"Dead Again!," Part 7! Superman's tour of all the people who hate him continues as he goes to Apokolips to check on Darkseid... and, while at it, the Cyborg Superman, who's currently trapped inside a Pokéball there. Using a Boom Tube provided by the nice space gods of New Genesis (see last issue), Superman drops into Apokolips right into the middle of a massive crowd scene. Uh-oh!
(That "uh-oh" was for artist Barry Kitson. I hope he likes drawing mean space gods.)
All Superman wants to do is have a chat with Darkseid, but Granny Goodness' forces are most uncooperative. On top of the 200 shock troopers and parademons trying to kill him, Superman has to deal with the Female Furies and their confounding double entendres. One of them manages to bring Superman down to the edge of the Armagetto, where he's recognized by the resident Hunger Dogs as the guy who almost freed them (and got a bunch of them killed) years ago, during the Legends storyline.
Meanwhile, Darkseid watches this from his palace and instructs his beret-wearing personal assassin, Kanto, to "get to work" on Superman. (Why does a space god who can evaporate people with his eyes need a personal assassin? This is not for mere mortals to know.) Kanto waits until Superman is at the edge of Apokolips' famous fire pits to launch a sonic attack that sends all the Hunger Dogs rushing towards him for help, the idea being that they'll fall into the fire and this will murder Superman... 's soul. Darkseid was probably like, "I really should have been more specific."
Superman prevents the Dogs from getting roasted and heads to Castle Darkseid, where Kanto reveals himself as the mastermind behind that evil plan. Superman, however, is no mood to deal with a guy in a beret right now.
(Kanto will survive. RIP the beret, though.)
Alone with Darkseid at last, Superman accuses him of being the one who put that Superman corpse in his tomb, thus making him responsible for this entire storyline. Darkseid points out it couldn't possibly be him, because he still owes Superman for saving his life (during Superman/Doomsday: Hunter/Prey) and Darkseid is an evil space god of his word. He claims that the Cyborg, who was last seen getting Omega Beam'd by Darkseid (also during Hunter/Prey), ain't the one either, although "his death might not be as final as it seems." What?! Resurrection?? In a superhero comic??? Is that legal?
At this point, Superman is more pissed off than he's ever been, and even breaks one of Darkseid's fancy tables during a tantrum. Darkseid replies with this curious choice of words:
This does nothing to lighten Superman's mood, and he says (yells) that it's "time I shut this godforsaken planet down forever!" Instead, Darkseid shuts him down with the Omega Beams, and Superman finds himself back on Earth. However, Darkseid's cryptic mention of of a "carnival sideshow" has convinced Superman that he finally knows the identity of his tormentor, for real this time. See, carnivals are fun, and who's the funnest Superman villain of all?
Yes, the handsome Mr. Mxyzptlk! TO BE CONTINUED! OR CONCLUDED, POSSIBLY!
Plotline-Watch:
With the "carnival sideshow" clue above, Darkseid considers his debt with Superman paid, and gives us a little tease of his plans for the Cyborg... but that's a whole other storyline.
Don Sparrow says: "Nice that the Hunger Dogs that Superman betrayed as 'Savior' back in the day aren't holding a grudge." Yeah, so they remember Superman "almost freeing" them during the Legends storyline, but they don't remember him selling them out to Darkseid while he was under Amazing Grace's control? Then again, I guess all the ones who would remember that are dead.
It's unclear how much Superman himself remembers; Orion erased his memory of that whole incident at the end of that storyline to spare him the "I accidentally helped commit genocide" trauma, but Superman doesn't seem surprised to hear that the Hunger Dogs remember him as a savior. Maybe he got his memories back at the end of "Day of the Krypton Man," after finally solving his split personality issues (which, in my headcanon, are connected to the suppressed memories)?
This issue contains no references to the Apokolips-related Guardians of Metropolis miniseries that was coming out at this time (also written by Karl Kesel), but it's interesting to see Female Fury Gilotina get the spotlight for a whole page. She'll end up playing a big role in that mini and it works better if you know her as a Fury (I sure didn't before this issue, even though she goes back to Jack Kirby's original Fourth World comics).
Shout Outs-Watch:
Three posts in a month! (If you count the revamped Action #585 post.) This miracle is brought to you by our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris "Ace" Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Blosser, and Bryan! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode! Both of those also have free tiers, if you just wanna get posts like this one in your inbox. NOTE: If you subscribe, please check your junk mail for the activation email!
This prolific pace is also spurred by Don Sparrow, who's perpetually ahead of me on these write ups. Here's the latest one:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
Pretty good cover on this one as the angular, minimalist blocks on Superman look electric and painful. It’s also the first time I can remember the connection between Darkseid and the dark side of the force (as a Star Wars reference) being made. It’s also a fairly accurate cover for the story, as the scene and all the characters on the cover more or less appear as depicted. [Max: I don't see Desaad in the issue, though. Is there only room for one lackey in Darkseid's office?]
Inside, we’re greeted with a pretty nice splash page of Superman arriving via Boom Tube.
Kitson does a good job of showing the ghetto aspects of Armagetto, particularly how teeming and crowded it is, and how it just seems like dirty energetic chaos.
Kitson and Kesel draw a much thinner, more humanoid Darkseid than the wide and monstrous versions we’re used to from John Byrne and Dan Jurgens, but it works more than it doesn’t. The image of Superman lifting the dandy Kanto by his collar is a good one. I also never tire of Darkseid doing casual things, so holding a goblet of chilled water is a great image. [Max: Darkseid just loves chilling.]
