hmhmhm⌠itâs weird being a fictive whoâs wildly different from source. I want to be good. I want to be good. I wantâŚ.I want. and yet it wasnât meant for me. it wasnât in the cards, it wasnât in my fate. maybe by my own design. my own actions, hmhmhm?
although⌠hmhmhm⌠it is meant for me here, in this life, I suppose. my sourcemates, ex-friends, theyâve already forgiven me. I went out of my way to apologize. And⌠And itâs not like Iâm alone in this feeling, either, especially among our system. Vox, Echidna, victim⌠people who are better. Thereâs even a whole polycule of them, hmhmha!
Melanie⌠sheâs decided to cast all of her exomemories away. they are, after all, at their base, fiction. It feels cruel. It was real to me, in some sense, and to be denied penance is⌠unfulfilling. But⌠hmhmha⌠there is some wisdom, to her words. if it isnât real in this lifetime⌠can I not simply change it? I can write stories, craft things with my own two hands, create and make, where I got out. hmhmha⌠tempting, isnât it? Iâm afraid of being⌠what do you call it, âcringeâ? haha, Scag would like that one⌠for writing myself âout of characterâ, but⌠maybe I shouldnât worry.
sweet dreams, everyone. should that be my sign off, hmhmha?
â Folly, Regretevator (Fictive)