If there was one thing you were good at, it was keeping secrets. You had a very big secret that you direly needed to keep…and it directly involved your boyfriend, Noah Sebastian. Was he the secret? No. Was your relationship the secret? No. There were things about him that no one was to know, not even you were supposed to. But he told you anyway, because you were the lucky soul that would get to spend this lifetime with him.

It had been a few days since you’d seen Noah. Last you knew, he and the boys were on a ‘hunting’ trip out of state. They liked to do their business away from home as to not raise suspicion. They liked to steer attention away from them so they could stay in one place longer if they liked it enough.

In the few days that Noah was gone, you unfortunately had started your period. You had hoped you weren’t so that when he got back, you could welcome him back to one of his favorite places, between your legs. But now, that was ruined.

You grumbled as you walked into your bedroom from the bathroom, just having put on clean pajamas after a shower. You walked over to your bedroom window and opened it to let the cool night air in. You sometimes had a bad case of hot flashes on your period, and tonight they were particularly worse than other times. You held your lower stomach with one hand, flicking off the light switch with the other before finally crawling into bed and pulling the covers over yourself. You curled up in a ball as your lower stomach ached, a groan leaving your lips as you tried to close your eyes.

You were restless, the pain just aggravating enough that you couldn’t focus on falling asleep. You huffed, tossing and turning about until you finally found a position that relieved the pain just enough for you to manage to shut your eyes and comfortably fall asleep.

Outside your window, watching from a distance, was Noah, who had just returned from his time away. He knew your scent better than anyone, and unfortunately for him, he could smell the blood the second they entered the city. When the smell first hit him, his irises turned a solid black, his fangs showing themselves as he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath as he let the smell intoxicate him. He opened his eyes, licking his lips before making his way towards your house.

Noah was pretty good about staying away from you on your period, simply because he didn’t trust himself not to lose himself in you. But tonight, he could almost feel your pain as the pain of need radiated through him. He fed well on his ‘hunt’, but there was something about you that stirred a whole new hunger throughout him. He wasn’t just sniffing you out, he was starving to death for you and wasn’t going to stop until he had a taste.

Noah made his way to your house, looking up at your second story open window, the smell getting stronger and stronger as he neared. He could feel pain in his belly now, his throat on fire as the smell overpowered him. The whites of his eyes were burning and blood red now, his irises completely blacked out as he used his strength to climb the siding of your house, using your window ledge as a hurdle and climbing inside.

Noah was silent, like a ninja when he slipped into your room. His footsteps never echoed, his movements never made sound. Even the material of the black leather jacket he wore never made a sound as he was careful, trying to be still as to not wake you. Noah rolled his eyes and hung his head in shame as he stood at the foot of the bed, clenching his fists. He felt so Twilight coded, the way he felt guilty about standing here and watching you like a creep. He normally didn’t do things like this. He always respected your privacy and never came in without you knowing, but tonight was different. He couldn’t help himself tonight, and he was sorry for it.

Noah carefully peeled off his clothes as he did not want to make a bloody mess on himself. He was usually a dainty eater and never made messes to the best of his ability, but he couldn’t promise that tonight, he wouldn’t be an absolutely disgusting animal either. He carefully lifted the edge of the covers, just enough for him to slip underneath before he crawled under, seeing your bare legs crossed over each other, the silk nightgown you wore riding up your thighs, exposing the black panties you had on underneath. Noah could see the lump of a pad that you wore underneath the fabric and he smiled to himself. His fangs were almost vibrating with anticipation as he neared the center of it all, the pain in his throat almost excruciating as he carefully reached forward, gently parting your legs. He moved slowly, listening to see if you’d stir, but you did not. Your soft breaths continued steadily and he let out the breath he’d been holding.

Noah reached forward and grabbed the waistband of your panties before carefully tugging them down, trying to be careful not to wake you and also trying to be careful as not to waste a drop. He slowly pulled your panties down your legs before pulling them completely off. He turned to look at the pad inside of the underwear, seeing that there wasn’t much there since you had just showered and just put it on prior to laying down. He glanced to your core, seeing just a slight glisten at your entrance. Gravity was on his side tonight, knowing that everything waiting to come out was still in there, waiting for him to clean it all up.

Noah spread your thighs a little further before scooting closer. He stared down at your pussy, his mouth watering as his lips parted, his fangs aching with want as his eyes and throat burned with such intensity. He’d never felt this thirsty for someone before. He’d tasted tons of blood over the years, but nothing could compare to the scent of yours. He had to taste you, even if it was just once in your lifetime. He knew that he was risking it all, the possibility of him going feral and tearing you to shreds very much so on the line, but for whatever reason, he was extremely confident that he wasn’t going to let that happen.

Noah licked his lips before leaning in and closing his eyes, taking a deep inhale of you. You smelled wonderful, the smell of your freshly washed skin a mix of your soap, the lotion you had used and now, the blood. The blood smelled almost sickeningly sweet to him. He shuddered as he opened his eyes a and licking his lips. He gulped before sighing, leaning in closer.

”I’m sorry baby,” He whispered before he finally dove in for the kill.

Noah’s mouth completely enveloped your pussy, his lips closing around you as his tongue drove directly into your entrance. In your sleep, your back arched as the sensation jolted you. You let out a small whine, your eyes still shut as he ceased his motions. He sat still for a second, hoping you wouldn’t wake before he deemed the coast clear, going back to work. His tongue dipped in and out of you, his lips sucking, trying to pull what he could from you when you whined, your legs twitching around his head.

Noah closed his eyes, his hands gripping onto the backs of your thighs as he began to lap at your clit with his tongue. He wasn’t going to leave a single trace behind by the time he was done. Noah started to get so lost in the taste of you that he didn’t even notice your fingers that made their way down to lace through his hair, or the way your gentle breathing had stopped. His fangs grazed your clit as he curled his tongue inside of you, your hips bucking up against him. His eyes screwed shut as he moaned against you, the thought of you finishing while he ate you out making him hard.

”N-Noah?” Your sleepy voice rang out and Noah startled, his eyes shooting open and him freezing in place as you tossed the covers back off of you and him, a gentle gasp leaving your lips as you looked down, seeing his mouth locked tight onto your pussy. Your eyes were half lidded, a lazy smile spreading across your face. “What are you doing? I-I’m on my period, you’re not supposed to be here,” You muttered and he reluctantly pulled away, his lips leaving your pussy slowly.

”I uh, well, I knew you were on your period. And I figured you were probably cramping and not feeling good, but I also missed you and…I just wanted to make you feel good…” He lied, his eyes not meeting yours. Even in the dark, you could make out his face from the light of the moon. You could see the odd color to his eyes, one you had never seen before. It startled you, the face of his hunger unfamiliar to you. In this state, he looked feral. His fangs showing, his irises black and the whites of his eyes blood red. He looked almost like a demon in this light, his pale skin a ghostly white adding to the mix.