Page 18’s yelling Superman is like a clinic in 90s hatching technique, and the falloff of light from Darkseid’s omega beams on the following page looks very Keith Giffen to me. Finally, those eye-beams in use is probably the best image in the comic.
SPEEDING BULLETS:
I can hardly think of an issue in recent memory where less actually happened, plot-wise, but that’s been a feature of the "Dead Again!" storyline. On its face, you could summarize this plot as: Superman arrives on Apokolips to accuse Darkseid. He’s briefly delayed and then does so. Zero B-storyline.
There’s a few unfamiliar faces in this issue for me, but they’re interesting characters to call back—the pale woman in red (with the logo that comes dangerously close to that of Vampirella) is Bloody Mary, an Apokoliptan vampire created by none other than the writer artist team of this issue, Karl Kesel and Barry Kitson in Hawk and Dove #35. Gilotina (the conventionally pretty woman in pink) is a Jack Kirby original, but fellow Kesel and Kitson creation Speed Queen (with teal hair miscoloured as brown) also appears in that first group of Furies. Another character I didn’t remember was archer Artemis (sometimes called Artemiz), and then a little research showed she first popped up in Suicide Squad #35 in 1989, an issue whose cover was inked by—you guessed it—Karl Kesel. So it was neat of the super-team to bring back some of these lesser known Furies. We also get a blink and you’ll miss it cameo from a character called Buna, who Dan Jurgens will have a fuller story around in about 9 months’ time. But this issue is considered her first appearance. [Max: She's the green one!]
I gotta say, I’m a little confused by them writing Virman Vundabar as having an actual German accent. His military garb is certainly Prussian in appearance, and any connection to German armies is a visual cue for evil, but I guess I think it’s weird an alien from Apokolips would have an earth-territory based accent. [Max: Does Virman Vundabar speak with a German accent, or do German people speak with a Virman Vundabar accent?]
I apologize for letting modern politics into my writing here, but Darkseid sitting back while his minions riot at his behest, against a force they can’t possibly defeat really put me in the mind of January 6th. Just me? [Max: Darkseid is shown to have some semblance of honor and commitment to the truth in this issue, so I'm not sure the comparison works...]
We all know I love a good Donner Superman reference, and Superman tossing Gilotina into the throng of Furies recalls Margot Kidder’s similar “pain in the neck” bon mot.
I kinda love how everything on Apokolips has an eeeee-vil name. Fahren-Knife? Love it.
I don’t know if there was an edict on the Smallville TV show that Clark wasn’t allowed to throw a punch, but it sure seemed to me like his main move was just to throw people. We get a lot of that in this issue as he tosses Lashina (who I guess could survive it?) and then later Kanto (who should NOT be able to survive the blistering furnace, despite Darkseid assuring the reader he will).
GODWATCH: Interesting version of divine mentions here, as Superman ragingly describes Apokolips as “Godforsaken” and Darkseid self-referentially corrects Superman, saying that Apokolips is God-fearing. A point that would have held more currency if Superman hadn’t put a Mother Box on Darkseid’s owies like a band-aid last time they met.
Very weird of Darkseid to hint to Superman that the Cyborg Superman still lives, but I suppose that’s more of a catch up for the readers.
At least they give a reason for Darkseid’s clue to Superman (owing him for saving his life in Darkseid’s disastrous fight with Doomsday), one which Superman actually picks up on. Yes, Superman absolutely, 100% accurately took Darkseid’s hint that the maniac behind the brain problems Superman is having was caused by that character first introduced to post-Crisis readers in a carnival sideshow, known for his theatrical appearance—Mr. Mxyzptlk. Yup, it’s definitely for sure for sure Mxy. [Max: Yep. Some Fine deduction by Superman.]
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"DEAD AGAIN!," Part 3! Superman fights a villain called Deathtrap (or "Death-Trap," according to the title page) and, oh yeah, finds out he himself is dead. Quite a morbid issue, really.
Last week in Superman #94, Professor Hamilton finished analyzing the corpse that was found in Superman's supposedly empty tomb and determined that it is, in fact, the real Superman. So who's the other guy? You know, the one who's alive and also uses more shampoo than Superman used to? The living "Superman" (if that's even his real name) agrees to be examined by Hamilton too, but he has to put that off when an emergency comes up: an old lady had her purse snatched!!! Right in front of some cops, too.
"Damn, now I'll never be able to afford the rest of the hair plugs..."
The old lady is thankful, but both she and the cops have their doubts about this so-called Man of Steel (she actually asks him if he's "not like that... that killer cyborg person," as if he'd just say "oh yeah, I'm totally like that, super evil"). Even he admits that he only bailed from Hamilton's lab at S.T.A.R. Labs because he's worried about those tests proving he's not the real Superman. He could always adopt a new identity, like "The Scarlet Strongman" or something.
Back at S.T.A.R., the scientists not currently occupied analyzing super-buff corpses have called a specialist called Carl Draper to build a new cell for the villain Conduit (who has appeared in seven issues in a row as of this one, so they should really start giving him co-star billing). As a reminder, they need a new cell because Conduit broke out of the last one when someone pissed him off during lunchtime.
Draper overhears Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen talking about how Superman might not be Superman, which, combined with his teenage daughter telling him he couldn't build a prison to hold an authentic Kryptonian, gives him an idea for a little side project: he's gonna find out if this is the Real Steel Deal by making a trap only Superman could escape from. Naturally, this involves creating a supervillain persona for himself, the aforementioned Deathtrap.
