#redacted juno

I woke up in the middle of the night to peaceful silence, my mother and Anatoly sound asleep. Anatoly slept in her nest tonight, his small frame hidden within her long fur. My nest was pulled closer to theirs as well. 

I yawned but nearly gagged at the scent that filled my nostrils. 

It was stale–decayed. 

I sat up and walked towards the entrance of our den, but didn’t dare leave it. The night was calm—nothing in the plaza could’ve caused the scent. 

The wind coursed through my fur and made me shiver–I backed away. I laid back down in my nest, my head on my paws as I watched the steady breathing of my mother and Anatoly. 

I closed my eyes, but that awful scent still filled my nose. It seemed to have injected itself into the air, a sickly venom that made me dizzy. 

The minutes dragged into hours until I heard a noise from outside—a distant howl from the Southern gate. My ears perked up, but I figured it was just one of the guards calling for another wolf. I’d heard a similar sound before. 

But when the howls continued and grew closer, I couldn’t ignore them. I didn’t leave my nest but raised my head from my paws and looked towards the plaza. The wind was gone. 

I was about to wake up my mother when I heard a crash at the gate, and I saw that it had been shattered. Jagged stone daggers rained down onto the ground as three wolves ran through the wreckage. 

One called out, her voice hoarse in my head, “Shades! Shades are coming! They got through the South–” 

But before she finished, a figure shrouded in black tackled her to the ground. I could barely even see it, but I watched as the shadow moved, slithering its way around her as it tore through her fur and skin, its outline growing more solid as it absorbed the life from her. 

I backed away, my heart pounding in my ears. My mother and brother awoke behind me, and I could hear her ask me what was happening, but her voice sounded like it was muffled by water. A white noise that echoed in my head so loudly I felt like my skull would split in half.

My mother didn’t say anything as she looked outside toward the plaza. More and more Shades had made their way in, shadowy puddles spilling across the ground towards dens and wolves. She turned towards Anatoly and me–he was shivering. 

“We’re going to leave the village,” she instructed, her voice completely calm, “You both are going to follow on my right, do you hear me? Do not trail behind me, move to my other side, or in front of me. Stay on my right.” 

She leaned down to look at both of us. “And do not look back. Do you understand?” 

We both said ‘yes’, and she backed away towards the den entrance. She paused before motioning both of us to follow quickly behind her. 

Once we left the den, we ran along the outer perimeter of the plaza, the sounds of Shades and wolf cries deafening. Don’t look back, I told myself, Don’t look back or you’re dead. Don’t look back. Don’t. 

But when I heard the rattled shriek of a Shade behind me, I looked back. 

I howled when its thick black claws raked through my right hind leg, blood soaking my fur as I flung it off of me into the wall of the den beside me. I dove and clamped its wiry body between my maw, shaking my head back and forth as tendrils of shadow forced their way down my throat. I choked but didn’t let go, one final crunch tearing the thing into dozens of black, viscous pieces. 

Deep breaths filled my throat with flame, adrenaline pumping through my veins as I turned to continue following my mother and Anatoly. They were only a little ways up ahead and I sprinted after them, ignoring the agonizing burn in my leg to keep up with them. 

My mother turned to me, her gaze filled with horror. “Tarak, I’m sorry, I heard the Shade after you did and would’ve come to you but I couldn’t leave Anatoly by himself–” 

“It’s okay,” I reassured, “I’m okay–we’re okay.” 

She must’ve seen the blood on my leg because she cried, “Tarak, you’re bleeding! I’m sorry, I should’ve protected you and I–” 

“Mom!” I interrupted, “I am fine. Just a scratch, we’ll worry about it later, when we’re safe. We need to keep running.” 

I looked at her and didn’t break eye contact. I had never seen her this scared before. 

“Okay,” she said, and she took a deep breath, “Okay. Follow me.” 

I could hear her heartbeat begin to slow down, even when it seemed like the massacre taking place around us grew louder. I shielded Anatoly from it, my tail around his body as I directed him straight forward, not letting him even catch a glance at what was happening. 

Up ahead, I saw Mahsati and Gunibuu, another Ruling House member, directing wolves away from where the Shades were coming in. Their voices rang loud even over all the noise, and I felt some of my worries dissipate. 

