#renazeros

“Sect Leader Jiang, Sect Leader Nie is demanding an audience,” one of Jiang Cheng’s disciples tells him, and going by how frantic he seems, it’s more than likely that Nie Mingjue is about to simply barge in.

“Let him in,” Jiang Cheng tells him, and a few moments later Nie Mingjue marches into the room.

He looks ready for a fight, and Jiang Cheng squares his shoulders.

“What can I do for you, Sect Leader Nie?” he asks, but Nie Mingjue only scoffs.

“Stop this bullshit,” he spits out. “What the fuck did you do to Xichen?” he demands to know and Jiang Cheng clenches his jaw even as his heart painfully stumbles in his chest.

“I didn’t do anything to him,” he gives back, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t seem convinced at all.

“Is that why he’s holed up in Qinghe, barely speaking and eating even less?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng can’t help the stab of worry at hearing that.

“Is his family alright? Did something happen to Lan Qiren or Lan Wangji?”

“They are fine,” Nie Mingjue tells him with a frown. “He came directly from here, so it must have been something you did. I always knew you would be no good for him,” Nie Mingjue mutters and it probably would have hurt less if Nie Mingjue hit him in the face.

“I know,” Jiang Cheng forces himself to say. “That’s why I called off the arrangement.”

There’s a beat of silence, before Nie Mingjue explodes.

“You did what?”

“I called off the arrangement,” Jiang Cheng repeats. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how unhappy he was here, wilting away from his home and the people he loves.”

“He loves you, you stupid boy!” Nie Mingjue almost yells and while it’s exactly what Jiang Cheng always wanted to hear, he knows it’s not true.

“He doesn’t. He’s bound by his duty to his clan and the need to honor a promise that was made for him. But I won’t do that to him. I saw what a loveless marriage did to my parents, saw how my mother smothered my father, and I won’t be like that. I have her temper, I know, but I refuse to do that to Lan Xichen. I refuse to be like her.”

“Oh boy,” Nie Mingjue mumbles as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I can’t even be mad at you for that,” he goes on as he looks back at Jiang Cheng. “But you’ve got it all wrong. He loves you. He was never unhappy with this arrangement.”

“Sure,” Jiang Cheng sarcastically says. “That’s why he only ever smiled while you were around, and why he was so eager to go home every opportunity that presented itself. That’s why he kept to himself all his time here.”

“He thinks it’s nothing more than a duty to you. He didn’t want to impose or bother you,” Nie Mingjue explains, and Jiang Cheng is surprised to see that the fight has gone out of him. 

Jiang Cheng scoffs at his words, and turns his head away, because Nie Mingjue is wrong. That’s not how it is.

“Will you at least come to talk to Xichen? He thinks he did something wrong. At least settle that,” Nie Mingjue says.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t understand why Nie Mingjue can’t just tell Lan Xichen about this himself, but he nods anyway.

Lan Xichen thinks this is his fault. Jiang Cheng can’t let him believe that, it’s not right. 

Nie Mingjue seems strangely pleased, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t question him. If he clears this up, there will be nothing standing between Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen. Of course Nie Mingjue would be happy.

~*~*~

True to Nie Mingjue’s words, they find Lan Xichen in one of the guest rooms, and it doesn’t look like he left it even once. The food is still on the table as well, untouched, and Jiang Cheng frowns when he sees it.

Lan Xichen scrambles up and falls into a bow when he sees them enter.

“You better clear up this misunderstanding,” Nie Mingjue threatens them and scoffs Jiang Cheng over the head. “I’ll await you for dinner afterwards,” he then tells them and marches right back out of the room.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” Lan Xichen greets him, and Jiang Cheng’s mouth twists unhappily.

He thought they could at least be friendly with each other.

“Sect Leader Lan,” he gives back, even though the words taste like ash on his tongue. “I heard you’re under the assumption this is somewhat your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” Lan Xichen asks and he avoids Jiang Cheng’s eyes. “I couldn’t be what you wanted me to be.”

“I don’t want you to be anything,” Jiang Cheng blurts out and Lan Xichen flinches. “Fuck, I mean--,” Jiang Cheng says and takes a deep breath.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he tries to explain as Lan Xichen’s eyes go wide. “Like you can’t figure out what you did wrong in your life to end up at my side. I know you don’t love me, and that’s okay, but you do love and you shouldn’t be bound to me if it’s not what you want. You were unhappy at Lotus Pier, unhappy with me and the situation--and who can blame you, really--but this shouldn’t be it for you. Not for a promise other people made. You deserve better,” Jiang Cheng says, because Lan Xichen does.

