#rant tw.

While I do not agree with some creative decisions, here’s something I found today on reddit that also should be taken into consideration from time to time and that  I do agree with instead of just blatantly hate on something without trying to have a bit of a clearer view from both sides of the coin. Now I’m not trying to say that any of you who don’t agree with this are hating, but it’s, nonetheless, an interesting point of view I’d like to share.

I’ve had this discussion IRL a few times with some of my friends and late college partners — some of them who decided to go into the movie / television industry after we finished our Design degree. And several of these conversations came into one conclusion: it is impossible to adapt a book to tv medium in absolute accordance to the source material. Some things simply do not translate into a visual dependent medium. However, when the case is that the source is unfinished, as is the case with the ASOIAF series, things get a little trickier. (Add in the fact that it’s one of the most complex universes being explored at the moment with endless possibilites, and you’ll find yourself in an endless pit).

Some bits and pieces are highlighted to make the point clear and shine a little TL;DR on it and the source is linked as well.

My great aunt had to have the same biopsies done that I’m going to have. And hers came back as like grade 3 metastatic carcinoma. So now I’m more anxious that mine may come back similar AND having to put all of that on my poor mom who lost her dad just a couple years ago and took it really hard. And hers came mom died from cancer when I was still in high school.

i could feel myself retreating back to my childhood self and how i felt because of the way my family acts. it's.. exhausting.

I talked a bit with one of the people who had recently left Them

and like I did good with being present and we commiserated in being painted as the Devil and I talked about how they painted me the same( me, who grew up sitting in their pew) and a little about my frustration with Them,- like 1 (mother of 5, known to said person) wasn’t really messed up until she got into drugs in HS (I grew up with her; have known her since they were 9 and I almost 7) and idk if it’s really right at all to blame her parents (they certainly didn’t invite her to do crack, I didn’t say that part in church tho) but being ostracized by Them didn’t help - I mean, to me they had been family for better than a decade. It still hurts- sometimes really bad, maybe not as bad, definitely not as long as the episodes were in high school, but I will not be going down where there may be people I know for the Feast, at least not until I’m out of school completely. (I can’t face that kind of spiral if I’m in classes, even if it isn’t a long one.)

And I defended the 4 a bit, and Elisha’s wife. It’s a lot to lose family - the people there know that. It’s also a lot to have to sort everything you’ve ever beileived and Then, on top of that, if you go back to a congregation face people you demonized for years. That’s a lot. And we talked about how they need love, and not hate or blame or rumors rn.

And how awful it is for a father to run off his entire family and not even want to make a deal to see his grandkin. But none of this was revelation. They’ve known all of it since between 1998 (when the first grandkid was born-ish?) and definitely by 2018, when he said the shit he said on the opening to the feast recording & Visitors took the whole mess back to Branson sites. We knew it flew from Florida to Oregon then.

But Mom is angry because I talked about it. I’m so sick of her attempting to uphold that stupid rule- idk if she even realizes she does it, or that she realizes it’s there, the rule about pearls before swine that attempted to keep the problems within the 4 walls; I had so many problems with that rule at the first- But I didn’t even bring them up first- mom did. And then they took the conversation, because we Had been talking about narcissists and false prophets and false gospels (and I was talking about Armstrong and the Kingdom of God Gospel focused on in the sermon and how actually Kingdom of God is always in conjunction with healing, and I’ve yet to see where it has the word “government” or “administration” connected except where it has been connected in, but they twisted that part good when other people started giving sidelong glances, and next thing I knew, we were no longer discussing Church History- which would benefit the 2 new people and a number of the old, but Cru. And then, it just felt really nice to say words with people who Get It and don’t try to make me feel bad for being hurt like Mom. They Get It, and I’m not the bad guy for being hurt there.) and after we were in the middle of talking about false gospels we were talking about Cru and the spirit of Jezebel, and how they hope he isn’t ever able to build a congregation, but he’s a soothsayer and he’ll tell that old sob story how his kid (s and wife, now) have abandoned him for being a follower of Jesus (or maybe he’ll use the title Prophet, he liked trying it on) and I don’t mean to hurt anyone. I stuck up for them and said they’re hurting and upside down and have only ever heard the things he said.

And yea, of course they participated in perpetuating it. So did I. I was pretty good at it. That sucks. Of course some of them have to come to that reckoning, and it hurts, but I never told these other people that the 4 should be blamed in any way. I said that it hurts, and the entire lot need support and to not talk about those things unless they bring any up and to just lend an ear.

Lack of sleep hygiene rant