#reflective thoughts

I close my eyes tonight on New Year’s Eve .. it marks the end of 2025 …. It’s been a year that has gone by so very quickly .. work .. dance .. and .. travel .. have all made up the days weeks and months for a busy year ….

2025 again, many things also did not happen for me as I had hoped for .. some things are completely out of your control no matter how hard you try …. Last year has taught me that distractions are your own worst enemy .. when it interferes with your goals that you have set and dreams that become unaccomplished …. That lesson has been so valuable for refocusing on me and my goals to keep striving for my dreams .. I still realise that some of the most difficult and hardest journeys in life are done on your own .. to find the determination and resilience to get back up by yourself should never be underestimated as I progress towards putting the pieces all back together ….

The year would not be the same for me without time at the beach …. This year I have been fortunate to make several trips …. My place to relax .. reflect .. refocus .. rejuvenate .. There is a piece of me that is left at the beach .. always waiting for my return …. This is my favourite place .. where the heart and soul always desires to be ….

My life would not be complete without dance .. it’s been there all of my life …. These are the moments that I live for .. training every week at the studio .. competing in competitions .. the journey to make Championships .. always and forever a dancer ….

We choked the air,

We banished the world’s life,

Stripped the trees, dimmed the sunlight,

And sold the rivers.

We are warriors,

Slaves to our greed.

Money flows in rivers,

Poisons our breath with greed,

Pierces our eyes with wealth.

Because we are warriors,

Slaves of glory.

Hunger devours,

Hearts gasp,

Skin fades.

The mark of the final battle.

We dressed in gleaming armor,

Pulled golden awards with pride, for swords are silver.

Hollow horns blared,

As warm pride embraced us.

We are warriors,

Puppets of our minds.

We wait for death,

The great battle.

We wait to earn our diamond grave,

To rest in muddy soil.

But the soil glares at us with disgust,

Rejects our hollow triumphs.

We are warriors—

Spat out by the soil we defiled.

The year unfolded with a mix of joy and realization, as I indulged in pleasures that brought happiness but didn't contribute to my personal growth. From binge watching dramas to aimless wanderings, the moments were enjoyable yet lacked substance. It's a realization that hits hard, but it's the first step towards change.

In the tapestry of experiences, there were losses too. Unrequited love left it's mark, a lingering thought that accompanies the journey into the next year. Toxic friendships were bid farewell. Through it all, I learned the art of letting go - the invaluable skill of releasing what doesn't serve personal growth.

Amidst the self discovery, acknowledging anger issues became pivotal. Recognizing the impact on relationships, especially with family, has set the stage for intentional change. Turning 19 brought with it a deeper understanding of life's complexities, the inevitability of challenges, and the importance of seeking solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

At the core of my aspirations lies a commitment to self-improvement. The lessons learned and maturity gained over serve as a foundation for the challenges and triumphs that lie ahead. I aim to embrace every opportunity for growth, be it through consistent study, cultivating good habits, or contributing to my family's well being.

Gratitude fills my heart for the life bestowed upon me, and I feel compelled to express thanks to both the God and those who have been instrumental in my journey. Among them, the music and wisdom of BTS have been a guding light, inspiring me to manifest positive changes in the coming year.