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My dad says to me last night “hey…you know that Fans Only?”
Me: ……..only fans?
Dad: yea! That’s it…do men do that, too?
Me: of course they do
Dad: they only ever really talk about the women doing it
Me: well dad…let’s look at sex work as a whole…they only EVER care about the women that are doing it….dancing, prostitution, only fans…etc. women are always sluts and whores, but they never stop to focus on the men who do it, too.
Dad: *epic silence*
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My dad lost his sandwich once and he asked my sister I for help so we searched for it all around our house, we didn’t find his sandwich so he prepared another one, minutes later , when he was all comfortable on the couch he looked above the TV furniture and there it was. He ate both. He laughed all day. I always tell my friends that story every time they asked me how my parents personality are.
An Actual Conversation With My Dad This Morning
Dad, at the window: Woah, have you seen the sun?
Me: Are you... Dad, why are you looking directly at the sun???
Dad: It’s bright orange! Well, red. Look!
Me, at the window: Why are you - oh, what the HELL.
Dad, cheerfully: It’s the Apocalypse!
Me: No, Dad.
Dad, still cheerful: We’re all going to die!!
Me: No, Dad.
Dad: do you want a Turkey or beef Burger?
Me: Turkey.
Dad: you vegetarian.
Me:...dad...Turkey is meat...
Dad: same thing.
What?
Me: I finished another show. What should I watch next?
Dad: You should watch [insert western type, definitely not sci-fi / fantasy type show]
Me: 😖 It's like you don't even know me.
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A few month ago my family came to see me in my high schools play, and during the last scene my character pops of and gets all angry and yells at another character. My father, completely serious, said to me, ‘I could tell there was some real anger in your performance. You need to stop being angry at your brother.’
He thought, because I seemed angry on stage, purposefully, that I had some pent up anger against my brother. Who was not the person I was yelling at, or even a part of the theatre group.
Me to my dad: I'm in a depressive episode right now.
My dad: Why do you do that to yourself?
Me, mentally: Literally anything can trigger my guilt and anxiety which in turn throws me to the wolves a.k.a my depression.
Me: (Home visiting my parents for the weekend, watching a cooking show on TV)
My Dad: Enough of this, let’s watch something good! (puts on golf)
Me: ????????????????????
