#questioning radqueer

Coming to the realization that I might be a radqueer… /pos

you are loved

you are important

you deserve better than a "fult"

you deserve better than a "consensual abusive" relationship

you deserve better than "transharmed"

your trauma is already enough to be valid, you deserve better than "transtrauma" and anyone who's doubted how much your trauma affected you was wrong

your condition is already important enough, you deserve better than "transseverity" and everyone who downplayed it was wrong

it will get better. no matter how hard that is to believe

anti radqueer and recovering radqueer flags 💗

anti radqueer: someone who is against radqueers

recovering radqueer: those that are recovering from being in the radqueer community and are doing their best to heal from it

this is a collab thing between me and @report-rqs woo!! these are my/our take on these anti radqueer and recovering radqueer flags by @/acetrappolaswife (deactivated blog). i liked these flags in concept but the stripes were messy, both flags had stripes that were only a couple shades apart, and they didn't have any meanings attached. so we revamped them!

anti radqueer flag stripes:

1st black: (for POC) self care/love for yourself as a POC in a racist society

purples: queerness

pink: paraphiles and paraphila education

white: protection

magenta: anger

2nd black: (for white allys) shutting up and listening to, and respect for, POC

recovering radqueer stripes:

light pink: paraphiles/paraphila education

magenta: anger/frustration at how you were treated

deeper magenta: the strength it takes to leave

green: trauma and growth

off-white: (meaning has been changed) ALL identity terms like anti RQ transid and alternatives like dissomei, etc.

i have a dni on my blog but honestly even if you're on it you can still use these/rb, just reblog respectfully without insulting me pls

🧽 tagging: @harmlesspersonalidentityarchive @antiradqueerguy @recovering-radqueers ++ tell me if you want tagged in similar stuff

Archiving examples of radqueers hurting people in undeniable ways.

When I say undeniable, I mean not things which can be argued to be just a lifestyle choice that seems weird and are discoursed over, like ships or kink choices. I'm referring to 100% advocating for child abuse, animal abuse, r*pe, p*dophilia, CSAM, inc*st, m*rder, s*icide baiting, attacking people of color, and so on.

Providing resources for people who want to fight against radqueers.

I believe the most effective way to stop radqueer idealogy from spreading is to not interact with them, but instead report them. I want to make it easier for us to do that by providing examples. I feel the only way to eliminate these predators' access to the internet is to go straight to the appropriate legal channels. Please feel free to @ my URL in any posts with receipts but please know that actual Tumblr posts or web archived links are very preferred over screenshots.

To all radqueers who are considering leaving the community: There is a safe space for you in the anti-radqueer community - yes, even if you disagree with what I just said, even if you <insert thing here>. Radqueers are not the only ones who will accept you. You can find a place to feel safe that isn't rife with predators and racists. There are safe spaces for you. You can send me an instant message with genuine questions, I will never attack or insult you!

Tags

general receipts tag

radqueer flags

emoji codes (dedicated Carrd)

radqueers being pro harassment

radqueers sui baiting, radqueers encouraging si

radqueers sexually harassing (anti radqueers)

radqueers telling others their trauma doesn’t matter radqueers encouraging/producing/posting CSAM

radqueers encouraging/being in inc*st relationships

radqueers encouraging sexual assault

radqueers encouraging adult/minor IRL relationships

radqueers encouraging zoophilia radqueers being racist

radqueers being ableist

radqueers disrespecting IRL celebrities

positivity for former/leaving radqueers

Important Links and Resources

general resources tag

Step-by-step guide on how to report "transharmful" types to Tumblr for violence

Guide/example of reporting a "transrace winterqueer" for racism

Example of reporting "transparasocial" for transphobia

Example of reporting a p*do on DeviantArt

Step-by-step guide on how to report radqueers for p*dophilia (Not finished yet)

Guide on how to report a radqueer's post/Rentry for stealing your flag [Not sharing publicly! Please send me an ask/IM and I will help you with this.]

The paradox of tolerance and other logical fallacies radqueers rely on

Big masterlist of anti RQ resources

Inc*st survivor resource masterlist

PTSD resource masterlist

Interesting terms which are much better than "transID" [Link updated 9/3]

Archive.org(extension), Archive.is(extension)(another extension)

Cybertip.org

Ic3.gov

Iwf.org.uk

Tips.fbi

Radqueerinfo.nekoweb.org

*This pinned post is a work in progress and may change.

