#rapmon fic

Start of Week 1:

Chae, Hyungwon (aged 28, 5’ 11”, College Professor, Hometown: Gwangju)

Choi, Sungcheol (aged 26, 5’ 10”, IT Consultant, Hometown: Daegu)

Hong, Joshua (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Pastry Chef, Hometown: Los Angeles)

Im, Changkyun (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Marketing Consultant, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jeon, Jeongguk (aged 24, 5’ 10”, Wedding Videographer, Hometown: Busan)

Jeon, Wonwoo (aged 25, 6’ 0”, Software Engineer, Hometown: Gyeongsangnam-do)

Jung, Hoseok (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Journalist, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jung, Jaehyun (aged 25, 5’ 11”, Realtor, Hometown: Seoul)

Kim, Mingyu (aged 24/25, 6’ 2”, Chiropractor, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Kim, Namjoon (aged 27, 5’ 11”, Pharmacy Technician, Hometown: Ilsan)

Kim, Seokjin (aged 29, 5’ 10.5”, Physical Therapist, Hometown: Gwacheon)

Kim, Taehyung (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Music Producer, Hometown: Daegu)  

Kwon, Soonyoung (aged 25, 5’ 10”, Executive Assistant, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Jooheon (aged 27, 5’ 10”, Graphic Designer, Hometown: Seoul)

Lee, Minhyuk (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Sales Rep, Hometown: Gwangju)

Lee, Seokmin (aged 25, 5’ 10.5”, Creative Director, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Taeyong (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Sales Account Executive, Hometown: Seoul)

Min, Yoongi (aged 29, 5’ 8.5”, Professional Pianist, Hometown: Daegu)

Moon, Taeil (aged 27, 5’ 7”, Attorney, Hometown: Seoul)

Park, Jimin (aged 26, 5’ 8.5”, Social Media Coordinator, Hometown: Busan)

Seo, Johnny (aged 27, 6’ 0”, Translator, Hometown: Chicago)

Shin, Hoseok (Wonho) (aged 30, 5’ 10”, Fitness Coach, Hometown: Anyang)

Sohn, Hyunwoo (aged 29, 5’ 11”, Mechanic, Hometown: Changdong)

Yoo, Kihyun (aged 28, 5’ 9”, Dental Assistant, Hometown: Ilsan)

Yoon, Jeonghan (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Research Assistant, Hometown: Hwaseong)

Week 1:

The last time you felt this nervous was the night you first met Jay Park.

It was a year and a half ago. You had been invited by the producers of the Bachelor to participate in season 14.

Originally, you had no idea who the Bachelor was supposed to be. About a week before you began filming, you found out it was going to be Jay and your nerves went tenfold.

You had watched him on Jisoo’s season of the Bachelorette the year prior. He had been one of your favorites, but got eliminated after hometowns when Jisoo sent him home to pursue her relationships with the other guys.

Though you were nervous, you tried to not let them show when you got out of the limo. Walking up to him in front of the mansion, you had let all of your anxieties go as you decided to go for the corniest pick up line out there.

“Um, so I think we might need to call the cops tonight,” you had said with a serious face.

“What? Why?” Jay asked back, a concerned look spreading across his face.

“Because it’s illegal for you to look that good.”

That had made him laugh. You patted yourself on the back for making a good first impression, which continued as your relationship progressed throughout the next few weeks.

Before you could even realize it, you had fallen in love with him. So, so in love with him.

Everything he did made you feel so special; he was a gentleman, he listened to you when you opened up to him, and the conversations you had on and off camera were great in your eyes.

Apparently they weren’t that good to him though, since he chose the other girl, Nayeon, over you in the end.

Oh, but the best part was getting to re-watch you get rejected by Jay on television three months later, and watching him propose to Nayeon instead and seeing how happy they were. Yeah, that was just the cherry on top.

Even then, you still couldn’t bring yourself to hate the girl. She had been nothing but sweet to you all season, and it’s not like you could help that you both fell in love with the same guy - you knew that was a risk you had to take when you agreed to go on the show.

Still, you had taken a year off to mend your broken heart, focusing on loving yourself and spending a lot of time with your friends and family.

You also spent a lot of time continuing your work as a travel nurse. You visited numerous cities in the United States, as well as in Thailand and Vietnam, lending your services where they were necessary.

Now, you had time off and wanted to spend that time trying to look for love again. When the producers of the Bachelorette approached you and asked if you wanted to be the next Bachelorette, there was no way that you could say no.

You were ready for a second chance at finding love. This time, you had a good feeling that it would be a success and you’d be walking away with a ring on your finger and your arm around a man who loved you just as much as you loved him.

The season would feature 25 men all fighting for a chance to fall in love with you.

Now in the limo, you can see the front gates of the mansion in the distance. That mansion housed you and dozens of other girls before.

In that mansion, you experienced cocktail parties, emotional rose ceremonies, and went through plenty of drama between the contestants.

Now, it would be occupied by twenty-five of your own suitors. The role reversal would take some getting used to, but you were ultimately excited.

The limo came to a halt, making you shake your head briefly out of your thoughts. You smoothed down the front of your navy blue gown - one covered in sequin beading from head to toe with spaghetti straps and an open back.

Your producer, Chan, had said it made you look like you were red carpet ready, not about to meet twenty five men who probably would never meet your high expectations.

That was the goal though; you knew that if you looked good, you’d feel good too, and hopefully that would give you good judgment on the men tonight.

Stepping a silver heel ounto the stone driveway, you are met with the dimmed lighting of the infamous Bachelor Nation mansion, as well as the face of the show’s long-time host Bang Sihyuk.

After your typical greetings you needed to do for the sake of the camera, Bang walks into the house to await the other men.

Now it’s just you, left alone with your thoughts while waiting for the first limo to pull into the driveway. You can feel the cameras on you from their multiple positions on the driveway.

Some are already in the house, waiting to begin filming the cocktail party and rose ceremony later in the evening.

‘Just remember that they’re all here for you,’ you thought to yourself. ‘You have nothing to worry about, they’re the ones that have to impress you. You just need to be yourself. Everything will be fine.’

The first man to step out of the limo is gorgeous.

His hair is dyed a faded red color, the smile lighting up his face automatically makes your heart flutter. Taking a moment to button his suit jacket that fits him oh so well, you take notice of the black sticks in his hands.

You smile grows wider as he approaches you, arms automatically spreading out for a hug which you are more than happy to return.

“You look absolutely beautiful tonight! Like, wow, I can’t even believe it,” he praises, practically gawking at you but it doesn’t make you uncomfortable; if anything, it’s flattering.

“You look very handsome as well!” you compliment back, being 100% truthful.

“So my name is Hoseok, and if I’m right, I’m the first one here?”

“You would be correct,” you flirt back.

“Well then, I guess it’s only appropriate that we break these bad boys out,” he states, handing you one of the black sticks.

“What is this?” you ask, turning the stick around curiously in your hands.

“I think it’s time that we get the party started!” he exclaims, before pushing at the bottom of his stick. A loud pop sound came from the stick as confetti flew all over the two of you. You screech a bit, both in shock and out of giddiness.

“I guess it’s my turn now?” you giggle, pushing at the bottom of your stick as the other party popper explodes, numerous colors of shimmery paper flying around the two of you.

Letting out cheers of awe at the colors around you, you turn back to face Hoseok, your cheeks hurting already from smiling so much.

“That was definitely a good way to get the party started!” you cheer. “It was so nice getting to meet you Hoseok, I’ll definitely find you inside later!”

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” he smiles, going in for another hug that you gladly accept.

He gives you one last dazzling smile before turning and walking back into the mansion.

You watch him as he walks away, admiring the fit of his suit and thinking about what an amazing first meeting you had.

‘If the rest are like him, I’m screwed,’ you thought to yourself before turning back around.

The staff quickly came by and sweeped up the rest of the confetti before the next man stepped out of the limo.

The second man was tall and named Johnny, with wavy brown hair and a sweet smile.

The man after him had with milky white skin and surprisingly dyed mint green hair. 

He seemed really shy when he told you that his name was Yoongi, and that he looked forward to getting to know you more. 

He had quite the mysterious aura about him, which intrigued you. You made a mental note to try to break him out of his shell tonight during the cocktail party.

Three more men followed out of the limo, going by the names of Jeonghan, Joshua, and Hyungwon.

Jeonghan had a cute smile and laugh, Joshua had pink dyed hair with flustered red cheeks, and Hyungwon was tall and lanky with full lips.

Expecting a limo to pull up after Hyungwon entered the house, you are surprised when you instead heard the sound of a high pitched horn.

Looking towards the gate, you saw a man riding in on a bright pink electric scooter, scarily similar to a Jet X from your favorite childhood show, Zoey 101.

“Oh my gosh!” You exclaimed, laughter pouring out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

He pulls up to a stop right in front of you, taking off his helmet and shaking his hair out.

“Are you ready?” he asks in a high pitched voice.

You’re cracking up at this point, but manage to utter out an, “Ooh!” to finish off the intro he had started.

The man walks up to you and embraces you in a light hug before grabbing your hands in his. His boxy smile is taking over his face as he begins to speak.

“So, I heard through the grapevine that you loved Zoey 101 as a kid, and I know you see me standing here, and I just had to let you know that you look good, my dear,” he says, theme song puns dropping from his tongue. It’s almost cringey, but he manages to pull it off.

“Well, I would love for you to see my world if it means I get to take a spin on this Jet X later,” you chuckle.

“That can definitely be arranged. My name is Taehyung, by the way.”

You almost miss his name, finally getting a good look at his face without being overtaken by laughter from the theme of his entrance.

His dark brown hair fell into his eyes a little, hitting the tops of his long eyelashes. He wasn’t wearing a tie, but he didn’t seem like he really needed one to look formal.

“It is very nice to meet you Taehyung,” you say, gripping his hands a bit tighter before he lets go.

“I hope to get to talk to you more inside later, maybe over some Blix and Sushi Rox,” he smiles.

“I would really like that.”

As he walks into the house, you follow him with your eyes. He turns around before entering the house and sings out, “Yeaaaah, yeah, yeaaaaah!” which makes you laugh as hard as it did the first time.

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face as the next limo pops up, greeting you with five more attractive suitors.

Mingyu was tall with a lean figure and light brown hair.

Wonho had soft eyes and his suit was threatening to burst at the seams from how muscular he was.