He deserves so much better than a loveless marriage with a man he can barely stand.

No matter that Jiang Cheng would have tried to give him the sun and stars if only Lan Xichen had asked.

“It’s not like that,” Lan Xichen softly says and before Jiang Cheng can scoff at that, he goes on. “I looked at you like that because I tried to figure out how to make you happy, how to make you want this. I--I was never against this marriage, be it arranged or not, but I know that you were always struggling with this. I just wanted to figure out how to give you what you need. And you’re so--proud, and not in a bad way, I thought it would be best if I didn’t try to interfere in your Sect or your life too much. I don’t want to impose myself, that’s all,” Lan Xichen tells him and it makes Jiang Cheng speechless.

“You’re not against the marriage,” Jiang Cheng eventually repeats, his voice faint and barely audible, but Lan Xichen smiles at him.

“I’m not. I used to be, before I knew you, when we were just kids, but then I got to know you and I realized it wouldn’t be so bad. I realized that it could be good, that I wanted this. I know you never got over the duty of it all, and that’s okay,” Lan Xichen reassures him in a sad voice, “but I hoped I could at least make you comfortable. I’m sorry I failed at that.”

“But you’re in love with Nie Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng blurts out and Lan Xichen seems so startled it would be funny if the situation was different.

“Mingjue is my best friend. I’m not in love with him,” Lan Xichen tells him. “I’ve never been in love with anyone else.”

“Anyone else than--” Jiang Cheng haltingly says, because Lan Xichen cannot be implying what Jiang Cheng thinks he is. 

“You,” Lan Xichen gives back without hesitation and Jiang Cheng can only blink at him as his heart starts to beat fast in his chest.

“Me,” Jiang Cheng repeats and blinks some more, because what the fuck.

“You,” Lan Xichen agrees again and then he gives this small horrible smile to Jiang Cheng. “I know it’s not what you want from me,” he says as if this isn’t the only thing Jiang Cheng has ever wanted, “and you don’t have to say anything to it.”

“I didn’t want to marry someone who couldn’t love me,” Jiang Cheng says and takes a step closer to Lan Xichen. “I’m a romantic, Xichen, I only ever wanted to marry out of love, and nothing would have made me happier than marrying you,” Jiang Cheng says, as the blush rises on his cheeks and he hopes Lan Xichen gets it.

Because for all that he does consider himself a romantic at heart he cannot say the words right now.

But it seems like it isn’t necessary, because Lan Xichen beams at him.

“Really?” he asks, and it’s his turn now to take a step forward. “But you said you’re not happy.”

“Because I thought you couldn’t love me, that you are in love with someone else, that you saw this as nothing but a burden or a punishment. That didn’t make me happy. Knowing that you love me, and that you want this marriage--that makes me happy.”

“I do,” Lan Xichen immediately agrees. “I want this marriage. And I love you. Nothing would make me happier.”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t cancel on the engagement yet,” Jiang Cheng says as he reaches for Lan Xichen’s hand to intertwine their fingers, which Lan Xichen allows.

“Okay,” Lan Xichen agrees and then looks at Jiang Cheng with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Fiancé.”

Jiang Cheng goes hot all over at hearing that and he drops his head on Lan Xichen’s shoulder.

“You can’t just say that,” he complains, voice muffled by the fabric and Lan Xichen puts a hand in Jiang Cheng’s hair.

“I can, fiancé. I have waited a long time to call you that. It’s either that or my heart.”

Jiang Cheng whines at that and clutches at Lan Xichen’s waist.

But before he can form any coherent words at that, the door is pushed open.

“You’re better not being stupid in here, I swear to the ancestors,” Nie Mingjue declares as he marches in and then comes to an abrupt stop. “I see,” he then mutters, before he shakes his head. “Get a grip and come to dinner. It’s getting cold,” he orders them and then storms back out.

“Is this his way of saying he approve?”

“Yes,” Lan Xichen tells him and Jiang Cheng chuckles. 

“I thought he hated me.”

“That was when he thought you hated me,” Lan Xichen explains. “We should probably follow him.”

“We should,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh and raises their still intertwined hands to press a kiss to the back of Lan Xichen’s.

“After you, my fiancé,” Jiang Cheng says with a small smile, and Lan Xichen laughs at that.

