𝐔𝐍𝐁𝐑𝐄𝚨𝚱𝚨𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐖𝚨𝐋𝐋

this blog will be canon divergent. please bare in mind that my selective nature is not extended to mutuals of my main blog. i will be slow with following those i’m unfamiliar with. just be patient with me.  low activity.   written by yana.  they / them.

WIP RULES 

𝐒𝐄𝚨.   you're drowning.   a sea of emotions,   responsibilities,   people,   things,   everything.   you just can't handle it all,   you need to escape,   but you can't.   even talking to someone and being told it's okay,   compliments,   nice things people say,   it all adds up to drown you further.   guilt,   for feeling this way when everyone's being nice and you're not enough.  will you sink or swim?

𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞.“ i think enjoy is an understatement. i can tell how much care you put into it. “ for us.  a voice slowly unraveling into the sweetness that existed all along; barred by literal and metaphorical thorns and unspeakable pain. kisara was like the hearth fires; a place for all to return; and shionne the constant flame that would not extinguish her light for the wayward. both women with no limits to their own ways of showing tender mercies that were clearly second skins to them.

“ i had no idea that me enjoying it…made you so happy though. i’m — glad. how could i mind that? if anything , i can’t remember eating food so delicious.“ no impatient tapping on her arms this time in discomfort or annoyance. the true soul before her burned brightly at both ends . 

“ i’m hardly as good as you are in cooking but , i feel you do so much for everyone. myself included. it’s obvious you’re most skilled at the task, yet . . um, i was thinking — “ she looks away with pause then purpose; opening herself like this at all was a harrowing and painful experience as much as it was natural to be in the steadiness of her companion. her friend. 

“ well, i’d like to help cook with you if that’s alright? i know i’m essentially a novice, i pretty much only knew porridge starting this whole thing, but? i learned a lot last time we were ‘training’ together; and i’d like to ease your shoulders and well, um, just…spend some time alone. i suppose it’s a bit weird to hear that from me.” her smile – is it mirthful almost? 

                          “ that alright with you, ‘captain? ‘ “ 

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞.    how could she hide such an immediate burst of happiness that swelled from within her at no warning? the depth of shionne’s own well was so deep with love and understanding,    her kindness knew no bounds.    how she was able to contain it for so long was a curiosity,    but then again,    kisara was the same.    she had never cooked with so much love.    the way they all made her feel so appreciated and needed.    kisara could feel the layers tearing away,    showing new sides that she was unaware of.    how far they had gotten.    kisara had always wanted to be a friend that shionne could count on in times of need.    but she didn’t know that in return she would get the same out of shionne.    she was a bit naive in the way that she felt she was the only person who could care for others in a way that convey love through actions and doing.    it had been her duty for so long.    she felt foreign to allowing others to take on that burden—burden,    that word didn’t feel like it belonged in with acts of kindness and love.    because,    she didn’t feel burdened at all when doing for others.     how had she allowed the word to shift as it was —as if having someone do for her was a task worth complaining about.     she felt at ease now,    wanting so much to convey herself in an intimate way.    one that she would not often partake in,    but in this case,    shionne’s thorns kept her from embracing her to express her love and acceptance.  

❛ the lie became the truth. ❜   ❨   .  .  .   /   ✐ 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫   [ status:  accepting ]  ❩

𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝,    𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐭—𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞.    she clenched her fists,    holding back the rage and tears that could swell within her when the past consumed her.    a deep breath is taken as the silence takes over and she left with an emptiness so overwhelming that she longs for a need to fill it.    lies… all of them lies? her head can’t wrap around the truth fast enough to make it clear to her.    to make her see that deep down beneath all of the sadness and rage,    her brother did not falter in his beliefs.    she was the dreamer.    she was the one to hope for the better tomorrow.    yet now she felt an untamable fury inside of her—and she did not know where to place it.    the anger from being lied to,    the anger from not being told the truth from the very beginning,