Deathtrap uses that little gizmo up there to trap the supposed Superman in an airtight force-field that will suffocate him pretty soon, even with super lungs. Superman tries frying the gizmo with his heat vision, but its "learning computer" has calculated his reaction times and knows how to avoid him (freaking AIs, man). He tries flying out of the atmosphere, but the little thing is speed-proof, space-proof, and even reentering-the-atmosphere-proof.
Next, Superman tries crashing into one of Metropolis' many condemned buildings (demolition companies HATE this man), but nope, the gizmo's still there. He tries shocking it with electricity, but all that does is recharge its batteries. With his oxygen running out, Superman tries one last thing: flying into a steel foundry's blast furnace. That finally does the trick and, more importantly, gains Superman some believers among the foundry's workers. Not everyone's totally convinced, though...
Superman snaps (very un-Supermanly) at that worker who dared question the logic of his current hairdo, telling him that the corpse is "just part of some scheme -- and I'll find whoever's behind it."
NEXT: Superman tries finding whoever's behind it!
Character-Watch:
First appearance of Carl Draper, who in the old continuity went by "Master Jailer," but I guess that name wasn't '90s enough so they changed it to "Deathtrap." Curiously, the original Draper was an old classmate of Clark Kent (nicknamed "Moosie"!) who hated his guts, so it's probably not a coincidence that he debuted on a comic that also includes Conduit, this continuity's foremost Clark Kent hater.
This issue also introduces his daughter Carla, who overhears her dad monologuing about ways to trap Superman at the end of the issue. She will eventually go into the family business and pester Superboy.
At some point in the '00s, Carl would revert back to "Master Jailer," because "Deathtrap" was too '90s.
Plotline-Watch:
That foundry worker who says Superman's hair grew too fast is absolutely correct. As we've pointed out before, Superman had short hair when he went into the Awesome Kryptonian Battle Robot in Action #689 and long hair when he stepped out in Man of Steel #25. I'm gonna assume Karl Kesel added that line as a reference to the 300 letters they got on the subject.
Before being derailed by Deathtrap, Superman recaps the events of his resurrection: first he died (a common prerequisite for being resurrected), then his corpse was placed in a cozy tomb, and then the Eradicator took it from that tomb and brought it to the Fortress of Solitude (as told in Action #690). However, Superman only has the Eradicator's word that this is what happened, and that guy hasn't always been the most trustworthy. This is a teaser for a crossover happening in the next issue of Action.
Speaking of "only having one person's word," this entire storyline relies on Professor Hamilton being truthful, since he's the only one analyzing the Super-corpse (and even if he wasn't, he was perfectly positioned to fudge with the results). I'm not a fan of Hambone reverting to his criminal ways, but if one storyline had to have him as the surprise villain, it should have been this one. The twist could have been that he'd had his mind hijacked by some villain, maybe even one with somewhat similar facial hair...
There's a scene where Lois is trying to have a romantic dinner with Clark to make him feel better about himself, but Lucy Lane invites herself in with one of the Riot Grrrls and they completely ruin the vibe. I think Lucy just wanted to show off that she's got friends other than Jimmy Olsen now. Can't say I blame her.
Shout Outs-Watch:
Explosive (but not damagingly so) shout outs to our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Blosser, and Bryan! You are the wind beneath our capes. Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode! NOTE: If you subscribe, please check your junk mail for the activation email!
You might be thinking "Two posts in two weeks?! What is this, 2016?!" That's all thanks to the great Don Sparrow, who wrote up his side of this one so fast that he spurred me to get off my butt and do the same thing for once. So read on for Don's section!
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover and it’s a good one, incorporating the text of the story title as an element that is crushing Superman with pressure from all sides, which is an apt symbol of this story, but figuratively and literally.
Inside the book we get a fussy Professor Hamilton, who Barry Kitson always draws as a little more manicured than the scruffier version we see from other super teamsters. I’m always amused that even at this late date, street punks are still uniformly depicted as having partially shaved heads, pierced ears, sleeveless shirts and the like. Not that the little old lady is any less stereotypically handled. Though the punk running directly into Superman’s pectorals is a pretty satisfying turn.
A few pages later we see what Conduit is up to, and get more about this Draper character mentioned in the last issue. Apart from maybe Meat Loaf himself, it’s hard to imagine a non-vampire pulling off the frilly cravat look, but it does signal immediately how pretentious Draper is, if his self-aggrandizing dialogue wasn’t hint enough.
The scene introducing Draper’s daughter is confusing, in part because she doesn’t look particularly youthful in a couple panels, but also because it seems odd to me for a child to call a parent by their last name.
A little bit of inker excess on the loving shot of Lois Lane’s miniskirted behind on page 8, but the fisheye Clark Kent is a good one. The image of the flying eye exploding once grabbed is a good panel on page 12, but the whole thing is awfully reminiscent of Superman #2 from all those years ago. If we remember a flying eye that detonated the instant it was grabbed, surely Superman might remember that, particularly since that one, like this one, had enough explosive to level a block.
[Max: I was gonna say this is another classic case of Kesel referencing ideas from old issues he inked, but then I looked it up and that one was actually inked by Terry Austin. Still, Kesel presumably got a complimentary copy too...]
As we’re introduced to the holographic Deathtrap character, it’s a mostly good design (though not really a major improvement over the original Carl Draper Master Jailer design), but his colours make it seem like he’s an NHL expansion team. [Max: I don't know what that means, but it feels true and accurate.]
Superman’s gamely attempt to shake off the force field has some good moments, but the best image of the bunch is when Superman emerges from the blast furnace unharmed like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.