Jimin was small in stature but had a sweet smile that turned his eyes into crescent moons.

Jaehyun had a long nose and dimples.

Kihyun was adorable and just kept repeating how nervous he was, which was more endearing than off-putting.

As soon as the empty limo turned back onto the street, you heard wheels rolling against the driveway, signaling a new arrival. This time it was not a limo yet again.

A blur of a dark green suit jacket and black trousers passes your vision as the man rides a skateboard around on the stone driveway.

Your nerves are a bit on edge watching him, since the pavement was so uneven and he could fall at any moment.

The man does a few flip tricks on the skateboard, which would impress you if you weren’t so worried for his safety.

He does one final trick, flipping into a handstand on his skateboard, before flipping forward and landing right in front of you.

“Wow!” you exclaim because you really are at a loss for words.

“I’m Jooheon, nice to meet you,” he smiles, leaning in and wrapping his arms around you lightly.

“It’s nice to meet you too… wow I’m sorry, I’m still in shock from that entrance,” you stuttered out.

He chuckled. “I’ve been skateboarding since I was ten, it’s just a hobby but I figured it’d make a cool entrance.”

“Well, it was definitely cool, I was so worried you would fall though!” you laughed even though it wasn’t that funny.

“I honestly was worried too! I promise I’ll stick to my feet for the rest of the night.”

“I think that’s for the best,” you laugh.

The next few guys were strange and quirky in their own sense too.

The first man to step out of the next limousine, Namjoon, was adorable in every sense. He had the deepest dimples you had ever seen and tripped on his way up.

You felt bad for trying to contain a laugh, but he immediately began laughing at himself, stating that stuff like that happens to him all of the time. His clutziness was charming.

The next man, Seungcheol, came out with something that resembled a large egg in his arm.

You were hoping that it was something other than an egg, but you were proven wrong when he explained that he wants to be able to take care of you and be a good husband and future father.

To prove this, he would take care of the ostrich egg in his arms for the entire time he is in the competition.

You wanted to be polite, but you were a bit creeped out.

Thankfully, the next few guys were more normal.

Seokjin was the definition of handsome, with broad shoulders and thick lips.

Changkyun had one of the deepest voices you had ever heard and a somewhat serious aura to him.

Wonwoo had narrow, sultry eyes but a contradicting pleasant smile.

Taeyong looked like he was straight out of an anime with sharp features but a soft presence.

With the weird things that had happened so far that night, you shouldn’t have been surprised that someone showed up in a costume. That still didn’t stop the laughter from the surprise that came from seeing a man hop up the driveway in a gigantic grey bunny suit.

“Y/N!!!” he yells from the foot of the driveway as you continue to rumble in laughter at the sight.

Stepping in front of you, he grabs your hands with his fur covered ones.

“So, my name is Jeongguk, I’ve been told by my friends that I look like a bunny and I’m hoping to hop my way into your heart.”

You want to cringe at how bad that line was, but the red on his cheeks and his big doe eyes made you change your comment to, “Well, we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”

The final limousine pulls up after Jeongguk enters the mansion, and you ready yourself for the last group of guys to exit the limousine.

The first man, Hyunwoo, had soft features and was very reserved, but sweet nonetheless.

Minhyuk was a big ball of sunshine and his nose scrunched a bit when he smiled.

Seokmin had the brightest smile you had ever seen on someone and you felt immediately comfortable in his presence.

Taeil had a soothing voice and fluffy hair that you just wanted to run your hands through.

As Taeil walked through the door, you thought that all of the guys had arrived. However, your producers proved you wrong when they asked you to stand back a bit on the driveway, closer to the house so the final man could make his arrival.

You were confused, but soon felt the wind pick up around you. Staring up into the night sky, you see the outline of a helicopter as it begins to descend down towards you.

“Oh my gosh!” you scream over the loud sound of the rotor blades. A guy was actually making an entrance on a helicopter?!

You can see some of the other guys in the house peeking out through the fence and even through the front door, observing the source of the loud noises outside.

Once the helicopter touches down and the blades slow to a stop, a man steps out of the rotorcraft. He is clad in black from head to toe, down to his black hair that is gelled back away from his face. He buttons his suit jacket before beginning to walk towards you.

“Figured that we had better save the best for last,” he starts, a quirky smile appearing on his face. “Hi, I’m Soonyoung.”

He envelopes you in a hug before leaning back.

“Well, that was definitely extravagant, Soonyoung,” you chortle.

“The view from up there was amazing, but I think the view I have right here in front of me is better,” he flirts.

You blush a bit, simply replying back, “Very smooth.”

After Soonyoung enters the house, you take a minute with your producers to touch up your hair and makeup, eat a granola bar, and stick a mint in your mouth.

With a full stomach and a fresh coat of lipstick, you enter the house to begin the first of many conversations throughout the night.

Once you arrive in the house, all of the men are ushered into the dining room for the official season photo.

They are lined up in three rows, with you being in the very bottom row in the middle. After about thirty minutes of taking photos and touching up, you make your official on-camera walk out to greet all of the men.

Entering the living room, all of they immediately start applauding you, all standing up from their seats and moving a bit closer.

You blush at the sudden onslaught of attention your way, but had to remind yourself that you would probably have to get used to it.

Namjoon approaches your side, holding out a glass of white wine. You thank him and grasp the stem of the glass between your fingers before turning to the rest of the room.

“Thank you all for being here tonight, I’m so happy to have met all of you, and I hope to get to know you all more throughout the night,” you pause a second, raising your glass. “So, here’s to a great first night, and to a great season, and to finding love!”

The men cheer at that as all of you taking sips from your glasses varying in liquors and spirits.

You feel a tap on your shoulder, turning to see Seokmin’s smiling face.

“Mind if I steal you for a bit?” he asks.

“Of course you can,” you respond, preparing yourself for a long night full of many, many conversations.

A few people into the night, you’re walking on the patio after finishing up conversation with Jeongguk - who had taken off his bunny costume once he got in the house and was instead wearing a maroon and black striped suit with a maroon button up shirt.

Immediately after he enters the living room through the large french doors, Jaehyun is taking you back to a sofa on the patio for his conversation of the night.

“So Jaehyun, what do you do for a living?” you ask, figuring it was a good starting point.

“I’m a realtor in Seoul,” he explains. “I’m normally situated near Gangnam.”

“Oh, that’s not too far from here, is it? Did you not have to travel far to be here?”

“Not really, I work a lot from home too. It’s nice when you make enough of a living that you don’t need to really work full-time.”

Something about his mention of his wealth was a bit off putting, but you brushed it off as him being proud of his success. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your work.

You should know, you could talk about your relationships with some of your patients for hours.

“Although, it’s actually pretty funny. The other week, your ex contacted my company for a realtor because he wanted to buy an apartment somewhere. They sent me out there, and when I saw it was him and that girl he picked over you, I could immediately tell that he had awful taste because the girl he picked was definitely not as pretty and nice as you.”

That rubbed you the wrong way. Even though you know you and Nayeon will never be friends, hearing her being talked down on by someone that doesn’t really know her doesn’t sit well with you.

“Nayeon’s actually really nice, I never had a problem with her, even now,” you assert defensively.

“Okay, well, I’m just saying, I think I got the better end of the deal” Jaehyun shrugs.

That was the final straw for you. You were so consumed by rage for this arrogant man, you don’t even think you could wait for the rose ceremony to send him home.

However, for the sake of not wanting to seem like a psycho bachelorette on the first night of the show, you withheld from screaming at him to get the hell out.

“You can think whatever you want, even if it’s rude and arrogant,” you chime back at him, standing up. “I need to go to the restroom. Thank you for speaking with me. It was really eye opening.”

You stand up, abandoning your now empty glass of wine behind with Jaehyun as you enter the house and head straight towards the restroom.

The cameramen are right on your trail, having caught the entire exchange on camera.

You locked the door behind you, effectively shutting out the cameras before slumping against the door. Resisting the urge to run your hands over your face, you take a minute to collect yourself.

Being reminded of Jay was not something that you wanted to happen tonight.

Of course, maybe a subtle comment here and there could be expected, but when Jaehyun came right out and insulted not just Jay but Nayeon as well, you were shocked and really upset that he would do such a thing.

Exiting the bathroom, you begin to make your way back to the living room to find another man to talk to. A hand lightly grabs your arm on your way back, letting go when you turn to look at him.

Taehyung gives you a sheepish smile. “Can I steal you for a bit?”

You breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of him. “Depends, am I going to get a ride on that Jet X now?”

His deep voice lets out a breathy laugh. “Not tonight, but I do have something else planned I think you’ll like.”

“Then lead the way,” you hold your hand out to him, allowing him to clasp it in his own as you make your way out to a different part of the patio.

It’s more secluded than the previous place you had been conversing, with a loveseat rather than a couch as the choice of seating. You know that the cameramen are following you without even looking.

“You looked a bit down earlier, are you okay? Are you just feeling tired? I know it’s been a long night and it’s not even halfway over yet,” he chuckles, adding some lighthearted humor to his concern.

“I wouldn’t say I’m tired per say, however I will be sleeping very well at the end of the night,” you smile. “Just a little off put by some people here is all.”

“I hope I’m not one of them.”

“No, Taehyung, you’re not,” you assure him, placing your hand on his knee.

“Well that’s good, because I actually wrote something for you.”

He reaches behind the loveseat, pulling out an acoustic guitar. How he managed to hide that without you seeing is beyond you, but it brings a smile to your face.

“I wrote this a few days ago when I was supposed to be packing,” he says quietly. “It’s not finished, but I hope you like it.”

He tunes a few of the strings before he begins to strum different chords. When he opens his mouth to begin singing, your mouth drops open a bit.

His voice sounds like silk, or milk chocolate, or something else that is comforting that you can’t think of.

The extremely deep tone in his voice brings a calming sense over you.

He manages to hit high notes with little problem, impressing you even further.

You find yourself wishing he had prepared more of the song when he strums his last chord, just so you could listen a bit longer.

“You really wrote that, Taehyung?”

He blushes. “Yeah. I’m a music producer so it’s like second nature to me to write about what I’m feeling. I was excited but nervous to begin this journey, you know? I also saw on TV how pretty and genuine and sweet you were, and I really wanted to make a good impression on you.”

You smile sweetly at him. “I think you’re doing a great job at that.”