”Are you sure? You look…” You trailed off, searching for the right words but Noah swallowed nervously, still not meeting your eyes. “I thought you were hunting.” You said and he nodded.

”I was…” He started. “But then I came back and I smelled you and I just…I can’t help it. I HAD to have a taste.” He said and you bit your lip. Something about him needing to taste you this bad made your clit throb and you gave a sly smile.

”Well don’t stop.” You said and his eyes finally met yours, the look of shame being replaced with confusion.

”A-Aren’t you scared I’ll lose control?” He asked and you shook your head.

”No, I trust you. I’ve missed you and god, you feel so good right now, I want you to eat me. Fuck Noah, please, eat my pussy,” You begged and he felt his cock throbbing inside of his jeans.

”Fuck, say less baby girl,” He whispered as he buried his face back into your pussy.

Your head fell back onto your pillows, a moan escaping your lips as he moved his head side to side, his tongue diving back into your bloody hole. Noah slurped and sucked, trying to draw every last drop of blood from inside of your pussy out into his mouth. He licked you and sucked your clit, grinding his hips against the mattress as your moans fueled him to keep going. Your pussy pulsated around his tongue, his eyes beginning to lighten up as his hunger gradually began to become satisfied. He’d finally had a taste of you, the newfound taste equivalent to a drug. He was hooked, and you wouldn’t be able to keep him away during your period now.

”Noah, fuck, I need you inside. Your cock, or your fingers, please,” You begged and Noah moaned against your pussy before reaching up and sliding his fingers inside of you. He gently fucked his middle and ring fingers inside of you, curling upwards while he continued to lick and suck your clit. You moaned out, back arching as he began to pick up the speed.

”Your pussy tastes so fucking good baby, fuck I’ll never be able to be away from you on your period again.” He growled against your pussy and you smirked down at him.

”And here I thought you were just down there to ‘make me feel good’.” You teased and he rolled his eyes.

”Well…I do want to make you feel good…obviously.” He gave a small smile before he pulled his fingers from you, holding his hand up and examining it in the moonlight. He could see the blood running down them, a groan leaving his lips as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean.

You watched as he pulled his clean fingers from his mouth and he wiped them on his pant leg. You raised your hips up towards him, trying to get him to come back.

”Noah, please, fuck me, please,” You begged and he grinned.

”You want me to fuck you baby?” He asked, reaching down and unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans.

”Yes,” You whimpered, keeping your hips raised up. “I’ve missed you and want to feel you inside of me again, please,” You begged and you looked down as you saw him tug down his jeans, his hard cock straining underneath the boxers he wore. He finally pulled his boxers down, releasing his hard cock. He pulled his jeans and boxers off before throwing them onto the floor and crawling on top of you. You reached down and grabbed onto his hard cock, beginning to stroke it.

A hiss left Noah’s lips as you stroked him gently, your pussy throbbing, begging to be filled by him. You spread your thighs wider and guided his cock to your entrance before you rubbed the head of his cock up and down your wet slit. You rubbed him against your clit, moaning out as he bit his lip, his fangs sticking out more so than the rest of his teeth. He finally reached down and grabbed your hand before lacing his fingers with yours and pinning your arm down beside your head. He moved his hips, the tip of his cock sliding down and meeting with your slick entrance before he finally pushed in, your mouth falling open and a choked whine leaving your lips.

”Fuck,” He whispered as he pushed further into you, his cock stretching you around him. He was so desperate to feel your pussy clenching around him again. He could practically cum just from feeling you around him. “I missed your pussy way too much babygirl,” He grumbled before beginning to thrust into you slowly.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him in close as he fucked you, his cock sliding in and out of your extra wet pussy. You felt him shudder as he closed his eyes, soaking up the feeling of being inside of you again after being away for so long. He began to pick up the pace, the sounds of your pussy squelching around him filling the room. Your breath caught in your throat as you reached up and rested your hand on his cheek, his eyes opening and meeting yours. You both locked eyes as he fucked into you, Noah leaning into your touch as you moaned out, silent gasps leaving his lips as he felt you clenching around him.

”God I love you,” He whispered and he felt you tighten even more around him.

”I love you too,” You whispered back as he leaned his forehead against yours, your eyes closing as he reached down and grabbed you by your hips.

”Gonna fucking cum, I want to feel you cum on my cock baby, please,” He begged you, leaning back so he could see. He reached down and began to circle his thumb on your clit while he began to fuck you hard and fast. You propped one leg up onto his shoulder and kicked your other leg to the side as he rested his head against your shin that rested on his shoulder, his hand squeezing your thigh as he buried his cock deep into you.

”Noah, fuck, faster, p-please,” You panted and he began to fuck you at an inhuman pace, earning a choked cry from you. Your nails dug into his his thighs as you grabbed onto him to pull him as close as possible, your release finally snapping.

You screamed out, your pussy clamping down around him as he drove himself into you, collapsing on top of you as he came inside of you as well. You felt him throbbing inside of you as he released and you shivered, biting your lip as he let out a deep groan in your ear. You both stayed like that for a moment, attempting to catch your breath as he finally pulled out of you, a mix of blood and cum beginning to seep out of you. He quickly hopped up and ran to grab a towel before rushing it back to you, stuffing it between your legs to catch the mess.

”Thanks,” You huffed, taking ahold of the towel and wiping yourself off. You looked up at Noah’s face, noticing that his eyes had gone back to normal. He must’ve really been down bad for it with the way his eyes had looked earlier. Earlier he looked terrifying, enough to the point that you were kind of scared of him. Noah used the other end of the towel to wipe himself off before he found your panties and held them up.

”How about you go clean up and I’ll hold you until you go back to sleep?” He suggested and you nodded, climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom.

After you and Noah had cleaned up and redressed, Noah laid down with you in bed and held you close, his hands gently massaging your lower stomach as you curled up into him. He smiled to himself before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

”Do you feel any better?” He asked and you nodded, yawning.

”Yeah, much better. I was having a hard time getting to sleep before but I feel better now. Thank you.” You mumbled, closing your eyes. He shut his eyes as well, letting out a breath of relief from just being beside you. Although he couldn’t exactly sleep, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t try.

”Anything for you. Goodnight baby,” He said quietly.

”Goodnight Noah.”

Jolly knows this- Everyone on tour knows this. Secrets are not safe around Noah. Whatever he perceives will be known by everyone in less than twenty-four hours. 

So, Jolly is not surprised when Noah scampers up to him with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“I saw your girl walking into her room with some rando.” Noah can barely get the words out of his mouth fast enough. Jolly realizes now that there’s equal parts pity and mischief in those eyes.