SPEEDING BULLETS:
Think you got enough pens, professor? [Max: Maybe he keeps accidentally breaking them with his new robot hand? Okay, I meant that as a joke but it sounds like a real explanation...]
Professor Hamilton doesn’t give much of an answer to Lois Lane’s point that examining an invulnerable Kryptonian body isn’t straightforward, not really getting into his methods, aside from assuring her they were verified and re-verified.
I actually think Hamilton is a little too restrained in this issue. If he has scientifically proven that Superman never returned from the dead—and he believes he has—then his casualness is pretty out of place, as it means that the man standing in front of him is an imposter, and likely a dangerous one.
I wasn’t quite old enough to drive by 1995, but was locking radios a thing? I remember yutzes removing it altogether and carrying the radio like a boombox, but I can’t recall locking radios.
What the heck is on Clark’s sweatshirt? It appears to say NZ at first (New Zealand maybe?) but by the next page it seems to say N5? That level of visual drift is usually reserved for AI imagery. [Max: Must be N5... because he's the FIFTH Superman impostor!!]
There’s something so strange about Superman’s anxiety about whether he’s the real deal. It reminds me of when Andy needed Michael to confirm whether or not he himself was gay on The Office. Wouldn’t you be the one who knows?
I’m glad they added the suffocating force field angle, because otherwise it would be dumb for Superman to play along with Deathtrap’s game.
I do tire of all the buildings scheduled for convenient demolition in Metropolis, but I guess that’s better than the willy nilly occupied building destruction we see in modern superhero movies. Also, demolished buildings aren’t just reduced to powder, a lot of stuff gets extracted and equipment used, etc.
I was expecting Superman to try to trace the broadcast of the hologram, which would have to be projected remotely, but I guess when you’re running out of air, you want to deal with that first.
Draper isn’t just frilly white turtleneck with a Nehru jacket corny, he’s sunglasses indoors corny.
Missed an issue? Looking for an old storyline? Check out our chronological issue index!
"Peer Pressure," Part 3! We learn how Kenny "Conduit" Braverman became a supervillain, and how Clark Kent learned about journalism... and other things. Sexy things. After finding out that someone definitely wants to kill him in Superman #0, Clark apparently thought "ah well, what are ya gonna do" and went back to calmly painting his apartment with an also very relaxed-looking Lois Lane. Or at least she looked relaxed until he pulled this gag on her:
What they don't know is that Conduit is spying on them through the scope of a giant '90s supervillain gun. For some reason, the subject of someone trying to kill him makes Clark think back to his time wandering around Europe after college. More specifically, he remembers spending time in Paris and meeting a "worldly" journalist called Simone D'Neige who took a special interest in him, if you know what I mean. (I mean they porked. Or at least it's heavily suggested that they porked.)
While Clark talks about that, Conduit remembers what he was doing at the same time: volunteering to be studied by the CIA because of the weird condition he'd had since he was a kid. Eager to rise from "lab rat" to an actual CIA agent, Kenny infiltrates a Quraci terrorist group and helps them plan a terrorist attack in, what do you know, Paris. The two flashbacks intersect when Clark and Kenny remember bumping into each other at a club; Kenny hides his contempt for Clark, while Clark is just happy to see his old buddy.
Clark tells Kenny about an important interview that Simone set up for him near the Seine. Kenny is like "cool!" and then runs off to convince his new terrorist pals that it sure would be fun to blow up a bus on a very specific spot near the Seine. On the day of interview/terrorist attack, Clark happens to spot the almost-exploding bus and has to ditch Simone to throw the bomb in the river with his super-speed. As a result, Clark gets dumped by Simone while Kenny is commended by the CIA for exposing the Quracis with a terrorist attack that killed no one, though he's still pissed that he didn't get to blow up Clark.
In the present, Conduit finally sees Lois and Clark near a window and shoots at them...
(Hope Lois didn't ruin her AI-generated "Adidas" leggings.)
...but it turns out Conduit was only looking at a mirror. To make matters worse, Superman once again comes out of nowhere and butts in on Conduit's attempts to murder his old schoolmate, the big meddler. During the ensuing fight, Conduit says "I play the cards fate deals me, Superman! But I play to win!" Superman remembers Kenny saying something like that when they met in Paris. At first he's like "nah, it couldn't possibly be my good ol' chum" -- but a quick X-Ray peek reveals that, yep, Conduit is Kenny. Give or take a few cables.
("You bastard!")
Superman is still reeling from that revelation when he's zapped by a blast of that green energy that's always crackling around Conduit, which turns out to be... KRYPTONITE!!! The issue ends with Superman sinking underwater after the kryptonite blast and everything going dark. That's a TO BE CONTINUED right there if I ever saw one.
Character-Watch:
First appearance of Simone D'Neige, one of a select group of women who might have realistically had the honor of popping Superman's cherry. She will re-appear under a different spelling (damn you, Superboy Prime!) and join the Daily Planet staff... until 1999, when everyone forgets her forever. Except Clark, presumably.
Plotline-Watch:
I need to point out that the front page story Simone wrote about the foiled terrorist attack is headlined "SACRE-BOUM!" She won 14 Pulitzers and, despite not living in Metropolis, a Baldy Award for it.
Bibbo doesn't appear in this issue (boooo), but you could say it's still an important milestone in Bibbo continuity because Clark is wearing a shirt that says "Bibbo's Pal - Ace O'Clubs Wear." My only question is why would Clark wear anything else now that he owns that. Yes, including to the office.