Mingyu comes over at that time, asking if he can have some time to chat with you.

You of course can’t say no, as much as you wish you had more time to talk with Taehyung.

You both stand up, giving him a hug as he heads back into the house. Mingyu takes a seat next to you, and you try to focus your attention back on him.

“So my team’s research is basically on how certain particles in the atmosphere interact with each other in different climates that they may not normally be found in. With all of the issues with global warming and pollution, it’s really cool and important because-”

Jeonghan had sat down across from you about two minutes ago, and in that time you’ve found out that he is currently getting his Master’s Degree in agricultural and biological engineering.

He was a research assistant in a lab at the local university. You were a little lost on what he was talking about, because even though you had to take numerous science classes when getting your nursing degree, you never enjoyed that part of it. 

You preferred the clinical rounds and the on-hand experience rather than taking microbiology or anatomy and physiology.

“Hey man, mind if I steal her for a bit?”

You look up to see Taeil standing over the pair of you, Jeonghan’s rambling about his research coming to a halt.

“I literally just sat down.”

“I know, I was just wondering if I could have some time to talk to Y/N.”

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes a bit at Taeil before admitting defeat and standing up.

“It was great getting to talk to you, Y/N, no matter how short our time was,” Jeonghan says, shooting a glare at Taeil as he walks away and Taeil takes his spot.

Trying to find the right time to interrupt a conversation is always uncomfortable, no matter what side you are on. You feel for Jeonghan, but you are also a bit thankful for Taeil swooping in and interrupting.

That is, until he begins talking as well.

As soon as you find out he’s an attorney, you have to refrain from rolling your eyes.

Your uncle is an attorney, and whenever he’s not working (which is rare) he is always talking down on you, thinking he’s better because he is certified to be a professional arguer.

You haven’t had the greatest of experiences with them in the past, but you wanted to give Taeil the benefit of the doubt.

However, after conversing with him for a solid ten minutes, and him asking you to expand on your answers at least three times, you felt like your head was about to explode.

Thankfully, another man came by right when you were about to excuse yourself. 

You breathed a sigh of relief when looking upon the face of Seokjin.

Taeil thanked you for speaking with him before he got up and Seokjin took his place.

“So how’s your night been?” he asks, taking a sip of his red wine.

Gulping down a sip of your own white wine spritzer, you nod at him while replying with, “It’s been good! I’ve had a lot of great conversations.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed you’ve had a lot of conversations. Have you been able to eat anything yet?” he asks, concern laced across his features.

“I had a granola bar before I came in the house a while ago, but I’ll be okay until the end of the night,” you assure him.

He clicks his tongue at you. “You need to take care of yourself. They have all of this food catered for us in the kitchen, yet the beautiful woman we’re all here for gets nothing? I just don’t understand. That’s why I brought you this.”

It’s then that you notice the plate of food in his hand. It’s mostly desserts; two brownies, some chocolate covered strawberries, and a rice krispie treat.

Your mouth salivates a bit and your stomach lets out an embarrassing grumble of hunger at the sight.

You widen your eyes at him, being caught in your fib.

(A/N: CAUGHT IN A LIIIIIIEEEEEEEE)

He pushes the plate into your lap, and you accept it gratefully. “You’re a lifesaver, Seokjin. Thank you.”

It was really sweet of Seokjin to bring you a plate of food, even though he could have easily forgone it. It shows that he does genuinely care about your well being and making sure that you are well fed and not just surviving the night on wine spritzers and a granola bar.

“Any time. I couldn’t let all of the men pig out while you sat out here starving until morning.”

“I’ll only eat some if you have a brownie too, and tell me some more about yourself,” you offer.

“Deal. What would you like to know?” he asks before taking a bite out of one of the brownies on the plate.

Your chat ensued from there, the topic of his profession as a physical therapist and yours as a nurse paving the way for a good conversation. One that was cut short once again as Taeyong came to begin his conversation with you.

“Thank you again for the food, it was delicious, and I really appreciate it,” you say, standing up with Seokjin.

“Like I said before, any time. I enjoyed our conversation.”

You and Seokjin embrace in a lingering hug before he walks away, and Taeyong is grabbing your hand to walk with you to another place to chat.

Thankfully, there were only a handful of guys to talk to after your conversation with Taeyong.

That still didn’t mean much, considering it was nearly 1:00 in the morning and you still had to do your interviews and figure out who to send home during the rose ceremony.

Another thing on your mind was who to give the first impression rose to.

Sitting in one of the lounges with your producers, you snack on some carrot sticks while sorting through all of the photos of your suitors.

If anyone caught this on tape and it was shown on TV, no doubt the fans would get mad.

How were you, in all seriousness, really supposed to remember the names of twenty five people that you just met that day?

That’s like asking to memorize the names and faces of every member of Twice, Girls Generation, and Apink in one day. It’s impossible.

“Anyone in particular make a bad impression that you want to send home?” Chan asks.

“A few of them, actually. Which surprises me, I figured it’d be harder to try to figure out who to send home. There were a few who were rude or I just didn’t feel a connection with, I feel like this elimination is going to be the easiest,” you admit.

“That’s how it normally is. The smaller the pool and the more the relationships grow, the harder it gets.”

Setting aside the pile of those you would send home tonight, you turn back to your pile of those you want to stay.

“Now, who to give the first impression rose to is hard. A lot of them made great conversation, and a lot of them had great entrances. Soonyoung came in on a helicopter, I’m pretty sure that made a big first impression.” Chan laughs at that. 

“However, Kihyun made me laugh so hard I nearly had wine coming out of my nose, and Johnny and I had a deep conversation for it only being the first night. I could honestly give it to either of them.”

“What about Seokjin? Didn’t he bring you food halfway through the night? That was really sweet of him, and actually normal compared to some of the weird shit the other guys pulled” Chan questions.

You laugh at that, remembering how Minhyuk had brought an electronic massager to use on your back that just tickled you instead.

And how Joshua had attempted to juggle three bottles of water and ended up spilling all over himself and the couch.

“Yeah he did,” you respond, scanning the pictures and landing on Seokjin’s.

His shoulders are so broad that they had to zoom the camera out a bit on his picture, making a small smile appear on your face.

Your eyes continue to wander through the headshots, before lingering on a specific one.

You glanced at Chan through your peripherals, glancing at this man’s headshot. 

You don’t even try to contain your smile as you reminisce on his humor and quirkiness and his handsome smile.

“I know who to give the rose to.”

Stepping out of the lounge, you make your way into the living room.

Most of the men are congregated in different areas of the room; some on the couch, others in chairs, some lingering in the door frames.

All eyes turn to you as you enter the room, those in the hallways coming to stand in the living room. Everyone looks thoroughly tired, being that it’s nearly 2 in the morning by the time you did your interviews and made your decisions.

You reach toward the single rose that is sitting on a tray in the middle of the coffee table.

You remember being on their side not too long ago; having that rose stare at you, almost tauntingly, for hours on end as you sat through the first night, wondering if you would be the one that got the rose.

First impressions mean a lot, and most that receive the first impression rose stay until at least the final four.

Whispers break out among the men as you fumble with the rose between your fingers.

“It’s a big moment! You hear Joshua say to Hyungwon on your side.

“Indeed it is!” you respond, making them laugh at the embarrassment of being heard.

Taking a deep breath, you lock eyes with him and shyly ask, “Taehyung, can you come with me for a second?”

His eyes widen in surprise for a moment, before a ginormous smile makes its way onto Taehyung’s face as he stands up. “Of course.”

You grab onto his hand as he approaches you, turning around and walking to a more secluded area of the house.

You can already hear the sighs of disappointment and side comments begin to stir up in the living room from the response of your decision. You tune out the background noise and lead him to the parlour, sitting in front of the fireplace.

You look at him, blushing when you realize his smile hasn’t faded.

“So, Taehyung,” you begin.

“Tonight started off by you coming in on my dream vehicle, a hot pink Jet X, just like my childhood idol, Zoey Brooks.” you both laugh at that.

“The fact that you took the time to look into the things I like just to make a grand entrance already meant a lot. Then you catch me right after a not-so-great conversation and manage to make my mood do a complete 180 just from a smile. That song that you sang tonight was absolutely beautiful, I never wanted to stop listening to it. I loved every second I spent with you tonight, and I never felt a lull in conversation at any point. You made me feel completely comfortable from the moment we met. So, Taehyung, will you accept this rose?”

Taehyung’s eyes squeeze shut in happiness, opening them back up and saying, “Yes! Absolutely!” with uncontained laughs leaving his mouth.

You both stand up, smiles adorning your faces, as you pin the red rose to his right lapel on his suit jacket.

“It looks good on you,” you flirt, tilting the rose a bit before reaching your arms around his neck in a hug.

He wraps his arms around your waist so tight you think you might snap.

You decided to be bold and kiss his cheek when you pull back, only he had the same idea and ended up kissing your cheek as well. You both release a string of giggles.

“Great minds think alike,” Taehyung proclaims.

“Let’s see if that’s true now,” you softly speak back, leaning your head in towards his.

He meets you halfway down, his lips placing themselves on yours gently, as if asking if what he is doing is okay.

You pull back briefly, only to move back in for another kiss.

This time, Taehyung is less hesitant, placing his lips more firmly against yours for a few seconds.

His lips felt as soft as they looked; the taste of Coca-Cola on his lips surprises you, since you could have sworn he had been drinking bourbon that night.

You peck his lips one last time before pulling away from him and out of his arms. “I thought you drank bourbon tonight?” you asked, grabbing his hand and walking out with him.

“I had a drink, yeah. I’m not big on alcohol though, so I switched to soda after one glass. I’m also a major lightweight, and I didn’t feel like making a fool out of myself tonight of all nights.”

You smile at him, stopping right outside of the frame to the living room.

“Thank you for the rose, I swear I haven’t been this happy in a long time,” Taehyung admits.

“Thank you for accepting it,” you counter. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

You squeeze his hands one last time before walking back into the lounge where your producers were working.

Two hours later, the men and yourself had all finished being interviewed. It was officially time for the first rose ceremony.

Four in the morning is a strange time for anyone to be awake.

You are quite used to the late nights from work, but it’s clear that most of these men aren’t.

A majority of them you caught dozing off from the TVs in your lounge, showing what the cameras walking around were filming.

Next to you, the grand host Mr. Bang himself was knocked out, and had been for about an hour or so. Chan walked into the room after setting the dining room up into a good set-up for the rose ceremony.