Which feels uncalled for, honestly. Jolly knows his… infatuation is no secret to those very close to him, but it’s not like he’s prone to punching guys who look at you too long.

Because how could he expect anyone to not look? You’re a fucking smokeshow, on top of being a career-oriented Head-Bitch-In-Charge. Their tour wouldn’t function without you and Matt running around and yelling at people to get shit done. 

Everyone else holds a certain amount of fear in their heart towards you. It’s understandable, truly. Jolly once saw you make a disgruntled TSA agent cry when they tried to deny his passport coming back into the States. Folio seemed like he might cry just watching, but Jolly swears he saw him rocking a chub for at least an hour afterwards. 

“Maneater” feels mean spirited. “Ferocious” and “intense” were fairly accurate, though. 

Jolly’s mind can’t help but wander to whoever you deemed worthy of bringing back to your hotel room. What is that guy like? Some burly man with a throat tattoo and a Harley he’d ride away on? One of those slinky pretty boys with eyeliner and a horse cock? 

He supposes he might get to see for himself, as your room is right next to his tonight. 

Because of course it is.

Oh, God, what if he hears you-

Suddenly feeling nauseous, Jolly remembers he needs to actually respond to Noah. 

“Okay?” Is his brilliant and incredibly cool reply. 

Noah groans. “Come on, man! Go interrupt them and bust down the door, whisk her away and kill the other guy!” 

Murder seems a plausible idea for a few seconds as Jolly considers this stranger’s hands touching you. It’s easy to picture you shaking and gasping under someone’s attentive touch, though in his head it’s usually him on top of you. To even consider someone else doing so feels borderline sacrilegious. He shakes the thought from his mind. 

“That’s her business.” He tries to end the conversation at once, sounding resigned. 

Noah has the decency to let it drop, though he’s probably figured out that it wouldn’t go anywhere to begin with. The last thing Jolly wants to do is make you feel uncomfortable at your place of work, especially when you’re so good at your job. Losing you would affect the entire Bad Omens camp, not just him. Making any kind of move would be selfish on his part.

Jolly doesn’t dwell on the assumed rejection he would face from you, regardless of his own feelings.

They pass the time in Noah’s room, reviewing the setlist for their show tomorrow. Jolly relishes in the moments like this, when they arrive a few days early to whatever location they’re playing. Going from plane to bus to venue is exhausting, and he’d be a liar if he said it wasn’t starting to get hard on his body. 

Soon, though, it’s late enough for him to admit he’s tired. Noah seems to mirror the sentiment with a yawn, eyes heavy-lidded at the mere mention of sleep.

They part ways, Jolly making his way down halls and around corners to return to his own room. He’s a few doors away when a commotion makes him glance up. 

A man is abruptly shoved out of a door, into the hallway. He’s stripped down to nothing but a pair of boxer briefs, a problem quickly remedied by a pair of pants flying out the door to land on his face, followed by what appears to be a shirt, two crumpled socks, and a pair of sneakers. 

Jolly is bewildered for all of three seconds before he realizes the man, as it would seem, is being kicked out of your room. 

Unsure of how to proceed, Jolly watches as the man yanks on his pants hastily, pulling on his socks afterward. He’s grumbling to himself, though Jolly can’t make out the exact words. 

The stranger finally spots Jolly in the hallway as he goes to put on his shirt. 

“That bitch is crazy.” The man snaps at Jolly. There’s an air of familiarity in his voice, like Jolly would somehow inherently understand the meaning of his words. 

It dawns to Jolly that the “bitch” this man is talking about is you. Rage bubbles up in him, his own retort cut off when the stranger continues, unaware. 

“Meet a girl at a bar, she invites you back to her hotel room- I think asking for a blowjob was a fair fucking assumption, come on. But what happens? She blows up! Starts yelling about how I don’t care if she cums and how that somehow makes me bad at sex?” Fully clothed, his shoes are halfway on his feet as he turns around and storms down the hallway, still muttering to himself.

Jolly processes everything in half speed. The man is long gone by the time he pieces things together, which is probably for the best- If Jolly ended up in prison for killing that guy, the tour would be delayed by at least a few weeks.

He takes a few steps forward, still running through the events that just transpired. 

The guy was a tool, obviously. A woman initiating sex with you doesn’t mean she wants to suck your dick, dude, Jolly thinks to himself. He didn’t seem like the type to reciprocate, anyway, and you probably knew that. 

A quick look around confirms that Jolly is alone in the hallway. His eyes land on the metal numbers emblazoned on the door to his right.

Your room. 

What an idiot. Imagine getting the opportunity to make a woman like you cum and wasting it. 

In a perfect world, Jolly would set up camp between your legs and only come up for air every three to five business days. 

That guy is a dumbass.

Jolly is still staring at your door. 

He should go to bed. He’s tired, not thinking clearly.

He wonders if you’re wet, writhing on your sheets as you handle things yourself.

The thought makes his mouth go dry. 

He thinks of you fucking yourself on your own fingers, too small, too soft to give you what you need.

His hand knocks on the door before his brain can stop him.

There’s a moment of silence. Then he can hear your voice, muffled but getting louder as you come closer to the door.

“Do you seriously not know how to fuck off the first time you’re told- oh.” Your voice is venom until you realize who is standing at your door. “Hi Jolly. Sorry about that, I thought you were someone else.” 

You’re standing in a band t-shirt and the tiniest pair of underwear Jolly has ever seen. The shirt kisses the tops of your thighs, and he realizes belatedly that it’s his band’s shirt. You’re standing before him in a Bad Omens shirt and your underwear and he’s supposed to resist the urge to sink to his knees and beg for just a taste of your pussy. 

Jolly takes a single breath before the words come tumbling out. “Yeah, that guy is stupid. Like, so fucking stupid. Because who the fuck wouldn’t want to make you cum? That rando was lucky just to get to be around you, and the fact that he wasted it is driving me crazy and I- I would never fumble like that. I-”

“Jolly, what are you saying?” Your eyes are sharp, suspicious. You cross your arms over your chest, and he can see the distinct curve of your nipples through your shirt. 

“Let me make you cum.” Jolly blurts. He likes to think it didn’t sound desperate at all, but that would be a lie. 

Your eyes go wide, lips parting slightly. It’s clear he’s shocked you enough to render you speechless; He’s mentally preparing himself for the inevitable rejection, maybe even a slap across his face for just implying-

“Okay.” Your tone is even, decided. 

Jolly’s derailing train of thought flies completely off the metaphorical cliffside tracks in his head, because it sounds like you just told him yes. 