When trying to think of who might want to kill Clark, Lois mentions Intergang, a name we've barely seen since Clark brought them down with the power of journalism (and a little bit of punching) exactly three years ago, in Superman #60. Clark reminds her that "Intergang's still dissolved." For now.
The CIA scientists who study Kenny wonder if his nascent powers might have anything to do with "the Cadmus boys metagene." I don't remember Cadmus having anything to do with the discovery of the metagene, first mentioned during the Invasion! crossover, but it would make sense if they did and kept it quiet because, you know, secret government agency and all.
You might think it's a huge coincidence that Clark went from never mentioning Kenny to randomly bringing him up like six times during this one storyline, but consider this: this is technically a new universe. It's possible that in post-Zero Hour continuity, Clark brings up his dear friend Kenny every single day and Lois is just used to it by now.
Shout Outs-Watch:
French shout outs (okay, that sounded dirtier than I wanted it to) to our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Shevlin, Dave Blosser, and Bryan! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter’s “pay what you want” mode! Both of those also have free tiers, if you just wanna get posts like this one in your inbox.
And now, more art commentary (and pictures of Simone D'Neige) from Don Sparrow:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover, and even apart from the metallic silver look, it would be an all-timer. The explosions subtly recall to me the first return to Adventures issue, AOS #505, with the holographic fireworks. Only these aren’t fireworks, they’re clearly enemy fire. Still, great pose, great colouring, great look.
Kitson and McCarthy absolutely excel at the shiny, high-tech look of Conduit, each muscle looking realistic and in place.
While I’ve been enjoying Lois’ more casual fitness outfits, Clark is really leaning into the inherent dude-broiness of the mullet, and wearing sunglasses indoors with cutoffs and a neon shirt.
As the story continues, we get parallel histories of these post-high-school years of both Clark and Kenny, and as with other issues that did these sort of parallel stories at once, it doesn’t really work as a whole—you almost have to read the entire top story first, then come back and read the bottom story, otherwise it gets a little confusing to follow. But there are some great visuals here, first of Paris France, in Clark’s story about worldly Simone D’Niege, but also a very Agent Coulson looking handler in Kenny’s story (a full 14 years before the Marvel films began to feature him).
The story zips along well, and generally, this art team is great, but there are a few strange things from time to time like Clark having about 32 teeth on the top row as he makes a hip reference to the Bee Gees' 1977 song. I like the cutaway edge for Superman’s x-ray vision, and as in the last issue, Kenny’s cords and cables look quite painful.
SPEEDING BULLETS:
For those of you unfamiliar with these international terms, a French Kiss is when the tongue is used during a regular lip kiss. And a French Copy-Edit is when an older woman mashes her ample chest against your ear while checking your spelling.
As a die-hard Lois and Clark ‘shipper, I naturally detest any of their previous relationships, but even so there’s something particularly grating about the Simone character. Almost every line of her dialogue contains either a come-on or a threat, which isn’t an endearing trait. Continuity-wise it rankles as well, as it becomes hard to fit in all these meaningful relationships to such a short post-high-school era, particularly given how important Lori Lemaris was made out to be in previous issues. On the other hand, even while I dislike Simone, I’m uncomfortable with Clark using a gendered insult like “salope”, the kindest translation of which is “slut” (and there are a few even worse), when he tells Lois about her. [Max: I think Simone and Jeb Friedman should be in the same comic at some point. Preferably Suicide Squad.]
There’s something amusing about a full-on makeout in the back of a parked cab, on page 11. I can just imagine an over-it French cabbie rolling his eyes.
It’s good writing to have Superman clue into Kenny’s identity from his phrase about cards and fate, even if it has felt like it’s taken a long time for Clark to catch up to us readers.
Missed an issue? Looking for an old storyline? Check out our new chronological issue index!
Massacre in Metropolis, Part 2: the ice cream heist turns fatal! As seen last week, Massacre and his wormy little sidekick, Skimmer, have come to Earth to steal ice cream for a space mobster, but Skimmer ends up doing all the work while Massacre goes straight to punching Superman. In fact, Massacre cares so little about completing the mission that he punches Superman right into the spaceship carrying all the ice cream, causing it to come crashing down and explode. Superman, Massacre, and Skimmer survive the explosion but the ice cream, sadly, does not.
Massacre gleefully pummels Superman, who's having trouble punching him back -- Massacre always seems to know exactly what his next move will be and act accordingly. After deducing that Massacre doesn't have psychic powers (otherwise he'd be taunting him with stuff like "I bet Lois is making out with Jeb Friedman right about now!"), Superman figures out that he's predicting his moves by "sensing nerve signals," whatever that means.
What's important is that Superman deliberately misses Massacre with his heat vision in order to drop a wall on him from behind by surprise, and then just starts beating the crap out of him while Massacre is too distracted to sense any nerves or whatever. The massacrer has become the massacred!
Meanwhile, Superman's own wormy little sidekick, Jimmy Olsen, is taking photos of the fight from a rather flimsy-looking half-destroyed bridge, as a worried Lois looks on. Skimmer, who is also worried about his guy losing (and ending up stranded on Earth), sneaks up on Lois and takes her hostage. Lois, however, is pretty used to being kidnapped by "meta-weirdos" by now, so she quickly frees herself...
...at which point the entire bridge starts collapsing due to a blast shot by Massacre. Superman is able to save Lois and Jimmy, but Skimmer is buried by the rubble and it looks like he's about to go the big Ben & Jerry's in the sky. Supes wants to take him to a hospital (it's Metropolis; they probably have a whole unit for aliens crushed by debris during fights), but a weirdly emotional Massacre says no. He says Skimmer may be a bug but he's his bug, so he wants to transport him to a "xeno-med" instantly, which is his only chance of surviving. Superman agrees, and as Massacre disappears with Skimmer, he says something about having "learned his lesson well."