Emergency Resources

USA:

Crisistextline.org

BoysTown - English and Spanish

988 Lifeline - Call, text, chat, American Sign Language (Spanish version)

The Trevor Project - LGBTQ Focused

RAINN - National Sexual Assault Online Hotline

UK:

Samaritans.org

Niteline.ie

Rape Crisis Help

Women's Aid - For women experiencing abuse, also links to help for men and LGBT-specific help

Bodywhys - Eating disorder support

LGBT Ireland's Services

Spunout - Free support texts

Nationwide/Other:

List of suicide crisis lines on Wikipedia

Findahelpline - Search engine for help in your area

MentalSupportCommunity - Forum

Mental Health

Projectlets.org

You Feel Like Shit - An interactive self-care guide

Finch - Mobile self-care app where you raise a baby bird

Wysa - Mental health chatbot to vent to

Other masterlists: MentalIllnessMouse

Tumblr blogs: desultory-suggestions, hopepunk-humanity, randomreasonstolive, 365thingsthatdontsuck, @traumasurvivors

Resources for dangerous situations

Wikipedia's article on sexual grooming/Am I being groomed?

I Think Someone I Know Is Sexually Aggressive

I Feel Threatened/Am I Being Sexually Harassed?

Terms & communities healthier than radqueer

rentry.co/betterthanradqueer

I'm also adding: Our cool flags tag

I don’t lie about having trauma that I don’t have. I consider it unethical. But I’ll be describing my symptoms on Reddit when I’m trying to seek help and I know people are making assumptions about what might have happened to me. Why I have this level of C-PTSD symptoms. And I fear having to say, “No. None of what you’re thinking happened to me. I didn’t suffer like that. I’m just so weak that I was broken by what’s supposed to be a normal childhood.” I fantasize about lying about trauma. Or my parents dying so no one can verify or refute what really happened.

The transid community appealed to me because of how they encourage you to fake your transids. Tell you that there’s nothing morally wrong with lying. That you, a trans(x) person have experienced (x) as much as a “cis(x)” person. I never actually did it. But I felt safe discussing these feelings.

I’m sorry, I just need someone I can talk to about this.

hey, i hear you. first off, you don’t have to apologize for this. you’re not alone in feeling this way, and i get why the rqc community felt like a safe space at the time. they have a way of offering validation in a way that feels really comforting when you’re struggling with your identity or trauma. but the problem is, it’s built on a foundation that isn’t really stable or truthful, and that can make things even harder in the long-term.

the way you’re feeling about your trauma is something i relate to, and something i know a lot of people deal with. it’s REALLY common to struggle with the feeling of “my trauma isn’t bad enough” or “people will think i’m lying if i say what actually happened.” the important thing to understand is that trauma isn’t about checking off a list of what’s objectively bad enough to count. it’s about how your brain and body reacted to what you went through. even if someone else might’ve had a similar experience and turned out “fine,” it doesn’t mean you should have. it doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you were hurt!

fantasizing about lying about trauma, or about something happening that would make your trauma “undeniable” to others is very normal. it's a really awful feeling, yeah, but that's also really normal for people who feel invalidated. it doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn't sound like something you’re doing on purpose! it just means you’re desperate to be understood, and i want to let you know there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. i would guess part of why the rqccommunity felt safe for you is because it told you, “we believe you. you don’t have to justify yourself here.” and that’s something you deserve to have, yeah: but in a way that’s actually honest and healthy.

it would probably help to find spaces that focus on trauma validation and recovery in a way that isn’t tied to rqc rhetoric. places that remind you that your trauma is real, and that you don’t have to lie or stretch the truth for it to matter. i know it's a big step to take, but are you in therapy? a therapist is a really good private space to be heard and validated. also, please let me know if you want to join our tumblr community for former rqs, or you can send us another ask if you want help finding forums/more subreddits for that kind of thing!

I'm really really sorry that you experienced these traumas. I'm really glad, though, that you've been able to get away. You're right: Getting away from toxic people is a huge help. It's not easy to do at all, so I hope you know how strong you are for doing that, because that is huge. It sounds like separating yourself from these people and communities really helped you progress in your recovery journey, and I hope you can continue recovering from what was done to you. Stay strong.

-Mod Ally

Myths about self-care graphic by Mymindoasis.com

Text from the blog post under the cut: