#ezarel

EZAREL

One day, mid-job he paused and got hit by the fact that it’s done… your relationship has reached an end. The first days after the break-up he had a great emotional block, and things didn’t seem real to him.

Then, a big wave of anxiety runs over him whenever he sees you laughing with other people, being happy with someone else. I mean, you can be happy, but the thought of you being it thanks to anyone else filling your heart again- the simple thought of you building a future with someone that isn’t him… it breaks him.

I’m so sorry for the person he might become after it, but when he checked that he still had those feelings for you, he decided to be pretty drastic. He started hated everything that reminded him of you, since that was the easiest way to transform those feelings for you into something far from love. He also avoided those places where he used to go with you and had a deep meaning on the relationship.

However, most of the time he found himself overthinking and asking himself “was it really that necessary to break up?”. But he’d focus on the negative stuff that could’ve happened on the relationship to answer himself, even the smallest detail.

It’s pretty childish, but it was the easiest way for him to forget those feelings.

He might get scolded by some of your mates to stop acting like a dumbass, and he sometimes wished to be left alone for a while so no one could care too much about him.

After the relationship he had with you, it is truly difficult for him to open up for love again. He even hates the simple idea of it, because he once imagined a future with you just to try to think about a future alone again. He was so used to think about everything with you that losing the habit was truly difficult.

NEVRA

He tries to convince himself that he will get over it soon, but he realizes that life isn’t the same without you. You were his first and probably last long and stable relationship. It was the first time he understood why do people suffer from love.

I hate writing this, but it’s somehow canon that he returned to the old habit: hooking up with whoever offered him the time. However, he couldn’t help but think about you all the time. And it made him feel like a bad person. He was practically comparing them to you and using them to distract himself from the thought of you.

He hates not valuating enough how you always were there for him. Now his company is momentaneous and not loyal, not even loving for a bit. Everything is empty and just lustful.

He overthinks if the reason why you broke up with him was because you doubted of him… he is aware of his reputation before dating you and fears that you ever doubted of him being unloyal to you. Because he never was. You taught him how great love could feel and how precious it could have been to grow old with the same person.

He can still recognize your scent through meters, and misses burying his nose in your hair whenever he hugged you. And whenever you’re around, he would try to look to other side but… his eyes always end up on you.

Nevra would treat you the same as always, but avoiding the flirty behavior. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or seem like a crazy, persistent ex. He might ask you about how things are going just for a mutual update of life, but without getting into details that he is still not over you.

VALKYON

It seems like it doesn’t affect him, but it does more than you can imagine. When someone mentions your name, his thoughts become blurry and he can only focus on the thought of you. He might also get weak whenever you pronounce his name in a certain way or he sees your smile directed at him. God that’s even more painful than a stab on his side.

He will treat you with the same coldness as the beginning. Everything ended, including his closeness to you. And it somehow burns him inside that you know him so much, all his sides. From his weakness to his strength. He knows that you were the correct person and doesn’t regret opening up to you in the past, but now… he finds it difficult to open up again since your connection isn’t that deep anymore.

And that exactly is what he keeps thinking even after the relationship: you were the correct person for him. He didn’t need anyone else. But he was maybe not the correct one for you.

Valkyon is the type of person who prefers to not trip on over the same stone again and try to get over it, even if it hurts. The relationship ended instead of fighting to keep it, so he knows it’s over. He wishes that you find your path in life and be happy.

But all those thoughts of you holding your children, of growing old together… those are thoughts he has to drown in some drinks at night. He might need Ezarel or Nevra by his side during those nights, needing a shoulder to cry on.

He still remembers your favorite stuff and might prepare things the same way as he did to you unconsciously.

And when he died, he died knowing that his heart would have an owner even in the afterlife.

LEIFTAN

To start with, he thought he could handle it well. The best thing to do when things aren’t working out is to stop forcing the connection.

He continued doing his life and seeing you through the corridors of the HQs, but that was what broke him the most even if he didn’t want to accept it. 

In front of you, he might act with the same kindness as he treats everybody else. But the moment he is alone, he tries to compose himself and not breakdown. He misses you.

And he misses you the most during nights, when he finds the spot besides him empty and cold. He finds himself caressing the empty spot besides him and crying, missing those good night kisses and words you always gave him so sweetly.

This, however, makes him feel guilty and embarrassed. You probably forgot about those nights, you probably had more important things to think about rather than old memories from someone you’re not emotionally attached anymore.

Whenever you both are in a meeting or a party organized in the HQs, he has to leave and go for a walk. He adores knowing you’re happy and doing well, but it lowkey hurts him to see that he can’t share that happiness the same way as before. And it will never be the same again.

Whenever he talks about you, he cannot say a bad word. He talks about you with a mix of melancholy and happiness.

LANCE

He keeps your gifts and more than once has started writing letters for you, but ended up throwing those papers away. Those letters are filled of questions, of apologies in case he did something wrong, of words that had a deep meaning but would never be read.

He wonders if you still think about him just as much as he does or if you even hate him. And he’d prefer that you hate him instead of being so kind with him, because your kindness is what made him fall in love the most.

He avoids you because he cannot handle looking at your eyes directly. So if you try to talk to him, he’d simply say “I’m sorry” and leave, pretending that he is too busy to talk. But he is actually busier trying not to feel.

He still notices any slight change on your physical appearance and finds himself weird for doing that. And maybe you thought he was weird now, that he was a ridiculous and weak man.

Mathieu tried to distract him, he tried to make Lance open up but it ended up badly. Lance didn’t mean to snap at him, and it was another reason for him to feel even worse about himself — but Mathieu knew it was just a mistake. So he kept himself by his side in case Lance needed company and support, even if it wasn’t the same as yours.

Lance spends sleepless nights wondering what he did wrong, what could’ve made him improve as a partner for you. And also drowning himself in memories he created with you.

He is aware he cannot stay sad for the rest of his life and tries to move on as well, to be mature and know that he could learn to love himself more to enjoy more of his lonely moments.

But it feels impossible, and the fact that he keeps seeing you every day hurts him the most.

MATHIEU

The first days, it doesn’t feel real. He is in some sort of denial that has him on the edge constantly. Lance has had to comfort him more than once since he didn’t know what to do. Sometimes he felt calm, sometimes he felt like world was ending without you.

That cute spark of energy on his eyes is gone for a while, for as long as he still gets anxious when he thinks or is around you. For as long as he keeps thinking and thinking without stop.

He was used to overthink whenever things went slightly wrong, but knew how to mask it properly. But this situation was too big for him to cover it.

He finds himself wanting to share some news, sudden thoughts and experiences with you. But he fears that doing that will only attach him even more to you, so he tries to suppress all those urges and distract himself.

It’s sad how the only way to get over those feelings were distancing and detaching himself from you.

The first time you tried to communicate with him normally he tried to hold the tears so dearly, you even had to step back from the conversation because he was trying truly hard to not cry in front of you.

He wonders if there is a life in which you both can be happily together, married and old.

He spends more time with Lance to distract himself, and he slowly starts to stop feeling anxious when he thinks of you! Even though he still believes that you were the love of his life and the one he wanted to spend the rest of his days with.