“Alright Y/N, I’m going to gather the men in the dining room for the rose ceremony. We’re going to line them up, start filming, then have you walk back in to start the rose ceremony. Then we can all go home, sound good to you?”

“That sounds excellent,” you sigh, nudging Mr. Bang in the side.

“C’mon Bang, you have to be the hostess with the mostess for a bit longer, then I promise you can resume your slumber.”

He awoke from his nap, stretching a bit before one of the makeup artists came by and swiped some more concealer under his eyes for the sake of the cameras.

“Alright, I’m ready to be the hostess with the mostess. Even though I’m not a hostess.” You laugh at his ridiculousness, following him out of the lounge.

Bang walks into the dining room, taking his place by the table that holds eighteen roses on a tray. You would be sending home six men tonight. With Taehyung already having a rose, that leaves eighteen more to give out.

You thank your producer for having you practice how to pin the roses beforehand, it would definitely make the whole process go a lot faster and be a lot less painful for both parties.

Chan is next to you, waiting for your cue from the cameraman in the other room. Once he receives the signal, he pushes you forward a bit.

Your silver heels hitting the tile floor are pretty much the only sound in the room. You can tell that everyone is nervous, and honestly, you are a bit too.

You stand next to the rose table, glancing down at the multitude of roses being served literally on a silver platter. Bang is next to you, speaking to the gentlemen.

“Gentlemen, good evening, and welcome to your first rose ceremony. Most of you know how this goes, but for those that don’t, I’ll lay it out for you all. If you hear your name called, step forward to accept a rose. Taehyung, you got the first impression rose; congratulations, you have nothing to worry about tonight. As for the rest of you, if you do not hear your name, you will be sent home immediately. So, I wish you all the best, and if you’re ready, Y/N, you may begin.”

Bang backs up towards the door, merely an onlooker as you begin the process of handing out the roses.

You look at the faces of all of the men standing before you. Taking a step forward away from the table, you suddenly feel a lot more weight on your shoulders than you did ten minutes ago.

You clear your throat before speaking.

“First of all, I’d like to thank all of you for being here tonight. I know I kept saying it throughout the night but I cannot stress enough how much it means to me that you all took the time and sacrificed things to be here. It was such a great night, but this is the hard part where I have to say goodbye. Even though I have to say goodbye to some of you tonight, I am still hopeful that I can find love on this journey and I’m so thankful for that.”

Pausing after your speech, you take a look down at the platter again, grabbing a rose this time.

You fumble around with it in your hands, looking up at the men before beginning the process of handing out roses.

“Hoseok.”

He smiles from his spot on the far left end of the second row, stepping out and making the short walk towards you.

“Hoseok, will you accept this rose?”

“Always.”

(A/N: my Potterhead heart is hurting) 

Smiling, you pin the rose to the lapel of his jacket, hugging him before he turns to walk back to his spot.

Picking up the next rose, you call out Yoongi’s name.

A small smile graces his face as you pin the rose to his lapel, hugging him and continuing the process for a handful more boys, including klutzy Namjoon, skateboarding Jooheon, and even ostrich egg owner Seungcheol.

It is now down to the last rose, and there are seven men left: Jaehyun, Jeonghan, Taeil, Hyunwoo, Minhyuk, Joshua, and Jeongguk.

Bang steps out from the shadows of the room as you stare at the final rose.

“Gentlemen, this is the final rose this evening. If your name is not called, you will be going home,” he turns to you. “Whenever you’re ready, Y/N.”

You grab onto the rose, before looking back up at the group of men remaining.

You had been between two people all night, feeling a good connection with both but knowing that one needed to go home. You stared back and forth discreetly between the two of them, before settling on one and calling out his name.

“Jeongguk.”

You see him let out a breath of relief as he steps down a level to make his way over to you.

“Jeongguk, will you accept this rose?”

“Yes, I will,” he smiles.

Pinning the rose onto his jacket, you whisper to him, “Thank you for not making me attempt to pin this onto a bunny suit.”

He giggles at you before leaning in for a quick hug. Now back in his spot, Bang comes forward again.

“Gentlemen, I’m sorry, but if your name wasn’t called, please say your goodbyes.”

The men continued to do the standard bro high-five, some men hug, some shake hands as you watch from your spot at the front of the room.

One by one, each man makes his way to you to hug you goodbye, wishing you the best and thanking you for the opportunity.

You never understood why the people leaving always thanked the Bachelor/Bachelorette for the opportunity - you’re not the one who casted them.

Still, you accepted their gratitude and sent them on their way.

By the time the rose ceremony has wrapped up, the sun is beginning to peak over the horizon, signaling the start of a new day and the end of your own.

The staff brings in flutes of mimosas, everyone grabbing one then turning to look at you.

“So here’s to surviving the first night, for making amazing impressions and for continuing the search for love,” you drawl out. “Cheers!”

“Cheers!” everyone yells out, clinking glasses and sipping on their breakfast cocktail.

‘One week down, nine to go,’ you think to yourself. Your journey has only just begun.

Week 1 Callout Order Results:

Kim, Taehyung (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Music Producer, Hometown: Daegu)

Jung, Hoseok (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Journalist, Hometown: Gwangju)

Min, Yoongi (aged 29, 5’ 8.5”, Professional Pianist, Hometown: Daegu)

Kim, Mingyu (aged 24/25, 6’ 2”, Chiropractor, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Taeyong (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Sales Account Executive, Hometown: Seoul)

Chae, Hyungwon (aged 28, 5’ 11”, College Professor, Hometown: Gwangju)

Kim, Namjoon (aged 27, 5’ 11”, Pharmacy Technician, Hometown: Ilsan)

Choi, Seungcheol (aged 26, 5’ 10”, IT Consultant, Hometown: Daegu)

Jeon, Wonwoo (aged 25, 6’ 0”, Software Engineer, Hometown: Gyeongsangnam-do)

Lee, Jooheon (aged 27, 5’ 10”, Graphic Designer, Hometown: Seoul)

Yoo, Kihyun (aged 28, 5’ 9”, Dental Assistant, Hometown: Ilsan)

Kim, Seokjin (aged 29, 5’ 10.5”, Physical Therapist, Hometown: Gwacheon)

Park, Jimin (aged 26, 5’ 8.5”, Social Media Coordinator, Hometown: Busan)

Seo, Johnny (aged 27, 6’ 0”, Translator, Hometown: Chicago)

Lee, Seokmin (aged 25, 5’ 10.5”, Creative Director, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Kwon, Soonyoung (aged 25, 5’ 10”, Executive Assistant, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Shin, Hoseok (Wonho) (aged 30, 5’ 10”, Fitness Coach, Hometown: Anyang)

Im, Changkyun (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Marketing Consultant, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jeon, Jeongguk (aged 24, 5’ 10”, Wedding Videographer, Hometown: Busan)

Hong, Joshua (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Pastry Chef, Hometown: Los Angeles)

Jung, Jaehyun (aged 25, 5’ 11”, Realtor, Hometown: Seoul)

Lee, Minhyuk (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Sales Rep, Hometown: Gwangju)

Moon, Taeil (aged 27, 5’ 7”, Attorney, Hometown: Seoul)

Sohn, Hyunwoo (aged 29, 5’ 11”, Mechanic, Hometown: Changdong)

     “Why are you looking at me like that?” The question comes out quiet and shy, despite the fact that the two of you have been together for several months now. He still makes you nervous sometimes, especially when you go out on dates that you spend hours on end choosing an outfit for and he looks at you like that. Namjoon’s grin widens at your self-conscious nature.      “You’re pretty.” It’s meant only for you to hear, his words just barely loud enough to grace your ears, well-hidden from the curious eyes and ears of the people around you. The flush that rises on your cheeks isn't from the cold this time and you bury your face into his side in embarrassment, a soft thank you on your lips.      A voice somewhere on your right asks a question that you can’t quite focus on but it’s okay because Namjoon answers with, “Yes, I have a reservation for two under the last name Kim.” The host leads you further into the restaurant- it’s a place that’s a bit upscale for your liking, though Namjoon insists on taking you there occasionally on ‘adult’ dates- which really just means you both order expensive wine with expensive dinner.      The food comes and the empty plates go in courses, all the while deep, rich, red wine is constantly flowing from bottle to glass. Somewhere in between, he catches you staring. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He usually doesn’t ask, only teases you about it or stares back jokingly.      But tonight is different. Tonight, your cheeks are rosy again, this time because the wine was a little too strong and you didn't eat enough of the breadsticks to help absorb the alcohol and for God’s sakes, your head is in the clouds and—      “I love you.”

—

     Namjoon feels warm. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the fact that you just told him you love him with a beautiful smile and no hesitation, eyes sparkling like sunlight on the ocean. He determines that it must be the latter because he’s looking at you and his reply comes out in a rushed exhale before he can stop himself. “I love you too.”      The rest of the world fades away. His mind and heart are racing at ridiculous speeds but the only thing he can focus on is you- your beautiful eyes and the way your lips curl up into the biggest smile when you realize he really means it. There’s an air of shyness that breaks through the haze of alcohol and you tear your eyes away from him.      You glance at the half-eaten food from the final course and then at the empty wine bottle. “Can we go get ice cream?” He laughs at the hopeful glint in your eye and nods, signaling for the bill.

Lady Yang's two sons were indeed handsome, but they were also a bunch of idiots. As he washed their laundry the morning of the ball, Namjoon took a moment of silence for the princess and anyone else who would have to endure those two tonight. He spent the previous night collecting shoes, jewelry, and other fine things Lady Yang's sons had rush-ordered from the market. And now today, he was expected to wait on them. If you can believe it, those two still hadn't decided on what they were going to wear for the ball.

Namjoon ruined a shirt of Jungkook's accidentally while daydreaming about the ball. He lifted the now-pink shirt up and cursed himself. Jungkook was fond of his white shirts. When he came into Jungkook and Taehyung's shared room to put away their folded laundry, he sheepishly presented his mistake.

“Of course I can't expect you to do anything right. Why hasn't Mother fired you by now?” Jungkook snapped. He looked at Namjoon for a moment and then said, “Well, what are you standing around for? I don't want it anymore. You can throw it away. And hurry up. Taehyung's skinny bottom needs a belt.”

“Any preference?” Namjoon replied, looking down at the pink shirt he was folding in his hands.

