Aug 9
Nyalex: Regulus is amazing at concentrating. Once he starts reading, the only way he’ll notice you is if you take his book away. Not even if you hit him or shake him!
The Party: That was him ignoring you.
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Nyalex: Regulus is amazing at concentrating. Once he starts reading, the only way he’ll notice you is if you take his book away. Not even if you hit him or shake him!
The Party: That was him ignoring you.
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Regulus, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Toot-Toot: Hey. Frode: Hi. Ælexæ: Hello. Nyalex: Hey! Regulus: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Lyssara: We were out of Doritos.
Nyalex, upon learning how Regulus did a magic trick: So you’re not magic? Regulus: Well, not really. Nyalex: You’re just a liar.
Regulus: Lyssara! What did I tell you about lying? Lyssara, looking down: …That it only works on Nyalex.
Ælexæ: how would you die in willy wonka's chocolate factory
Regulus: id lie to his face until he mustered up the courage to kill me himself
Regulus: "no, I didn't eat any of your chocolate, old man," I'd say, chocolate smeared across my mouth, and I'd get to watch him fume at the sight of it
Regulus: gene wilder's willy wonka is already filled with so much anger i think it would be very funny
Regulus: I'm a skinny guy I wouldn't get stuck in the pipes I'd go right through em. I'm also not stupid enough to chew the unfinished gum or try very hard to steal a squirrel or go through a tv for some fucking reason so I think I'll be okay. there is nothing willy wonka can do to me in this factory that will get me killed. I'm an asshole and I deserve it but he won't be able to do it. no, the guy would have to kill me himself
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*While learning a spell.*
Regulus: Maybe some visualization techniques will help. Now I want you to imagine yourself on your knees in front of some guy, you're about to-
Ælexæ: *bursting into laughter* What the fu-
Regulus: Listen to me! Let me finish!
Ælexæ: *still laughing* I don't like where this is going!
Regulus: LET ME FINISH DAMN YOU!
Regulus: ...so you're about to suck him off, right?
Ælexæ: FUCKING WHAT?
*hysterical laughing*
Ælexæ: YOU SAID IT WAS GOING TO GET BETTER! YOU SAID HEAR YOU OUT!
Regulus: I didn't say that, I said "let me finish"!
Ælexæ: *groans* Alright, fine.
Regulus: *continuing* -but you don't. You just grab his cock . And scream at it.
Ælexæ: *bursts out laughing again*
Regulus: Now with that in mind-
Ælexæ: Thank you, oh that makes me waaaaay better!
Regulus: -aaaaaand, go!
Ælexæ: *Hysterical laughing* REALLY!?!?
College Professor [Regulus]: ba ba ba bo bo go... be bo be ba bo... bebo? bogos binned? ba be bo ba...
Toot-Toot: (sitting in complete furious silence arms crossed and frankly about ready to heap his fucking lid)
Regulus: [OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat]
[I REMOVE A SECOND CONTAINER LABELED "Fairy apples do not eat (Autumn Court)]
[I APPROACH THE BLENDER]