Jun 10
Nyalex, upon learning how Regulus did a magic trick: So you’re not magic? Regulus: Well, not really. Nyalex: You’re just a liar.
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Nyalex, upon learning how Regulus did a magic trick: So you’re not magic? Regulus: Well, not really. Nyalex: You’re just a liar.
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Regulus: Lyssara! What did I tell you about lying? Lyssara, looking down: …That it only works on Nyalex.
Ælexæ: how would you die in willy wonka's chocolate factory
Regulus: id lie to his face until he mustered up the courage to kill me himself
Regulus: "no, I didn't eat any of your chocolate, old man," I'd say, chocolate smeared across my mouth, and I'd get to watch him fume at the sight of it
Regulus: gene wilder's willy wonka is already filled with so much anger i think it would be very funny
Regulus: I'm a skinny guy I wouldn't get stuck in the pipes I'd go right through em. I'm also not stupid enough to chew the unfinished gum or try very hard to steal a squirrel or go through a tv for some fucking reason so I think I'll be okay. there is nothing willy wonka can do to me in this factory that will get me killed. I'm an asshole and I deserve it but he won't be able to do it. no, the guy would have to kill me himself
*While learning a spell.*
Regulus: Maybe some visualization techniques will help. Now I want you to imagine yourself on your knees in front of some guy, you're about to-
Ælexæ: *bursting into laughter* What the fu-
Regulus: Listen to me! Let me finish!
Ælexæ: *still laughing* I don't like where this is going!
Regulus: LET ME FINISH DAMN YOU!
Regulus: ...so you're about to suck him off, right?
Ælexæ: FUCKING WHAT?
*hysterical laughing*
Ælexæ: YOU SAID IT WAS GOING TO GET BETTER! YOU SAID HEAR YOU OUT!
Regulus: I didn't say that, I said "let me finish"!
Ælexæ: *groans* Alright, fine.
Regulus: *continuing* -but you don't. You just grab his cock . And scream at it.
Ælexæ: *bursts out laughing again*
Regulus: Now with that in mind-
Ælexæ: Thank you, oh that makes me waaaaay better!
Regulus: -aaaaaand, go!
Ælexæ: *Hysterical laughing* REALLY!?!?
College Professor [Regulus]: ba ba ba bo bo go... be bo be ba bo... bebo? bogos binned? ba be bo ba...
Toot-Toot: (sitting in complete furious silence arms crossed and frankly about ready to heap his fucking lid)
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Regulus: [OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat]
[I REMOVE A SECOND CONTAINER LABELED "Fairy apples do not eat (Autumn Court)]
[I APPROACH THE BLENDER]
Regulus: I’m gonna nico nico need you to turn that shit off right now.
Frode: its so homophobic that thunderstorms make me want to stand atop a sheer cliff in robes as I brandish a wizard staff but I can't without getting struck by fucking lightning
Regulus: lol this guy doesn't know how to ward off lightning. amateur