He doesn’t have time to try and gather his thoughts, because you turn around to walk back into the room, and any thought he’s ever had disappears in favor of storing the mental image of your ass in every crevice of his brain forever. 

Before he can consider the implications of his decisions, he’s following you into your room. 

The space is illuminated by a single lamp by the bed, the covers barely disturbed where they lie on the mattress. Jolly lets out a sigh of relief at the sight. The bed was entirely too tidy for you to have done much with that other idiot. He’s never believed in the term “sloppy seconds,” but the idea of that man touching you at all makes his skin crawl. 

You flop onto the bed with the air of someone who knows they’re sexy from every angle- and rightfully so, Jolly reckons. Elbows propped up beneath you, thighs pooling around the most pathetic excuse for underwear Jolly’s ever seen, body seemingly relaxed as you regard him. 

“Well, then. Let’s see your big moves, hotshot.” You cock an eyebrow at him for added effect. Jolly knows you’re mocking him, has enough of a grasp on the English language to understand he’s being taunted. 

But you’re also not the first woman he’s slept with. He can see the telltale signs of arousal in your body- the way your thighs are clenched together, the goosebumps that tell him exactly how sensitive your skin feels right now, nipples still pert through your t-shirt. 

He steps closer, until his hands are just barely able to brush against your calf. You barely flinch at the touch- but the movement doesn’t go unnoticed. 

“Poor thing.” Jolly coos, fingers trailing up your leg at a snail’s pace. “Just wanted to cum, right? Went out of your way to find someone to handle the job, only to be met with disappointment.”

Your breath staggers, but you quickly cover it up with a snarky retort. “Most men are disappointing in bed. He’s not the first person I’ve kicked out of my room.” You flash him a smile that’s all teeth and malice. “If all you’re going to do is pet my leg, he won’t be the last, either.” 

You’re on the defensive now. Jolly liked to imagine you’d be feisty, but seeing you in action has his cock already aching in his jeans. 

It stirs up the youthful urge to break things just to see what they look like shattered. Jolly wanders what you’d look like, broken and fucked-out and begging. 

Your words spur him on, urging him to keep pushing. 

“I think that’s the problem. You’re trying to fuck boys who think seeing a cock will get you wet enough to take one.” Jolly tsks disapprovingly. He’s reached the apex of your thighs now, mere centimeters away from your pantyline. He can feel the tremble in your legs through his fingertips, and makes a mental note to sink his teeth into your thighs at some point. 

“What you need is a man to give your sad little cunt what it deserves.” Jolly finishes as his hands grip at the meat of your inner thigh, pulling apart your legs with little resistance. 

You go rigid, body tense as you await his next move. He can see how much your pupils have dilated, eyes blown black with expectation and want. You’re panting slightly, lips parted.

It’s every dream he’s ever had come true, having you like this, open and wanting before him. Anticipating his touch, waiting to see what he’ll do to you next.

He can see your stomach tense and release as he slips his fingers under the flimsy waistband of your underwear, running a single digit along your folds. They’re like fucking velvet against his finger, fluttering and clenching around nothing. Your eyes slip closed silently, and that just won’t do for Jolly. 

Lifting his free hand, he reaches around to grab your jaw firmly. “Look at me. I’m being so nice and helping you cum, the least you can do is look me in the eyes, honey.” 

Your eyes open to stare into his, as he slides his finger into your hole- slowly, as if to make you feel every millimeter of it entering you. 

Your mouth parts in a gasp as you clench down on his finger. A smile twitches on Jolly’s mouth, pleased with his findings. 

“How rude of him, to leave your pretty pussy all wet and empty like this.” Jolly’s face is inches from yours, jaw still grasped in his hands. “You really should have just come to me, you know. I’ve dreamt about what your needy little cunt tastes like. I would never leave you wanting like that.” 

“Please.” Your voice is barely a whisper. Back arching towards him, like you want him on such a primal level that your brain doesn’t even register the movement. 

Jolly figures he’s probably dead, and this is what his lifetime of good deeds and paying taxes has landed him. 

But he can feel how wet your hole is around his finger, can feel how your pussy clenches like it’s trying to suck him in deeper. 

He withdraws his hands from you completely, relishing in the needy whine you let out at the absence of his touch. Your self pity is short lived, though, as he lowers himself to his knees next to the bed. His hands contrast starkly with your unmarred skin, tattoos dark on his fingers as he grabs you by your hips and yanks you toward him. 

You gasp in surprise, but quickly catch on as you raise your hips for him to slide your panties off. Jolly wastes no time stuffing the scrap of lace into his pocket, before sliding his hand between your thighs so he can see you fully.

He fights the urge to sigh, because of course your pussy is as pretty as you are. It glistens at him in the low light, pink and inviting. Running his pointer finger from your clit to your hole, Jolly can’t imagine passing up on an opportunity like this in favor of something as fleeting as a blowjob. Your thighs tremble, but remain open obediently for him. 

He’s unable to resist sinking two fingers into you, your hole to wet and taunting to allow him to leave it empty. You groan gutturally, canting your hips to drive him deeper. 

“What were you doing before I knocked on your door?” Jolly asks quietly, already knowing your answer.

“I- I was trying to get off. Wasn’t working.” You admit, breaths coming raggedly. 

Jolly hums, curling his fingers inside you. The noise you make is profane- Jolly wants to put it on a playlist and listen to it for the rest of his life. “I thought about that. About you trying to fuck yourself on your little fingers. It wasn’t enough, right? Not long enough, not thick enough-“

“Jolly.” You interrupt, still grinding helplessly onto his fingers. He can tell just how bad you need it, the release, the stretch. 

“I know, honey. I got you.” The reassurance is the only warning you get before his mouth attaches to your clit, tongue swirling around the sensitive bundle in such a way that has your back snapping off the bed. Your hands tangle in his hair instinctively, a sob passing your lips as you try to pull him deeper and push him away simultaneously. 

He’s not afraid of being messy, tongue tracing your inner folds, saliva and cum  pooling around his fingers. You’re wet enough that the squelch of his fingers fucking you is loud in the otherwise silent room. 

Jolly groans directly into your cunt, like the taste of you is enough to make him cum alone. His free arm comes up to lay across your hips firmly, locking you into place so all you can do is take and feel what he gives you. 

Jolly doesn’t need to ask if you’re close- he can feel the way you clench around his fingers, can taste the way you begin shaking in anticipation. 

“C’mon baby, give it to me.” He coaxes against your clit, the vibrations of his voice finally sending you over the edge. 

Jolly has the sense to look up when you cum, wanting to memorize the way you cry and whine for him as you come undone. 

Which might be a mistake, because your eyes lock, and Jolly is pretty sure that if you ever look at anyone else when you cum, he’ll have to kill them. 