“No, just bring the whole set. I might wear one too.”

Namjoon left the shirt in his room and brought out every belt Jungkook and Taehyung owned. At their orders, he also brought in the items he retrieved last night.

“I don't know,” Taehyung said, looking at the array of necklaces he spread out on his bed. “The one with emeralds is the fanciest one, but I feel the sapphire pendant brings out my eyes. What do you think, Jungkook?”

Jungkook, who was admiring his legs in the mirror, turned around. “Did you decide on the green velvet jacket?”

“Nah, the purple one.”

“The purple one?”

“It's water-resistant.”

“Why do you need a water-resistant jacket?”

“In case it rains.”

“Wouldn't the rest of you get soaked anyway?”

“Oh. Right...Well, it'll make me look royal.”

“Looking like a royal won't make you a royal, Taehyung.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe the princess would see how good I look in the nation's color and make me crown prince.”

“Whatever. Wear the topaz necklace.”

“Topaz???” Taehyung exclaimed, scandalized by the idea.

“To match your stupid hair, idiot!”

“Whose hair are you calling stupid, Mr. I've-had-the-same-tacky-hairstyle-since-the-dinosaur-age?!”

Jungkook and Taehyung went back and forth, criticizing each other's outfits, hair, faces, and eventually, stupid things they've done in the past. Which was a lot. Namjoon quietly listened as he sewed some buttons on a jacket Jungkook was considering wearing.

“If the princess ever heard about you running around practically naked in public because you tried to light fireworks and instead set your clothes on fire, she would never marry you,” Taehyung retorted to a fuming Jungkook. Right before Jungkook could spit something back at him, Namjoon spoke up.

“You guys really like her, huh?”

“What?” Jungkook and Taehyung chimed back.

“The princess.”

“What are you talking about?” Taehyung asked.

“Well, you two want to marry her, right?”

“Obviously,” Jungkook snorted.

“So you two must really like her. I know you've met her in the past,” Namjoon said, recalling a time the two and their mother attended a banquet at the castle. “She must have left a big impression on you two for you to be fighting over her like this.”

At this, the boys broke out laughing. Namjoon raised an eyebrow.

“Man, are you dense?” Jungkook asked, still laughing. “We're not interested in the princess for her personality or...whatever.”

Namjoon was confused. “Then why do you want to marry her?”

“She's rich, dude,” Taehyung piped.

Namjoon was even more confused. “So...not for love?”

Jungkook laughed, “Hell no. Can you imagine the life her husband would live? Hundreds of servants waiting on you. Endless fortunes to buy luxurious clothes, quality entertainment, and banquets by the best chefs in the kingdom. And never having to work a day in your life!”

“If you marry the princess, you'd be crown prince, meaning you'd eventually be king. You'd have a whole kingdom to look after,” Namjoon pointed out.

“The king's advisers can take care of that,” Taehyung said contently.

Namjoon blanched. Because it really just hit him. These were the princess's suitors? The possible candidates to be the nation's future king? And how could anyone marry without love, anyway? The thought appalled him.

“You know, I think I will go with the topaz necklace,” Taehyung said, picking it up to catch the light. “I heard topazes keep away rain.”

Namjoon held a silent prayer for the future of his kingdom.

Well, the carriage was finally fixed after Namjoon spent the rest of the day working on it, just in time for Lady Yang and her sons to rush off to the ball. Taehyung was going crazy at the possibility of it raining and ruining his hair and outfit, so much that Namjoon packed three umbrellas into the carriage in order to alleviate his worries.

Taehyung pinched Namjoon's cheek before climbing in the carriage.

“Good work,” he cooed.

Namjoon rubbed his cheek as he watched the others get in. Before the footman closed the door, Lady Yang said to him, “Remember to prepare the dessert for tomorrow and you didn't get to cleaning the fireplace so I want that done tonight as well. I expect we'll be back very late.”

With that, she closed the door herself and signaled the driver. Namjoon watched the carriage drive away. Namjoon sighed to himself. Even if he were to somehow get his chores done in time to at least arrive in the middle of the ball, he had nothing to wear. He was very tall, so Jungkook and Taehyung's clothes wouldn't fit him if he borrowed them for the night. And besides, how would he even get to the castle? These were the thoughts that had penetrated his mind constantly throughout the day, but as much as he went over the possibilities, the fact was that there were none. There was no way he was going to the ball.

Defeated, Namjoon decided to make the dessert for tomorrow first and made his way to the pumpkin patch in the back.

Some pumpkin pie for tomorrow, Namjoon thought, his spirits rising only slightly at the imagined taste of the sweet pastry. He sawed at the plump pumpkin's stem with his knife when all of the sudden, boom! Something exploded some yards away. Namjoon jumped and dropped his knife. Clouds of pink smoke quickly filled the pumpkin patch and his lungs. He coughed out the smoke that smelled of bubblegum.

“Greetings, Namjoon!” A male voice called out. “You need not fear me. I come to your aid!”

Once the smoke cleared, Namjoon could see a man amongst the pumpkins in a ridiculously large and cotton-candy pink piece of clothing that looked like something a wizard would wear. He also held a silver wand.

“Speechless, I see. That's the problem of being devastatingly handsome,” the man said whilst flipping his hair. “Well, to come straight to the point, I'm your fairy godfather, Jin. I heard you wanted to go to the ball.”

Namjoon simply stared. “What are you wearing?”

“Well...” Jin started, looking very flattered until the criticism of Namjoon's words hit him.“Wait, what? What's wrong with my habit?”

“It's pink.”

“And?”

“You look like chewed gum.”

“Well, look who's talking!” Jin huffed. He took a deep breath to compose himself. “Look, Namjoon. I came here so that I could take you to the ball. Now we can stay here all night critiquing each other's outfits, or I can get you in some party clothes and a carriage to go to the ball.”

“Will the party clothes look like that?” Namjoon inquired, pointing at Jin's outfit. He saw fire in Jin's eyes. “Alright, alright. Sorry. Let's see what you can do then.”

Jin took another deep breath. “Okay, that's better.” He rolled up his sleeves and began waving his wand. “First, to get you some transportation.”

He looked around and then pointed his wand at a particularly large pumpkin. Namjoon couldn't believe it, but the pumpkin started growing bigger, bigger, and bigger. Its interior was changing to cushioned seats and curtained windows while its exterior grew wheels, a driver's seat, and sturdy walls. Right as Namjoon thought the pumpkin would burst, it stopped growing. Before him lay a pumpkin shaped carriage, as orange as ever.

“Yes, that will do nicely,” Jin nodded to himself. “And now some horses.”

Jin went on to make four horses, a driver, and a footman from some mice that were scurrying about. Then he turned to Namjoon, announcing that he will give him a change of clothes.

“Here goes nothing,” Namjoon muttered.

He closed his eyes and felt a tingling around his body. Then he felt a change of weight as the new clothes began to dress his body. Namjoon felt a slight elevation as his shoes changed from his worn out flat ones to new, somewhat uncomfortable ones. He opened his eyes.

He wore the softest white shirt he had ever felt, let alone wear, along with a closed, silky silver jacket with a standing collar and pearly buttons. He had on matching silver trousers, white gloves, and when Namjoon felt at his head, he could feel the velvety smoothness of his styled, sandy hair. Jin had cleaned him up nicely.

“Wow,” he said, looking up at Jin and stepping over some pumpkins to clasp his hand and give thanks. “I had no idea it would turn out- Wait, ow. What the-?”

Namjoon looked down at his aching feet and gave a look of surprise. On his feet were glass shoes! He could make out his silver socks through them. He looked at Jin in confusion.

“That's what you get for making fun of my pink habit earlier. Glass can be pretty uncomfortable, but on the plus side, it looks very fashionable,” Jin said smugly, crossing his arms.

Namjoon let out a nervous chuckle. “Um, they won't break, will they?”

Jin sighed. “How I wish you would stop doubting me. These are the sturdiest glass you'll find!”

“Okay, fine.” Namjoon brushed down his jacket and straightened himself. “Thank you, fairy godfather Jin. Honestly. I'm very thankful to be able to go to the ball now. How can I repay you?”

Jin waved him away. “Ah, nothing, Namjoon. This is what I do. Just have a great time and that'll be enough for me.” Jin looked behind him, squinting hard at the huge clock. “Ah! It's getting late! You must be off!”

He pushed Namjoon into the carriage and slammed the door shut, much to the surprise of the footman. He popped his head through the window. “Namjoon! One last thing! This carriage, the horses, your clothes and everything will only last till midnight. So unless you want to be stark naked in the middle of the ballroom, I suggest you be home by then!”

Jin made to get off the step of the carriage.

“Wait!” Namjoon called. “Do you think you could teach me some dance moves? Or zap me into a better dancer?”

Jin cackled. “You're on your own there, buddy.”

And with that, Namjoon was off to the ball.

By the time Namjoon arrived in the ballroom, the dance was well in its way. He looked around nervously, wanting to dance, but knowing no one here. Every suitable partner seemed to already have someone to dance with. He looked around for Lady Yang and her sons. Once spotting them, he made a mental note to keep out of their way. He wanted to enjoy this night fully.

The band was playing a lively waltz. Namjoon longed to dance and watched as the couples danced in near-perfect synchronization. To have something to do rather than just stand there and pine, Namjoon made his way over to the refreshment table. Rows of sparkling glasses of champagne awaited him. He picked one up gingerly, knowing very well how he usually was around glassware. He lightly sipped and then turned around....and abruptly bumped into someone.

Namjoon's hold on the glass nearly slipped and he barely saved it and himself from toppling over the rest of the glasses. He thanked the high heavens that he didn't make a mess of the table, especially since before him, stood you.

“I'm very sorry, sir. I wasn't paying attention,” you apologized. You were looking down as you smoothed down the front of your dress. It had thin straps, a sweetheart neckline, and a voluminous silky skirt that cinched at your hips. It was a very lovely shade of pale lilac and you wore long matching gloves. Your hair was up in a high bun and you wore some shimmer on your eyelids and a bit of gloss on your lips. To put it plain and simple, you were the most gorgeous girl Namjoon had ever seen.

“N-no, the fault is m-mine,” Namjoon stuttered, internally cursing at himself.

Then you finally look up at the person you bumped into, your breath catching. If you were to describe your ideal type, here he was in the flesh. His tall stature, the contrast between his soft gaze and his uniquely fierce eyes, the way a dimple formed on his left cheek as he smiled at you.