“No, after you, my heart,” he immediately gives back and Jiang Cheng distantly wonders how long they can keep this up, before Nie Mingjue begs them to stop.

He’s excited to find out.

Lan Xichen closes his eyes to find his qi, that is thankfully devoid of any poison, but it feels warmer than normal, almost more settled as well and Lan Xichen frowns as he presses a hand to his chest.

“What happened? he asks, momentarily taken off guard by the forced nonchalant look on Jiang Cheng’s face. 

“You almost died on me, that’s what happened,” he pleasantly gives back, but Lan Xichen knows he actually wants to yell at him.

“I didn’t mean to,” Lan Xichen immediately says, because he didn’t, he still has plans after all.

“You better didn’t mean to do that,” Jiang Cheng snaps and then rubs a hand over his face.

“You worried me,” he admits, and it’s a rare enough display of honest emotions that Lan Xichen stills completely. “You felt ice cold when I touched you and then you just kept going colder.”

“I’m warm now,” Lan Xichen offers and holds out his hand, which Jiang Cheng immediately takes.

“You are,” he says as he links their hands together, and Lan Xichen is yet again reminded of what he might or might not have said to Jiang Cheng about the courtship.

“So, did I say anything?” Lan Xichen awkwardly asks and Jiang Cheng levels him with a look.

“You mean when you were nearly dying on me?” 

“Yes,” Lan Xichen says with a wince and Jiang Cheng sighs.

“You declared your undying love,” he tells Lan Xichen with a face so straight, Lan Xichen believes it for a second, right until Jiang Cheng presses his lips together to hide his smile.

“You didn’t, don’t worry,” Jiang Cheng reassures him, but two can play that game.

“It wouldn’t be too far off,” Lan Xichen casually gives back and is delighted to see how his statement catches Jiang Cheng off guard.

“No, you don’t get to do that,” Jiang Cheng decides with a shake of his head and Lan Xichen’s heart immediately sinks.

He knew he should never have hoped for anything more than this.

“Oh,” he breathes out, desperately looking down at his lap instead of where Jiang Cheng is still holding on to his hand, but Jiang Cheng squeezes it lightly with his own.

“You don’t get to do that, because I’m going to court you first,” Jiang Cheng explains, voice much softer now, and he carefully puts something in Lan Xichen’s hand, before he pulls back. 

Lan Xichen instinctively closes his fingers around it, as he looks up at Jiang Cheng with big eyes.

“You said you couldn’t die before you get to court me,” Jiang Cheng says with a shrug. “I decided I’m going to court you first, as punishment for waiting so long.”

“What a horrible punishment,” Lan Xichen manages to get out as he focuses on the thing in his hand.

It’s a Yunmeng Jiang bell; not unlike the one Jiang Cheng is wearing, but it’s still a little bit different.

“What is this?” he asks, careful not to jump to conclusions, though Jiang Cheng’s words can hardly be misinterpreted.

“A courtship bell,” Jiang Cheng easily says, but when Lan Xichen’s head snaps up at that, he can see the faint tension in the corner of Jiang Cheng’s eyes and the twist to his mouth.

“You’re not the only one who has been thinking about this for some time now,” Jiang Cheng says and Lan Xichen can do nothing but gape at him.

“It’s gorgeous,” he breathes out, though he doesn’t take his eyes off Jiang Cheng, which he notices, going by the way his cheeks turn slightly red.

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng mutters. “Are you taking it or not?” he then demands to know and Lan Xichen quickly presses his hand with the bell to his chest, cradling it protectively in case Jiang Cheng thinks he can just take it from him again. 

“Of course I’m taking it,” he tells him, and is surprised to see just how much tension leaks out of Jiang Cheng at that.

“It’s gorgeous, thank you,” Lan Xichen says as he carefully inspects the bell.

“You better have something equally as gorgeous, or I might think you’re not taking this seriously,” Jiang Cheng grumbles out and Lan Xichen smiles at him.

He thinks of the jade token he has prepared for Jiang Cheng; the jade just barely noticeable in between all the purple ornaments he adorned it with, and Lan Xichen reaches out to take Jiang Cheng’s hand in his again.

“I am taking this very seriously, as you’ll see the next time you’re at the Cloud Recesses,” he promises and is rewarded with a rare and gorgeous smile.

He is taking this so seriously, Jiang Cheng won’t even know what hit him when Lan Xichen is done with his courtship. He had years to prepare it, after all.

“And yet you were staring,” he gives back and turns back around to his report, though concentrating just got a whole lot more difficult, now that he knows Lan Xichen is in the same room as him.