It only encourages him to continue curling his digits inside you, fucking you through the convulsions of coming. 

Jolly, I- I came- I came.” You sputter, hips wiggling uselessly against where his forearm has them pinned down. 

“I know.” Jolly reassures you. “That was for the last guy who couldn’t do it right. This next one’s all mine.”

Your eyes widen as he reattaches his mouth to your oversensitive clit, sucking hard. You gargle out a sound loud enough to wake the dead as you collapse back onto the bed helplessly, legs quivering against Jolly’s jaw. 

Jolly basks in the animalistic noises you release under his mouth, commits them to memory. It’s what he’s dreamt of since the first time he saw you- Having you open before him, giving you what you need, even when you think you can’t take anymore.

You let out a choked sob, and Jolly isn’t cruel, so he unpins your hips from the bed, hand coming up to wrap around your thigh tenderly. 

“Ride my face, älskling, c’mon.” He pulls back enough to murmur into your skin.

You follow the directive, hands snaking back into his hair to grind against his face in earnest. The whimpers you let out are pathetic, and will get Jolly through the lonely nights he faces when he’s back home and tour is over. 

“Please, it’s too much, it’s too much-” You babble almost incoherently as your hips pick up speed where they cant into his mouth. 

Your hands suddenly pull harder at his hair, yanking him up to your face. His fingers fuck you through your second orgasm, lips connecting with yours in a searing kiss that tastes like sex and cum and want. 

Your body convulses against him until he slips his fingers out of you, hands rubbing against the skin of your waist soothingly. Your hands wrap around the back of his neck, gripping tightly. Whether you were afraid you’d fall, or afraid he’d leave, Jolly didn’t know. He was certain, though, that he’d stay right here until you told him to go. 

“Twenty minutes.” You breathe out after a few moments. “You’re going to fuck me, but I need twenty minutes.” 

Jolly can’t stop his grin, face inches from yours. “You need food, but I’ll allow twenty minutes on top of that.” 

“I ate last week, you’re not allowed to leave.” You dismiss. Jolly’s heart swells in his chest, stopping somewhere around his throat. 

He was right, though. He knew how you were- always busy, always running around. You probably hadn’t had food since breakfast, and he could hardly fuck you with your stomach empty. 

“There’s an In-n-Out in the parking lot next to us. I’ll get you a cheeseburger with animal style fries, and then I’ll fuck you if you ask really, really sweetly.” Jolly can’t help the teasing tone his voice takes. 

You roll your eyes. “Sure, I’ll ‘sweetly’ ask the guy who knocked on my door, begging to make me cum, if he’d be willing to fuck me, too.” 

It’s almost too good to be true; You, sharp as ever, casually dropping the topic of him fucking you, not as a joke, but as a promise.

Jolly reluctantly leaves after you whine enough about getting a milkshake, too (There was little whining, Jolly would steal the entire milkshake machine if that’s what you wanted.) He’s scanning the card to get back into your room when a gasp stops him in the hallway. 

Because of course, there’s Noah, wide-eyed, phone already in his hand, a text about you and Jolly probably already drafted out. 

You were no fashion police, but at one glance, you knew it was a disaster.

With a grin so blindingly wide, your 6’3 heavily tattooed husband stood in front of you, proudly showing his revolutionary pattern-on-pattern ensemble. Noah’s big hands rested on his hips as he twirled like a princess— a princess who looked like a hobo dressed in a striped long-sleeve shirt paired with black metal band shorts with a totally unreadable print and, of course, his favorite grimy slip-ons.

“Pretty cool, huh?” He asked, voice so smug as if he had just made a fashion breakthrough.

You only shook your head in response, groaning as you rubbed your forehead. You had been with Noah for 12 years now, yet you still had not gotten used to his sudden bursts of cringe-worthy antics now and then.

“That Austin kid is gonna stay away from my baby girl after today,” he added, showing his overprotective girl-dad self once again.

You had just finished lunch at home, and Noah was preparing to run some errands for you and pick up your daughter from school along the way.

It was supposed to be your turn to accomplish those, but your husband insisted on doing them instead after your 10-year-old had gushed about this ‘cute boy with hazel eyes’ in her class over dinner last night. Apparently, the said boy— Austin— had told her she was pretty, which made Noah stop mid-bite, his brows raising in both curiosity and disapproval.

“Noah, you’re just gonna embarrass her!” And me, you wanted to add.

He was already making heads turn at the school with his head-to-toe ink; you didn’t wanna know how the other parents would react to this abomination of an outfit.

But maybe you were just thinking about it too much.

“Babe, that’s the point,” he snickered. “No sane boy would ever want to go near my little girl again if her father looks this cool.”

You couldn’t help but snort. Nothing about him at the time was close to cool. If anything, he looked like a dork.

Your kind of dork.

He continued, “I’d do this over and over again until she’s 18.”

“She’s gonna hate you so much,” you said between giggles before pulling his head down to peck his lips before combing your fingers through his growing hair.

“Nah, she’s 10, I can just buy her forgiveness with a brand-new iPad.”

You swatted his chest. “Stop spoiling your daughter!”

“Baby, let me enjoy this while I still can,” he countered, smirking as he placed a kiss against your head, his arms tightly wrapped around your shoulders. 

Huffing, he continued to whine. “It seemed like yesterday when I was building her unicorn castle in the backyard... she was squealing, running away from daddy tickles... Now, she’s telling us a boy likes her? And she likes it? What’s next? She’s gonna go on a date? She gonna marry this Justin kid?"

“Austin,” you corrected, trying to hold back a laugh.

He groaned, resting his chin on the crown of your head. “Before we know it, my princess is gonna be off to college, and I have no one left to spoil rotten.”

You chuckled against his chest, your hands gently rubbing his back like you’re soothing a baby.

An overdramatic baby.

As Noah quieted down, you looked up at his pouting face. A smirk tugged at your lips as an idea popped into your mind.

Just to appease your whining husband, and perhaps, save you and your daughter from the humiliation today.

“Baby, how about you lose these ugly clothes…” You paused, letting your hand rest against the small of his back. Biting your lip, you playfully batted your lashes at him before dropping what could be the best thing your husband had heard all day.

Or perhaps, all year. 

“…And I give you another one to spoil then?”

###

Noah stood still for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you impossibly closer. You could feel his whole body relax as he melted into the embrace. He lifted a hand to cradle the back of your head, tucking your head under his chin. You simply stood there, your fingers clutching the fabric of his hoodie as he nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, rubbing small circles on your back. 

And that was when the floodgates opened. Large, hot tears started to stream down your face and onto the fabric of his hoodie. Noah didn’t notice until he felt your shoulders starting to shake. He tried to lean backwards a little to look at your face, but you buried it deeper into his chest. 