On the final page, we see that, after leaving Skimmer at the space hospital, Massacre retired from punching and now works a normal office job at a space insurance comp-- wait, no. He actually just let Skimmer die while he sat on an asteroid, thinking about how he's glad his little pal is dead now, because that means his rivalry with Superman is now personal.
(No, he's not cheekily winking at the camera, he just got a swollen eye from the fight.)
Creator-Watch:
As with Massacre's first appearance, artist Barry Kitson is credited as plotter in this issue, with regular writer Karl Kesel handling dialogue. You can sort of tell they're working Marvel style (art goes first, then the writer figures out what the characters are saying) because the narrative style is WAY more action-driven than your average Kesel comic, and some of the dialogue has a distinct "OK, what do I make them say in this one?" vibe to it.
This might explain why parts of the fight feel repetitive, as Don Sparrow points out (but I'll let him talk about it in his section below!).
Plotline-Watch:
When he goes off to take photos of the fight, Jimmy leaves his clothes-scavenging partner Lucy Lane with the white-haired girl from Adventures #514, who turns out to 1) be named Case and 2) want to be a rock star. In fact, she and some friends are currently looking for instruments in the wreckage of a music shop so they can form a band called the Riot Grrrls and play at the upcoming Metropolis benefit concert. They're nice enough not to ditch her, but Lucy doesn't really fit in with the group; she's more of a Tiffany person, as we find out.
Lucy apparently doesn't realize that the "Babe" mentioned above is Jimmy's old friend Babe Tanaka, now a big death metal star (as mentioned in Man of Steel #36), whom she should probably remember from that time they were both turned into vampires and almost slayed by Robin. Or maybe Lucy does remember Babe but she's playing dumb because she's still jealous of that time two years ago when she saw her "kissing" Jimmy at the hospital...
The Massacre/Doomsday comparisons continue. Don Sparrow says: "Massacre gets more of a push, with still some more Doomsday invocations, as Lois' fretting establishes that Superman had an easier time fighting Doomsday than he did Massacre." Because, you know, he could actually lay a punch on Doomsday. Lois' concerns turn out to be misplaced (one distraction and Massacre turned into a punching bag) but I think we should cut the girl some slack; she did just watch her guy get beaten to death a few month's ago, in the comic's timeline.
After successfully ricocheting his heat vision to drop that wall on Massacre, Superman thinks: "And Ma said Pete and I were wasting our time in that pool hall!" Imagine young "aw shucks" Clark Kent and Pete Ross angering redneck hustlers by being inexplicably good at pool. Why wasn't that included in the World of Smallville miniseries?! Why wasn't the whole mini about that?!
Plug-Watch:
SPARROW ALERT! Don will be appearing at SaskAssemble AND Sask Expo Regina in September, so if you're from those parts, go there and confront him about his shameless Jimmy Olsen apologism.
If you're using League of Comic Geeks (sort of a Letterboxd for comics), I've started an account where I'm slowly posting blurbs from our older blog entries in the corresponding Superman '86 to '99 era issues, so feel free to follow along! I'll also be (briefly) commenting on the non-Superman comics I do read from time to time, including the '90s DC stuff I scour for Superman references for the Super Titles Round-Up posts. Be warned that you might suddenly see like 40 Zero Hour crossover issues show up in your feed...
Shout Outs-Watch:
Riot Grrrl-loud shout outs to our supporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, Dave Shevlin, and Dave Blosser! Join them (and get extra non-continuity articles) via Patreon or our newsletter’s “pay what you want” mode!
Oh yeah, Don is also appearing RIGHT HERE AND NOW:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover, and it’s a little bit of déjà vu, a conceptual mirror image to last week’s Superman #92, where Massacre was decking Superman. On this week’s cover, Superman is striking back. Apart from the reference to the previous cover, this one is fine, but maybe a little stiff and static.
Inside the book, we’re greeted almost immediately with a big old explosion as Superman, Massacre, and Skimmer’s ship crash back down to the rubble that is Metropolis, miraculously hurting no one important.
An odd thing in these fire-lit pages is that aside from slightly curlier hair, it’s hard to tell Lois Lane apart from “Dis”, one of the Riot Grrrls. The image on page 4, though, of Superman’s fighting stance in the flames against Massacre, is a good one.
The art team seems to thrive at drawing teeth, which are prominently featured in a sequence of panels on pages 11 and 12. Say what you want about intergalactic villain Massacre—he takes care of his chompers.
The battle scenes here are well-drawn—generally Barry Kitson is a terrific and consistent penciller—but there is something repetitive about the fighting. Apart from Superman’s heat vision bank-shot, it’s literally just a slugfest, with the fight choreography just being haymaker after haymaker.
It’s not only visually a bit repetitive, but seems to forget that Superman learned to fight smarter (using his flight, heat vision and arctic breath more to his advantage) in his second fight with Doomsday.
To this point, Skimmer seemed like a harmless hanger-on, so it’s a bummer to see him go full villain, threatening (and very nearly groping) Lois Lane. Nice to see Lois do some hand to hand combat to free herself, and her dialogue about not being a damsel in distress is in-character.
The images of Massacre crying are unintentionally hilarious, as is Superman’s stern, vice principal like admonishing that so long as Massacre continues killing, they’ll remain enemies, BUT HE’S FREE TO GO. [Max: I always took the "crying" as a side effect of the beating, since it's only in one eye and it's the one that looks swollen on the final page. Maybe Massacre's blood is white? Or maybe Kitson intended it as blood but the editors toned it down to avoid implying Superman punched someone's eye off.]
