.)

Second: Tangle Hairy. The strands aren’t long enough to comb through, but there’s plenty to pull, and being a Tangle, it looks more like a fidget or office toy than a child’s toy.

$6.99 USD from Fidget Club; $6.95 USD from Fat Brain Toys. Aussies can find these in Toyworld stores, $10-$15 AUD depending on the store.

(The Tangle Hairy is the only puffer-type toy I own without a chemical odour.)

Third: Spaghetti Ball. Similar to a Koosh, but with much thicker strands. The Koosh is more hair-like; the Spaghetti ball is more like … thick spaghetti.

Available  atNational Autism Resources at $5.59 USD and Fidget Club for $4.99 USD for the standard and $6.99 USD for the mondo.

Fourth: Puffer Creatures or Puffer Balls. These are a soft rubbery plastic ball, worm or creature with plastic fronds attached, long enough for pulling.

Available in many, many dollar shops and just about everywhere online. Fidget Club has them available in a puffer bracelet called a Squigglet for $4.99 USD, which might be ideal if you want something easily portable and right at your hands.

The puffer creatures do tend to have a chemical odour. Also note that all of these things stretch, and in that sense doesn’t much mimic hair. They are absolutely designed for pulling, though!

I hope there’s something there that helps you, anon. But please know that I think the doll head is a damn good idea and not the slightest bit strange or creepy. I’ve rehaired dolls and My Little Ponies with embroidery floss (back when I didn’t have chronic hand pain, alas) and it feels wonderful for pulling and stroking. Wonderful. As someone who collects dolls, I have absolutely no problem with your pulling one apart for you to stim with. None.

Please comment away with any further suggestions!

- Mod K.A.

@bluestreaksand-freckles says,

Maybe anon could paint the plastic part of the doll head in a solid color so that it looks less like a doll head.

Anon, this is one of those areas where medical science is pretty conflicting. If I had a dollar for every time a doctor said something contradicted by another doctor and contradicted again by folks in that same community online, I’d never need to work again. It’s frustratingly normal.

I don’t know a great deal myself, sadly, so I will absolutely open this up to people who have direct experience with knuckle-cracking.

I am not a cracker (can’t stand the noise) and right now medical science doesn’t quite know why I am in such ongoing pain (after the healing of my original injuries) or how to treat it, meaning that, aside from repetitive movements, which I know is a factor, the reason for said movements triggering excessive pain is a mystery. It doesn’t give me a lot of insight into the reason said pain exists as much as it gives insight into the things that trigger it. Which is a really common and frustrating experience among folk with chronic pain, given that medical science doesn’t much understand pain, either. So I can be surprisingly less than useful here!

The general consensus is that this will not cause arthritis (and that it does is a myth). It does stretch and loosen your tendons, but as to whether or not this is a good thing … they can’t decide. I checked myself and there’s people thinking that this is bad, others saying it makes no difference.

My recommendation, in all honesty, would be to discuss this with a family doctor if you’re worried. Not to say that the doctor will have the right answers, either - this is a case where I think nobody quite knows them in full. But it will be on your record and you can get a referral to a rheumatologist if you’re truly concerned.

I’ll say this: in the absence of a firm declaration either way, I think this comes back to you, your habits, your experiences. Are you in pain? Are you suffering any stiffness, looseness, difficulty in moving, using and controlling said limbs? Do you have any other diagnoses that might have bad interactions with your hands over time? (I’m thinking repetitive strain injuries or EDS.) Pay attention to your body (hard for many ND people, really hard for many autistics) because it will send you messages - cramping, stiffness, looseness, numbness, prickling, a lack of sensation. If any one of these appear in or around where you’re cracking (note that pain in a location doesn’t indicate the problem is in that location, but might be somewhere close by) take that as a message to stop.

The question here is if you are constantly cracking them as a stim - once every few hours doesn’t seem excessive to me, but if you’re stressed every second day and crack them twenty times when stressed, that seems to me worth seeking a replacement stim for some of those cracks, simply from the sheer amount of cracking. I’m less concerned about the cracking (as something done on a semi-regular basis my inclination is that it’s safe) as opposed to the frequency of the cracking, just like I’d be with any other bodily stim or stim toy that requires frequent/repetitive movements.

