I have left you and all of the things that I am certain of (if there was any). I have braved waves that keep trying to sway me from keeping afloat. I'm glad I am where I am. I'm glad that I have done nothing that I'll look back into and think of myself any less of a person. Being alone is no small feat, and I am not talking about being in a relationship with someone. I'm talking about when you leave all that is dear to you, in hopes of finding something better for them and for yourself and trying to do everything by your lonesome, not depending on anyone. And really just distancing yourself from people, from people who truly care about you, even people who you truly care about.
You thought preserving your heart and hurting no one in the process is easy, but I guess not. In your selfish act of self-preservation, causing people pain is apparently, inevitable. What you set out to do, cancels the intention itself. Oh, the irony.
The pressure you put yourself into plus the people who has no idea what you're going through but amusingly thinks they know you and what's going through your mind and has the indecency to tell you what to do and voice out their opinion of the struggles you "invent". The things you want suddenly becomes wrong and their beliefs are what should be. Your problems are mediocre in their perspective. But you shouldn’t just shunt a person’s battles like that to the side. You don’t know how long they have been fighting with their ghosts.
I’m sleepy. More thoughts to come.