“Woah - baby? Are you crying? What happened?” 

You just clung tighter to him. 

“Is everyone alright? Is your family okay?”

You hiccuped a little. “I just missed you.” 

“Oh sweetheart… You flew all the way here because you missed me?” 

You nodded. 

Noah carefully pried your hands from his where they were tangled in his hoodie. He took half a step back, taking your face in both of his hands. 

“Let me look at you.” 

You finally glanced up to meet his gaze. His eyes softened as they met your watery ones. 

“Oh my sweet angel…” He rubbed his thumbs over your cheeks, wiping your tears away. 

“C’mere,” he whispered as he pulled you back in. 

A few moments later you were sitting cross-legged on the end of Noah's bed while he unpacked your bag as though it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“How long are you staying?” 

“Until after the show, I think.”

“I feel like four hoodies is a bit excessive, no?” 

You frowned at him. “I packed three?” 

Noah shook his head and started to pull hoodies out of your bag. 

“One… Two… Three…” He pointed at the hoodie that he was wearing. “Four!” 

You snorted and threw the nearest pillow you could find at him. 

“Hey!” He threw the pillow back at you. “Here I am, being a nice boyfriend and unpacking for you and you assault me with a pillow?” 

“Dork,” you muttered under your breath. 

“Oh really?” Noah's eyes narrowed playfully.

You lifted an eyebrow. “What?”

A slow grin spread across his face.

“Oh, it's so on.”

Before you even had time to react, he lunged at you.

“Noah!”

You barely managed to squeal before he tackled you backwards onto the bed, the mattress bouncing beneath the two of you.

“You started this,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I did not!”

“You absolutely did.”

His fingers found your sides. He knew exactly where you were ticklish. You twisted beneath him, trying to squirm away, but every attempt only made him laugh harder. His fingertips danced over your ribs before slipping to your waist, drawing another helpless shriek from you.

“No- No! Noah!”

“You surrender yet?”

You tried pushing him away to no avail, he was so much stronger than you. You planted both hands against his chest and pushed with all your strength. He didn't budge.

“Never!”

“That was the wrong answer.”

He attacked again, relentless.

Laughter echoed through the hotel room as you twisted beneath him, trying desperately to grab his wrists. It was hopeless. You couldn't even catch your breath anymore. Tears stung the corners of your eyes, your stomach already beginning to ache from laughing so hard.

“Noah-” you wheezed between laughs. “Please! Mercy!”

“That's not surrender.”

“I hate you!”

He gasped dramatically.

“That hurts."

“I love you! Mercy! Mercy!”

His hands froze immediately.

A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Better.”

Only then he leaned in to steal a kiss before finally letting you breathe. You laid back, both hands clutching your stomach. You took a few deep breaths to stifle your giggles. You turned your head sideways to look at him only to discover that he was already looking at you. 

“I’m so happy you came. I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered.

You smiled. 

“So have I,” you said. And you meant it. You just wished those were the only words you needed to say. 

Noah suddenly jawned, his eyes drooping a little. 

“Tired?” 

He didn’t answer. Instead he simply pulled his phone out from his pocket, set an alarm and pulled you closer to him. Oh how you had missed the feeling of his tall frame surrounding you. You let out a content little sigh and leaned back into him. One of his large hands found its way to your stomach, fingers splaying over your soft skin under your shirt. You went perfectly still. Your heart stuttered. It was such a small gesture, something he usually did - but this time it carried a much heavier meaning. 

Noah fell asleep within minutes. You turned around in his arms so that you could look at him. For a while you simply observed him. How his hair had gotten long enough to fall down in front of his eyes when he slept. For a moment you wondered if he was planning to grow it out or not. You smiled to yourself, remembering the boy you fell in love with seven years ago. His hair had been longer than yours, his cheeks rounder than they were now. The man in front of you looked more chiseled in every way. But he still had the same smile, the skin around his eyes still crinkled in the same way when he laughed. And above all, he still made you feel the same way as he did back then. 

“You’re gonna be such a good dad,” you whispered, barely audible. 

You hadn’t even noticed that you were falling asleep. The familiar sound of Noah's alarm woke you. He reached out without opening his eyes, tapping the bed with his hand to find his phone. His eyes shot open when his hand landed on you. 

“Oh my god. I forgot you were here!” 

“Rude,” you mumbled. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He reached for you, pulling you on top of him. He smiled up at you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His lips met yours in a tender kiss. Your heart swelled. You should tell him. Now.

You were just about to open your mouth, but Noah was faster. 

“Coffee?” 

Outside of the hotel you pulled your jacket a closer around you, shivering a little. 

“Cold?” 

“A little.” 

“Want my hoodie?” 

“Noah. You’re not even wearing a jacket.” 

He looked down at his own body. 

“Yeah. I know. But still.” 

You rolled your eyes at him. "Absolutely not. I’ll warm up as we walk.” 

Noah shrugged before reaching for your hand. Your fingers intertwined with his as you started walking. 

“Are you not supposed to be at work? I just realised,” he asked, glancing down at you. 

“I called in sick,” you shrugged. 

He stopped in his tracks. 

“Y/N.” 

“That’s me.” 

“You called in sick to work because you missed me?” he frowned. 

“...Yeah,” you answered hesitantly. Because that was not the whole truth, was it? You started walking again, pulling him with you. You didn’t want to give him the chance to study your expression for too long. 

“What if your boss finds out?” 

“You’re gonna tell her? Gonna snitch on me?” you joked, elbowing him slightly in the ribs. 

He let out a bark of a laugh. 

“Yeah, obviously. Gonna get you fired so you can come on tour with me instead.” 

You rolled your eyes. His tone of voice was sarcastic, but you knew that there was some truth to it. The band had gotten big enough that your income didn’t make that much difference, and Noah had suggested that you could always quit. He’d even suggested that the band could employ you in one way or the other. You thought that it was sweet in a way, that he wanted to spend every day with you, but you also thought that you’d lose your mind if you didn’t have anything of your own. 

The two of you crossed the street together. Once you reached the opposite sidewalk, you found yourself walking closest to the road. A second later, Noah casually guided you to the other side of him, taking your place nearest the traffic. 

“What?”

“You were on the traffic side.”

“So?”

“So now you're not.”

Five minutes later, the familiar green Starbucks sign came into view.

“You're buying,” Noah declared.

“I flew across the country to see you!”

“Exactly. You clearly have money.”

You just huffed and shoved him inside. Your nostrils filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods. You felt yourself almost sniff the air, which made Noah grin and shake his head at you. 

Noah went up to the counter. “Two large americanos please. And one of those cookies.” He pointed towards the cookie display. 

“Actually, could I get mine decaf?” you interjected. 