“Hello,” you breathed out.

“Hi. I mean, good evening,” Namjoon bowed. You curtsied in reply. “Did you come to have a drink?” Namjoon asked.

“Yes, but I'm not thirsty anymore,” you responded. You looked over at where all the couples were dancing and then turned back to him. “I would like to dance. Would you be my partner?”

Namjoon felt instant glee and accepted. He put his glass down and offered you his arm. You took it, smiling at him as Namjoon's heart melted. You both made your way to the center of the ballroom.

As soon as your foot stepped onto the dance floor, your father, the king, sat up immediately, his apparent antennas of anything concerning you and possible marriage reacting. He grinned at the sight of you and your partner getting into position to start the next dance and felt behind him, grasping the jacket of his most trusted adviser.

“Who is he? Who is he?!”

The adviser struggled with the king's grasp, lamenting the silver buttons that were coming off, saying, “Sire, please!” until the king finally let go. Then he squinted his eyes at your partner. “I've never seen him before. I don't believe he was announced.”

“Find out who he is! Just look at her!” The king was practically falling out of his seat. “Head over heels! I do believe I shall have my grandchildren yet.”

“Sire, honestly! Do you think it wise to let her decide who she marries? What if she picks a fool for a king?”

“My daughter is not dense,” the king replied. “She knows idiots when she meets them and would not deign to suffer their presence, nevermind marry one. You will find out the name of this boy. And his family. And you would do it soon!”

The adviser bowed and turned to leave, but the king stopped him.

“Tell that miserable conductor to play a more romantic tune. What is he thinking, playing that rambunctious music?!”

“As you wish, sire.”

You, on the other hand, smiled brightly at Namjoon as you both stood waiting, your hands in position to dance, for the music to start.

The band began playing a slow tune that was wonderfully romantic as you and Namjoon danced together. You could not see the crowd or anything besides Namjoon. You both floated around the ballroom, Namjoon twirling you a few times. Throughout the entire waltz, you were both smiling, lost in each other.

You and Namjoon danced another waltz, and then found yourselves at the edge of the ballroom, at the doors which led to the garden. You invited him to come walk with you, which he happily accepted.

“I've had men asking for my hand all night,” you said after walking for a bit among the rose bushes. “You're the only one I've decided to dance with.”

“You couldn't have picked a more better dancer,” Namjoon smiled mischievously.

“Oh? Is that so?” You giggled.

“Milady, you are looking at the kingdom's best solo dancer.”

“How fortunate I am! I would enjoy a demonstration of your fine skills, sir.”

Namjoon chuckled, setting himself up at a short distance from you. “You're in for a show, madam.”

You grinned, adjusting your skirts as you sat down on a nearby bench to watch your handsome prince dance before you. What you weren't expecting was an octopus-sort of dance, complete with silly footwork. You laughed, but Namjoon was undeterred, his objective being to make you laugh.

You stood up and danced along with him. Your moves were more graceful and fluid, but still very goofy. You and Namjoon danced together as if competing to see who could look more ridiculous until you both fell on the ground, unable to stop laughing.

“What fun!” You exclaimed. “I've never had such an experience before!”

“You've never danced all crazy?” Namjoon asked, still laughing a bit.

“No, and never mind in front of anyone else. I'm expected to act very prim and proper in front of others, and they are expected to as well. I think you're the first one whose ever made laugh like this,” you giggled.

“Is that a good thing?”

“It's the best thing! You're quite fun to be with.”

Namjoon smiled, very happy to see you happy.

The rest of the evening toned down as you and Namjoon left behind your silliness and continued your walk, talking about anything and everything. You would point out the prettiness of the moon and Namjoon would offer an explanation to its brightness as he had read in books. Then he'd go into his own thoughts about the strangeness and wonderfulness of how its the same moon everyone sees no matter where they are or what time they live in. How strange the things around us are so constant yet the world is ever changing at the same time. How wonderful people learn from others from the past and continue to learn and grow. The odds of the world being the way it is, people discovering things when they do, the chances of meeting people who end up changing your lives. He ends his philosophical thoughts with saying how glad he is to have met you, and how he will remember you after this night by looking up at the moon.

At the end of it all, you stand there thoroughly surprised because how many times have you over-contemplated things and ideas of the world as he just had, and what are the chances that you and your prince shared this tendency, and also, how much more romantic could your prince get?

“I'm sorry if I bored you a bit there,” Namjoon says, realizing how long he droned on.

“No, don't apologize,” you said. “Honestly, I think about things like that all the time as well.”

“Really?” Namjoon said, his dimples showing.

You grinned. “Yes, and I'm very happy to see that I'm not alone in that.”

You were in a part of the garden that was close to the ballroom. You could hear another waltz start to play. Namjoon bowed.

“May I have this dance?”

You took his hand and another series of dancing began, though this time through the garden. You both stopped when you reached a white fountain with sparkling water and you both sat at its edge. Namjoon took a big leap of faith and slowly put his arms around you with your side at his chest and you let him. You sighed contently as he held you, looking at the big clock of the castle which you had a good view from where you sat.

“What's your name?” Namjoon murmured, gently stroking your cheek and jaw with his gloved fingers.

“___,” you told him. “What is yours?”

“I'm-”

The giant castle clock sounded.

Oh crap, Namjoon thought.

“Um, I'm very sorry, but I have to go,” he said, gently releasing you from his embrace and standing up.

“What do you mean?” You asked, tilting your head to your side. Namjoon found this absolutely adorable, but no, wait, he can't get sidetracked.

“It's hard to explain, but I really have to go now! Thank you for such an amazing night. I'll never forget it, or you.”

With that, Namjoon was gone. You stood up, puzzled, and then the forever-ness of his goodbye hits you and you go to your father's people to seek your prince out.

Namjoon had exited through the ballroom and found himself in pursuit from some guards. He ran down the hallways and out the main door to fresh air. He sprinted down the stairs, skipping almost entire flights until he admirably trips and falls flat on his face, one of his glass shoes flying in the process. There was no time to recover from the fall and Namjoon hurriedly stood up and went off again, forgetting his shoe. The footman beckoned him with his hand urgently, holding the door of the orange carriage open for him. Namjoon dove inside the carriage and the footman had barely enough time to close the door and hold onto the carriage when it sped off.

On the way home, Namjoon wondered what would happen if he was still inside the pumpkin when everything changed back. He debated jumping out the carriage when it stopped. He was home, or at least, at Lady Yang's home. Namjoon rushed out of the carriage and just in time too. He watched as the pumpkin shrank in size and his helpers turn back into mice.

Breathing hard, he looked down at himself. He was naked except for the glass shoe still on his foot. He vaguely recalled losing the other one. Namjoon took the shoe off and tapped it. He even hit it against the ground for good measure. Sturdy, just like Jin said. Namjoon had no idea why the glass shoe remained but he was happy for it, treasuring it as a memoir of the best night he ever had.

Namjoon changed into his thin pajamas in his room and put the glass shoe away, well-hidden. Then he took the pink shirt of Jungkook's that he had ruined in the wash basin the previous morning and set it by his windowsill. He gave his thanks to Jin once again, gazing out into the night sky, and then went to bed, thinking of you. By the time Namjoon woke up, the shirt was gone.

“You'll go door to door trying on the glass shoe on every young man in the kingdom. No exceptions,” the King said the next morning to his most trusted adviser in his royal office.

“Can't I come along, Father?” you said, coming closer to his desk. “I spent the entire night with him! I would know him when I see him!”

“I'm not too sure about that, milady,” the royal adviser said.

“Yes,” said the King. “He could have dyed his hair for the event. Worn makeup. Doing so is still the trend, you know. The fact is, people come to these events looking their absolute best. You'd be surprised at how many people look different from their dolled-up selves.”

“I still think I could recognize him.”

“Maybe so, but I won't risk your safety by letting you go door to door at every home in the kingdom. I think the shoe would be a good indicator of your dream man. It is quite big. I assume it wouldn't fit many men.”

“But what if it fits several?”

“Then we'll bring them all to the castle and you can see for yourself if any of them is your prince.” The King clapped his hands. “Now that's that. You must let my adviser be on his way.”

You sighed and went to your bedroom, thinking of your mystery man as you played the waiting game.

“What have you been doing all night? I thought I told you to clean the fireplace and make the dessert,” Lady Yang chastised.

“I must have fallen asleep,” Namjoon said. “Working on the carriage took a lot out of me.”

Not to mention dancing all night with ___, he thought.

“I'll get right on them both,” Namjoon assured his boss. He disappeared into the kitchen right as the doorbell rung. A few moments later, Lady Yang yelled for Namjoon to return to the foyer.

“Is something wrong?” he asked after complying. The visitor had been their neighbor, Lady Jung, who smiled and bid them goodbye. Lady Yang curtsied to her and turned back to Namjoon, closing the door.

“Never mind the dessert! I need you to wake up Taehyung and Jungkook and help them get ready. I want them in their best clothes, hurry!”

“What happened?”

“No questions, Namjoon! Just do it!”

Jungkook and Taehyung were a pain to wake up in the morning, but Namjoon was the embodiment of patience and kept at it until they both finally sat up in their beds, hair sticking up and eyes squinting at Namjoon.

“What do you want?” Jungkook asked lazily.

“Your mother wants you two up. I think something important has happened.”

At that moment, Lady Yang bursts in. She has changed into some of her finer dresses and her hair is styled a lot neater. At the sight of her boys still in bed, she gasps.

“You must get up! I've just gotten the most excellent news! The princess is looking for the man she danced with last night in hopes of marrying him!”

“...Okay?” Taehyung asked. “He obviously wasn't us.”

Lady Yang scowled at him. “Here's the thing. No one knows who that man was, not even the princess. A royal adviser is going around the kingdom having men try on a glass shoe that was left behind by the mysterious man. You both may yet have a chance!”

Taehyung and Jungkook looked at each other in brief silence. Then, as if lightning had struck them, they shot out of their beds and clamored to their closets, pulling out clothes and more clothes and yelling at Namjoon to come help them.

Namjoon couldn't speak. He couldn't breathe. A glass shoe, she had said? Namjoon felt the blood drain from his face.

No.

He had danced with the princess?! How very stupid of him to not figure it out! The way everyone had parted to let him and you enter the dance floor. How you knew your way around the gardens. The fact that you shared the same name with the princess, who was in fact, you!