I do believe that the kind of intense repetitive movements we stimmers do can or will cause repetitive strain injuries in anyone even slightly predisposed to soft tissue injury. Since it’s hard to know before if you have this predisposition, it’s best to be careful now.

To give an example: my hands were triggered by working in a warehouse - picking and packing stock for a clothing chain. I worked for two years before they flared, not by any particular movement, just because my body had had enough and I hadn’t seen the warning signs. (Being autistic, my body kind of has to wave a flag in my face for me to notice.) You’d think, after that amount of time, it wouldn’t be a problem, right? So know that these injuries can be a very long time in the developing. That they’re fine now and have been fine for the last year of doing so doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be fine later, and this is why I’m big on discussing stimming with an eye to varying repetitive movement.

So, the summary: I’m not too concerned about the cracking itself, but the frequency of the cracking may present a problem later on if it is very frequent, and this is something I did not see discussed online. So I’d pay attention to how often you crack and, if it is frequent, look to see if there’s some replacement stims you can use sometimes.

There’s a bunch of clicky and snappy stim toys in this ask you might like to look at!

But, I’ll say again: I am not a clicker, and while I’m good with hand pain and repetitive strain, joint cracking is quite a bit outside my experience. So I very much encourage those with direct experience of this to give their information and experience, because I am sure they can do a better job of giving our anon more useful feedback and advice.

Forgive me, anon, but I’ll respond to two of you at the same time, because @hollowstar-caelum commented on the liquid latex post (where I pondered about Clag) and we’re all on the same wavelength when it comes to peeling and glue:

What about PVA glue?                            

My inclination is that it should be fairly safe. PVA is only toxic when swallowed but rated non-toxic for handling, and used as a craft glue for children old enough to not eat it! I did wonder about frequency (as in how the skin might react when used frequently, which is a concern for literally anything you use on your skin) but then I realised … slime. Our handmade slimes use PVA glue, and as far as I’m aware, nobody is having a problem from the constant handling of slime. We’d have the many slime makers and slime consumers talking by now if they started experiencing issues from frequent skin contact with PVA! If our skin can handle slime, it’s reasonable that it can handle painting with PVA (and PVA does peel fabulously well). I’d still do a test patch, just to be safe, if you don’t handle PVA on a regular basis, but I don’t think this will be a problem for most of us. The glue you’re painting on your skin is much less than the glue into which you’re submerging your fingers whilst kneading slime!

Oh, anon, your crayon idea - which is pretty cheap and accessible, especially if you use dollar shop crayons - reminds me of a primary school project where we dripped candle wax on a cloth, dyed the cloth and peeled off the wax to reveal the undyed cloth underneath. Peeling the cooled wax off the fabric was divine. Messy, and it hurt the skin under my fingernails after a while, but divine.

Thank you, both of you! I really appreciate people adding in things I’ve forgotten!

- Mod K.A.

@darklydragon says,

I have been doing this with white glue since I as a small kid. Its the best thing.

Awesome. Thank you for letting us know!

@hannibalsmurderbasement says,

Glue works wonderfully for this, but the drying time is a LOT longer than the latex! Also, it can rip hair out, so people should make sure to stick to their hands or the inside of their forearm where hair isn’t common. regular WHITE craft glue is the best for this, as clear glue will really dry out your skin which means you’ll need to moisturize a lot or your skin will get nice and irritated (I make slime, and I always run into this issue!)

You might want to look for replacement stims. You don’t need to stop eating (including “unhealthy” foods), but if certain foods have become a problem for you, you could look for healthier ways to meet your stimming needs. For example, if you stim with sweet flavors you could try to satisfy that with fresh or dried fruit (although you should keep in mind that some dried fruits have a lot of added sugar). You could also try chewing gum with sweet flavors or sucking on hard candies. If you stim with crunchy chips, you could try to replicate some of that sensation by eating foods like rice cakes, carrot sticks, or nuts. 

I’ve also found an article that might be helpful, which I’ll link here (trigger warning for mention of eating disorders). It talks about mindful eating, specifically for people with ADHD and executive dysfunction. I don’t know if executive dysfunction is related to your experiences regarding food, but if it is, mindful eating might be of some help to you. 

Do any of our followers have any suggestions for dealing with food stims?