#randomthoughtsatnight

Tonight's thought:

Suddenly, this came into my mind "If I freed my self from work and take a rest, what's next?". I surely don't know yet, but I am hoping that this time great things will happen. I've been suffering personal issues this past 2 years, and I only kept that by myself. It seemed that I've been experiencing anxiety and depression lately, it's like I'm never gonna recover from this. There were times, I cried out of nowhere for no reason, feel sadness most of the time like for example in a day, I am experiencing moodswings, sudden change of moods from being happy to being sad most of the time i feel sad, like, tulala everytime. And I want to change that, I want to gain back myself again the happy me, worry-free me, the healthy one.

You thought preserving your heart and hurting no one in the process is easy, but I guess not. In your selfish act of self-preservation, causing people pain is apparently, inevitable. What you set out to do, cancels the intention itself. Oh, the irony. 

The pressure you put yourself into plus the people who has no idea what you're going through but amusingly thinks they know you and what's going through your mind and has the indecency to tell you what to do and voice out their opinion of the struggles you "invent". The things you want suddenly becomes wrong and their beliefs are what should be. Your problems are mediocre in their perspective. But you shouldn’t just shunt a person’s battles like that to the side. You don’t know how long they have been fighting with their ghosts.