Namjoon helped Lady Yang's sons get ready, all the while daydreaming of you. They were not at all concerned at his silence. Once they were ready and heard from another neighbor that the royal representatives were in the area, Lady Yang preoccupied herself with setting her sons in perfect positions around the main sitting room.

“And where shall I sit?” Namjoon asked.

Lady Yang let out a bark of a laugh.

“No, no Namjoon. You have yet the fireplace to clean.” She led Namjoon to their smaller sitting room, gesturing to the fireplace. “I'm locking you in here as well. I won't have you trying on the shoe and possibly taking away the chances of my sons marrying the princess. And I will advise you to stay quiet as well or there will be consequences!”

As soon as she locked the door, the door bell rung.

Namjoon debated making all the noise just so that they would come in here and have him try on the glass shoe. But, Namjoon looked down at his sooty and raggy appearance. He certainly didn't look like a prince. They would sooner laugh at him than let him try on the shoe. Or what if he did try on the shoe and they took him to the princess? And she found out who he really is? Namjoon couldn't take that rejection. He found that he agreed with Lady Yang's locking him in here. Much better to leave last night as a fond memory.

You had been pestering your father all day with the entire situation of finding your mystery man, wanting updates. Exasperated, he finally sent out a messenger to find his adviser and report back how the glass shoe fitting was coming along. But this wasn't good enough, so you disguised yourself as a guard with the begrudging help of another guard whom you were friends with. Together, you two accompanied the messenger in search of the royal adviser.

He was at the residence of a Lady Yang. The messenger, you, and your friend guard entered the home at the invitation of Lady Yang and were guided to the main sitting room, which was a complete mess. The royal guard the adviser had brought with him had been acting as a shoe fitter. He was struggling to take off Taehyung's many socks, which he had stuffed onto his foot after seeing the size of the glass shoe.

“Your foot is too small,” Jungkook casually stated.

“And yours is too big!” Taehyung retorted. Jungkook had already went but alas, could not squeeze his giant foot into the shoe.

You all watched the scene unfold. The adviser and messenger talked a little of how no one had fit the shoe yet. Finally, the guard managed to take off all of Taehyung's socks despite Taehyung's attempts to keep them on. He put Taehyung's bare foot into the shoe and found that his heel didn't reach the back of the shoe.

The royal adviser sighed. “Well, this is the last house,” he said, the words surprising you. Was there really no one who fit the shoe?

“I'm not quite sure how to break this to the King,” the adviser continued. “Are you sure there aren't anymore young men in this household?”

“No, sir. My sons are the only ones.”

The royal adviser nodded and marched out the room. You let a little sigh and you and the rest of the guards went out the door. The members of the household walked behind your little party on your way to the front door.

“I'm sorry my sons and I could be of no assistance, but should you not find your mystery man-”

“ACHOO!”

Everyone looked to their left at a closed door.

“No other young man here, milady? That sure sounded like one,” the royal adviser said, side-eying Lady Yang. You looked at him in expectation, even though he acknowledged you no more as a guard. “Please open the door, Lady Yang.”

Lady Yang's face were as if it were made of stone. Slowly, she took out a key and unlocked the door. She gently pushed it open.

Namjoon was wiping his face with his dirty sleeve. He was covered in soot and any slight motion he made disturbed the ashes of the fireplace, making them float up all around him. He turned around when he heard people step in, surprised to see you all.

You knew it. Even covered in cinders, you knew his face anywhere. Your mouth pulled into the brightest smile at him. Namjoon immediately recognized you through your disguise and his heart stumbled in its beating at the sight of you, but he winced, knowing how awful he looked.

“Young man,” the royal adviser began. “I am one of the king's royal advisers, here with his royal guard and messenger. Are you aware of the reason for our presence?”

“Yes...” Namjoon quietly said, glancing at Lady Yang, whose eyes threatened to murder him.

“Perfect. We would have you try on this glass shoe.”

The royal adviser had him sit down on a cushioned chair. Namjoon was sure Lady Yang would make him pay for ruining her chair with soot. The shoe fitter knelt as he removed Namjoon's worn out shoe. Namjoon didn't even want to look at you, feeling very ashamed of his situation. You, however, looked on happily, feeling all of your dreams come to fruition the closer it got to Namjoon trying on the shoe.

The shoe fitter held up the glass shoe, ready to fit Namjoon's foot into it when, suddenly, the shoe shattered into pieces. The royal adviser gasped loudly. You jumped when it broke. Namjoon was surprised that it broke at all, remembering its strength. Then he looked up at his employer and her sons, seeing Lady Yang's smug face and Jungkook and Taehyung low-five each other while Jungkook hid his slingshot in his pocket and understood. Jungkook always was a good and powerful shot.

“What...W-what?” The royal adviser stuttered, unable to believe it. “How?!”

After getting over your initial shock, you realized it didn't matter. You knew the young man in front of you was the one. You stepped forward, ready to reveal yourself and declare your intentions, when he spoke up.

“If it helps,” Namjoon said. “I have the other one.”

“What did you say?” The royal adviser asked him, looking up from the shattered pieces with wide eyes.

“It's right here,” Namjoon said. He crossed over to the fireplace, revealing a glass shoe from around its corner. Namjoon had brought it with him that morning, not trusting its previous hiding place after all. The shoe fitter swiftly took the shoe from him and put it on Namjoon's foot before any more accidents happened.

It was a perfect fit. Lady Yang and her sons were shocked. The royal adviser let out a huzzah. Namjoon looked up and smiled at you shyly. You smiled back and revealed yourself, taking off your hat and letting loose your hair.

Everyone but Namjoon gasped.

“P-princess!” The adviser stuttered. “How did you come-? Who let you-?”

“I'm very sorry, but I was getting a bit impatient waiting in my room. And now, if you don't mind...” You turned to the man who fit the glass shoe.

“What is your name, sir?” You asked, beaming with happiness.

“Namjoon,” he said, grinning.

You smiled, content at finally knowing his name. You weren't sure what to expect. Perhaps not that the young man you had danced with last night was a servant, but it made no difference to you. He was the man of your dreams whose dimpled smile made you go weak.

“Would you marry me, Namjoon? I promise I'll make you very happy,” you said.

“Of that I have no doubt. Of course I'll marry you.”

You went up to him and kissed him, savoring the feel of his plush lips. To Namjoon, your kiss felt like heaven.

Then Lady Yang cleared her throat. “That's all very well, but I'm afraid Namjoon has a debt to me. His servitude has yet to pay it all off.”

You turned back to the mistress of the house. “What does he owe you?”

“He broke my most valued ruby necklace. It costs more than this house!”

“Ah,” you said. You felt under your guard uniform and pulled out a long chain of diamonds that you wore all the time. You removed it from your neck and offered it to her. “Would this suffice in paying his debt?”

Lady Yang and her sons' eyes glittered at the jewels. Lady Yang took it. “I suppose this would do,” she said.

“You didn't have to do that,” Namjoon told you.

“Something tells me you've worked much more than you've ought to. But you don't have to worry about that anymore,” you replied quietly, taking his hand.

“Thank you, ___.” Namjoon gently took hold of your other hand and raised it to his lips.

You tried to twist your smile into a smirk, “Obviously, if I ended up where you are.”

Namjoon stood in front of you, jeans and a white t-shirt, hair pushed back and modestly styled and making you a little crazy. He pressed forward, raising a hand to the small of your back and guiding you along the pavement, through the swirling of human traffic. You sighed as he lead you through the crowd. There was a strange distance between yourself and the rest of the world, one you’d come so accustomed to, you barely even noticed your isolation anymore. That distance was still there, but with him next to you, it was bearable. 

You talked as you walked, easy words about how your days had been passing, the bright light of the sun reflecting off of dirty city windows. Though your speech was as light as the day, you still felt the ever-constant presence in your stomach, pulling down the end of even your happiest words, causing your smiles to flicker for a second too short. You put on a good show, but you knew that he noticed. But he also knew you were holding back for a reason, so he kept his quiet though the feeling of his hand at your back was more prevalent than it probably should have been. But you didn’t care, even the smallest stretch of his arm about you giving you the kind of comfort of an embrace in the middle of the swirling city. You tried to look straightforward as you walked, your eyes blinking away the sunlight. Eventually, you ended up at his dorm. You entered through the door like returning home after a long day of work, instantly feeling welcome despite the messy environment. You quickly slipped off your shoes and Namjoon helped your jacket off your shoulders.

“Jungkook and Jimin are in Busan promoting,” he said as you entered. Then, with a hint of a frown, “Visiting their families, too, hopefully.”

“I noticed it was oddly quiet.”

“Y/N!” Taehyung grinned as he entered the room. His eyes seemed to light up when you tossed him a smile. He turned and shouted down the corridor, “Hyung! Y/N is here!”

A moment later, Yoongi appeared from the corridor. He glanced at you, which was as much of a greeting as you expected, and continued into the kitchen, “Thank God. Tae has been driving me crazy.”

Taehyung stuck his tongue out at Yoongi as he past. You giggled, “Life is dull without your playmates?”

Tae smiled sheepishly at the notion of ‘playmates,’ but you could tell from his laugh that it was true.

“She’s not here to entertain you,” Namjoon said over your shoulder.

“That’s right,” Tae agreed. You could see the smirk work its way onto his face before he covered it up with a boxy smile. “She’s here to entertain you.”

You laughed as you walked into the dorm, tucking one leg under you and taking a seat on the sofa.

“Hey, that’s not—” Namjoon began, but Tae followed Yoongi like a puppy into the kitchen, his deep voice drifting off as he walked away, “Hey, since Y/N is here, does that mean hyung is going to make something special for dinner tonight or…?”

Namjoon shook his head and sighed as he came to sit on the sofa beside you. You smiled sweetly at him, “What? Do I not entertain you?”

“You do a lot of things to me,” he stated simply, reaching to grab Yoongi’s camera off the coffee table to show you pictures from their latest tour. You let his words stand, as you leaned over his shoulder to look at the pictures on the small camera screen, listening to his voice as he explained the story behind what was happening in each one.

Your friendship had always been this way. The back and forth of light teasing. Series of little codes, puzzles of words with only hints of emotion as meaning. The heavy statement, said so bluntly, absorbed by the other, then ignored. It was how you maintained your balance. You, in a way, lived your life with him through a camera, your words only snapshots of the reality, cutting you out of context and distorted by light and perspective. 

