I donāt talk about my gender or sexual identity much because thatās legitimately nobodyās business, but I kinda wanted to touch on something that idk if itās talked about a lot.
Iām a demigirl. Iāve been identifying this way for about 6 years now and itās what Iām comfortable being perceived as. To explain it in the way that suits me, I am a girl but Iām not. I use feminine terms. I enjoy being fem. But Iām not a girl and donāt view myself as one. I do experience dysphoria on occasion, too fem, not fem enough. I donāt enjoy when people solely put me into one box. What box I should be in, I donāt know, I may never know. That doesnāt matter. What matters is that people understand that I am not ājust a girlā (even if I may say that sometimes lol) or ājust non-binaryā. I am both at once.
I remember talking to a friend about my identity once, since both our pronouns online were set to she/they. She said āshe/they just looks better than she/herā and at the time, I just felt kind of invalidated that my identity was just boiled down to an aesthetic.
I remember a point in time where I was bullied for my pronouns being she/they because it was considered attention seeking behavior. āIf youāre fine with going by she/her and youāre afab then youāre just a girl.ā Which is stupid. I am okay with it but that doesnāt imply that that is solely my identity.
I remember a friend thinking my identity would fluctuate and my entire friend group asking me whether I felt more feminine or more non-binary every day to gauge what pronouns I wanted when in truth I just wanted to be seen as a middle ground.
Any time people refer to me, they use she, which is fine, I really couldnāt care less. My close people use they and I appreciate that. I wish I could communicate that I am both without making people lean towards one or the other.
My pronouns being she/they and my identity as a demigirl is important to me. In the words of Janet from The Good Place, āIām not a girl.ā Janet, a fem presenting, she/her using, entity, is not a girl, so why canāt I be as well? Iām a demigirl and Iām very real.
Idk if other demigender people ever feel this way, but I wanted to touch on it bc itās bothered me a lot recently and I start to wonder about how people perceive me from time to time.
Sorry for the big text post, Iāll get back to bullshit silly posts soon!!