Noah looked at you, brows furrowed. 

“Decaf?” 

“Yeah… I- I’ve been cutting down on caffeine.” 

“Since when?” 

“Since recently.” 

“...Who are you?” 

You rolled your eyes. Noah turned back to the barista. 

“Okay, one normal and one decaf then, please.” 

Once outside Noah pulled the chocolate chip cookie out of the bag. He split it in two, one half clearly larger than the other. He handed you the larger piece without hesitation. 

The two of you wandered through the streets of Chicago with paper cups warming your hands. Noah filled the afternoon with stories from the tour. A guitar case that had almost been left behind at a gas station. Jolly accidentally walking onto the wrong side of the stage. Nick getting his sandwich stolen by Noah halfway through lunch and refusing to let it go for the rest of the day, five days in a row. 

"Apparently, I have a new nickname.” 

”Oh?”

”They call me the seagull.” 

”…Why?” 

”Nick claims I’ve stolen his food.”

”Noah, you just admitted to me that you have been stealing his food.” 

He shrugged. ”Well… I mean, yeah I have… but I feel like that’s beside the point!”

You laughed until your cheeks hurt.

For a little while, it almost felt like life had paused. There was no countdown. No secret weighing heavily in your chest. It was just you, Noah, and the city stretching out around you. Every now and then he’d bump his shoulder against you, smiling to himself as if though he couldn’t believe you were actually there. 

You couldn't remember the last time you'd seen him this relaxed.

He stopped suddenly, pointing at a large building in front of you. 

“That’s the one,” he chirped. 

It looked massive. 

“That's the arena?!” 

He tilted his head sideways, looking down at you. 

“Yeah. Today it’s empty… On Saturday, hopefully not.” 

“Noah, it’s sold out. It’s not gonna be empty,” you stated. 

He shrugged. 

“How many tickets sold?” you asked. 

A shy smile spread across his face. 

“Ten thousand.” 

“Woah.” 

You looked up at him, watching him taking it in. In your mind, he was still the guy playing in front of a few hundred people. He put one arm around your shoulder, tucking you into his side. 

“Crazy, isn’t it? That they’re all coming to see us?”

“I’m so proud of you.” 

“Even after all these years?” 

“Especially after all these years.” 

You stood there for a few seconds. This was as good of a time as any. You closed your eyes for a split second. 

You opened your mouth to speak but stopped as you noticed a group of girls a few feet away. They looked at the pair of you hesitantly. One of them whispered something to another. You could recognise that look from miles away. You gave them an encouraging smile. 

One of them took a cautious step forward.  

“Hi... I'm so sorry to bother you.”

Noah smiled immediately.

“You're not bothering me.”

“We just... we were wondering if it'd be okay to get a quick picture?”

“Of course.”

He glanced at you apologetically before stepping over to them.

You couldn't help but smile as you watched him chat with them for a minute, thanking them for coming to the shows before posing for a couple of photos. He never seemed in a rush. Even after they'd thanked him about six times, he was still the one wishing them a good day as they walked away.

He reached for your hand as the group of girls went the other way, giggling amongst themselves. Walking side by side you looked up at him. 

“Noah, there’s something I…” 

Noah’s stomach let out an unmistakable growl. 

“...Was that?” 

“Yeah. I'm starving." 

“You just had half a cookie.” 

“I should've gotten two.”

You threw your head back, laughing. If there was something Noah could do it was definitely eat. It seemed like he was always hungry. But to be fair, he was a very large man. 

“We’ll have dinner in a few hours, yeah?” 

“Oh yeah!” Noah started, “I forgot to tell you! We were planning on a big band and crew dinner tonight. But since you’re here I could-” 

“No, no. That sounds great actually. I’ve missed the guys too.”

“More than me?” 

"Definitely," you grinned. That earned you a light shove in the shoulders. 

“Is there like a mall or something nearby? I didn’t bring big dinner-clothes.” 

Now it was Noah's turn to roll his eyes. “Baby, you’d look amazing in a garbage bag.” 

Two hours later you found yourself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, smoothing your hands over your new dress for what had to be the seventh time. You knew that this night was the night you had to tell him. You wanted it to be perfect. 

The door opened behind you. 

”Ready?”

You turned around.

Noah had already changed into a black button-up, sleeves rolled to his forearms. His hair was still slightly messy from the afternoon nap he’d taken as you’d gotten ready.

He looked you up and down.

”Wow…” he said, closing the distance between you. 

Noah’s hand brushed against your side and came to a halt on your hip, the other settled in the small of your back. He pulled you into him, looking down at you with a certain glint in his eyes. 

”We’re gonna be late,” he stated. 

”No we’re not,” you replied. He looked slightly disappointed. 

The restaurant buzzed with the familiar hum of conversations and clinking cutlery. Warm pendant lights hung low from the ceiling, casting a soft amber glow over dark wooden tables. The smell of grilled food, garlic and fresh bread filled the air as waiters weaved effortlessly between the crowded tables.

A long table had been pushed together near the back of the restaurant.The rest of the band and a few crew members were already there. Jolly spotted you first. 

”Y/N!!!” he called, standing up from his seat. ”I heard you were in town!” 

He pulled you into a bone crushing hug. 

”Well,” you said trying to catch your breath, ”I just missed you too much Jolly.”

”Ahh, very understandable. Who wouldn't?"

You felt a hand on your shoulder. Bryan gave you a squeeze. ”I’m so happy you’re here,” he said. ”This one,” he pointed at Noah, ”has been a mess since last week.” 

”Oh shut up,” Noah groaned. 

You sat down between Jolly and Noah. Nick was on the opposite side of the table, observing you. He could see the way you stiffened when a waiter came to take everyone’s orders. Noah leaned into you, asking if you wanted a glass of wine. You declined, blaming a headache. Noah just nodded and ordered you a soda without paying it too much attention, but not without adding that you should drink some water too. Nick however noticed the way your eyes darted from Noah, to the candle on the table, to the untouched glass of water in front of you.

After the food was ordered the conversation bounced effortlessly around the table.

Jolly was in the middle of telling some ridiculous story about getting lost backstage in Germany on the last European tour.

“…I’m telling you, it wasn’t our stage.”

“It literally had our backdrop on it,” Folio deadpanned.

“No, that was afterwards.”

“It was before.”

“It was… somewhere in the middle.”

Laughter erupted around the table.

You barely managed to follow the conversation before it had already moved on to something else.

”So…” you said, taking a sip of your soda. ”I’ve heard that my boyfriend has earned a new nickname.” 

”Oh he’s been awful!” Jolly exclaimed. 

”New levels of shit housery, even for him,” added Davis. 

”Hey!” Noah cut in. 

”At lunch today he stole half my sandwich,” said Nick.