I suppose Massacre staying would threaten Skimmer’s survival, since Massacre says he’s taking off to tend to his care, but still, this seems super weird and casual after they’ve built Massacre up as an unstoppable killing machine for three issues.
SPEEDING BULLETS:
You might be sitting there thinking an excessive amount of time is being spent on the characters Azuki, Case, Dis, Margo and Sinda forming a band, a band called the Riot Grrrls. If that’s what you’re thinking, you’d be right. [Max: Maybe once Kitson learned he'd be plotting the issue he said "Awesome, I can turn it into a backdoor pilot for my Riot Grrrrls comic pitch!"] Aside from taking up a lot of panels and not really advancing the story, I also have to chuckle at the on-the-nose band name, which Is also the name of a Pacific Northwest punk movement or genre. Calling your band Riot Grrrls would be as literal as naming your band “Seattle Sound” or “Grunge Music” in 1994. On the plus side, Dis mentions Bessolo Boulevard, which we’ve established is a reference to the adopted name of tragic 50’s Superman, George Reeves.
I had thought that Case’s mention of “Shonen Knife” was some kind of in-universe slang (the Legion books were always establishing future slang terms, as were off-worlders like Lobo, whose expression “Feetal’s Gizz” became almost like a catch phrase, or in Batman Beyond, the young people called things “shui”, an apparent abbreviation of the principle of feng shui) but that’s just because I wasn’t sufficiently hip to know that Shonen Knife was an all-girl Japanese pop-punk band. In our universe, even! So Case was dismissing her lyrics as being too close to a Shonen Knife song. Which one? I have no idea.
A little later in the story, the Riot Grrrls take up two more full pages to scavenge the rubble of a music store, called Tom N’ Nancy’s Music Mart. I believe this is a reference to frequent Karl Kesel collaborator Tom Grummett, and his wife, Nancy Grummett (a celebrated potter/artist in her own right, in these parts). [Max: And the store seems to be located in Grummett Ave., too!]
There’s also pop culture references, one to Teen Talk Barbie, the controversial 1992 Barbie doll who famously said “Math class is tough” (among 270 other less offensive phrases, including “I’m studying to be a doctor”) earning the ire of the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics. The doll is misquoted in this issue as having said “Math is hard.” Lucy Lane also shows her pop culture illiteracy when Margo mentions lead singer/vampire harpy Babe Tanaka, and Lucy asks if she’s anything like Tiffany. Pop singer Tiffany (nee Tiffany Darwish) was largely out of the public eye by the mid-90s, and a far cry from a Riot Grrrl.
Seriously, it’s just so weird to try to give Massacre a heart, like he’s a big softie at the end! [Max: Whether he was crying or not, I still think he should join the Riot Grrrls and write a heartfelt song the sad passing of Skimmer.]
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"THE BATTLE FOR METROPOLIS," Part 4! The Death of Project Cadmus! (Well, "death" in comic book terms.) After the events of last issue, in which a bunch of Cadmus-brand rockets exploded all around Metropolis, a royally pissed-off Superman heads to the formerly top secret government installation to register his displeasure with Director Westfield... only to find out that someone beat him to it, because Westfield has been murdered.
Since Cadmus' top dorks don't have much experience shouting orders at soldiers (the guy in charge of that just died), Superman steps in to fill that role while they try to figure out who killed Westfield and where his ear went.
Given that Cadmus' other, nerdier directors have spent days in a probably very stinky lab trying to come up with a cure for the Clone Plague ravaging Metropolis (and a small part of Hawaii), the main suspect for Westfield's murder is Dr. Carl Packard, a nervous little guy who tends to disappear for days. Also, he was just found wandering the hallways muttering about someone who "deserves death," so that doesn't look too good for him. Before Packard can explain himself (he was talking about his other evil boss, Lex Luthor), the whole murder mystery matter is shuffled aside when the nerds actually find the key to curing the Plague: the blood of one of the few clones who didn't get sick, the Guardian! Hope he's got a lot of it.
As it turns out, they need Packard to create that Guardian-fueled cure, so everyone agrees to forget about the fact that he's probably a murderer for a while. As soon as they let Packard near a computer, however, he uses the secret program in all LexCorp PCs that notifies Lex if someone types his name (yes, Lex was the original "searches himself on Twitter all day" billionaire) to send him a message telling him about the cure. Instead of letting Packard cook and then stealing the cure, the Plague-stricken and increasingly insane Lex orders his Lex-Men to invade Cadmus and kidnap the Guardian. To be fair, he does look like he's about 15 seconds away from shriveling up into a prune, so I get the urgency.
So, Superman and the few Cadmus soldiers in there (most are out fighting angry clones in Metropolis) have to defend the facility from an army of flying armored goons while the nerds try to work on the cure. Lex uses a hologram of himself when he still had hair to try to convince Superman that he should let Superboy, the Newboy Legion kids, and all those sewer clones die so that Lex himself can live ("Would you let Einstein die to save the Bowery Boys?"), but somehow he isn't dissuaded. Not only that, but Superman even calls Lex "contemptible"... and, uh, everyone else who uses a wig.
Lex must have really hated that crack about his baldness, because the next thing he does is order the Lex-Men to blow up Cadmus' reactor and kill everyone inside. If he can't have the cure, no one can. Superman looks a bit overwhelmed with the soon-to-explode reactor and the Lex-Men trying to stop him from containing it (so much so that he calls them "idiots," about the strongest insult you'll hear from this Superman), but then someone stops by to help him: patient zero of the Clone Plague cure...
