#reinforcement

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Sarah Stremming

while i’d love to read peoples reasonings for their answers, i’d ask that you don’t put your answer in the tags so that your followers aren’t influenced by your answer

i’ll try to edit this post with the answer shortly before the poll finishes so you can check when you get the poll complete notification!

"Being nice and being kind aren't the same thing.

And often look like opposites."

Nice: Sure, I'll pray along with you, if it would make you feel better. Kind: No, thank you. I don't believe in your god, so I'll just wait until you're done.

Nice: Sure, sweetie, you can have that tattoo for your fifteenth birthday because you want it. Kind: No, a tattoo is inappropriate. When you're older you can make those decisions for yourself. Yes, I know you hate me, but my job is to be your parent, not your friend.

Nice: Sure, I'll call you xhglir/xhglem because you say that's what you feel like this week. Kind: No, I don't think it's healthy to reinforce in a girl the delusion that she's not a girl simply because she likes quadbikes and basketball and hates long hair. You're not defined by stereotypes about what you like, but you are what you are. Hopefully you'll see that one day. Until then, fine, be mad at me.

Nice: Sure, I'll stop posting uncomplimentary things about your religion because seeing them bothers you. Kind: No, your rules about your religion apply to you, not me. Your beliefs aren't immune to criticism or scrutiny just because they're "dearly held" by you. You should probably get used to the fact people are going to talk about them in ways you don't like and don't get to control, because there's a lot of people out there. Getting upset all the time is only going to give them ways to get under your skin.

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Niceness frequently looks like pandering and lying, because it's easier in the short term.