“The day before that, my fries,” Folio chimed in.

“This morning he took a bite of my bagel while maintaining eye contact,” Nick added. 

Noah shrugged. 

”You make it sound like I’m the problem.” 

Nick raised an eyebrow. ”You ARE the problem, man.” 

Noah shook his head, unable to hide the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

As if on cue, a waiter appeared with a tray full of steaming plates, setting them down one by one in front of everyone.

Noah shot Nick's fries a look. 

”…Don’t.”

”Wasn’t gonna.” 

Nick gave Noah an unimpressed look, moving his plate closer to himself. 

You couldn’t help but giggle. 

”Does he actually do this a lot?” 

”YES!” Everyone answered as one. 

Noah turned towards you, gave an exaggerated shrug and grinned at you like a little kid who’d just gotten away with something.

As dinner went on, the conversations around the table naturally splintered into smaller ones. Jolly was still defending his German mishap, while Bryan and a few other crew members debated the best burger they’ve had on tour. 

Beside you, Noah had absentmindedly rested his hand on your thigh. Every now and then he traced small circles with his thumb through the fabric of your dress, as if to remind himself that you were really there. 

Across the table, Nick watched this friend for a moment. Noah looked relaxed, happy. Noah was deep in conversation with the others, laughing at something Folio had said. Yet somehow, he never stopped facing you. His body remained angled towards yours. He looked completely at ease. Not like someone that had just been told something that would change the rest of his life. Nick focused his attention on you. You were smiling too, but the smile didn't quite reach your eyes. He also noticed that you were mostly moving food around your plate. 

Nick caught your eye, tilting his head slightly and raising an eyebrow. Well? You looked down at your plate, giving him the smallest shake of your head. He closed his eyes for a brief second before exhaling quietly through his nose.

When dinner had drawn to a close, Noah told you that he just needed to use the bathroom. Nick seized the opportunity, putting his arm around your shoulders. 

”Walk with me for a second, darling.” 

He guided you out of the restaurant, stopping a few feet from the entrance. For a moment, the two of you just stood there. He searched your face, you looked at everything but at him. 

”You didn’t tell him.” 

You shook your head, biting the inside of your cheek. 

”…What happened?”

Closing your eyes for a second, you exhaled deeply. 

”I just… I couldn’t do it.” You scuffed the toe of your shoe against the pavement. ”I tried. But every time I was about to tell him, something happened. Something interrupted.”

Nick placed both hands on your shoulders, giving them a light squeeze. 

”You’re looking for the perfect moment, Y/N.” 

You nodded.

”There isn’t one.” 

There was a moment of silence before Nick spoke again. 

”You’re not protecting him. You’re protecting yourself.” 

You lifted your gaze to hesitantly meet his. His expression was gentle, but there was an unmistakable determination behind it. He wasn’t judging you. He was trying to help you. You knew he was right.

”And I get it. I’d be terrified too.” Another squeeze around your shoulders. ”But he deserves to know.” 

You tilted your head back, blinking rapidly in an attempt to keep your tears from falling. 

”Look at him,” Nick continued. 

You glanced through the window. Noah had just returned from the restroom and was joking around with the others, Ricky caught in a loose headlock while everyone laughed. Somehow, even in the middle of it all, his gaze instinctively wandered until it found you. The second he found you, his grin widened. 

”He’ll be okay.” 

”How do you know?” 

You looked through the window once more, Noah caught your eye again. He tilted his head slightly, silently asking if everything was okay. You forced a smile. 

”Because it’s him. It’s Noah.”

You moved your head in the slightest nod. Nick once again put his arm around your shoulders. 

”Come on, mom. Let’s go.” 

”I’ve told you to stop calling me that!”

The hotel room felt unusually quiet after the evening at the restaurant. You could hear your own heartbeat pounding in your ears. The sound felt intrusive, unwelcome. 

”I can’t believe Nick is still mad about the sandwiches,” Noah said, toothbrush in one hand. 

”I mean,” he continued, ”we’re supposed to be brothers!” 

Silence. 

”Y/N? Angel?” 

”Hm?” you busied yourself with paying even more attention to the makeup remover in your hand. 

”You okay?”

”Yeah.” You weren’t. 

He leaned against the sink, arms crossed over his chest. 

”You’re doing that thing.”

”What thing?” 

”Where you say you’re okay even though you’re obviously not.” 

”Oh.” You rubbed your eyes more intensely with the wipe. ”I’m just tired honey. Promise.” 

He looked at you for a moment. 

”Alright,” he said. ”I just… you know you can talk to me, right?” 

”Mhm.” 

Noah studied you for another moment before giving in with a quiet nod, not pushing any further.

No matter how tightly you closed your eyes, sleep refused to come. You needed to tell him. You cursed yourself for not getting to it. For having climbed into bed and curled up next to him without telling him.

”Alright,” came Noah’s voice beside you. 

He sat up, reaching for the light on his bedstand. You heard a quiet click before the room illuminated with an amber glow. 

”I give up,” he said. ”I can practically hear your brain frying. Whatever’s going on in there must be very loud.” 

Slowly, you lifted your gaze to meet his. For a heartbeat, you simply looked at him. Really looked at him.

His brows knit together ever so slightly. There was something in your expression he’d never seen before. You looked frozen. His stomach tightened. You looked terrified. Not anxious, not upset.Terrified.

Like a deer caught in headlights.

“Angel…?”

Your lips parted, but no words came. Your eyes filled so quickly with tears that it almost startled him.

Then, all at once, you broke.

A sob tore through your chest as you threw yourself into his arms so hard it knocked the breath out of his lungs. He closed his arms around you, pulling you into his lap. 

Your whole body trembled with violent sobs. You cried like he’d never seen you cry before. Noah felt so helpless. All he knew to do was hold you closer, rubbing your back and rocking you gently back and forth. He didn’t shush you, didn’t ask any questions. He just held you, continuously swaying and pressing kisses to your hair. 

After a while, your sobs gradually became quieter, giving way to shaky breathing and the occasional hiccup. Your body stopped shaking so violently. And still, Noah just held you. 

”Angel…” 

”Look at me.” 

You shook your head. His hold of you loosened, his arms snaking between you. He cupped your face with both hands, forcing you to glance up at him. He searched your face, his own stricken by the sight of you. You’d never seen him look so helpless. Not because you were crying, but because he couldn’t reach you. Because whatever was hurting you, you were carrying it alone. Because you would not let him in. 

“It’s me,” he whispered.

Those two words, paired with the look in his eyes, broke through something inside you. You took a shaky breath and closed your eyes for just a second. When you opened them again, you met his gaze.

For the first time all evening, you didn’t look away.

”Noah… I’m pregnant.”

---

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