...Superboy! Who could barely stand up the last time we saw him and is now flying and punching goons, so looks like that cure is working. Superman tells the Kid to take those goons outside while he tries to prevent the reactor from exploding, but as soon as Superboy makes it out, there's a huge explosion and the mountain surrounding Cadmus collapses. Superboy wants to start digging up the survivors, but Superman tells him not to bother: everyone is dead. And he'll make Luthor pay for this and all his other sins, once and for all... next week, in Action Comics #700!
TO BE CONCLUDED, obviously.
Plotline-Watch:
That's it for Project Cadmus, and everyone who worked in it, which will never appear ag-- ok, no one actually believes that. We'll see how they saved themselves and why Superman is pretending they died next issue. Note, however, that Superboy isn't pretending to believe that some of his best friends are buried under a mountain, so his chipperness in that final panel is disturbing.
As you've probably guessed if you've been paying attention, the one who stole Westfield's ear was the same maniac who killed him, disgraced geneticist Dabney Donovan. I don't remember if Dabney ever used Westfield's ear in one of his experiments, but even if he didn't, at least he got to use it for a couple of corny jokes.
Poor Dr. Happersen... he's trying to tell his boss he loves him and would never betray him, and Lex cuts him off and yells at him. Plus, in the same page Lex made it clear that he still isn't totally convinced Happersen isn't Lois Lane's informant, even thought it obviously isn't him. It's hard not to read that exchange with Smithers' and Mr. Burns' voices.
There's a nice little moment with the Guardian, originally a Captain America self-ripoff by Cap creators Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, saying he's okay with dying to make the cure because he's lived a very long life. Lines like that work better when it's a character who's actually been around since the '40s. I wouldn't have minded if he had died during this storyline -- they could always make another clone later on (and seeing him struggle to live up to his own legacy might have been interesting).
Patreon-Watch:
The latest Patreon-only post was about an Elseworlds story where Superman turns into a cursed spirit haunting a villain, one where he turns the X-Men into the JLA, and (briefly) one where Bizarro teams up with every other DC villain whose name ends in "O." Join Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, Bol, and Gaetano Barreca at the Superman '86 to '99 Patreon!
And now, more from Don Sparrow (whose newsletter you should be subscribed to, by the way)...
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover, and it’s a pretty good one, with co-star Guardian in well-drawn technological peril, and I never tire of blasts bouncing off Superman.
Inside the book we are greeted with a poster (or at least sticker) worthy image of an on-edge Superman flying at the viewer, his Tarzan-like mane flowing in the wind.
Kitson’s art at this time is a bit strange to me—it might be the inker, or more likely it’s the era—the early 90s demanded everything be a bit more exxxxxxtreme and Jim-Lee-like in its rendering, but it mostly seems at odds with Kitson’s naturalistic drawing style. So you get weird in-between drawings, like on page 2 where Superman is yelling, but his mouth appears to barely be open (as opposed to page 5, when Dr. Packard shouts in surprise, and his mouth appears to be fully extended).
A page later Superman’s surprise (and perhaps grief?) at Westfield’s death is captured well.
On page 4, the fun really begins, as Kitson seems to really have a ball drawing the insane and Dr. Robotnik-like Dabney Donovan, and his comedic use of a stolen body part.
A small thing, but worth mentioning: Kitson and McCarthy absolutely kill it when it comes to reflective surfaces. Throughout the issue, the shiny glasses are on point. Great stuff there, particularly with the two-tone colouring of a Lex-Men soldier on page 16.
On page 10 we get our latest look at Lex Luthor, and it ain’t pretty. The little lines on his flesh make it seem so fragile and sickly.
The full page splash of Cadmus mountain imploding seems like a bit of a missed opportunity, as Superboy isn’t really facing the “camera” and the destruction is mostly dust. Finally, on page 21, the drawing of Superman’s righteous anger at Lex wreaking death and destruction is a great one.
In contrast to Superman #90, where I felt not a lot happened, this issue is chock full of activity, with a race against the clock to find a cure for the clone sickness, Lex-Men invaders, and a core meltdown, plus a little pop-in with Dabney AND a Superboy cameo—it’s a big one, and a nice hors d’oeuvres for the very BIG number coming next week.
SPEEDING BULLETS:
I think Dr. Packard should be played by Micro Machines Motormouth, John Moschitta Jr. It would certainly make his scientific explanations a lot funnier to imagine them being said at lightspeed.
Superboy makes a reference to a Nancy Kerrigan commercial, which was probably this one for Campbell’s Chicken noodle, where the otherwise waify and demure Ms. Kerrigan bodychecks a hockey player (the Campbell’s slogan, at the time, was “Never Underestimate the Power of Soup”, which is the line that gets cut off as Superboy speaks). [Max: Fun fact, in the Spanish version I read in the '90s, Superboy just says "I learned this from a TV ad." Guess they didn't have space for a footnote explaining who Nancy Kerrigan was...]
GODWATCH: Interesting that Big Words seems to be a believer, as Guardian bravely takes the experimental treatment, the man of science prays that Jim Harper has a “personal guardian”.
This is a pretty testosterone-driven issue—I can’t remember off-hand another issue that had not a single female appear in the story. [Max: There IS a female Cadmus trooper in page 1, but she doesn't speak, unless she's supposed to be yelling "SSSSHHOOOOOOM!" as Superman flies by... which I'd totally do.]
