The Baron (my boss) has rudely decided to send me off to war tomorrow(I have to go to work) and thus for 20 years (a 9 hour shift) I must journey away from my castle and court (my friends and roommates). I will need to slay a monster or two (of the white caffeinated variety) however the rewards will be plentiful, for he plays 16 gold pieces an hour, and will supply to me 1 box of pizza for my troubles.

I really need to learn how to distance myself from fictional characters. Because I have once more reached the place where I am too concerned with the continued survival and happiness of the characters to watch without stopping the show every two minutes because I am too worried about them. Or experiencing too much second-hand embarrassment. It’s a comedy D&D stream, for crying out loud. The characters do utterly ridiculous things all the time. And you don’t even see them, you just see people rolling dice and talking about things.

My lord, I request from there a jester or squire or servant. I request one who comes willingly and earnestly. Short yet feisty. I ask that they be flexible in both mind and body. I wish to give all of my love to them save what is reserved for my oath. I desire to occasionally kneel for them or them for myself. My lord send me on a quest so that I either don’t come back or I return with legendary deeds done so that I might deserve an attendant of such high esteem, an impossible task to earn your favor and theirs

When I said a quest would go hard, that didn’t mean that I needed to go to school, who tf thinks quest means modern academia and not antiquated libraries with wizards?