Jul 5, 2021
Feeling extra not wanting to be here tonight.
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Feeling extra not wanting to be here tonight.
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Man this made me so sad sigh ;-;) </3 I need to watch it--
Oh but the rating made me so happy hehe >w< <3
Hi, im tired of posting shit for myself only, so could you follow me please, I would appreciate it.
A real suicide note;
In order to share the true emotions of the state of depression, and one contemplating killing themselves; here is an extract from a suicide note to help make awareness.
Now, this is the point that has well and truly broken me, having to write this for you. I know how much this must hurt you, presuming you cared. My very first point is, I beg you to not let this hurt you, as that's what held me back. I'm scared of hurting you and making things harder. You really did mean the entire world to me, honestly. I'm eternally grateful you let me come out with you, I honestly am, it meant an awful lot. Sometimes, you said stuff that really did move me. You actually cared, and sounded so protective. You'd always listen given the matter or personal circumstance and actually cared. I actually felt close to someone, and you are the only person who I'd never hold a grudge against, not one thing you've done upset me, not one. Every day you'd talk, no matter, no circumstance. You'd open up to me, which to me meant a lot. You fought for Contora, you really did, and you're the only person who about made sense, understood, the exact pain I felt losing Harry, and me fighting every ounce for Contora, you actually cared. I feel so bad, putting this on you. I don't want to be another shit thing on your list, I really don't. But the time has come for me no more, it really as. I beg you to fight each day, I honestly do. Your messages really did keep me going, and thank you so much.
Again! why!!!
04.26.24 it's me hello again, how are you? unthinkable events that will repeat and repeat, is it that obvious to just ignore you again and again? I was in a situation where I didn't know what to do to save myself. I'm here in the four corners of the room I'm not familiar with while the person you thought would be with you through all the hardships is sleeping soundly as if nothing happened (how did you manage it). I did not know that I would return to this situation, a small world that feels like it is waiting for help even if there is none.. I want to pour out the pain but how?
the pain subsided…
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09.07.23 book date
Barely got any sleep because the storm at midnight was terrible. So morning came, I woke up and told my boss I'll be late for 30 mins as I need to go to the 'post' but in fact I just really needed to grab a Redbull from the shop.
I mean, can I be considered an evil person? I did lie a bit but with no bad intentions, surely picking up something from the post is way less embarrassing and appropriate than telling him I NEED Redbull to survive the day right?......
Previously had bad experiences drinking Redbull on an empty stomach (obviously, you dummy) so had to also get this soft choc-filled croissant <3
Quickly got ready after work and left for the bus, had to put a maxi skirt to go for the vibe I wanted but this heat was just not giving me the vibe back arghhh
We sat down to read in the city centre 'park' after getting coffee. Damn I really need to quit Starbucks, they put so much ice that it starts tasting watery quickly blergh
Anyone read these two books? Thoughts?
And finally, I came home to my sambas, finally!! I waited for months to be able to get one, is the hype dying down??
goodnight ~
He legitimately makes me think, damn the way the world lights up when he looks this way. I haven't watched Free! yet, how about you?
Years ago friend told me that I show my
“ Affection to a fault”
“The steady openness of it makes it seem insincere.”
Now I second guess if my partner wants to hear me say I love you. Is the small item I bought because it made me think of them childish? Am I too much? Do you think I’m lying simply because my hearts always on my sleeve? Because I don’t ever want, even for a moment want you to feel taken for granted, unwanted or unloved.
Now I’m afraid to show it at all because what if that’s what pushes you away?