Reaching out and just falling into him has never seemed more tempting than in this moment.

Lan Xichen is silent in this form, always so silent, but Jiang Cheng still notices the darkness outside of the candlelight shift as Lan Xichen slowly makes his way forward.

Jiang Cheng protectively cages the report in with his arm, because he knows what’s coming. They have had this fight a few times already, Lan Xichen demanding he rests, while Jiang Cheng is determined to at least pretend to be the leader of his own sect.

Jiang Cheng never wins, in the end, not that he minds that terribly much.

The tentacles start moving up his body, caressing him as they go, and Jiang Cheng immediately relaxes at that. 

He distantly wonders if Lan Xichen will ever stop having that effect on him, but he’s soon enough distracted by the wandering tentacles tugging at his report.

“Stop it,” Jiang Cheng complains and slaps the tentacle away, not that it’s doing much, since three more immediately follow.

“Just this one,” Jiang Cheng tries and the tentacles stop for a second, before their tugging gets more insistent.

The message is more than clear.

“I will come to bed once this report is dealt with,” Jiang Cheng says, though his words are almost swallowed by the huge yawn that overtakes him.

He swears Lan Xichen is laughing at him and Jiang Cheng musters up all his anger to send a glare in his direction.

“It’s not funny,” he complains but the black mass, and all its eyes, just cosies up to him, soothing his apparently hurt feelings and Jiang Cheng relaxes into Lan Xichen for a second.

He should have known that it was a second too long.

The tentacles immediately wrap around him, always so careful with him, and pull him away from the desk.

“Xichen!” Jiang Cheng complains, though all his struggling doesn’t help. 

If Lan Xichen doesn’t want to let him go, then Jiang Cheng won’t get out of his hug, they both know that.

Still, Jiang Cheng puts up a token protest and he can feel Lan Xichen’s mischievous laugh, right before his tentacles extinguish all the candles in the room at once.

It’s pitch dark, and Jiang Cheng’s eyes are decidedly not trying to adjust to the sudden darkness, traitors that they are.

“Fine,” he eventually huffs with a sigh. “You win, you big bad monster. Take me to bed then,” he demands, and tries to ignore the smug feeling he gets from Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen quickly brings him over to the bed, not even allowing him to walk there by himself, and he is gentle as he manoeuvres Jiang Cheng into bed.

“Rude,” Jiang Cheng complains when Lan Xichen pushes him down into the mattress harder than is maybe necessary. “Very rude of you, to handle your boyfriend like this.”

Lan Xichen’s from starts to change, and the pressure in the room lets Jiang Cheng know that he’s about to turn back into his human form, but he still doesn’t close his eyes. 

He loves seeing his boyfriend change his forms, so Jiang Cheng doesn’t look away, no matter how much pressure it puts on his head.

“If you were even a bit more cooperative, I wouldn’t have to be so rude,” Lan Xichen informs him as soon as his mouth is fully formed and Jiang Cheng smiles at him.

“But then you wouldn’t get to manhandle me like that,” he gives back, knowing full well just how much Lan Xichen loves it that Jiang Cheng trusts his true form enough to handle him with care, no matter the situation and Lan Xichen only sighs as he slides into bed next to Jiang Cheng.

“You really shouldn’t stay up that long,” Lan Xichen says as he pulls Jiang Cheng close, who immediately cuddles into his chest. “It’s not healthy for you. You need rest.”

“Maybe I just need someone who keeps me in bed,” Jiang Cheng mutters back and he hides his smile in Lan Xichen’s neck when a few of his tentacles immediately wrap around him, just like he has hoped for.

“That can be arranged,” Lan Xichen tells him with a kiss to his head and Jiang Cheng goes boneless against him.

Jiang Cheng never sleeps as well as he does with Lan Xichen literally wrapped all around him and he just snuggles closer. 

“You’re unbelievable,” Lan Xichen mutters, but Jiang Cheng knows that he is beyond happy, can feel it radiate from every single tentacle that’s hugging him close.

Jiang Cheng wriggles his fingers where his hand is resting on Lan Xichen’s waist and one tentacle immediately wraps around it, following Jiang Cheng’s silent demand to hold hands. He loves that he gets to do all the things with Lan Xichen at once.

“I love you,” Jiang Cheng mutters, already more asleep than awake, but he still fights being completely pulled under until he hears Lan Xichen say it back.

He doesn’t have to wait long at all.

Next part