#ratchma

Finished my custom MTMTE Ratchet <3

My headcanon is that Ratchet generally suggests the kinky stuff, but he is famously bad at communicating. So the upshot of this is that Ratchet will sheepishly stutter out whatever kink he wants to try and Pharma will be like "I'll get back to you" and look up videos of the kink on BotPornhub, then tell Ratchet yea or nay.

So Ratchet mumbles out that he wants to try verbal humiliation, only if Pharma wants to of course, and he wouldn't mean any of the mean things he'd be saying about Pharma, ramble ramble, and Pharma goes off and casually sips his energon tea while he watches 480p videos of bots banging while one of them calls the other a cheap frag toy, etc. Pharma finds it all rather silly but not objectionable and he tells Ratchet, "Sure, let's do it."

So Ratchet starts out slow, he's still very self-conscious about even suggesting this, but as per usual Pharma starts Getting Into It because his kink is having Ratchet's attention wholly focused on him. So when Ratchet calls him overpolished shareware? Pharma loves it. When Ratchet calls him a slutty little jet whose wings aren't even that aerodynamic? That makes Pharma so wet.

But then it happens. Ratchet calls Pharma "a third rate doctor who slept his way through medical school."

And Pharma slowly rises to his feet and asks, in an ever-so-calm voice, what exactly Ratchet means by that. And Ratchet's like "I didn't mean anything--" and Pharma's like "OH it didn't mean ANYTHING, those words that rolled so naturally off your tongue!" and he grabs a pillow and stalks out to sleep on the couch.

Then as Ratchet is standing there, dick out, trying to process wtf just happened Pharma stalks back in, shoves the pillow into Ratchet's arms, and demands that Ratchet sleep on the couch. And Ratchet slinks off to the living room.

Then in the middle of the night Pharma shakes Ratchet awake, thrusts his vorns-old final exams into his face, and demands to know Ratchet's scores, so they can compare. Ratchet literally has no idea, his med school experience is one big drunken blur, so he says he got a C and Pharma is like "Okay, well next let's call all my former teachers and you can ask them if I 'slept my way through school', I have their comm numbers right here--"

And Ratchet, both dreading this and foreseeing that this is something Pharma would deeply regret in the morning, asks if Pharma would like to try the verbal humiliation thing on Ratchet? This successfully distracts Pharma, who hems and haws a bit before agreeing to give it a go.

Ratchma doodle pls,,,,

Pharma and Ratchet try pet-play. Pharma's doing the "who's my good little turbohound" routine and giving Ratchet treats etc.

Then Pharma's like "Does my good little turbohound want to be my medical assistant~? This bot needs a fuel pump replacement," and unveils, like, a dummy that's used in medical school to train upcoming med students to do surgery. And Ratchet's thinking, "Okay, mixing medical roleplay and pet roleplay is kind of weird, but sure, why not?"

And at first Pharma is just asking Ratchet to hand him the forceps etc and rewarding him with a clicker + treats, but then he's like "Would my good little turbohound like to make an incision? Ohhhh, not like that, my sweet pup! We start the incision here, on the left side."

And Ratchet's like ". . ." because they argue about this ALL the time in their professional life and he knows starting on the RIGHT side is better, all the doctors started the incision on the RIGHT side when Ratchet was in med school, but whatever, this is fake so he goes along with it.

And then Pharma's like "Now let's clean out the ventral chamber, my sweet turbohound. No, no, we're not going to use the cloth, we're going to use the bristle brush."

And again Ratchet's like " . . ." as Pharma mushes a treat into his mouth.

Then Pharma's like "And now we will attach the electro-sensor to the ventral side, that is the most effective place according to the latest study--"

And Ratchet's like "Are you trying to clicker-train me into doing fuel pump replacements YOUR way?"

And Pharma's like "Whaaaat? Why would my sweet turbopup say that? By the way, pets don't talk back."

And Ratchet's like "PHARMA" and Pharma's like "WHAT" and Ratchet's like "RIGHT SIDE INCISIONS ARE BETTER. AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DECIDED TO DO THIS DURING SEX" and Pharma's like "IF YOU LISTENED WHEN WE WERE AT WORK I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO IT DURING SEX" and Ratchet' like "THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY YOU ARE WRONG, WHAT ABOUT THE INTERNAL TARNISHING" and Pharma's like "IF YOU SPENT LESS TIME USING STONE AGE TECHNIQUES YOU WOULD HAVE TIME TO READ THE LATEST MEDICAL JOURNALS AND SEE THAT I AM RIGHT AND THE INSTANCES OF INTERNAL TARNISHING ARE MINIMAL AND EASILY TREATABLE" and Ratchet's like "YEAH EASILY TREATABLE WITH ANOTHER WHOLLY UNNECESSARY SURGERY" and Pharma's like "DO YOU WANT THE DOG TREAT OR WHAT, CLICK-CLICK-CLICK YOU FUCKING MONGREL."