Recently, the snapshot of your life had become blurs of light and motion, the photos less clear and the smiles less prevalent with each passing day. It was a slow fade as if they had sat out in the sunlight for too long, the contrast graying and the content seeming that more melancholic for it. That was how you viewed your life now, it seemed, through a veil of film. You watched as your life rolled, rewound, and kept rolling. Your studies, your family, your once so vivid dreams become little but lines on an overused script. Slowly, you felt your grip grow weak and your fingers fall away, your footsteps against the pavement slowing and hesitantly pressing forward, still lost in an unknown city.

It was a strange feeling, one that had come to seep into every corner. In a way, you’d come to accept it. However, you felt apologetic for the things it did to you; the way your conversations seemed to end in a hazy fade, how your mouth would flicker and flatline, your friends’ words falling on muted ears, your own words always seeming halfhearted no matter how much you tried. As Namjoon scrolled through the photos, your fatigue began to overtake you. You light rested your cheek on his shoulder, letting yourself tune into the tiny rises and falls of his shoulders in time with his breaths, his breath in your hair every time he laughed.

The evening continued as it often did when you came to visit: the boys bickering about this or that, liberally consuming bottles of beer and soju. You liked spending time with them, and even with your diminished state, they managed to put a smile on your face. You were pretty sure they each noticed in their own subtle way a long time ago, but they didn’t hold it against you. And for that, you would always be thankful.

The evening fell deeper and deeper into the night. Slowly the boys stood up and staggered to their beds. You wished them a good night, feeling guilty for the fact that you were secretly a little relieved that they had turned in, your mind and your heart wearing like a rock against the surf with every passing hour of engagement. By the time Jin had drifted off to his bed, you and Namjoon were the only ones in the darkness, barely illuminated by the orange lamplight from the side table of the sofa.

Your conversation had been genial all night, but you could tell he was waiting for what you had been holding back all evening, his hand just barely drifting closer and closer toward you on the sofa cushion throughout the night. You felt your heart drop as your little chuckles faded into the darkness, the conversation obviously coming to the point that you need to make. He was your best friend. You needed to tell him, you wanted to tell him. But you were terrified, for reasons you didn’t dare name.

“I think I’m leaving.”

You could feel him stop, the moment too long between the rise and fall of his chest. He didn’t even look at you as he spoke, keeping his eyes down and dark. You regarded his profile in the darkness, orange light just creeping around his edges. It made you heart speed up and slow down with every breath.

“Where?”

Why?

“London.”

You know why.

“For how long?”

Is everything really that bad?

“I—” you stopped yourself, letting the automatic defensiveness your mind jumped to melt down your shoulders. You answered truthfully, “I don’t know.”

I guess it is.

“I have to get away from—” You stopped. You didn’t even need to look at him to know what he was thinking. He was thinking you need to get away from me. He was wrong, but you didn’t know how to tell him that without breaking the code. You felt constricted, the chains of your careful talk wrapping around your wrists and holding you down.

“I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” you spoke softly. You almost didn’t care if when you went away, he never spoke to you again. You just needed him to know that you would never leave because of him. “Being here, being in Seoul, I don’t know if I can figure that out. It’s too much of...the same. I’m stuck in this life because I can’t seem to think differently. I can’t think differently if I’m living the same life over and over. It’s a loop. A...paradox.”

I need to get away. Let me go, please.

He seemed to consider your words. Even though you could only see his side profile, you could see the soft sadness break in little cracks on his face. He understood. You knew he would. But you also knew that somewhere deep down, he was still harboring the idea that this was all somehow his fault. And that killed you.

He took a breath, taking his weight off his elbows and sitting up to lean back into the sofa. He raised his beer bottle to his lips, still staring straight ahead, “Is this for sure, then?”

Okay.

“Not yet,” you sighed. But you were pretty sure. There didn’t seem to be any other option.

Thank you.

He finally looked at you, turning his head so that the lamplight was behind him, the darkness of the dorm casting baroque shadows on his face. The way he stared at you was like how the moon stares at you while you walk alone at night. His eyes searched yours as if to tell you something, but you only knew that your heart hurt and felt lighter at the same time. For someone so talented with words, he had always had difficulty managing his expression. Maybe that was why he liked music so much, it gave him a chance to freely say what he struggled to during conversation. You understood that. Your own thoughts often sat in the back of your own mind, your tongue unwilling to form itself into the shapes happiness or sadness or love. So everything remained in your head, lost over time like sand that blows over dunes.

Suddenly, he raised his hand and placed it on top your head, his eyes heavy and the smile on his lips sad. You closed one eye at the weight of his hand before he let it trail down to cup on the side of your face, his thumb brushing down stray strands. You leaned into his hand slightly, closing your eyes, his skin the perfect temperature, the very presence of his hand against your cheek giving pause to the ache in your chest.

“You can stay here tonight,” he said. You opened your eyes slowly, feeling your eyelashes brush against the edge of his thumb. “You can have Jungkook’s bed, or Jimin’s if you want. Or the sofa.”

You sighed your thank you, instantly feeling the fatigue wrap around your limbs and pull you further into the cushions and into his hand. Though your lashes, you watched as he stared at you, eyes focused and pointed in the low light, before he gave one final brush of your cheek and pulled his hand away, standing up and bidding you a goodnight—disappearing down the corridor in a shift of shadows before you gathered the strength to open your mouth, worthless words dying in your throat.

You sighed and repositioned to lay down on the sofa, throwing your arm over your forehead, staring up at the plaster of ceiling. You were so tired you couldn’t sleep, your heart aching so much you couldn’t feel, your head spinning so fast that you thought nothing. You should have gone home. You were aware of the clock the whole time. You made up excuses to yourself about the drink and the dark, but in reality, you were just desperate not to be alone again. In the darkness, you asked yourself once more, as you did every day, what was wrong with you. Countless nights you had laid awake, unable to sleep, because of that question. Tonight would be no different. 

You didn’t know what was wrong, but you knew it was like laying on your back in a wide field, the edges of the earth only visible if you strained to see, staring up at the night sky and all its constellations. Sometimes you felt like you were floating into the sky, your mind so distant, leaving everyone behind; your fingers barely sweeping the damp blades of grass as you as you weakly struggled to keep yourself down. Other times, you’d look up and feel the empty pain in your chest, somehow that emptiness making your body heavier, pulling you into the hard earth while everyone else spoke of constellations and shooting stars you couldn’t see.

But then you’d hear his voice, talking about the world or the sky or making some lame joke about starlight in your eyes—making you feel real again. You’d turn your head to the side and he’d always be there, the only one on the same plane as you, the one to grab your hand when you were floating away and the one to pull you up when you were sinking down. And you guessed, in a way, you did the same for him, gripping fingers onto the hem of his shirt when his mind would become too clouded, running your hands through his hair when he says he can’t feel anything anymore. You kept each other stable, somehow, a fragile equilibrium you’d never understand. But it doesn’t matter that you don’t understand some things, as long as they were good. As long as they were him. You’d turn to rest on your side so you can only see the profile of his smile, taking a break from the sky for a little while.

You shot off the sofa before any warm tears could threaten your eyes, using the push of the feeling in your stomach to lead you down the corridor, your arms wrapped tightly around your middle, as if to hold yourself together.

You barely knew what you were doing, moving as if a puppet in someone else’s play. You stared at the white paint on the door, a determination mixing with your desperation. Your limp limbs barely raised to push open the door, slipping in and closing it behind you before the light from the corridor could cause him to wake. You’d been in here plenty of times before, and right now, it felt more like home than your own bedroom did as you took a few steps into the blue midnight light. You refused to let yourself think, only focusing on the feel of the cold floor through your socks as you stepped toward the edge of his bed.

It was easily big enough for two people but no more. The white sheets and gray comforter were pulled halfway up, rumpled into curves and broken lines. He laid on his back, his face facing away from you, the curve of his profile in the low blue light enough to make your heart break altogether. Before you had a chance to wake up from whatever sleep-deprived hallucination you were living, you easily slipped into the sheets behind him, your body feeling small against the coolness of the blankets. You turned your back to him, curling into your side and holding your hands close to your face, squeezing your eyes shut as your cheek rubbed against the pillow and your skin moved against the soft cotton of the sheets.

You couldn’t say what made you do it. All you knew was you felt like you were adrift in a mid-ocean current, limbs too exhausted from kicking to do anything but let the cool water partially submerge you, pulling you to a distant shore. But with him next to you, it was like seeing the distance line of land, still too far for you to touch, but close enough to cause you to shut your eyes, hoping that by morning, current willing, the shore would just be a little closer. It was like that you began to settle into the cold bed, letting the pulsing, wave-like memory on your muscles to lull you into some vague imitation of sleep.

In your half-dream, all you could see was him, the way he would bare his teeth when he grinned, the heavy tap of his fingers against whatever surface would give him leverage, he way he leaned his head into yours to whisper to you clever comments and barely-there secrets. The way his glance felt like a held hand, his sad words the realest things you had felt in a million years.

The sound of shifting sheets and the small movements of the mattress behind you caused you to shudder, squeezing your eyes and hands even tighter, praying. You felt the sudden stillness as he noticed you, the unspoken question floating into the air like smoke from a single cigarette, the gray twisting and dancing to its death above you. You didn’t dare breathe. The moment felt like a million years, the world shattering like thin ice on a window pane when you felt him shift toward you, pressing his form right up against yours, his arm hesitantly snaking around to secure your waist. He gently—so, so gently—settled his forehead against your shoulder, his sigh blowing over the skin of your back. He pulled you into him, and you felt like every piece of you crumbled at his touch. You relaxed into the bed, into his arms that seemed to catch you from your watery suspension, and no longer did you feel so adrift.

You could feel his softness of lips as they worked against the skin of your shoulder, his rasping whisper breaking the cool blue air:

“I’m sorry.”

I love you.

The delicate page that had your names listed on it, your definitions ink stained and unclear, could be crumpled a little bit, if just for tonight. You brought one hand to rest on top of his around your waist, your thumb running over the tight skin of his knuckles. His slight sighs slowly turned into steady breaths, the weight of him around you dragging you further underwater, where you could finally close your eyes, not caring about drowning if you could just remain here forever.

I love you, too.

A/N: ???