We’re gonna be fine. We’ll get out of here, we’ll see Dad and I’ll see Juno, and we’ll go to that lake, and everything’ll– 

A crowd of Shades ripped through three dens on the opposite side of the plaza and charged toward us at full speed. I jumped and called to my mother and Anatoly, quickly pushing them forward as the wave grew closer and closer. 

But we weren’t fast enough–the undertow dragged us under and suddenly, they were both gone. 

All I could see was a tide of black washing over everything in my view, a whirlpool of death and expiry. I turned again in that river of death, hoping to see them, hoping to realize that maybe they were swimming too, but I kept turning, kept looking, kept searching. 

Nothing.

Terror gripped my neck and closed it shut and suddenly my world began to spin. The ground became the sky and I was drowning in the starless night, failing to breathe as I struggled to find the surface. Slippery talons raked through my fur and I cried at the burn, my paws flailing out helplessly beneath me as I tried to find my footing. 

I finally felt the familiar grit of ground on my paw and I clamped my claws down as hard as I could, ignoring the pain that shot through my leg as I shook myself vigorously, the irritated screams of Shades' ear-piercing as they were sent flying throughout the plaza. Electricity ignited from around my legs, and I directed it to the remaining two Shades in front of me, a strangled growl ripping from my throat as my body pumped the magic from my core. 

Two lightning bolts sliced through the solid Shades, their form melting before evaporating into the night air. 

My breathing was labored, my attention quickly shifting from the Shades to getting out of there and finding Anatoly and my mother. They must’ve run through the exit before the barrage of Shades overcame me–I told myself they were okay and safe on the other side. They had to be. 

As I searched for the exit through the chaos, I caught a glimpse of familiar burgundy fur flash through the flurry of black shadow, and I recognized it as Juno’s. Once the realization hit me, I could feel the aura of her core, a glowing beacon of radiative life and vitality that had me stumbling towards it, the agony and aching in my legs now ignored and tossed aside. 

I called to her, a watery, anguished cry that I prayed could be heard over all the noise, “Juno! JUNO!” 

Her head poked out from a horde of Shades, her hind leg kicking out behind her as she stomped one of them into the ground. “Tarak!” She called back, her voice strong and mighty, even when I smelled the blood coating her fur. 

I began to run even faster toward her, fighting the limp in my leg as I felt the need to get to her grow stronger. 

I reached my tail out to her when I finally grew close enough, but I watched in horror as a Shade ran towards her from behind, its massive, solid body towering over her as sickening, wet snarls echoed from its form. I immediately lunged to bite onto her flank and pull her away, but just before my teeth clasped over her fur, the Shade swung its claws down onto Juno, and she launched through the remnants of the plaza gate. 

I sprinted towards her, her name punching its way through my teeth over and over when she remained unmoving. When I finally got over to her, her torso was crushed beneath a dense chunk of stone, her small frame misshapen and deformed on the ground. Blood seemed to have spilled onto every part of her body, her coat tinted black from the smeared essence of Shades on her fur. 

I pushed the stone off of her, choked, suffering grunts vibrating to the tips of my claws as I kicked it into the middle of the plaza, Shades scattering from the impact. I bit down lightly onto the scruff behind her neck and pulled her slowly, delicately, away from the rubble, careful not to shift the shattered bones or disturb the wounds sliced into her skin. 

I pulled her behind one of the dens that were still standing, its large walls safe cover from the Shades running rampant through the village. I stared over her, my eyes trailing over her body again as I assessed her injuries. I had no idea where to start, no clue how to heal her and take away her suffering. 

My paws were shaking and I could feel my core stumbling, pitiful wisps of green light flowing around me as I tried to heal her injuries. I grit my teeth together even as the agony grew worse, my exhausted core taking its revenge against my body, but I tried to ignore it.

I ignored it, ignored the agony until I felt my own wounds rip open even further, and the sickening crack of my ribs filled the air before a groan left me and I collapsed against the ground. I lifted my head slowly and looked towards Juno, the world spinning as I saw that her eyes had opened. Her green, familiar eyes, were awake with the gaze that made me feel like I was home. 

