Kaufmo stopped checking on me after that night. When I started isolating myself before abstracting. He visited once or twice and gave up. I don’t know if I did something to deserve it. I don’t know if he secretly hated me. I don’t know. I don’t know if he thought I was a lost cause but it hurt.
Ragatha visited me. I know she always feels the new to help people and thinks she can fix situations but atleast she checked. Atleast she made sure I showered and ate. Atleast she told me I could talk to her, even if I never did.
Kinger tried a few times. But I was angry and scared and upset and I thought everyone was out to get me. That I deserved to be abandoned.
So I yelled and screamed that I was a lost cause and that there was no fixing me. I was right, wasn’t I? How I abstracted and never came back? How nothing was worth it?