She looked tired, her lids barely open as she stared at me. “Hi,” was all she said. 

The simple, informal greeting made cries close up my throat, and I whimpered. “J–Juno, I–I’m so, so sorry, I just, I can’t–” 

“I know,” she whispered, “I know, Tarak. It’s okay.” 

I shook my head back and forth vigorously. “No, no, it’s not okay, I can’t–I can’t heal you, I can’t–I can’t do it, Juno, my core, it–it just–” 

The words spilled from my core into hers. “This is all my fault, if I just hadn’t called to you, if I had just let you be or–or given you a warning about–about the Shade then–then you wouldn’t be here, you’d still be standing, and you’d be okay, you wouldn’t be hurting, and I could heal you and we’d leave and–” 

“Tarak.” 

I stopped and blinked at her. She continued, “I don’t blame you, okay? It’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything, so why apologize? That’s what you always say, isn’t it? And as far as I know, the great Tarak, future Kahn’méja, is never wrong.” 

“Gods,” I sighed, “Only you would be able to make a joke when you’re about to… when you’re…” 

I couldn’t even finish the sentence, the knowledge that I already knew what was going to happen was too much for me to admit out loud. I watched as Juno feebly lifted her tail from off the ground and laid it on top of mine, and I wrapped mine around hers. 

“How are you still able to do that? I feel like a bag of bones,” I murmured. 

Juno giggled. “I told you I was super-ultra-mega-powerful. My core is gargantuan, far surpassing yours. You underestimate my power, young Tarak.” 

“I thought I was the ‘great Tarak’?” 

“Two things can be true at the same time, young one.” 

“You sound like my father. Stop.” 

“But dichotomy is a wondrous thing, o’ Tarak-mé–” 

“Juno!” 

Her laughter was quiet and hoarse, but Gods, did I savor the sound. I replayed it in my head over and over again even after it ended, and I turned to her again. We sat in silence for a long while and each time Juno blinked, her eyes stayed closed for a little longer. I pulled myself closer to her when I noticed her begin to shiver, a sickening rattle that had me holding sobs in my throat. 

“Tarak,” she breathed, “Tarak?” 

“Yes, Juno?” 

“We’re going to see each other again,” she started, “We will, I know we will, and it better be millions of years from now because you’re gonna get your immortality, and you’re gonna do whatever makes you happy. I may not be with you physically for all of it, but I will be there, behind you, for every step you take–I did tell you I wasn’t gonna ever let you escape, didn’t I? 

“And I’ll be okay–I know you’re worrying about that. I’ll be fine, I’ll figure it all out. Maybe I’ll be in the sky somewhere, a star so bright you’ll know it’s me. I’ll twinkle just for you so you know–how does that sound?”  

“That sounds perfect, Juno,” I whispered.

A shaky, contented sigh fell from her and I lay closer to her, our coats brushing each other as our paws touched. She rested her head underneath mine, and I kept my cries in as I felt her ending coming ever closer. 

“We’ll go to that lake you mentioned when we see each other again, okay?” 

“We will, Juno. I’ll make sure of it.” 

“Good,” she sighed, “I love you, Tarak.” 

“I… I… I love you, too, Juno.” 

One last glow flowed from her core when she said, “See you later.” Her core’s radiance faded as she took her final breath, her back raising and lowering one last time before it never moved again. 

No amount of Shades’ claws could’ve rivaled the wave of pain that overcame me next, an agony so forceful it penetrated its way into every fiber of my being. I howled into Juno’s chilled fur, cries of anguish pulsing through the thick, suffocating night air. I screamed at the black sky, cursing every Sun and every star above me for taking her away so cruelly, so viciously. Juno lay limp in my arms and suddenly my world was over–everything was over. 

I finally pulled away from her, the sight of her tail falling limply to the ground had me swallowing another howl. I moved her behind the den’s wall where she would be protected, where no Shade could go scavenging for the life that had already been taken away from her. 

Once I made sure she would be safe, I moved away, but I didn’t get far when I began to sway. I looked down to truly see how much blood I had lost, and I saw that my fur was matted in it, and the ground beneath me had been stained red. The sky above me swung back and forth like a pendulum, a rhythmic movement that had me spinning before I collapsed again.